Goblin Slayer II – 07 – Agoblinypse Now

Elf tells Slayer that the giant creature charging towards them isn’t an elephant, but the One That Stops the Waters: Mokele Mubenbe. They also spot a goblin riding it on a saddle, and Elf quickly takes it out with an arrow to the chest.

While Lizard and Dwarf use a shout and a spell to halt and stupify the riderless dino, Slayer catches a giant rope tossed to him by the Cow and Guild Girls, and uses it to trip up and cause it to fall. Priestess heals its injuries. All in all a nice bit of work, with Slayer informed by what he learned of hunting from his dad.

That night, Elf’s big sis again tries to get her to fully appreciate what continuing to go with Slayer and the others means, considering she’ll outlive them all. Elf assures her sister she’s fine with it; whether Slayer dies in four decades or tomorrow, she wants to be by his side. I love their sisterly chemistry here, initially speaking in elvish, with Elf mocking her sister’s fiancé, and her sister giving her a forehead flick.

Speaking of the fiancé, he’s in the capable company of Lizardman, Dwarf, and Slayer, who drink with him (he’s a lightweight) to celebrate his impending nuptials. Slayer and the others will head up the river through the forest to where the goblin-ridden dino came from, which Slayer believes to be a nest. He’s learned how to think like a goblin, and knows they’re not complete idiots either. The elves have become too carefree, and are ripe for attack.

That very night, Sword Maiden is deciphering the stone tablets and cross-indexing them with texts on hand. She prepares to write a letter to the chief of the elves, as she’s worried there’s a great threat on the horizon that could even destroy the world.

Our goblin slaying crew is concerned with the more immediate threat of the goblin village. At daybreak, Slayer says goodbye to a scantily clad Cow Girl, while the also-scantily clad Guild Girl hides in bed, not wanting him to see her without her makeup. Cow Girl understands, but also wants Slayer to see what she looks like all the time, since every time he leaves it might be the last time she sees him.

The fiancé offers the assistance of the sylphs on their journey up the river, along with two boats: one to carry the party, and another ahead of it that serves as an effective decoy, manned with Lizardman’s dragontooth warriors. The goblins hiding in the woods are caught off guard and give away their positions, and Lizard and Slayer pick them off one by one.

The river takes them, as the fiance warned, “beyond the darkness”, and we see what that means: the woods are littered with the rotting and defiled corpses of far too many elves. Priestess has seem some shit, but even this is a lot. They they come to another “One That Stops the Waters”—a well-built fortification that seves as a dam.

Once the guards are dealt with, Elf picks the lock to the entrance and the party heads in. After the lush pleasantness of the elven village, this foreboding stone dungeon is far more Goblin Slayery in its atmosphere. They descend a vast barrel-shaped vault, then enter a chamber where there are still more corpses.

From the looks of things, the goblins are poisoning the elves water with the blood (and other fluids) of the elves they killed. Elf Archer once again retches at the realization her home is being defiled in this way. Slayer suspects a goblin shaman is at work here, and decides they’ll camp there for the night, after giving the corpses as proper a burial as they can.

That night, Slayer and Elf have a warm, sweet, and touching scene together that belies the horrible place they’re in but underscores how far they’ve come as friends. They talk about how this situation has gotten to the Priestess, as they had to throw corpses into the river rather than burying them. He then apologizes to Elf for “it being goblins again.”

Elf draws closer to him and puts her head on his shoulder, telling him it’s okay; she doesn’t want goblins this close to her home, especially with her sister getting married. She insists Slayer get some sleep while she keeps watch, and he agrees, though of course his helmet doesn’t come off.

Elf then notices Priestess trembling in her sleep and calms her with a caring hand. As the curtain falls on this first night beyond the darkness, everyone is still together and safe. All we can do is pray it stays that way, and the party can deal with the goblin threat and head back to attend the wedding.

Goblin Slayer II – 06 – Where My Heart Is

I won’t mince words—well, I’ll mince them a little—this is Goblin Slayer at its very best: a quintessential tale of adventure and family, both found and in High Elf Archer’s case, blood. Like a movie in miniature, it’s impeccably structured, starting with the harrowing river ambush by goblins.

Having two civilians around—especially these two—only heightens the danger. And yet while Cow and Guild Girl can only hide under burlap, watch, and try not to freak out, Slayer and his companions have Got This Shit On Lock.

When shit gets real, they’re prepared, their coordinated, and they’re calm. This is what they do for a living. In that regard, Cow and Guild aren’t just traveling with friends to a wedding. They’re experiencing first hand what it’s like to be an adventurer. In effect, it’s a ride-along, only no cops.

Well, at least one of these adventurers, as Slayer, Elf, Priestess, Dwarf, and Lizardman are each extraordinary versions of their archetypes. More than that, they see each other and treat each other as family. Dwarf and Elf do their playful verbal sparing mid-battle.

And each member of the party is crucial for the success: Elf snipes goblins (and heeds Slayer’s suggestion to loosen her arrowheads), Slayer throws and launches his spears (the man is prepared), Dwarf summons Undine to speed their raft and try to lift it over a goblin-built dam.

When he can’t quite get it over, Priestess, who has been shielding everyone from thrown projectiles from above, casts a Purify spell to dissolve the dam. Then Lizardman, who had been steering (someone’s gotta steer) lets out a magical shout that disables all remaining goblins.

With the river cruise returning to its placid state, the party reaches the edge of the forest and make camp for the night. This gives the “lasses”, as Dwarf calls them, the chance to don the swimsuits they bought in the capital and play in the water and fish. Elf, Cow, Guild, and Priestess all get complimented on how lovely they look, and you can almost see Slayer blush through his face guard.

Fanservice quota aside, this is another quintessential adventurer experience: the downtime. While the ladies swim and chat, Dwarf and Lizardman ask Slayer if he’s okay with them being so carefree. Slayer wants Elf to be able to relax as she nears her home. His buds recognize Slayer for who he is: someone a lot kinder and cuddlier than his scary armor suggests.

Even Slayer can cut back a little because they’re now in the land of the elves. That night, the group sits around a fire and tuck into the fish the ladies (mostly Elf and Priestess) caught. Elf opens up about elf courtship, her big sister, her soon-to-be brother-in-law. She regales them with how he was singing about his heroic exploits she stopped and corrected him.

Hearing about Elf’s home warms Slayer’s heart. Even if you can’t see his expression, the heat of the fire in front of him mixed with the lingering warmth of the sunset behind him tell the tale of his feelings. He says her homeland sounds nice, and Elf says “Well, yeah. That’s where my heart is.” Such a simple statement, but delivered with such vulnerable grace by Touyama Nao it actually brought a tear to my eye.

When dawn arrives, Slayer is the first one awake … assuming he even went to sleep, which is doubtful. Such is his status as an incurable worrywart. But he’s not nearly quick enough to notice when an elven warrior suddenly confronts him at swordpoint. Of course, this is Elf’s brother-to-be.

When he learns she’s traveling with these adventurers, he hastens to her tent to confirm she’s there, and gets rightfully screamed at by all four girls in their nighties. I loved that little delay between them all waking up and realizing a guy was in there. Also, now we know Elf is the (or a) Daughter of Starwind.

We learn Slayer was vigilant because he sensed goblins. But unlike him, the elves aren’t too bothered by them. As Guild Girl explains, elves are old enough to remember the battle of the gods, which involved evil spirits, dragons, dark gods, demon lords, and most upsetting of all … polka enthusiasts.

When they arrive at High Elf Archer’s hometown, composer Suehiro Kenichiro adds the appropriate atmosphere and gravitas with an elvish theme dense with flutes and winds, soft drums, and ethereal chimes. The massive treehouses and sprawling network of bridges remind me of those cool fantasy binders from school … and van murals.

But even more splendid than the strange yet welcoming new environs is Elf’s pent-up excitement finally bursting. She’s just so damn happy to show everyone her home. It’s clear she’s proud of it, and cares about everyone enough to want them to enjoy it as well.

She’s in such a playful mood, in fact, that while she’s unpacking, she leaves a bra out so she can mess around with the stone bolos Slayer is working on (yes even here where no goblin could ever be, he prepares). Suddenly, her sister pops in, asking what the bra’s about.

Slayer’s reputation precedes him in song, but he simply tells Elf’s sister that “Songs are songs, I’m just me,” which may be my new favorite Slayerism. Their introduction is interrupted by the appearance of a girl, but not just any girl: the girl they rescued from the ogre.

While Slayer is clueless about a great many things, and that’s often the source of comedy, when it comes to sensing when people have suffered as he suffered and knowing how best to comfort them, there are few more shrewd . Case in point: he knows immediately who the girl is and why she’s there, and knows exactly what to say: That they’re all dead; he killed them all. She can rest easy now. She’s going to be okay.

Elf explains this to her sister, and says their entire party aided in her rescue. Adventuring is Elf’s way of proving what she can do once in a while, but her sister asks if it may not be time for Kuchukahatari, which I assume to mean hanging up her bow and returning home to start a family, as her sister is doing.

Elf’s sister also demonstrates their people’s distrust of other races, especially dwarves, but for all of their bickering, Elf and Dwarf are the best of friends, bucking the trend of their races. Her sister can also tell a big part of why her sister still adventures is to be near him.

When asked what her deal is, Elf says she doesn’t really know, but she can’t really leave him alone and he never bores her. That should be enough for now. It’s such a lovely, subtle way of saying she loves the guy without saying it. And when her sister reminds her that she’ll eventually outlive him, Elf says “we all just have one life,” which is to say, it’s best spent with someone you love.

Their superb sisters heart-to-heart, which elevates Elf to Best Girl Status over Cow Girl for at least this week, is suddenly interrupted by an unsettling blast that shakes the entire forest. Elf senses something is wrong, reaches for her bow and quiver, realizes they’re not on her, then hears Slayer coming to toss them to her and catching them with a wry smile. They really do make a good team.

Just as it was in the river, they now have to fight whatever’s coming while protecting a civilian. But while I assumed like Slayer that this was some kind of goblin incursion, it turns out to be some kind of giant gray dinosaur thing.

And as the funny cherry on top of an nearly perfect episode of Goblin Slayer, and an example of perfect comic timing, he incorrectly mistakes the dino for an elephant, and an exasperated Elf turns back and exclaim that no, it’s not an elephant. Whatever it is, it’s not going to ruin Elder Sister’s wedding—not if High Elf Archer and Goblin Slayer have anything to say about it.

Goblin Slayer II – 05 – You Are Orcdially Invited…

This week has quite the pre-credits stinger: Elf gets a leaf in the mail and declares that it’s time to get married. Her phrasing initially makes her friends believe she’s the one who is marrying her cousin, but it’s actually her big sister; she’s simply been invited.

In fact everyone in the party is invited, as is Guild Girl, who like Slayer doesn’t take enough days off. But before they head off, the party deals with a couple goblin nests, including a church that was overrun by the little shits, where all the nuns were either tortured, raped, or killed.

The party spends the night in the church, and Priestess tries out one of her new Steel-ranked miracles, Purify, to heal and reinvigorate everyone around her. Upon Slayer’s return home, Cow Girl is happy and relieved to see him, as always, and Slayer tells her about the wedding she’s also invited to.

With the usual party enriched by two additional lovely ladies, they set off the next day on horse and carriage to the capital. Elf, Guild Girl and Cow Girl are excited to check out the shops for some wedding clothes, and insist Priestess comes with them, knowing she’s quite incorrect about not looking good in anything.

Slayer pays his first visit to the temple and to the Sword Maiden in a good long time, but he’s his usual cold, detached self around her. Despite how happy and comforted she is to see him, he’s just there to drop off the stone tablets they found in the church.

When she can’t immediately discern whether the ancient texts carved into them are about goblins, he skedaddles. You’re right, Sword Maiden, he is mean as hell! That night everyone eats, drinks, and checks out what they bought.

The next morning the group heads out on a raft, and the blue skies, clear waters, and dramatic rocky cliffs dotted with green make for some very lush and pretty scenery on the way. The only concern is that a lot of boats have been lost in this river of late, and Slayer assumes goblins.

While segueing from rescuing horribly traumatized nuns and hi-byeing the Sword Maiden to fun pre-wedding shopping and then being ambushed from above by hundreds of falling rocks makes for some tonal dissonance, that’s par for the course with Goblin Slayer. Hopefully everyone makes it to the wedding in one piece!

Goblin Slayer II – 04 – Shout It Out

The peace of the training grounds is disturbed by the screams of those working on rebuilding the village. Goblin Slayer tells his students to form a defensive posture and await his return; if he doesn’t return due to death or injury, they’ll have to take care of themselves.

Slayer meets up with his party and other experienced adventurers, and they prepare to head to the tunnels in order to stop the flow of goblins. Priestess fears the rookie fighters will be targeted by the goblins already above ground, and asks to lead them on her own.

While Slayer and his pals do their thing in the tunnels, The goblins do indeed target the younger weaker kids headed home. They’re able to hold out until Priestess arrives with Wizard Boy, the Rhea warrior girl, and the other older fighters.

While everyone fights back the goblins, who are both on the ground and in the trees, Wizard Boy actually stops and thinks properly about what he can and should do. He doesn’t need to be a goblin slayer here. His job is to protect the others.

Taking a page out of the Dwarf’s book, rather than simply tossing fireballs at the enemy, he uses a spell in order to amplify his shouting, causing the large-eared goblins to flee in pain. Rather than chase down and massacre them, everyone uses the opportunity to pull back to the safety of the town.

As for the adventurers in the tunnel, Slayer has the Dwarf blast a hole in the ceiling, above which is a lake that floods all the tunnels. He then has the mage use ice magic to freeze the water and cause the tunnels to crumble. The goblins are beaten above and below ground without too much trouble.

For her efforts apart from her main party, Priestess ranks up to Steel, and while she surely earned it with her heroism and poise, she still intends to prove she’s worthy of the rank, both to her friends and to herself.

As for Wizard Boy, he came out of the battle with a realization: he doesn’t need to avenge his sister by becoming a copy of Goblin Slayer. Instead, he intends to go adventuring and learn more about how to be a proper wizard.

He’s accompanied by the Rhea warrior girl, who doesn’t take no for an answer and actually induces a jolly laugh from Slayer. As they take off on their adventure together, Cow Girl stands beside Slayer, noting how happy he looks. It was a good night for the adventurers and a bad night for the goblins. Why wouldn’t he be?

P.S. I love how the OP, featuring “Entertainment” by mili, goes SO FUCKING HARD. The vocals, which range from tender and docile to downright Wagnerian, really match Slayer’s inner turmoil and seething rage against goblins.

Goblin Slayer II – 03 – Don’t Be a Stranger

Episode three is a bit of a respite from the goblin battle that preceded it and all about preparation and training. The little Rhea Warrior gets the piss beat out of her by the Onna Kishi because she’ll only get worse in a real battle. The Spearman tries to build up Wizard Boy’s stamina, while Slayer teaches the girls how to use a sling in case they’re out of options.

The day ends with Cow Girl, Priestess and Guild Girl providing a tasty lunch for everyone, and talk turns to dreams everyone has. Rhea wants to “make it” as a warrior even though she’s solo, while Wizard Boy simply wants to get better at defeating goblins.

Priestess tells him about a Wizard she knew wanting to slay a dragon, and when he says that’s unrealistic (unaware she’s talking about his sister) she says it’s a dream; it’s fine to dream. The Spearman also invites Slayer for drinks, and after a quick glance at Cow Girl, he accepts.

That said, I was extremely worried when he was prepping to leave and Cow Girl said her Uncle was also out, leaving her “all by her lonesome.” That dread of potential trouble on the farm affected the laid back atmosphere of the boys drinking at a non-guild tavern.

Slayer doesn’t get too drunk, but the three are tipsy enough to open up about their dreams. Slayer admits that he once wanted to be a legendary hero (kind of like Sword Maiden), but then the real world happened, and now he’s content to slay goblins and train others to do so.

The next day of training, Priestess is having lunch with the Rhea warrior, and with the Lizard Priest’s help, is able to recruit her into her party for an adventure of their own, so they can hopefully be promoted in rank. The Rhea girl warns her not to expect to much of her; I hope they take it easy with whatever their first job is.

Slayer continues to train novices and go out for drinks, and Cow Girl seems a little lonely. She also seems worried, as she drops her mask after he leaves. The village they lived in is being rebuilt, and both of them have mixed feelings, she believes the only thing to do is keep on living as the world turns and accept that change is a certainty.

Of course, some things never change, namely that you never know when goblins will pop out of the ground and swarm around you. One of the men working on the village rebuild learns this the hard way, and when Slayer and the trainees hear screams, Slayer draws his sword and instantly knows what’s up.

It was nice to see everyone take it easy this week, but the time for taking it easy can dry up fast. When goblins are running amok, dreams must be set aside, and all anyone can do is pray they have the skills, strength, stamina, and support to make it through.

The Genius Prince’s Guide – 05 – All Out in Antgadull

Lord Geralt’s untimely demise threw a wrench into Wein and Lowa’s plans, but they waste no time pivoting to an alternate gambit, aiming above else to claim the initiative from both the rest of the empire and the nascent rebellion against it.

This results in Wein brazenly arriving at Marquess Grinahae Antgadull’s front door and trying to sell him a rather dastardly fiction of Geralt being the mastermind behind the rebellion, giving Grinahae the option to throw himself at the mercy of the empire (i.e. Lowa) for a relative slap on the wrist in exchange for revealing all about the rebellion.

Grinahae has Wein depart his manor believing he’s agreed to the proposal, but Wein knew there was a 50-50 shot of doing so. When he and his handful of guards are ambushed by the leader of the rebels, Wein quickly pivots once again, managing to best their leader (whom he believes to be a spy from the west) by taking his sword arm and forcing them to retreat.

Back at the manor, the rebels execute their plan to assassinated Grinahae and burn his manor down, along with all evidence of the rebellion. This plan fails thanks to the skill of Nanaki, Falanya’s bodyguard whom Wein borrowed to ensure the rebellion couldn’t cover their tracks.

By then, Grinahae is already in hot pursuit of Wein with a speedy mounted force of around 100, with plans to eventually seize the princess. Wein seems hopelessly outnumbered—which is exactly what he wants Grinahae to think as they crest a hill.

Wein knows Grinahae knows his own lands, and that the speed of his force will be able to overtake and defeat Wein’s once they’re out on the wide plains beyond. But Grinahae didn’t consider that Wein brought a Natra force that is puny compared to Antgadull’s combined forces, but in this instance outnumbers Grinahae’s host.

Then Grinahae’s escape route is blocked by another large force, this time of Imperial and Provincial forces. When brought before Princess Lowa, the only defense Grinahae can think of is to condemn Wein for bringing an invading force into Antgadull.

However, Lowa and Wein have this covered too: Wein’s Natran force is part of a joint military exercise, made possible thanks to one Ambassador Tallum, who didn’t want Geralt’s sudden death ruin the meeting of Wein and Lowa. Grinahae has no choice but to surrender.

Back in Natra, Lowa enjoys a cup of tea with Ninym, with everything in Antgadull having worked itself out to both her and Wein’s benefit—or at least to neither of their detriments. It certainly could have gone worse, but the quick and careful planning and adaptability they were famous for at the academy helped them win the day.

Lowa confirms that she’s called off the marriage proposal for now, citing the advantage of remaining unwed when it comes to expanding the empire’s influence, and the fact the empire remains in a state of instability. But Lowa’s cup suddenly gets unstable when Ninym brazenly points out that Lowa has feelings for Wein!

We see that Lowa has a blind spot when it comes to this, as she didn’t think anyone knew when it was blatantly obvious to Ninym (and others) for years. What’s great about this show is there’s an actual good reason she likes him, beyong his looks and brains.

That reason is demonstrated when Lowa asks Wein why he didn’t play things differently in Antgadull. Basically, he broke Grinaahae so he’d be easier for Lowa to control. He promised to help her if she ever got them in a mess, and he kept that promise.

As she returns to the empire, she not only admits she likes Wein, but also yearns to have a relationship like Wein and Ninym: one of absolute mutual trust despite their vast differences. For Lowa, becoming empress means being able to stand proudly beside her two old friends.

It’s a noble, nuanced, and very satisfying mindset that eschews the obvious love triangle dynamic for something less zero-sum. And while I’m sure the show will keep its focus on Wein and Ninym as he resumes his efforts to raise Natra out of debt, I hope we get more Lowa again soon.

Akudama Drive – 07 – The Offering

As the elevator to Brother and Sister’s destination rises out of the debris, Hoodlum reunites with the others, proudly reporting to have stabbed the Apprentice to avenge his brother, Brawler, who didn’t make it. When Brother is flippant about there being casualties on the job, Hoodlum almost loses it, but Swindler once again plays the peacemaker, and his temper subsides.

At the end of the elevator’s descent they reach Expo Park, a sprawling abandoned underground amusement park. Bunny and Shark cut in to tell us it was built before the war to preserve the culture of Old Kansai, but ominously notes that “there are some things better left not known”. The siblings’ ultimate destination is a rocket that Brother says will convey him and his Sister to a base on the Moon, where they’ll be safe.

That’s when we learn from Brother that he and his sister are the result of human experiments at Kyushu Plant to create immortal humans. Between them they are the product of 5,555 other siblings who were sacrificed in one horrific way or another to make the two of them possible.

I’m reminded of any number of anime in which humans and innocent kids in particular are treated brutally by an unseen, unfeeling scientific villain. Brother wakes up in a lab in a puddle of blood that grows bigger and bigger until one day the gym once full of siblings is empty.

That’s when the “Headmaster” reports that he was a successful experiment. They go on to make one more, Sister, and the two of them will be sent to Kanto as an “offering”, with mass production to follow. But their “Professor”, an AI in an artificial cat body, took pity on them and allowed them to escape on the Shinkansen. The rest of their story we know.

With that, Brother deposits a billion yen in each of the surviving Akudama’s accounts and deactivates their bomb collars, and prepare to board the rocket. Swindler gives them a farewell hug with the wish that maybe someday they’ll see each other again and eat more yummy takoyaki together.

Then, as the siblings ascend to the rocket’s hatch, Sister is stabbed in the throat…with one of Doctor’s scalpels. She’s fine, but she grabs Brother, making her meaning plain: she’s sold them and everyone else out to the Executioners.

A huge contingent of them suddenly swarm the launch pad and surround the Akudama. When Swindler asks Doctor why, the Doctor coldly declares she doesn’t owe her or anyone a goddamn thing. In exchange for her delivering the “offerings”, Boss removes Doctor’s Akudama status; she’ll no longer be on the run. Boss also tells Brother that the “Moon” they see in the sky is a mere holo-illusion; the real moon was destroyed in the war.

Brother bites Doctors hand and breaks free, while Courier and Cutthroat fight off the swarming Executioners—the latter particularly concerned with Swindler’s safety. He gets cut up pretty bad (which spells trouble considering their medic has defected) but ultimately ends up buying time for Swindler and the siblings.

Brother takes hold of Swindler and leads her and Sister into the rocket just as the countdown reaches zero. The rocket successfully launches with Swindler and Sister inside. Brother probably feels better to have at least protected half of the 5,555 siblings who died for them than none at all.

As for where the rocket is headed, who can say? The episode ends with it trailing away from what’s left of the moon—though perhaps its course takes the earth’s rotation into account. Even if they reach the moon, there surely isn’t anything there but death…but that wouldn’t be any different from the Executioner-infested launch pad.

First Hacker split off, then Brawler died, and now Doctor has stabbed everyone in the back. It remains to be seen if the Executioners either claim or scatter the remaining team of Courier, Cutthroat, and Hoodlum. Much like the war shattered the moon, the show has blown its group dynamic to smithereens. We’ll have to wait and see where the pieces land.

Bofuri – 11 – Maple’s Inferno

BOFURI shifts seemlessly to Shounen Battle Mode as Maple sends May and Yui off on MegaSyrup and fights Mii, Misery and Markus. At first it’s largely a stalemate, with the Emperors’ attacks unable to do much damage and Maple unable to go on offense. Mii forces the issue with her Noble Phantasm ultimate attack [Prison of Flame], forcing Maple to bust out [Machine God] earlier than she wanted.

Overmatched by Maple’s firepower and with her support KO’d, Mii uses [Self-Destruct] while riding Maple’s back, only to learn upon re-spawning that Maple wasn’t harmed by her suicide attack, leading to another patented Mii-Tantrum. Both the tough and crybaby sides of Mii were well-performed by Satou Rina. As for the Emperors’ orb, it was snatched away by a grunt in the midst of the chaos, so Maple Tree comes away empty-handed.

That proves strategically costly, as Maple Tree couldn’t afford to spend that much effort on one foe with no payoff. Both small and medium guilds are dwindling as Maple Tree barely hangs on to the bottom of the Top 10. While that feat is impressive, it only intensifies the target on their back as one of the last remaining small guilds. Subsequent raids prove fruitless, and Sally senses an attack from one of the big guilds coming, so prepares to move their orb off-base.

Those plans come too late, as Sally miscalculates that a big guild like Holy Sword would take forever to mobilize. Instead Holy Sword only sends four, led by Payne, perhaps the game’s most powerful player. Maple stands ready to test that title as the other three Holy Swords battle the rest of Maple Tree.

The episode ends on a cliffhanger as Payne, ultra-buffed by his comrades, does critical HP damage to Maple. If she’s KO’d it’s probably all over. Can Maple recover and can her guild snatch some kind of consolatory victory from the jaws of certain defeat? We’ll find out in the finale.

Bofuri – 10 – The Little Guild that Could

Maple Tree’s haul totals ten orbs, but that’s only good enough for 17th place. To reach the Top 10 they’ll need more, and the easy pickens from smaller guilds like theirs will be gobbled up quick. That means an already tired Sally must sally forth into the night, where her style of attacking is most effective. Kasumi, Kuromu, Iz and Kanade also strike out to gather more orbs, confident Maple can hold the fort with May and Yui.

But the pitfalls of a tiny guild like theirs trying to compete with the big dogs becomes clear when a nearly gassed Sally bites off more than she can chew and is surrounded by Frederica’s Holy Sword soldiers. She messages Maple that she “might die, sorry”, and Maple rushes to her rescue in Angel Mode and mows the Holy Sword columns away with her Hydras and mech beams.

Maple saves Sally (and her haul of orbs), but leaves the base defense to just May and Yui, who are ambushed by Shin of the Flame Emperors Dread of the Holy Sword, who was watching the guild’s movements. Though he picked the perfect time to strike, the twins manage to avoid KO just long enough for Maple to return with Sally.

Maple KOs Dread, who promises he’ll be back with friends. Frankly, Kanade leaving the base for a mere handful of orbs wasn’t worth it. Had the twins died just a few minutes sooner, Dread would have made off like…well, like a bandit! Kanade, with her insta-spells, would have been ideal backup.

Still, everything turns out fine this time. Sally unveils Maple Tree’s “Plan B”, which essentially swaps who’s on offense and defense. Maple, May and Yui are a three-boss demolition team that mercilessly carves through the guilds Sally mapped out, while the rest of the guild stands by at the base. I doubt I’ll ever tire of the interplay of their cute appearance and mild manners with the utter ruin they dole out.

It’s not long until the next victim on Maple’s list are the vaunted Flame Emperors, led by the legendary Mii. Neither Markus nor Misery—neither of them exactly pushovers—can do much more than slow her down a little. Anything that traps Maple in her tracks is quickly reduced to rubble by the twin hammer girls.

In fact, once they’ve thrown everything they can at Maple to no avail, Misery and Markus resign themselves to death and defeat…until their commander Mii arrives in a streak of flames, just as Maple came to Sally’s aid. Thus the stage is set for the biggest showdown of NWO so far, something everyone watching on the sidelines has been waiting for.

Will Mii’s presence enable Markus and Misery to regroup and keep the twins busy, leaving Maple more vulnerable? Or will Mii fall to Mega-Maple’s might just as so many others before her, and have a big ol’ whiny tantrum about it? We shall see!

Vinland Saga – 20 – Everything Must Change

Flanked by Askeladd, Thorfinn, and his new follower Thorkell and his army, Canute marches into Gainsborough like at…well, like a Prince—a clueless boy no longer. Floki can clearly tell something has changed just by looking at Canute’s eyes and hearing his tone.

His newfound backbone, charisma, and will conspire to put Floki in his place. It’s a good start, but the prince knows swaying his father won’t be so easy. More likely than not, the king will have to die before Canute’s Paradise on Earth can be realized.

Canute takes only Askeladd and Thorfinn to his meeting with the king, but the three realize almost immediately that they are walking into a potential ambush. Sweyn has packed his hall with hidden soldiers and archers, and his precise commands for where the trio to stand/kneel makes it clear he’s not shy about his intentions to finish what the war in England couldn’t—dispatch the son he no longer needs.

Askeladd demonstrates what an asset he is to Canute by using his silver tongue to beg Sweyn to reconsider what he believes the “will of the crown” to be. Sweyn has certainly seen better days (long ago, he apparently resembled Canute), and he’s not so subtly implying that the crown he wears is largely responsible, as it has a will of its own…much like the One Ring.

All a king can do is hold onto and increase his power. When Askeladd explains how that wouldn’t necessarily happen if he assassinates Canute, the king withdraws from that course of action, and an uneasy truce is reached. They’re to reconvene in York, where he’ll have a “reward” for his son’s service to the crown.

That night, Canute sits and drinks with his men (and a fresh-shaven—and 23-year-old!—Williband), and hears Askeladd’s impression of his father. Bottom line: Sweyn is no slouch, and dealing with him will pose a considerable challenge.

While pissing outside, Atli and his now brain-damaged brother bid their former boss farewell. Askeladd, a good sport, gives Atli some gold and one final order: never pick up a sword again, but take a wife and work the land. Canute’s paradise will need many more men like Atli and less like Askeladd or Thorkell. Because everything has to change.

P.S. Another Leif Erikson sighting, in Northumbria. Will his and Askeladd’s paths cross once more before the curtain falls?

Vinland Saga – 07 – Getting a Head in France

The Danish King Sweyn orders his armies’ English advances halted to give them time to rest for the winter. That means Askeladd’s crew’s contract work with the army ceases, which means they have to do as the birds do: migrate south in search of food.

It turns out there are already various factions within France fighting one another, including a siege on the Loire river in which a numerically superior Frankish force is unable to take a fort held by only a handful of their enemies. Askeladd sends in Thorfinn, older but still a kid, to make a deal with the besieging army.

Their general—who has a distorted cartoony design that resembles a fat toad, and with a weird voice to match—reluctantly agrees to ally with Askeladd’s men for the siege. The general’s out-of-place appearance is another sign that while Vinland Saga can be very realistic when it wants to be, it’s still depicting a highly stylized version of history and reality.

A more overt sign is when Askeladd’s men join the Frankish general’s armies in the siege the next morning, they come lugging their three boats on their shoulders and running at full speed; at least 25mph (the current record for human speed is Usain Bolt’s 27.8mph; he was not carrying a viking ship).

So yeah, even if the Vikings did carry their ships around on occasions when it was necessary to take land shortcuts, they certainly didn’t carry them that quickly, and I imagine when they were done carrying them they didn’t have enough energy remaining to not just fight a battle, but absolutely dominate in it.

Of course, challenging realism in this show is a slippery slope, so I’ll stop there, as it’s more plausible that after however many years Thorfinn has trained and killed for Askeladd, he’s become a finely-honed, ninja-like killing machine. There’s a long line of soldiers between him and their commander, but he cuts through them all like butter. Unfortunately, when he beheads the commander, the head falls into the lake, and the whole reason he went up there was to claim their leader’s head.

The Frankish general/prince was planning to betray Askeladd when it made the most sense to do so, but Askeladd betrays him first, pillaging the village of all treasure and leaving the worthless empty fort, and the victory, for the general.

Presenting the head of the commander, Thorfinn formally challenges Askeladd to the duel he’s owed once more, and Askeladd formally accepts…but only after they’ve escaped to safety. That means rowing their three big viking ships—likely overladen by treasure and other spoils—down a steep waterfall. Not only do the ships make it down without a scratch, but not a single gold coin spills out.

Despite all the action in this episode, it still felt rather static, in that Thorfinn and Askeladd’s unresolved conflict hung over everything, and the fact it was once again delayed despite Finn meeting the requirements feels like another artifical delay, for which their French excursion felt like so much window dressing. The comic-relief buffonish toad man and questionable physics further undermined the outing.

Goblin Slayer – 11 – A Home Under Siege…Again

Note: This was originally posted under the erroneous episode number 12; it is actually episode 11.

Goblin Slayer has never been one to use many words. As Cow Girl prepares breakfast, he has only one for her: “Run.” The goblins whose prints he discovdered at the boundary of the farm are too numerous in number for him to take on alone in an open field. He suspects they’re led by a shrewed Goblin Lord, and will likely have Hobs among its forces.

But Cow Girl isn’t running; not again. The farm is her home, and if it’s doomed to be destroyed, so is she. The Slayer can’t change her mind, so he tells her he’ll figure something out. That means going to the guild, helm-in-hand (figuratively), and asking for volunteers to help him slay goblins. At first, they don’t take it seriously. Then, the Lancer tells him they’re adventurers in a guild which means, post a quest and offer a reward.

The Slayer offers everything he has and everything he is, all but his life itself, which he promised Cow Girl’s father he wouldn’t give up lest his daughter cry again. Once the elite adventuers can tell how serious he is, they name the price of a drink or two down the road. The Guild Girl offers a gold piece for every goblin slain, and all of a sudden the rank-and-file adventurers are interested too.

Bit by bit, virtually the entire guild agrees to assist the Slayer, including the Priestess and his party who now all consider him a close friend. Those who either never interacted with him or found him annoying for his singlemindedness towards goblins, all agree the guild would be lonely without him.

The Goblin Lord’s army is no joke, but with so many skilled adventerers of various skill sets now committed to his side, Slayer can really open up the playbook and utilize a strategy that will exploit the strengths of his assets and the weaknesses of the enemy.

He knows, for instance, the goblin vanguard would arrive with “meat shields”—wooden boards with captured women tied to them—and leaves it to the Dwarf Shaman and Mage to stupor and put them to sleep so the hostages can be rescued and taken out of harm’s way.

From there, the close-range warriors storm the goblin small fry, aided by archers from long range and magical boundaries to repel enemy arrows. When the goblin riders advance, the adventurers are ready with sharpened stakes.

Once the first waves fail, the Lord takes the gloves off and sends in his heavy hitters, goblin champions. But while the Slayer’s party had a big problem with one, the most experienced and powerful of adventurers are actually glad slightly more worthy foes have arrived, having spent their most recent adventures fighting enemies of their skill or above.

That just leaves the increasingly panicky Goblin Lord himself, who apparently isn’t as big or tough as his Hob underlings. While everyone else fights off his army, Goblin Slayer stalks him alone, his right eye glowing red indicating Limit Break Mode. With the close quarters of the woods resembling his preferred battleground of a cave, he should do fine.

If it weren’t for everyone agreeing to fight with him, he wouldn’t have this opportunity. And so someone who had been a loner, curiosity, and eyesore to much of the rest of the guild has evolved into their general in a glorious battle against the evil cruelty of the goblins.

Golden Kamuy – 21 – The Naked Truth

While visiting Asirpa’s relatives, the crew learns of a band of blind bandits who were once sulfur miners on Mount Iwo. Those who weren’t killed by the acid ended up sightless, and attack anyone they can in the dark. They’re led by a former Abashiri inmate, Toni Anji, who also has tattoos. They head to a local hot spring, but while all the guys are relaxing in the bath, the blind bandits snuff out all the light and attack.

As a result, Sugimoto, Tanigaki, Ogata, Kiroranke, and Shiraishi have to fight an enemy they can’t see with their dicks out. The enemy can “see” them just fine thanks to echolocation by tongue-clicking; a clever tactic that also creates an unsettling atmosphere.

As with the aphrodisiac sea otter incident, the beefcake is strong with this episode, with tasteful angles and shadows preventing everyone’s manhood from being exposed. Only Asirpa and Inkarmat remain clothed. Golden Kamuy has proven quite adept at creating compelling action set pieces, and taking away both the clothes and eyesight of the combatants is yet another example of that proficiency. It’s also pretty hilarious.

While she’s still weary of Kiroranke, Inkarmat still joins him and Tanigaki on a boat to try to escape the bandits, but Toni and his cohorts toss stones to gauge distance before he opens fire, shooting Tanigaki and capsizing the boat. Inkarmat can’t swim, and starts to sink, and even has a vision of a circle of bears coming to claim her soul.

But Tanigaki, who was only shot through the butt, dives into the lake and rescues her, and she rewards him with a kiss. She thought for sure she was a goner, but he showed her that the fate her fortune-telling portends can be changed.

As dawn starts to peek out of the horizon, Sugimoto and Ogata (the only one of them with a gun) infiltrate the bandits’ hideout, but soon find the windows are all nailed shut, and another ambush ensues in the pitch black. Toni goes after Sugimoto, and the two grapple and come to a standoff.

That’s when Hijikata suddenly appears to greet his old fellow inmate, and Ushiyama tears through the walls to let the sun in. The threat is over, with Sugimoto & Co. leaving Toni Anji to Hijikata & Co., provided he can get a copy of the tattoos he bears.

As the now fully-reunited supergroup heads into town to take their pictures taken, of all things, Tsurumi “punishes” his Abashiri mole, Private Usami, by drawing stick figures on his symmetrical face moles (a mole with moles, heh heh). Usami, like so many young men, is so smitten with the Lieutenant that it’s hardly punishment at all.

As for Sugimoto, he is compared to a young Hijikata by the old man’s photographer friend: “like a demon, but also kind.” But while locked in battle in the darkness, Toni Anji said sensed something else those with sight couldn’t: that Sugimoto could never return to who he was. I guess we’ll find out.