Gushing over Magical Girls – 11 – Asserting Dominance

Having surprised Sister Gigant by revealing her three stars (along with most of the rest of her body), Leoparde proceeds to beat and bomb the shit out of her huge opponent in a rude profanity-laden assault.

The slime hearts are a nice touch

Even when Leoparde starts to cough up blood from overuse of her power, she’s revitalized by her boundless horniness and the promise of a hotel liason with her beloved Magia Baiser. She also uses her brain, creating cracks in the pavement beneath their battle that eventually swallow up Gigant and make her cry real tears of utter defeat.

Korisu has Lord’s slime monsters pent up in her dollhouse, but when she falls asleep, shes transforms out of her Enormita guise Matama and Nemo protect her, they’re soon surrounded. That’s when Tres Magia makes a stylish entrance, and because everyone is in street clothes they don’t recognize them as enemies. Sayo takes on the slime monsters herself and vaporizes them en masse with her nifty new powers.

Meanwhile at Macht Base, Utena is struggling in her battle with Lord Enorme, but due to lack of motivation and boredom with her schtick. Noting that Lord talks about world domination like a kid, she starts to visualize her as a little brat, and suddenly all her accumulated wounds are healed and she reveals a new, even gaudier form, with what looks like eight star tattoos on her face to Lord’s mere four.

By the time Matama and Nemo arrive with a still-tuckered-out Korisu and a heavily bandaged Kiwi, Utena has things well in hand. She turns Lord’s own slime monsters against her, uses them as restraints, then tears off Lord’s clothes starts giving her a spanking. It’s no longer a battle, it’s punishment for Lord’s misdeeds. Lord begs her former allies to help her, but they want no part of what this particularly unhinged version of Baiser is dishing out, thanks!

After sufficient humiliation has been doled out, Utena finally gets a tearful, blubbering apology from Lord Enorme, who seems to have been relieved of three of her four stars. Turns out Venalita let her borrow the other three all along unlike everyone else, who gets their power from within. But her use to Vena has come to an end, so he has Gigant, who was working for him all along, finish Lord off, which presumably means death.

All’s well that ends well. Kiwi is eager to get her hotel date with Utena started as soon as possible, despite being in no condition for any kind of physical exertion. She even looks Matama and Nemo’s way as if inviting them to get a room themselves; they respond by blushing in unison. Korisu clearly looks like she could nap for days.

As for Utena, Venalita makes her the new Supreme Commander of Enormita, and her response is very Utena-y. Apparently Lord Enorme going rogue was all part of Vena’s plan to make the other girls more powerful, and it appears to have succeeded. The question for the final two episodes of this bonkers show is where Utena and her friends go from here.

Gushing over Magical Girls – 10 – Matchmaker Baiser

Even when they were small, Matama always loved to sing, and Nemo hid in the shadows. No one would listen to Matama, and no one would play with Nemo. They essentially became friends because no one else would have them and it worked out for both of them. Now that Matama has decided she’s joining Utena, Nemo ends up following her, because why split up now?

Utena is ready to welcome them with open arms, but they first have to be “purified” of the sin of hunting all those poor magical girls. She traps the pair in a soundproof, shadow-proof dollhouse labeled “The room you can’t leave until you satisfy Magia Baiser.” Utena notes their constant bickering (which they continued here) is a sign of their close friendship, but is certain it goes much deeper than that.

She orders Matama and Nemo to fully explore those depths of their unspoken love, starting with a simple kiss. The girls don’t really put up much of a fight, and not just because they’re trapped. Needless to say, things get quite a bit nuder, hotter, and heavier. It occurs to Nemo that she might’ve always loved Matama like this, as they proceed to go at it with gusto.

Utena watches the whole thing go down and is well and truly satisfied. As a result, the girls are freed from the dollhouse and end up still entangled on the ground, but now fully clothed, before a somewhat confused Kiwi and Korisu. Now that they’ve completed the task Utena set for them, they are now officially allies.

But the fact remains, the four-star Lord Enorme and three-star Sister Gigant are still formidable foes against the two-star Baiser, three-star Neroalice, and zero-star Leoparde. When Lord launches an attack on the town, the girls are overwhelmed by her globular soldiers, who are an extension of Enorme’s power and will only fully disperse if she’s defeated.

Even with Leberblume and Loco Musica on their side, it’s a tough fight, and there’s a point where I was worried Kiwi, tired of being told how weak she is, was going to sacrifice herself for Baiser. Turns out she was hiding the fact that she’s actually a three-star, and thus on equal footing with Gigant.

That leaves Utena free to head to Macht Base to do battle against Lord Enorme, who to this point has been fully clothed, but likely won’t remain so once up against Magia Baiser. And then theres the matter of Sayo continuing to train. Will she finally be a match for Enormita when they return to town?

Gushing over Magical Girls – 09 – Out of the Shadows

This week Tres Magia is reduced to bookends, content to train in the wilderness. That said, when she tries to meditate under a waterfall, Sayo only ends up getting turned on by the weight of the water and how wet she’s getting. When the trio bathe together, she covers up her breasts, still remembering what a Dollhouse-influenced Kaoruko did to them. Will these three end up strong enough to take on Enormita? We’ll see!

For now, Enormita is busy fighting the Lord Squad, but first we’re introduced to the sisterly bickering of Loco Musica and Leberblume, who is treating her back wounds from Lord Enorme’s whipping. Loco is eager to get back on stage, partly to lure Enormita girls into a battle, and partly because she truly believes she has the makings of a top idol.

Loco Musica’s next show is Utena’s first opportunity to hear her, and Kiwi isn’t surprised by her reaction. Loco is also playing for a crowd of seeming fans, though something is a bit off. It’s a nice touch that they’re just as out of tune as Loco is, but when Leberblume reveals she has the power to use shadows to control people, it’s clear the crowd is under her influence. Leberblume also features my favorite outfit, showing none of her front and back, but all of her sides.

Utena and Kiwi also end up under her control, but Magia Baiser has a plan. The mortal enemy of shadows being light, she uses Kiwi as bait to lure Leber in, then Kiwi releases a flash grenade. In Leber’s moments of blindness, Neroalice traps her in a darkened dollhouse. Utena threatens to smash the house unless Loco strips and performs naked.

At first, Loco is hesitant and embarrassed, but once she actually starts singing, everyone is shocked to find she can actually carry a tune, as if the discomfort (or comfort?) of being in her birthday suit unlocks the talent she always believed she had, but never demonstrated. She also gets rather hot and bothered by the thrill of performing nude, and when she finishes and Baiser, Leopard, and Neroalice offer their enthusiastic (and genuine) applause, she accepts that his battle is her loss.

With their defeat, both Loco and Leber’s identities are revealed as Akoya Matama and Anemo Nemo. Surprising everyone, including her longtime partner, Matama declares that they’ll be (re-)joining Enormita, and will henceforth be their allies against Lord Enorme and Sister Gigant.

I like the twist because it makes sense: Nemo doesn’t want to be stripped and whipped by Enorme, while Matama is indebted to Baiser & Co. for her true idol awakening. Does this mean next time Tres Magia shows up, it will be five against three … or will Enorme and Gigant team up with the good guys to even the odds?

Tales of Wedding Rings – 06 – Risks and Rewards

Satou wakes up to find Nef in bed with him. She’s there to assure him that his role as Ring King is simply to obtain the rings, and if he can do so without being acknowledged by Granart, that’s okay. He thanks her and gets up to prepare for his training, not so much as giving her a kiss. Meanwhile, Hime overhears catwomen talking about Granart letting the Ring King scrub her body, something she’s not that comfortable hearing.

That’s because while she knows Satou has to gain the Fire Ring and marry Granart in order to defeat the Abyss King, she thinks it’s dumb for him to insist on defeating her in single combat. He wants to do it anyway because he doesn’t want to be looked on as weak or lacking, but his duel with Granart is interrupted by the Abyss Knight, who is possessing a previous suitor’s body.

When the knight summons Abyss monsters, the capable catpeople show off their warrior skills, having never stopped training since the last Abyss war. Granart, however, has more trouble against the knight. Satou insists on helping, not just because she needs the help, but because he wants to show her he’s not as helpless as she thinks. He’s able to get in close enough to use the Wind Ring to blow away the knight’s flames, allowing Granart to disarm him.

Satou strikes the final blow with his Light Ring-enhanced sword, and the crisis is averted. At this point, Granart is impressed enough with Satou and his potential to acknowledge him without a duel between them. But that’s not good enough for Satou.

Hime continues to watch silently, but Nef asks her to cheer for Satou, since he’s doing this for her sake. He confirms this by saying he wants to defeat Granart so he’ll look cool in front of his “most beloved wife.” Hime cheers him on by offering to have sex with him if he wins.

That does the trick, as Satou hears the voices of the Rings inside his head for the first time. Amused by his motivation, they agree to help him out with this fight, without him using the power of the princesses. Just for a moment, he’s able to predict her movement, which is all he needs to get her on the ground. Not only does Granart yield, but she’s so happy to have been defeated by a suitor she’s ready to start babymaking immediately.

Of course, Satou isn’t going to do this. For one thing, he has a “prior engagement.” He and Hime go to the bedroom, but just as they’re about to begin, he falls asleep, exhausted from all the battling he’d just done. Oh well!

When he wakes up with a nude Hime beside him, she jokes by saying he was “amazing yesterday”, but then Nef (also nude) pops up from under the covers to assure him that nothing happened. Granart (also nude) is ready to go too, but all this is interrupted by her attendants announcing that the banquet is ready.

At the banquet, Satou sits surrounded by his three wives. Granart tells him she was happy he wanted to make her acknowledge him rather than compromise. Hime remains uncomfortable, and decides to down a whole cup of wine. Satou takes her back to the bedroom, where she feels they have unfinished business.

But that’s when Satou tells her he’s waiting until they return to his world to take the next step with her “properly.” This comes as a bit of a surprise, since it might be some time before they’re able to do that. Heck, there are two more princesses he needs rings from. Not only that, but Granart (and Nef) both want to sleep with Satou too; not that he would even if he and Hime did it.

In any case, it looks like for the duration of his stay in Hime’s world, he’ll be abstaining from doing the nasty. Considering the situations he’s been in just this week (catnip?!) and is sure to end up in later, preserving his chastity might just end up being more difficult than defeating the Abyss King.

Tales of Wedding Rings – 05 – Courting the Cat Princess

Hime is in bed with Satou, about to finally consummate their marriage, only to suddenly be swapped out for Nef! It’s only a dream, borne out of the very understandable feelings of anxiety and jealousy that arise when, say, the man you love marries a second woman. Not helping to allay this anxiety is the fact Satou has been very attentive and doting towards Nef since she started traveling with them.

Alabaster suggests they head to the kingdom of the Water Princess, but their next destination rolls up on them instead: the nation of Needakitta, which is a massive caravan of a capital. While I’m not sure about the spacial relationships depicted—being deep in the forest one minute and on an open road large enough to accommodate a mobile city—it’s definitely a cool concept.

Alabaster isn’t the only one who knows about the warrior cat-people who inhabit Needakitta: Nef knows a lot about a lot of peoples and places, because she’s so well-read. And while she’s initially spooked by the rope ladder they must climb to gain access, she soon gets so excited about all the sights that she gets separated from the others.

Fortunately, Hime is right there beside her, and the cat warriors are a lot nicer than they thought. While enjoying the Needakitta equivalent of crepes with what look like bean sprouts with faces, Hime wipes some Nef’s face, and Nef admits that Hime and Satou are so kind she’s come to think of them as her surrogate parents.

Not just well-read but also emotionally intelligent, Nef also apologizes for hogging Satou’s attention lately. Hime can shrug it off all she wants, but Nef knows it affects Hime because of the depth of her bond with Satou. Nef doesn’t feel anything close to that depth of feeling for Satou, at least not yet, and wonders if that will hamper him as the Ring King.

As for the Maiden of the Fire Ring, she’s the stunningly strong and beautiful Granart Needakitta. After she’s beaten every man (and maybe a few women) in the mobile capital, she’s been accepting challengers from all races and nations. As soon as she spots Satou’s rings she charges him and he’s defeated instantly. But Granart is magnanimous enough to allow him to try again another day.

In order to prepare for his next bout with the Fire Princess, Satou must do his best to get stronger. However, while a quick learner, he’s rather rubbish at the sword (a pity he never did kendo at school), as he’s unable to beat Marse, who admits he wouldn’t even be able to beat Granart. He got by wildly hacking at Abyss monsters, but that won’t work against a skilled swordsman.

While Satou is resting before his magic lessons with Al, Hime has him rest his head in her lap to motivate him, while Nef watches from a hiding spot. She also tells him that it’s fine with her if he’s not the strongest human being in this world. The Satou she loves because of his weaknesses as much as his strengths, and she feels it only right for him to be “a little uncool.”

Satou doesn’t want to settle for being too weak, as evidenced when Granart offers to throw her next match while he’s giving her a impromptu massage. Satou wants to win fair and square, if not with his woeful swordsmanship, than with the Rings of Light and Wind. Just as he was able to defeat a knight of the Abyss King with Hime and Nef’s power, he should be able to handle Granart.

Gushing over Magical Girls – 05 – Down the Rabbit Hole

When we meet Korisu Morino, she’s chilling in a dark alley in the middle of the night, which is an immediate red flag. Is she a homeless orphan? Her clothes are too clean! Then she meets Venalita, who asks her if she wants to join Enormita, and when next we see her she’s meeting Utena and Kiwi. Utena is in awe of her cuteness, while also assuring Kiwi she’s extremely cute too.

After she transforms into her evil magical girl form, which is an ornate Alice in Wonderland outfit complete with oversized watch, Vena deploys the trio into the field to demonstrate Korisu’s ability. Tres Magia, or specifically Magenta, is easily led right into a trap by a tattered stuffed animal, much to the bad-tempered Sulphur’s chagrin.

Once they’re shut into a closed room, suddenly Sayo is being attacked by her own comrades. Haruka cross-dresses and plays the role of a suave husband, while Kaoruko dons a bonnet, acts like a baby and starts suckling at Sayo’s breast. The setting changes to a hot spring, their clothes are gone, and they’re locked in a steamy threesome.

This is Korisu’s power: once she’s trapped someone in her magic dollhouse, they become her playthings to do with what she pleases. Judging from what goes down, I agree with Utena that she may just be the most depraved of the three Enormita girls. Her power doesn’t last long, and Tres Magia are soon released from the dollhouse, but they aren’t likely to forget what they just did to each other.

Another day, Kiwi invites her and Utena to Korisu’s house, where they find an ominous note from her mother with money for food. My mind went to a dark place: How long has that note been there? Did her mother leave for work and never return?

The neat and tidy state of the place suggests no, but it’s clear before Utena and Kiwi entered her life, Korisu’s only friends were her dolls and toys, many of which are in pretty bad shape. Utena actually shows there’s still a good girl within her when she stays up all night mending Korisu’s favorite doll.

When she returns the mended doll to Korisu, Utena is suffering from what seems to be a pretty bad cold. Korisu then uses her powers to place Utena in a hospital dollhouse, where an adult Korisu appears as a sexy nurse, has Utena partially undress, then applies some kind of ointment to her.

The camera perhaps wisely cuts away shortly after Korisu produces a plastic syringe filled with the ointment, and seems to be moving it further down Utena’s body. But as strange as this whole incident is, it ends with Utena declaring her cold is gone!

The next day, Kiwi is upset that she didn’t get to nurse an ill Utena back to health, but also considers that she could use Korisu’s powers to turn Utena into a helpless “wittle baby.” It’s at this point that Korisu traps Kiwi in a prison dollhouse (i.e. horny jail), which indicates that Korisu will be the sole person deciding how Korisu uses her powers.

When Korisu’s mom finally shows herself, returning home with some groceries, I breathed a sigh of relief. Her mom can also tell Korisu’s in a good mood, which she correctly chalks up to her finally making some friends. If she only knew what she and her friends got up to…

Gushing over Magical Girls – 04 – The Naked Truth

Utena’s constant tilts against Tres Magia (most recently an aerial slime-fest) are having a negative impact on her grades. She was probably never top-ranked in academics, but now she’s simpy too horny to study properly, even if she had the time. Her mom threatens to throw out all her magical girl stuff if she fails a make-up test.

Yet even though Utena fully intends to go home and study, she spots Magenta with a crowd of admirers and surrounded by signs practically begging Magia Baiser to attack her. Utena can’t resist, and ends up using a swarm of scissor monsters to slash away all of Magenta’s clothes, scandalizing the witnesses.

While she made the interaction brief, Utena can’t get naked Magenta out of her head. Venalita also remarks that he’s observed her not studying and simply looking at BDSM magazines, so she might as well head back out for another Tres Magia fix. He also implies he’ll leave the mags out for Utena’s mom to find if she doesn’t.

Utena does the exact same thing to Magenta, but this time, Megenta is wearing pasties on her breasts and crotch. For a little while, at least, she doesn’t display any embarrassment, as the “important bits” are covered. Her resolve falters when some of her fans start snapping picks, but she tries to fight through it, resulting in her ending up on top of Utena, whose nose is bleeding profusely.

When Sayo and Kaoruko find Magenta in this state, Sayo is extremely curious to know what exactly Baiser did to her and how horrible it was, which suggests she’s somewhat upset she missed out on the action and has come to actually enjoy Baiser’s treatment. Kaoruko seems to be picking up on this too.

The fact that Azure is becoming less and less effective in battle and Magenta is resorting to near-nudity to fight Baiser speaks to how Venalita and Enormita seem to be winning the war to corrupt Tres Magia. Haruka isn’t even sure Baiser is trying to defeat them, since every time she has them where she wants them she flees into her dark portal.

The third Tres Magia member, the foul-mouthed Kaoruko, isn’t the goody-two-shoes her partners are. If anything, she’d make a more appropriate bad guy! That much is clear when Haruka invites Utena to join them for lunch and Kiwi explodes, accuses her of trying to steal Utena.

Kaoruko provokes Kiwi into a nasty bout of trash talk that makes everyone else uncomfortable. It’s incidents like these that make it very hard to suspend disbelief these five aren’t at least little aware of their magical alter egos.

We also see that Kaoruko hates all of the PR stuff like photo shoots Tres Magia has to do, booked by their good Kyuubey, Vatz. Her smiles in these shots are forced, because to tell it like she would, she’s fuckin’ frustrated with Baiser and Leo continually splitting before finishing what they started. When a civilian accidentally backs their car into one of the magical barrier devices at the studio, Baiser and Leo are there once more.

We learn from Vatz that Venalita was once good but went to the dark side. Kaoruko uses her own barrier magic to deflect Leo’s bombardment, and when Vatz tells her the sponsors won’t like her using her fists, Kaoruko’s response is delicious and very un-magical girl-like: “Who gives a fuck about our sponsors?!”

Kaoruko wants a knock-down, drag out fight, so she unleashes her giant fists and lets the baddies have it. Much to her delight, Baiser being attacked and having bits of her outfit torn off only seems to make her happier and more excited to wipe the smug look off Sulfur’s face. Sulfur’s reply is basically “Bring it, bitch!”

In the end, Baiser and Leo gain the upper hand in the battle and flee once more. But Sayo (who was once again strung up by vines), Kaoruko, and even Haruka all have a look of satisfaction. Kaoruko got the fight she wanted for once, and is no doubt looking forward to the next one. Thanks to Kiwi being a straight-A student and helping Utena scrape by in her make-up test, she’ll get that next fight soon.

Hyakkano – 07 – Love is the Drug

Rentarou has a horny girlfriend in Hakari, a tsundere in Karane, a shy bookworm in Shizuka, and a logical, cool beauty in Nano. We’ve seen her in the OP and ED, and this week it’s finally time to introduce Soulmate #5: the eccentric chemistry buff, Yakuzan Kusuri. He’s being led down the hall by the others when he and Kusuri happen to lock eyes in passing.

However, their formal introduction isn’t without a few bumps, as he initially made eye contact with a voluptuous beauty, and when he visits the chemistry lab he finds cute tiny girl akin to Shizuka instead. We soon learn that while Kusuri loves Rentaro, drugs are a close second, as evidenced when she has him drink a drug that magnetizes him.

She drinks the opposite polarity magnet drug and ends up sticking to him, which is when Rentarou learns something else: due to her obsession with experimentation, Kusuri abhors wasting time leaving the lab to use the restroom…so she wears diapers.

When the magnetization wears off, Kusuri shows Rentarou a number of other colorful drugs, then confesses to him and asks to go out with him. When he starts wretching into the sink she’s crestfallen, but he clarifies that he doesn’t want to be under the influence of drugs when he accepts her feelings.

That said, in addition to the magnet drug, his tea contained a love drug, which affects him adversely and causes Bocchi-like convulsions. Thinking fast, Kusuri takes the neutralizing drug into her mouth then administers it to him with a kiss.

He recovers, but to Kusuri’s shock he still seems to be infatuated with her, turning them both beet red. She prostrates herself and again asks to go out with him, but both hair and body start to grow until she take on the busty form of the woman he first saw. Naturally, they’re one and the same.

The neutralization drug also cancelled out the failed immortality drug she takes to shrink to a smaller size, shorter hair, and improves her vision, which makes her lab work easier. Rentaro learns that she’s actually a third-year and thus his senpai. But now that he knows this is the girl he locked eyes with, he officially accepts her as his new girlfriend.

If Kusuri has a problem being one of Rentarou’s five girlfriends, she doesn’t bring it up, and the others are used to this by now, so she’s cordially welcomed. She’s even brought personalized drugs for her new polycule partners. Talk of a bust-enhancing drug angers Karane until she hears how Rentarou described her to Kusuri (slender, beautiful, cute and shy).

When given a “hot stuff” drug, Hakari imagines her already ample bosom and bum growing to absurd size (with visuals akin a similar scenario in the 2000 horror film Faust: Love of the Damned of all things) but instead the drug makes her skin literally hot—so hot it melts off her clothes and underwear. As Kusuri puts it, nothing’s hotter than your birthday suit.

Rentarou comes to the rescue with his used P.E. uniform, the smell of which Hakari enjoys a bit too much (though she still rocks the bell out of it). Thinking of her love of fiction, Kusuri provides Shizuka a drug that gives her fantasy bunny ears that are sensitive in a specific way Rentarou doesn’t fully grasp.

Nano takes a drug that lengthens her hair and make sit prehensile, allowing her to grab Rentarou and draw him close with a kiss. She has other doses, but warns a side effect is baldness. Rentarou will love Nano with or without hair, but admits he loves her hair too, so Nano ditches the extra doses, in an instance of logic giving way to love.

Once all the drugs wear off, the newly-formed sextet some afternoon tea. Kusuri provided to different kinds for Rentarou and the others, but when he insists she go to the bathroom when she has a call of nature, she trusts them not to get them mixed up.

However, while she assumed the girls would consider the slender, “chic” red Thermos their tea, they pick the “utilitarian” blue Thermos because it’s bigger and there are more of them. So when she returns, the other four girls end up sipping tea meant for Rentarou.

This isn’t just a different blend: it’s a potion that was intended to give Rentarou an uncontrollable urge to kiss her. As the girls turn feral one by one, she further explains that it’s not meant for girls, and turns them into vicious “kiss zombies” with superhuman strength and speed.

When all hell starts breaking loose, Kusuri is again crestfallen, thinking it’s happening again … I’m screwing everything up. We see a flashback to everyone in her chem club eventually abandoning her, likely due to her eccentricity. But what she’ll come to learn is that everyone in this group is weird in their own way, and once you’re Rentarou’s girlfriend, he’ll never let you go.

The task before him and Kusuri is to administer the neutralizing drug to all four girls within one hour. If they don’t, they’ll be in this kiss-ravenous frenzy for the rest of their days. The episode ends on a cliffhanger and postcard memory, but I think I already know the solution: Rentarou simply has to have a mouthful of neutralizing drug for when each of the girls inevitably kisses him.

Kusuri marks yet another stretch into heightened reality and absurdity, as her drugs are essentially magic potions. That said, she’s not simply kooky comic relief, as I empathized with her desire to share her passion with others and avoiding loneliness, and her love for Rentarou (and his for her) is as genuine and endearing as everyone else’s.

The question is, will we proceed with just these five girlfriends for the remainder of the cour, or will the show switch up the OP and ED and introduce a sixth, seventh, or more? There are ninety-five soulmates to go, after all!

Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead – 08 – The Beautiful Nippon

Akira, Shizuka, and Kencho are back on the road to Akira’s folks when they come across a wrecked truck on the road, surounded by zombies. Without hesitation, Akira dons his Akirager costume to rescue the survivors, but they, or rather she doesn’t need help. She’s a one-woman zombie-killing matching, resplendent in full samurai regalia. She is Beatrix Amerhauser, German national and lover of All Things Japan.

Beatrix had the awful luck to work her whole adult life to save up enough to visit Japan and experience all she has to offer just when the pandemic broke out. So while she may not have an official list (at least on paper; it’s probably in her head) she’s determined to experience “the Beautiful Nippon” all the same.

That includes having a fancy sushi dinner, hence the truck: she was transporting fresh fish to a sushi chef in Takasaki City. Akira is the first to agree to help, as he wants sushi too, and Kencho and Shizuka go along. But while they have a nifty little plan in place to herd and burn as many zombies as they can, the matches they have don’t work.

As the zombies swarm and draw closer to their precious RV, Beatrix has a momentary crisis of confidence. But Akira snaps her out of it by leading by example—that is, running headlong into danger as usual. Shizuka and Kencho back up their close-range fighting by preparing Molotov cocktails that mop up the zombies. The sushi chef, still alive, treats the quartet to the best sushi dinner of their lives, and it’s enough to make Beatrix weep.

After the great Japanese tradition of sushi, the four continue their road trip, but when a classic Japanese heat wave makes them hot and sticky, they seek out the invigorating waters of a hot spring town. Beatrix finds the ladies’ kimonos aren’t generously proportioned enough to hold her Teutonic bust, so she wears the same robe as the guys.

Akira, realizing that he and Kencho are with two cute babes, comments that under normal circumstances this would be a great spot for a date. That’s when the Shizuka of old comes out, decrying love and romance as wastes of time and resources. She’s also scandalized at the prospect of sharing the only working hot bath with the guys, but Beatrix casts away her clothes in preparation to join them without fear or shame.

When a horde of amphibious zombies emerge from beneath the water, the four have to make a run for it, seeking refuge atop a nearby bluff. That night, Akira wanders off to find a drink of water and comes upon a picturesque natural mountain hot spring. He disrobes and dives in, only to find a nude Shizuka is already there.

They agree to stay on their respective sides of the rock and Akira promises not to peek, and they’re eventually able to relax. Shizuka even apologizes for snapping at him about love before; she tells him after a lifetime of having her opinions shot down by her awful father, hearing and accepting the opinions of others doesn’t come easy.

She continues to say she’s “bad at romance” and tries to act tough by saying she only needs her job, but in reality she’s afraid of being hurt. When Akira points out she’s being very open, she says if she does ever fall in love with someone, she hopes it’s with someone she can be this open with.

She then realizes how that must sound to Akira, but before she can qualify, the two are interrupted by the arrival of a naked Kencho and Beatrix, ready to join the party. Seeing the quartet promised by the OP and ED finally completed is quite simply fun as hell, Beatrix is a great new addition, and Shizuka x Akura is definitely ship-worthy. It’s a shame we’ll have to wait a bit for the last three episodes to air.

Shin no Nakama – 06 – The Champions of Here

Red is making a routine delivery to Dr. Newman when the two of them suddenly hear someone freaking out. They discover one of their neighbors has overdosed on that recently approved drug that has become popular as a narcotic. These opening events, and an episode title like “The Rampage Begins”, portend a not-so-quiet slice of Red and Rit’s quiet life.

…Or so you’d think. Instead, these suddenly unpleasant events don’t suddenly take over their lives. They still find time for a leisurely omelette lunch, or a day by the river in their swimsuits. They even share their first kiss. Investigating drug crime is not their job, and they’re fine with that. Their job is to stock the necessary ingredients to counteract the drug, and take it easy.

I’ve been a steady defender of both Red and Rit’s individual freedom to live their lives how they see fit…but neither of them is The Hero. I’ll admit to seeming a bit dismissive of Ruti’s fate, but I wish to dispel that right here and now by declaring her the show’s most tragic figure.

Ruti’s Hero’s Blessing is more of a curse, overriding her life 95% of the time. The rest of the time, she’s just a lonesome young woman who loves and misses her brother, and is crushed by the weight of a duty she never asked for.

I felt bad enough last week when we learned she can’t even sleep at night. This week we learn she’s resistant to nice weather as well as bad, and never gets hungry and so doesn’t eat food. I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t have a sense of taste…being a hero in this world means being anhedonic.

When a bloodied and maimed man suddenly rushes into the apothecary, Red treats him while Rit heads into town to see what’s going on. Turns out it’s nothing good: a number of members of Albert’s party are apparently tweaking out on that drug, which has turned them into rampaging killers.

Rit is content to knock them all out, but Albert kills them with bolts from his crossbow, then nonchalantly apologizes if his party members inconvenienced her from her slow life with her “fiancé”. Rit seems ready to fight, but then suddenly drops her twin blades—something she says is a ritual to “douse” her blessing’s urge to attack.

Possessed of Blessings far less intense than Rutis, Red and Rit are able to maintain their quiet cozy days, but Zoltan seems primed for a major drug and violence epidemic. Red’s ability to produce healing medicines will be key, while Rit may have to use a lot more of her Blessing’s skills than she’d liked in order to maintain peace. The two of them are two talented to sit on the sidelines for long if shit really hits the fan in the village.

As if to herald the figurative storm for which this week seemed like the uneasy calm that always comes before, there’s a literal storm that requires Red and Rit to close up the house shutters and prepare for a long night of rain and thunder. That preparation includes a cup of warm milk and honey Red serves Rit as a calming and sleeping aid.

It’s something Red once made for his sister Ruti when she was little. In a flashback to a similar big storm, we see that even as a young girl Ruti was already exhibiting the qualities of an unfeeling hero, even though it’s clear in her words and actions that she adored her big brother. It’s heartbreaking to watch Red (well, Gideon back then) explain the concept of emotions like happiness and affection and why he thanked her for saying she loved him.

Ruti knows the words, and maybe deep down feels the feelings, but her Blessing is constantly tamping them down. It’s why, in the present, Ruti laments in her own way that she can’t go to where her brother is, even though she once asked him to promise never to leave her. Because she’s the Hero.

Shin no Nakama – 05 – For Their Own Sake

Red and Rit are leisurely preparing to open the shop for the day when a brace of bigwigs from different guilds arrive unannounced, demanding to see Rit. Red says “Uh, no, you can see her when we open”. Realizing there’s nothing else they can do, they agree to wait. I love this. After years of carrying the weight of a party and a kingdom, respectively, Red and Rit aren’t here for anyone but each other.

Rit eventually goes out to speak with the bigwigs, who want her to go back to adventuring, but she tells them she’s signed a lifetime employment contract with Red’s apothecary. He overhears this, and figures it’s the perfect time to give her a gift: an amber bracelet.

This is after a Thieves Guild rep offers him a valuable Elven coin in exchange for Rit, which he obviously refuses. When he asks what her favorite gemstone is, she basically says whatever gemstone he gives her. Fool, you wanna be putting a ring on it!

While minding the store, Rit just revels in the fact she had no idea she’d be working there and living with Red, whom she once knew as Gideon. That takes us to another flashback to when she first met his very good friend—his very tall, very pretty good friend—Yalandrala, and is threatened by her flirting with Gideon as they traverse a forbidden forest they can only cross with Yal and the blessing that allows her to speak to the plants.

Yal can tell what’s going on even before Rit starts with the tsundereing, so she takes her aside to a crisp, cool forest spring for some bathing and a heart-to-heart. There, Yal tells Rit that because she’s a high elf who will live a much longer life, she’s decided not to fall for any humans (a mistake she already said she made once). But it’s clear to her that Rit is crazy about Gideon, and Yal cares about him too, so she’s glad such a nice person has fallen for him.

Even then, Yalandrala wanted Gideon to live his life for his own sake, knowing as only she, Rit, and few others know how far his power goes beyond his blessing and skills. And make no mistake, he’s fully in charge of the party, how it’s going to do things and when.

Ruti may have final sway as the Hero, but she also understands her brother’s power and defers to him. And though Gideon has Rit accompany her to fight the goblins, Ruti quickly demonstrates that in such a situation she’s all she’s got, she’s all she needs.

When the party is reunited, Ruti is the first one to hug Gideon, and Rit decides that she doesn’t want to take him away from her, seeing as how she’s the Hero they’re all depending on. But as fortune would have it, Ares kicked him out of the party, which has led to her and now-Red living and working together in pure bliss.

When a sketchy adventurer who thinks he knows her “weakness” threatens to tell Loggervia she’s in this village slacking off, she basically shrugs and says “go ahead.” She doesn’t care about her social standing in Loggervia. She’s where she wants to be, doing what she wants. This guy can’t touch her.

Because she’s happy here, with Red, each living for their own and each other’s sakes. They’ve earned it! I’m happy for them, and even happier they’re able to swat away possible wrenches in their works so easily this week. That said, we get a flashback to when Ruti learned that her brother had left the party. She learns this from Ares, who intends to take Gideon’s place.

When Ruti suspects that Ares did something to Gideon to make him leave, she puts her arm through his chest, killing him in a spray of blood and gore. Of course, since she’s the Hero, she can revive him in a second, but I’d like to think this was the moment Ares realized he was way out of his depth. Not only because he’s not half the adventurer Red is, but because he tried to play fast and loose with the goddamn Hero. 

The greatest threat to Red and Rit’s blissful quiet life isn’t threats or blackmail from random adventurers or thieves, but the possibility his sister can’t be the Hero she needs to be without him in the party.

Shin no Nakama – 04 – No Mead to Be Shy

Rit and Red sleep in the same room, and even if Rit isn’t letting her bust pop out on purpose, she certainly doesn’t mind if Red sees it. We’re talking about someone who is probably still a bit disappointed he didn’t go for a double bed! Running an apothecary shop and living with a princess isn’t remotely the life Red thought he’d be living, but he’s pretty satisfied.

One day, Zoltan’s adventuring party stops by, shocked and appalled that Rit is working there. While she goes out to buy mead, which she was simply craving, the toughest of those adventurers shows up, the B-ranked Albert. Al suspects Red killed the owlbear with his bronze sword, and wanted to ask him to join his party. But soon after he draws his sword Rit bursts in, shatters his sword with one strike, and is fully ready to kill him, were it not for Red telling her to stop.

After seeing just how ready, willing, and able Rit is of protecting Red (even though he probably doesn’t need it, as he’d just prefer to hide his true ability) it’s nice to see the two kick back and have a simple supper that goes well with mead. That’s right, before all that Jack Daniels Honey nonsense, people made wine out of honey. Still do…and it’s delicious! In any case, this episode is full of wonderful relaxing cozy slice-of-life-ness.

After talk of installing a bathtub big enough for two, Red invites Rit to his go-to sauna, which we learn is in trouble after a big fancy public bathhouse was built further in town. Red, Gonze, Nao, and Storm, not to mention Rit, love the place, so Red devises a feature that will draw more customers: a potpourri bag that infuses the steam with therapeutic vapors. His reward for his ingenuity? Getting to share the sauna with Rit and Nao, the latter of whom laughs out loud at how bashful Red and Rit are.

After saying goodbye to their elven friends, Red and Rit stroll around in the lovely sunset. Rit tells Red why she wanted mead; because it’s tradition in her homeland for a married couple to take time off and spend it together doing nothing but drinking mead (and presumably consummating the marriage). Red and Rit may not be officially married, but they make a hell of a good match, both feel fulfilled in their lives, and both are crazy about each other. So it’s near as makes no difference!

Mother of the Goddess’ Dormitory – 01 (First Impressions) – Undress of Grievances

Nagumo Koushi is a 12-year-old sixth grader who is abandoned by his father after their house burns down. He’s wandering the streets starving to death when a green-haired beauty takes pity on him and welcomes him into her college dorm, which is full of beauties, almost none of whom have any qualms about waltzing around with nothing or next to nothing on.

This is a notorious “problem dorm”, which means these college students are generally ostracized by their peers. I can’t really blame them, considering some of their conduct with a 12-year-old kid. I’ll never be too old for anime, but I believe I have gotten too old for this particular brand of nonsense.

It’s a shame, because a lot of the fanservice and voice work is pretty well done, and there are moments of actual emotional resonance…but yeah, I’m just not feeling this one.