Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken! – 12 (Fin) – Such Sweet Sorrow

It wouldn’t be an Eizouken production if it wasn’t completed after an all-nighter, during which Midori, Tsubame and Doumeki modify the ending to omit the dance party, in order to match the only track of music they’re going to get, which has a more somber tone. When their last-minute changes cause them to miss their window for their go-to DVD publisher, Sayaka bails out her creatives by making a deal with the club that got busted by the StuCo.

The dance party is left out as an extra scene to be released when proper music is procured—a necessary sacrifice in order to come in on schedule and under budget. The next day at Comet A (which is held at a very Tokyo Big Sight-looking venue), Tsubame dutifully interacts with customers, until Sayaka deems the time is right for her and Midori to don paper bags, thus increasing word of mouth and social media interest.

Thanks to their genuinely good work and Sayaka’s gift for marketing, the Eizouken sells every last one of their DVDs moments before the chime marking the conclusion of Comet A. Midori, who had to interact less with people and generally took it easy, suddenly has a burst of energy, and suggests the three of them go to her house to watch their finished creation, which for them will be the first time.

The sight of the three comrades gathered beside the warm blue glow of the TV, surrounded by food and drink, Midori safe and content within her hermit crab-like blanket, is just so cozy and beautiful. They slide the DVD into the player just as everyone else who bought one does, and the show begins.

Like Gas Mask Machete Girl and Robot vs. Crab, Shibahama UFO Wars packs an immediate visual punch, with both Midori’s talent for intricate conceptualization and Tsubame’s passion for lyrical motion on full display. The music track wasn’t at all what they expected, but they make it work for the short, and no one outside of the production would ever have suspected otherwise. As people watch, they imagine residential towers like the ones in the short suddenly bursting forth from the ground.

By the time the short ends, Midori has fallen asleep, and Tsubame and Sayaka deem it unnecessary to wake her before heading home. After all, they’re sure she’d say that while it was something they could be proud of, there is always always always room for improvement, and they’ll be working to improve it starting tomorrow, after a well-earned good night’s sleep.

Sure enough, the next morning Midori dashes in and animatedly describes to Tsubame and Sayaka her latest insight into how to improve the short. As she does, the camera pulls out of their studio, past the river to the other shore, and…just keeps going, getting more and more fanciful until an entirely alien world is revealed. Which is only fitting, as Midori might as well not be of our world. ;)

And just like that, we’re no longer privy to the daily goings-on of the Eizouken. They’ll keep at it, but it’s sad we can’t keep watching. At least, not until a second season comes…if it ever comes. I’ll cross my fingers for that, but like Sayaka’s attempt to delay the initial DVD order, it might not work out, and that’s okay. This was a particularly special dozen episodes; a lush and imaginative love letter to anime I almost instantly fell in love with.

It’s been easy-breezy.

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken! – 11 – Ripples of Peace

With 45 days until their deadline, the Eizouken creatives are working furiously while Sayaka conducts business in the same space, giving her the idea for partitions in the future. Things get even more lively when their studio hosts a raid by the Security Club.

The StuCo arrives and expels the president of the Transcription Club for “arranging deals using school funds without permission.” Eizouken is not affected, but the Secretary warns Sayaka not to let something like this happen to her. Sayaka responds with a bill for the property damage. Touche!

While working on the weekend—as they must for all weekends—the trio finally notices their adviser is supervising them at all times, even without overtime. As their adviser, he advises them not to work so long and have some fun from time to time, for “the best work comes from a sense of play.”

This permission to goof off is his highly inconvenient for Sayaka, who is just barely keeping Midori and Tsubame on schedule, but the three go on a fun trip anyway. An underground tunnel leads to a sheer cliff, and the promise of a tire swing leads them to an abandoned, flooded “Solar City” that gives Midori all kinds of ideas about underwater civilizations.

One day, Midori and Tsubame arrive to find a sign posted on the studio entrance strongly warning against acquisition of outside-of-school funds. Sayaka is home sick(!) so Midori and Tsubame catch a train to visit her. We learn how Sayaka and Midori met: they were the only two loners in middle school P.E.

Having endured partnering up with a stranger, Midori follows Sayaka around and even makes money collecting special leaves for a restaurant that serves grilled fish on them (a very Kanamori Sayaka hustle), and even rides a train for the first time. Sayaka’s thoughts about how people temporarily allying for mutual benefit doesn’t automatically denote friendship.

It’s probably why Midori to this day considers both Sayaka and Tsubame “comrades”, not “friends” (or, in Japanese, nakama, not tomodachi). More importantly, it gets to the heart about how people see things in different ways. Where once she saw leaves, Midori now she sees cash, thanks to Sayaka.

When Midori and Tsubame show Sayaka the threatening sign, she tells them not to worry about it; she’s secured another checkmate against the commerce-ruining adults of the school in the form of widespread and overwhelmingly supportive publicity for their Shibahama film project. They’re now virtually bulletproof against the school’s retaliation.

That again underscores the concept of people seeing things in different ways; the school sees the Eizouken’s activities as “anti-educational”; Sayaka considers them the exact opposite. Then, when asked about her progress with the story and ending, Midori is ready with a full rundown of the film, which she gives in a gorgeous illustrative scene.

In the process, Midori utilizes the concept of different perspectives by having the human and kappa societies be a mirror of one another. She also integrates all of the weird and seemingly unrelated ideas she came up with during their adventures! Ironically, the skeptical vice principal planting Cosmos (a symbol of peace) may have been the spark Midori needed to tie everything together.

It looks like an exciting film with no shortage of action and battles, but the central theme of peaceful coexistence and understanding will certainly play well with the city officials. Making the humans and kappa so visually alike is both thematically on-point and a time-saver, indicating the creatives have gotten better at managing their creative ambitions and embracing shortcuts when appropriate.

Armed with a strong story and all the leeway they’ll need to execute, the Eizouken gets to work, and even manages to complete the animation with time to spare (though not much). That’s when they hit an unexpected snag: the music track they acquired for the film’s score is nothing like the demo they heard, and doesn’t match the animation at all.

Assuming there’s no time to draw anything new, they’ll need a musical miracle. Maybe one of them knows someone who knows someone who could bail them out…

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken! – 10 – Watch the Tan Lines…and the Tangents

You can’t get much past Kanamori, her business sense forged as it is in the fires of her family’s past failure. Eizouken relies almost solely on Tsubame’s fame right now…but her sock has created a tan line on her leg, and she hasn’t been taking any modelling jobs recently.

Neither Tsubame nor Midori see what the big deal is, but thankfully they have Kanamori to explain it to them: if Tsubame’s star dims, so will the Eizouken’s. She has to take on the occasional job to keep her star bright.

As if Kanamori didn’t have enough problems herding creative cats, the StuCo stops by the studio personally to drag them before a conference with the teachers, who have found out about the festival they’re attending and the Eizouken’s intentions to turn a profit.

Kanamori, head turned arrogantly skyward at all times as a sign of protest and disdain, tries her best to justify the model, but the decision has already been made by the adults. As a school club, they can attend and participate in Comet-A, but they can’t accept any payment.

In the following montage, the Eizouken carries on with their big, complex  Shibahama-funded project. As Tsubame indeed continues modelling (though her face almost betrays a certain annoyance about it), Midori churns out drawings and paintings, sounds are recorded, and all of it cataloged on the computer.

I just hope they don’t run into any technical problems wherein they lose vast chunks of work. This fortunately doesn’t seem like the kind of show to drop cheap sandbags like that. Instead, the challenge comes in Midori actually being able to craft a cohesive and satisfying story from her myriad crazy concepts, and is able to “perform” her intentions to the team they’ll need to pull it off.

One key player is Doumeki, who finds herself napping for the first time—and making amazing weapon beam noises while she’s doing it! This leads to the four comrades meeting up on bikes for a “sound hunting” trip.

Kanamori (stunting AKIRA-style) is dubious about Midori tagging along when she has so much work to do, but I’m with Midori when she says it’s a director’s job to sometimes witness the work she’d normally delegate firsthand.

Besides, the resulting trip pays more dividends than simply collecting the sounds Doumeki wanted, including the latest iteration of the town’s famous bell across the water. Like the trip to the undergound restaurant, the trip fills Midori’s head with new ideas.

Some of these ideas are unrelated and can be filed away for future projects, irking Kanamori, but still other ideas help her to connect her disparate concepts into something resembling a story. That only Midori knows what that’s shaping up to be also irks Kanamori. She wants to see concrete results, and soon.

Still, she can’t put a price on the bonding that takes place between the Eizouken members on a trip that’s equal parts work, wonder, and fun. As the sun starts to fall, Midori gets one more crazy idea about the early origins of human clockwork mechanisms, and the StuCo secretary is along for the ride.

I particularly enjoyed seeing this girl, who seems very much like Kanamori, simply sitting by the river with her, asking how she’s dealing with the new restrictions. She doesn’t seem there to gloat or shove the Eizouken’s problems in their faces. Indeed, it even brings a smile to her face to watch one of Midori’s patented flights of fancy, which again isn’t immediately related to their current project.

The secretary (whom I assumed was the president until this week) had just warned Kanamori that the school is its own world, with special protections for its students, and to leave that behind. But when they’re creating, Midori and Tsubame are in a third world, neither inside nor outside the school; a world of their making. As for Kanamori, she can handle the outside world. It’s really more a question of whether it can handle her!

P.S. As pointed out by ANN’s Zac Bertschy, the Eizouken is basically an early Studio Ghibli analog. Midori is Miyazaki (hence the beard), Tsubame is Takahata Isao, and Kanamori is Suzuki Toshio. Love it!

Eizouken ni wa Te wo Dasu na! – 02 – Tilting at the Greatest Windmills

Midori, Sayaka and Tsubame head to the faculty lounge, which is whimsically located inside a giant empty swimming pool, to make their case for an animation club. When one teacher says there’s already an anime club and that they should focus on live action, the group decides to simply say they’re starting a film club, and let the fruits of their labor redeem the white lie later. The spacey, heavily-bearded Fujimoto-sensei volunteers to be their adviser.

Their digs are essentially a two-level ramshackle storeroom built of cheap corrugated steel filled with holes that let the elements in. The place is filthy, but full of potential, at least when armed with the powerful imaginations of Midori and Tsubame, who conjure various furniture, luxuries, and equipment for creating anime.

Midori gets a bit carried away when proposing they add hinges to the roof to make it a hatch from which they can launch personal helicopters. While messing around the rusty railing gives way and she takes a one-story spill. The always-enterprising Sayaka captures the accident on camera and swiftly posts it online for sale in hopes of raising club funds.

Fujimoto later tells them the school will pay for repairs to the building, and to keep the video for themselves lest it go public and cause trouble for the school. Sayaka also makes a verbose federal case for the tightwad teacher to get him to allow them to do as they please. The trio then explores the storeroom’s underbelly and find a windmill connected to a generator. The storeroom is full of animation production equipment in decent shape.

Totally geeking out on their wheelhouse stuff, Midori and Tsubame explain the details of how one makes a series of drawings then films them to present the illusion of motion. They find a crude animation of the windmill and complete and improve upon it, adding visual flair, transforming their environment into a wondrous fantasy spectacle.

There are no accidents as a result of this flight (or rather cruise) of fancy, but that evening Sayaka gets a deposit of cash for her footage, and both Tsubame and Midori (and her family) catch footage of her fall on TV. Such a development threatens to torpedo their Eizouken dreams in their infancy, before they’re able to create a frame of finished work.

Obviously, their efforts aren’t about to be permanently shut down after just two episodes, but it will be interesting to see how they navigate the stormy waters of what I’ll inelegantly call Dealing With People Who Want To Hold Them Back. One thing’s for certain: independent those outside factors, they have the talent and means to do what they want. Now all they need is the freedom to do it.

DanMachi II – 08 – Whatever It Takes

Mikoto arrives in the midst of Bell’s beatdown at the hands of Aisha, but the latter takes her down with one strike, then continues wailing on the Little Rookie. Turns out Haruhime, donning a red cloak, is the source of Aisha’s power boost. Phryne also gets in on the game, snatching up Bell for herself and chaining him to the wall of her secret love nest.

Bell is lucky he couldn’t manage an erection, because Phryne has to leave him to find an “enhancement” medicine, allowing the one other person who knows about the dungeon—Haruhime—to sneak in and rescue him (after slipping the keys to the captured Mikoto).

Bell mentions his and Mikoto’s present efforts to buy her, for which she’s grateful to the point of tears, but it doesn’t seem like she’s interested in going anywhere or doing anything other than what was decided for her long ago: as Take tells Hestia, she’s to be sacrificed to the Killing Stone, a magical object that optimizes Renard power.

In Haruhime’s case, she’s able to provide a level boost to Aisha, but once the ritual is complete and the stone shattered, that power can be spread to many other Ishtar Amazons, giving them the offensive edge they need in a war against the more powerful-on-paper Freya Familia.

Once Haruhime gets Bell back to the Pleasure District and urges him to flee, Mikoto meets up with them, having learned about the Killing Stone thorugh books in Ishtar’s palace. Aisha also arrives, and snatches Haruhime back up. She dares Bell to do something—anything—to try to get Haruhime back, but Bell freezes. In that moment, he wavers between the desire to save her and his reluctance to get Hestia Familia tangled up in a war they can’t win.

He’s so frozen in hesitation, Mikoto has to grab his hand and run before the other Amazons can capture him. In short, this episode was a bit of a downer, as Haruhime has seemed to be a doomed character ever since her introduction. One wonders if her fate is sealed now that Bell lost his last best chance to save her, or if he can summon the same resolve Haruhime has and risk everything to challenge her death wish.

Heck, even if Bell wasn’t particularly emotionally invested in Haruhime’s fate, it just seems like a very bad idea to let Ishtar gain such a dangerous military advantage, considering she basically screws her underlings (like Aisha) into obedience. Here’s hoping for some kind of light at the end of this tunnel.

DanMachi II – 07 – Symbol of Destruction

When Hestia learns Bell went to the Pleasure District and spent all night there, she’s not happy to say the least. Still, Mikoto, Welf, and Lili pitch in on his punishment (cleaning up for the neighbors), since it was Mikoto’s fault they all ended up in the district.

As it happens, Haruhime was the renard Mikoto was looking for. Despite Haruhime’s line about being no good for a hero, he wants to help Mikoto save her. Lili warns the two that nabbing Haruhime would likely start a war they probably can’t win against Ishtar; Welf agrees.

Hermes, fresh from being ravaged by Ishtar, wants to speak to Freya, but only ends up getting the ear of Syr, who is very concerned that Ishtar somehow found out about Bell. Not that Hermes had any choice; it’s clear he’s the lesser god in that particular equation.

At the Guild, Eina is as unsettled as Hestia that Bell spent the night in the Pleasure District, but also confirms Ishtar Familia’s formidable economic and military power, telling him that many of its Amazon soldiers may be grossly underrated in the official books—not a crew to be trifled with, but we knew that.

That night, after Aisha gifts Haruhime with some candy from the Far East, Mikoto stops by to say hello, only to be rejected. Haruhime has clearly closed the book on the part of her life before she became a prostitute, so as far as she’s concerned, Mikoto is a stranger. Aisha catches the whole encounter, and if anything, looks guilty.

Mikoto fills Bell in on the details of her past with Haruhime; she and Chigusa lived in a shrine with other kids and gods; Haruhime was a noble lady, but alone. Sensing her loneliness, Mikoto led nightly raids to set Haruhime free to run and play with them.

They eventually moved to Orario to seek their fortune, but Haruhime was deceived by a “heartless person”—I’m thinking Aisha, who may not be so heartless—and sold into sexual servitude.

After a chance encounter with Hermes, he echos Lili and Welf’s worries about crossing Ishtar, but proposes an alternative: if you have enough money, you can buy a prostitute; one of Haruhime’s purportedly low status would only cost 2-3 million; a very doable fee for Mikoto and Bell.

He also mentions to them, as friends, that he delivered an artifact to Ishtar the other day called the Killing Stone, and tells them to make of that what they will. Back at Ishtar’s palace, she orders her top soliders (including her Captain, Phryne) to hunt Bell down, capture him, and bring him to her unspoiled. Once she’s done with him they can do with him what they will.

She’s also gung-ho about starting a war with Freya, so whatever Bell and Mikoto do or don’t do, a sizable war is inevitable. Eager to make the money needed to buy Haruhime quickly, Mikoto and Bell head to the dungeon to waste some beasts; Welf and Lili heard their plan and agree to help out.

Only Ishtar’s people are lying in wait, and once Bell is separated from his party, he’s scooped up and attacked…by Aisha, who seems to have gotten buffs thanks someone who looks like a disguised Haruhime. As a Level 3 going on 4, Aisha is more than a match for Bell, and soon has him on his back. Barring an unforseen miracle, it would seem Ishtar has her prey, and the perfect provocation to spur Freya to war.

Goblin Slayer – 12 (Fin) – Not Just Another Pawn

With all those adventurers fighting together and following the Slayer’s plan, the goblin army is dispatched all too easily. Just when a goblin thinks he has the upper hand with a surprise attack, he’s met by a mailed fist, arrow, or blade. Meanwhile, Goblin Slayer himself informs the Goblin “Lord” that the home he’s trying to flee to is already gone.

That being said, the Slayer is not used to one-on-one combat out in the open, and the Lord, while cowardly, is still huge, and proceeds to stomp all over the Slayer’s head. Fortunately, the Priestess arrives, casting dual protection spell planes that immobilize and crush the lord. Slayer finishes him off, and is then healed by the Priestess, who didn’t use all three of her spells for protection.

The Priestess is cross that he pushed himself too hard once more, as she learns he was only bait, and trusted her to bail him out once the lord thought he would be victorious. When the sun rises, the Slayer needs help getting back home, but the adventurers, his party members, and Cow Girl are all elated to see him in one piece.

At the guild celebration, Goblin Slayer buys everyone a drink, as he promised. The Priestess asks if she can get an extra reward: if he’ll remove his helmet for her. He does, and it causes a right commotion in the guild, many of the members of which had a placed bids on who or what would be underneath.

But more than fascinated with his face, the Priestess, the rest of his party, the other adventurers, all share one thing in common: they now consider Goblin Slayer a friend and ally, and coming to his aid isn’t a matter of luck, but obligation. They do it gladly, because if it weren’t for him they might not have a town.

Thus ends Goblin Slayer’s saga…but only for now. A post-credits announcement promises his return. He intends to start on the path of an adventurer, but I assume that doesn’t preclude him from slaying goblins; it just means he’ll be going to more far-flung places to do it. And he won’t be doing it alone.

Goblin Slayer – 11 – A Home Under Siege…Again

Note: This was originally posted under the erroneous episode number 12; it is actually episode 11.

Goblin Slayer has never been one to use many words. As Cow Girl prepares breakfast, he has only one for her: “Run.” The goblins whose prints he discovdered at the boundary of the farm are too numerous in number for him to take on alone in an open field. He suspects they’re led by a shrewed Goblin Lord, and will likely have Hobs among its forces.

But Cow Girl isn’t running; not again. The farm is her home, and if it’s doomed to be destroyed, so is she. The Slayer can’t change her mind, so he tells her he’ll figure something out. That means going to the guild, helm-in-hand (figuratively), and asking for volunteers to help him slay goblins. At first, they don’t take it seriously. Then, the Lancer tells him they’re adventurers in a guild which means, post a quest and offer a reward.

The Slayer offers everything he has and everything he is, all but his life itself, which he promised Cow Girl’s father he wouldn’t give up lest his daughter cry again. Once the elite adventuers can tell how serious he is, they name the price of a drink or two down the road. The Guild Girl offers a gold piece for every goblin slain, and all of a sudden the rank-and-file adventurers are interested too.

Bit by bit, virtually the entire guild agrees to assist the Slayer, including the Priestess and his party who now all consider him a close friend. Those who either never interacted with him or found him annoying for his singlemindedness towards goblins, all agree the guild would be lonely without him.

The Goblin Lord’s army is no joke, but with so many skilled adventerers of various skill sets now committed to his side, Slayer can really open up the playbook and utilize a strategy that will exploit the strengths of his assets and the weaknesses of the enemy.

He knows, for instance, the goblin vanguard would arrive with “meat shields”—wooden boards with captured women tied to them—and leaves it to the Dwarf Shaman and Mage to stupor and put them to sleep so the hostages can be rescued and taken out of harm’s way.

From there, the close-range warriors storm the goblin small fry, aided by archers from long range and magical boundaries to repel enemy arrows. When the goblin riders advance, the adventurers are ready with sharpened stakes.

Once the first waves fail, the Lord takes the gloves off and sends in his heavy hitters, goblin champions. But while the Slayer’s party had a big problem with one, the most experienced and powerful of adventurers are actually glad slightly more worthy foes have arrived, having spent their most recent adventures fighting enemies of their skill or above.

That just leaves the increasingly panicky Goblin Lord himself, who apparently isn’t as big or tough as his Hob underlings. While everyone else fights off his army, Goblin Slayer stalks him alone, his right eye glowing red indicating Limit Break Mode. With the close quarters of the woods resembling his preferred battleground of a cave, he should do fine.

If it weren’t for everyone agreeing to fight with him, he wouldn’t have this opportunity. And so someone who had been a loner, curiosity, and eyesore to much of the rest of the guild has evolved into their general in a glorious battle against the evil cruelty of the goblins.

Goblin Slayer – 10 – No Need to Rush

After another big battle, the Goblin Slayer and his party has earned another rest, while elsewhere, the Suzumiya Haruhi-looking Hero slays the Demon Lord with her two comrades. As usual, Goblin Slayer convalesces at the dairy farm, something for which Cow Girl is very happy and relieved.

The day before she left for the city he was mean to her, but out of jealousy, not hatred. Now, as he rests and patrols the farm, he notes that he’s forgotten the taste of his favorite stew his sister use to make for him, because it’s been so long since he’s tasted it.

The two head into town for deliveries and guild and other business. GS is uncharacteristically unarmored and his pale face are exposed for all to see, though most don’t recognize him, but simply note his physique and pastiness.

After getting his repaired armor back, GS suits up and visits some fellow adventurers who are teaching some bright-eyed youths the ropes. I couldn’t help but remember the priestess’ ill-fated party. Later, the Guild Girl remarks that even when adventurers or heroes retire, they are still alive until death, so it’s good to stay busy and pass their trade onto the next generation.

Cow Girl also finally meets GS’ party, and along with the Guild Girl they all go out for a meal, where Cow Girl, Guild Girl, and Priestess all agree GS needs to take it easier if he’s going to last till retirement age.

As his party stays in town and the Dwarf and Elf start a drinking game (a lot of Legolas and Gimli in these two) GS and Cow Girl return to the farm for the night. Cow Girl joins GS under the two full moons, and when asked he tells her he’s thinking about the future, no doubt since it came up in town.

Cow Girl hopes that GS has a future beyond slaying goblins, since everyone has their limits. But few know those limits are until they’re reached, and even fewer know what should come after that.

GS’s meticulous patrols and inspections of the farm have always been seen as overkill, with the Cow Girl’s uncle even saying he doesn’t need to do it so regularly. But I saw that as a major flag, and at episode’s end, my fears are confirmed: a mess of goblin prints at the farm’s periphery.

I imagine the GS’ future quests are on hold until those goblins are taken care of. I can’t imagine him leaving Cow Girl and her uncle alone after finding those footprints. Perhaps his friends will help him root them out.

Goblin Slayer – 09 – Mirror, Mirror, Off the Wall, Save Us from the Rocks that Fall

The giant eyeball monster was protecting a magic mirror that serves as a gate to the goblin realm. With goblins streaming to their location from every direction (but the mirror that is) Goblin Slayer comes up with a plan to deal with them.

First, the way in is barricaded to slow them down. Then Dwarf and Elf help GS attack the goblins who come as the Lizardman and Priestess dismount the mirror from the wall and point it upward. They all huddle beneath it and the Dwarf brings the entire roof of the structure down.

The resulting damage flattens all of the remaining goblins, while the rubble falls harmlessly through the mirror gate. All in all, a neat little victory, but when he reports back to the Sword Maiden, GS deduces that she knew all about what was going on down there.

She confirms that the white alligator was her familiar and that the goblins beneath the city were allowed to roam not just because she feared being seen as weak or overreacting, but to demonstrate to the people how the goblins were a serious threat, owing to her own personal torment by their grubby hands.

The Sword Maiden carries trauma the GS will never be able to save her from, but he’s always been a highly practical man, and so he bids her farewell with the promise that if she needs more goblins slain for her, he will come when summoned. Until then, he’s headed back home to make ice cream.

You heard right: the man once known only for slaying goblins intends to do something other than slay dragons. Perhaps like those anime school clubs that do more than one thing, a name change is in order: Ice Cream-Making Goblin Slayer? Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue…

Goblin Slayer – 08 – Good as New, but Still Scared to Death

Goblin Slayer is Resurrected by a miracle that requires him to share a bed with a virgin—in this case, the Priestess. While he’s out, he remembers his harsh but fair master who taught him how to slay goblins, breaking him down then putting him back together into someone who won’t freeze and do nothing, but act when action is needed…even if it kills you.

Or, in GS’ case, almost kills him. The miracle works, and we get our first look at a maskless, armor-less Slayer, although his eyes remain obscure both in flashback and present. The Sword Maiden pays him a visit (I imagine it’s her bed he and Priestess are in), but she couldn’t be the virgin the miracle needed, thanks to the Goblins.

She confides in him how even though she defeated the Demon Lord, she remains scared to death, and in need of people to help her overcome that fear. We’ll learn that that constant fear is something GS shares.

Dwarf, Elf, and Lizard reunite with GS and Priestess and they go into town for their first meal since GS went down; a meal they promised to have together. GS and Priestess then split off and head to the shops. Priestess could easily replace her damaged chainmail, but for her its sentimental value vis-a-vis GS outweighs the difficulty of repairing it. GS also acquires new weapons, since he lost them all in the ruins.

They share a sunset by the sea with a new invention called “ice creme” and after being chided earlier for being so taciturn with the Priestess, he actually opens up about that fear he once had to just take one step forward, lest the ground swallow him up. He’s still “scared to death” just like the Sword Maiden, and not amount of noble feats will change that.

What changed was what they do with that fear, and how they keep living in spite of it. In both cases, neither would still be alive were it not for a little help from their friends. Back at the farm the cow girl assures her father that despite having been gone a long time, the GS will be back.

Resurrection apparently doesn’t require much recovery time, since GS is back in action in the ruins with the rest of the party, after acquiring a mystery burlap sack from the Black Mage. Their next big foe is not a goblin, but a “creature of Chaos”: a giant eyeball with tendrils coming out of it, each tipped with more eyeballs. Whenever something enters the room where it resides it blasts it with a stone-melting energy beam.

GS knows he can’t just rush in and stab or blugeon the thing to death, so he formulates a game plan that requires the cooperation and coordination of everyone in the party. The Elf rushes in to distract the Eyeball, allowing the Dwarf to slip in and hit it with some sleep-inducing fire wine. Once GS empties the burlap sack—full of ultra-fine flour—into the room, creating a huge cloud of the stuff, the Elf shoots an arrow into the side of the eye, and then everyone retreats from the room, behind the Priestess’ Protection.

The Lizard sends a Dragontooth Warrior in, which the Eye instinctively targets and fires its beam—igniting the flour like coal dust in a mine. The resulting explosion kills the creature, without the GS using fire, water, or poison. That leaves the adventurers standing before the thing it seemed to be guarding: some kind of magic mirror.

I was a bit surprised so little time was spent without GS in the picture—the Priestess wasn’t even awake during that time—but considering the name of the show perhaps I shouldn’t have been. Not to mention this is a world of fantasy and magic in which death isn’t always irreversible. It was also good to learn a bit more about our boy, and for him to actually open up to the Priestess, who has certainly earned the right to know more, having saved him and all.

Goblin Slayer – 07 – These Things Happen

The other adventurers give their excuses for not wanting to accompany the Priestess to the baths, but she’s eventually joined by the Sword Maiden herself. She sees many small scars on her body that suggest she’s had experience dealing with goblins.

The Maiden also warns the Priestess that while Goblin Slayer is dependable, one day he’ll “disappear”, meaning she’ll have to find another strength to lean on. Sure enough, GS mails a letter to the Farm Girl; in this context it’s another death flag.

GS, armed with a canary to detect poison gas, begin mapping some ancient ruins when they find themselves suddenly trapped in a chamber and attacked with…poison gas. GS provides charcoal to filter the gas while everyone prepares for battle, and the “mastermind” of the goblins finally shows himself: a massive Goblin Champion.

The party fights well, dispatching dozens of goblins with arrow, blade, fist, rock, and bare hand. But they keep coming, and the when the Champion delivers a crippling blow to GS that sends him flying and spewing blood, the Priestess loses her concentration, the Protection field falls, and the shit well and truly hits the fan.

GS is in bad, possibly terminal shape. The Priestess pees herself and then has a chunk of her arm bitten off by the Champion. The Lizardman and Dwarf are swarmed, as is the High Elf Archer, who can’t keep the goblins from tearing her clothes off.

Finally, as he hears the screams of the Priestess, GS remembers someone mocking him for cowering and doing nothing as his mother and village were slaughtered. His hatred of those comments leads to his left eye suddenly glowing red and entering a kind of Limit Break.

Back on his feet and with a full head of steam, GS carves his way through goblins as he bull-rushes their leader, then uses the long blonde hair of a corpse to strangle him before ripping one of the Champion’s eyes out of its socket. The others free themselves from the goblins’ grasps and keep fighting; the elf unfazed by having lost her top and most all of her shorts.

They give the Lizardman time to save the Priestess’ life, and the Dwarf and Elf help GS go to her side. The Priestess apologizes for letting the Protection fall, but the GS isn’t in a prosecutory mood, saying “These things happen.” They’re his last words, as he spews one more cloud of blood and then passes out. From the reactions of all around him, and the lingering closeup of the canary’s eye (over which the credits are supposed to roll), it doesn’t seem like he’ll be getting back up any time soon.

Did the show really just kill off its title character after just seven episodes? If so, that’s a pretty bold move. Will the Priestess, Elf, Dwarf and Lizardman carry on with their adventures without him? Will someone new take up the mantle of Goblin Slayer? Or will they somehow save the current one from near-death?