Oresuki – 07 – An Unexpected Side

This week is, as Pansy calls it while breaking the fourth wall, a “totally original swimsuit episode.” Having already befriended his “forever 17” mom Laurier, Joro finds her in his living room, ready for a day of fun at the pool with the others. The episode checks all the boxes when it comes to vertically panning swimsuits, but while boobs come up often, they’re never compared, either by Joro or among the girls, a refreshing departure from the norm.

While in line for drinks, Joro encounters the queen bee from his school, but for whatever reason, doesn’t recognize her (I guess he has anime-vision, so the fact her hair is up is enough). In a very roundabout rhetorical way, she asks how “a friend” (really she) can properly make it up to “someone” (really him) for what was done to them (as a result of the false article).

At first she’s unsatisfied with his “flip” answer that a simple apology will do, but when she directly asks what he would ask of such a girl, he maintains an sincere apology would be enough. If she feels bad enough that it bothers her that an apology is enough, the sincerity will shine through.

Once Joro rejoins his friends, the girls all try to claim Joro for themselves for an activity, then decide to turn it into a competition to determine with whom he’ll have the most fun. Dark Joro can’t help but revel at the present scenario—three girls are competing to make him happy!—but in each instance he gets more than he bargained for.

First, Himawari clutches him closely on the water slide, but it is his trunks (not her swimsuit) that slips off upon splashdown. Sun-chan valiantly swoops in to shield him from her eyes. Second, Cosmos prepares to jump on a pink dolphin with him, but gets distracted by misunderstanding his call to “hurry up” to mean “accelerate your plans for marriage to me.” Sun-chan boards the dolphin instead, so Joro doens’t have to suffer the indignity alone.

Finally, while soaking in the hot tub with Pansy, they exchange thanks for what they’ve done for each other (she’s hanging out with friends, he was able to make up with said friends). But she also brings up all manner of unpleasant information about him he’d really rather no one knew about, such as his reliance on fortune telling, or the location of his porn collection.

Once more, it’s Sun-chan to the rescue, kindly asking Pansy to lay off before Joro comes apart. As such, when it comes time to decide with whom he had the most fun, he picks Sun, leaving the three girls blindsided (though Himawari congratulates Sun, not officially being “after” Joro as Pansy and Cosmos are.)

The next day at school, the It Girl Coalition surrounds Joro menacingly, only to offer heartfelt apologies, and all are impressed by how kindly he accepts them. He learns that the black-haired beauty sitting beside him in Sasanqua’s desk is, in fact, Sasanqua, who took out her hair dye in order to more sincerely apologize. Thus, Joro’s horoscope about seeing “an unexpected side” of someone wasn’t about any of his friends, but the girl he sits beside.

Strangely, this is not the last twist of the episode, nor is it even the last unexpected black-haired beauty Joro encounters in class. That honor goes to a Touyama Nao-voiced transfer student who claims to know Joro gong way back, is hurt he doesn’t remember her, and drops to one knee to kiss his hand as if he were a princess.

I know not what oddness this is, or why his ultimate ideal—”a kind woman who’d do her best for him without conditions”—but I do know that with things now going so swimmingly with his friends and the rumors about him debunked, Joro is in need of a new conflict, and this girl looks to be it!

BokuBen 2 – 05 – Magic Fingers

Recycling will help save the Earth…but does that also apply to stories? BokuBen 2 tests the validity of that claim by essentially rehashing not one but two of its first season segments. The result, while familiar, is effective, if a bit…foregone.

The first story repeats the “wrong bag” scenario of Episode 2, only instead of Uruka accidentally giftng Nariyuki her wet swimsuit, Nariyuki gives Fumino his little sister’s bra instead of a left-handed pen. Fumino goes with it, even wearing it the next day.

The misunderstanding continues as the two walk to school, with Nariyuki asking if the gift is “comfortable”; in reality, Fumino has to use a lot of padding to fill the bra out (that it’s meant for his little sister adds insult to injury), but she isn’t about to share that info with him.

When Rizu and Uruka ask what Nariyuki got, he starts to sa “a b-” but is cut off by quick strikes from Fumino. They eventually have a timeout in the hall and get on the same page, and Nariyuki gives her the proper gift later, after which he’s forced to come up with the right response to “all guys love big boobs,” and frankly makes the best choice he can (saying “it depends”…which it does!)

The second half of the episode revisits the first season’s ninth episode, in which various circumstances conspire to put Nariyuki in the position of helping the women in his life pick out lingerie. The same owner of that store opened a massage parlor, and when Nariyuki’s mom can’t fill in, he steps in, thinking he’ll just be handing out pamphlets.

Not soon after taking the job, he’s pressed into service (no pun intended) as a masseur, and his first client is Miss Kirisu, who is very particular about how her lower back is worked on. Turns out Nariyuki is a massage virtuoso, having practiced on his parents for years. Even in the mascot gloves, his magical hands make Kirisu scream in ecstasy.

Nariyuki also works on Rizu’s shoulders (stiff from carrying her large bust), Fumino’s shoulders (because she felt the need to compete with Rizu), and Asumi’s feet (she covers her mouth as he works on them, making him think he’s not rubbing hard enough). Uruka and her swim friends also show up because why not? and pull back the curtain to find him being seemingly sadistic to Asumi, when he was really just getting a bit carried away; he didn’t even realize she’d removed his head!

Uruka is none to happy Nariyuki has had his hands all over the others, and so gets some personal treatment from him at the end. By the time night rolls around and Nariyuki is home, he relies on his sister to massage his back…something she’s all to happy to do for her big brother. I guess massage skills run in the family!

Ao-chan Can’t Study! – 07 – Beach Study

Ao truly cannot study now that she’s thinking about Takumi more, which means her grades drop precipitously, necessitating a trip to a studying retreat. Naturally, that retreat is at a beach so Ao will end up in a swimsuit—a very revealing, cherry-print swimsuit selected by Miyabi to accentuate Ao’s bust.

Takumi and his friend (who is interested in Miyabi) are also there, thanks to Ao’s dad blabbing about her whereabouts. Since Ao is three whole hours early for her study session, she decides a little time on the beach couldn’t hurt.

Ao looks so good in the bikini, Takumi has trouble summoning words. When they’re out on the water together, Ao assumes sex to be imminent, when in reality Takumi isn’t coming close to doing anything of the sort. Ao is almost disappointed when he doesn’t make any move at all, and in her anger, her top pops off, its strap sabotaged by Miyabi’s scissors.

The intent is clear: create a moment so embarrassing Ao retreats from her slow-burn courtship experiment, paving the way for Miyabi to swoop in and deflower Takumi. Only problem is, yup, Takumi still has no romantic feelings for Miyabi. So it’s a battle of attrition.

Ao-chan Can’t Study! – 06 – WE HAVE THE MEATS

With Ao’s father having an apparent bout of writer’s block, Ao accompanies his managing editor Yabe Souichirou to a festival full of meat and boobs…for data gathering. There, Ao encounters Miyabi (despite her slight bust size) and Takumi, both of whom are working at the event.

Thus, Ao worries that the two are a couple. Miyabi, ever the opportunist, sees Yabe for what he is: a much better catch than Takumi. Still, as she considers Ao and Yabe to be a thing, she is content with Takumi.

Yabe and Ao are both a little off when it comes to interpreting things, which means Ao lets her dad-inspired dirty imagination run away with itself regarding Takumi and Miyabi. In reality, Takumi isn’t interested in Miyabi at all.

Once he’s on his break, he seeks Ao out, both because he wants to clear up any misunderstanding about himself and Miyabi, and because, frankly, he’s jealous of Yabe being so close and familiar with Ao. Whether it’s prudent for him to literally sweep Ao off her feet away from Yabe so he can get some time to talk with her…is another matter.

Still, once he and Ao are alone, he makes it clear he only cares about her, and is running out of patience. He must feel she’s strung him along long enough; if she’s interested, she should communicate that. If she’s not, she should say so and give him the opportunity to move on, whether it’s with Miyabi or anyone else.

As far as Takumi is concerned, there’s no one he’s particularly interested in other than Ao. Ao feels likewise…the two just have to find some way to end up on the same wavelength. Unfortunately, considering we’re only halfway into this story, I suspect more bumps in the road to follow.

Mahoutsukai no Yome – 06

After Chise succeeds in cleansing the corruption, Renfred withdraws. Chise asks Elias how long she has; Elias states three years if nothing changes, but he doesn’t expect nothing to change, and didn’t tell her because her dying so soon isn’t “part of his plans.”

Having so thoroughly exerted herself magically again, Chise passes out, and doesn’t wake up even two weeks later. Elias stashes her in the middle of a forest where her magic can regenerate faster, and Titania, Queen of the Faeries, Titania, emerges from the woods.

Titania is best described as having weird boobs that are drawn one way in one shot and another way in another; they seem to be contained by her bodice one moment, but are spilling out another. It’s a bit distracting, frankly. She also has a very irritating husband in the Faerie King Oberon.

Annoying though he may be, Oberon, along with his wife, seem to approve of Elias’ new human hatchling/mate, and Oberon restores all of Chise’s magic, allowing her to finally awaken.

Having restored Chise and heard that she’s fine with Elias, Oberon and Titania take their leave, inviting Elias and Chise to visit them for a banquet in their realm; an offer their Spriggan guard warns them not to redeem, nor does Elias intend to. He already had to stop faeries from luring Chise into their realm, after all.

After saying goodbye to Simon (who was banished from the encounter by the faeries and made to roam the forest until their business was concluded), Chise tells Elias how she wishes he bought her ten years ago, when Simon first started observing him.

Elias assures her they’ll be together more than ten years, and that his “experiment” to lengthen her lifespan will not fail; together, they’ll make it work. What role Christmas pudding plays in that venture, I don’t know. All I know is, while it had a few interesting moments, this episode felt a bit thin!

Drifters – 04

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Drifters has its intense, ostensibly serious moments, but very often they are upturned by a sudden bout of comedy, such as when Easy, who is in the Dorridor to tease Murasaki, finds that he’s currently away from his desk.

Basically, Drifters is in on the joke, and it’s out to show you can have a story about famous historical figures going at each other for the sake of a world not their own without being as rigid as bamboo or dry as Fall leaves. You can have a little fun.

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I like how Oda Nobunaga, the ostensible leader of the Three Surly Samurai, decides to step aside and let Toyohisa be the commander who leads the Elves in their rebellion.

First, he respects Toyohisa’s ability and relative youth. Second, at his age he prefers to be the one who pulls the strings on the side. Third, and perhaps most silly, is that Toyohisa went and sat in the middle, between Nobunaga and Yoichi. And that’s where the leader sits.

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The narrative of a village of (surprisingly old) Elves who have never known freedom or war taking a stand against their masters isn’t all that interesting, but making the Three Samurai their “coaches” in this enterprise, and all their inherent bickering and bawdiness, is pretty entertaining, and helps the medicine go down, so to speak.

These are three guys who can back up their arrogance (and other typically undesirable personality traits); indeed, it makes sense they act and talk the way they do: They’re used to getting their way, and when they don’t, blood that isn’t their own usually spills.

Magician Olmine isn’t yet sure how these Drifters fit into the Octobrists’ larger struggle to save the world, but she knows they’re too human, and too quick to help the weak and downtrodden, to be Easy’s Ends.

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Rewrite – 02

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After reflection, I revised by rating of Rewrite’s first episode to a seven, as I suspect its nearly hour-long running time lulled me into a kind of trance in which it seemed like a better show than it actually was.

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But the first episode was still gobs better than the second, which eliminated most of the fantasy elements and atmosphere I liked for silly antics and discussion of boobs. As such, all my enthusiasm for sticking with Rewrite has evaporated.

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It doesn’t help that the characters are drawn with only the broadest of strokes based on well-worn archtypes that are better executed elsewhere on the Summer spectrum…or that the animation leaves much to be desired.

With 91 Days and Alderamin now on my list, in addition to being the worst of the three current shows whose titles begin with “Re”, Rewrite has been relegated to my recycling bin.

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My Hero Academia – 11

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I’m not going to complain this week: this episode kept bringing the action, more awesome hero combinations, clever applications of their powers, some genuine dread of defeat, and a moment of righteous victory. Plus, a briefly-topless Momo!

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After their big combo play last week, Midoriya, Asui and Mineta mostly hang back and watch with horror as Aizawa is smashed by the “anti-All Might”, Nomu, whose exposed brain you’d think would be a pretty serious weak spot.

It’s pretty intense what the touch of hand-man Shigaraki Tomura does to Aizawa’s arm, and Kurogiri exposes Thirteen’s lack of fighting experience by opening another warp gate behind him, making him susceptible to his own shop-vac quirk.

He and Aizawa have bought the students time, but it’s all for naught if no one can get word to reinforcement heroes. So Iida has to get the hell out of USJ, and without his teachers’ help.

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One by one, students in Iida’s path help him out with their quirks, including Ochako lifting Kurogiri off the ground by touching the only physical part of him. It’s quite satisfying when Iida bursts through those doors. He’s not running away: he’s running to save everyone.

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Midoriya & Co. stick around Tomura and Nomu too long, as it’s not long before he realizes they’re there and attacks them. Before that, Mineta executes a shameless Asui boob-grab, which actually turns her dead eyes white, but doesn’t awaken any other powers.

No, in this pinch, Midoriya has to put his body on the line to save Asui and Mineta, which means using (instert American place name here) Smash on Tomura. But not only does his arm not break, the punch does nothing, as Nomu came in to block at the last moment.

It’s bad news if Nomu can’t be beaten by Midoriya, because that probably means even when All Might arrives (to the elation of all the students), he won’t be able to beat Nomu either. Not alone, and not in the short amount of time before he turns back into Heroin Might.

The answer, it would seem, is to fight one anti-All Might with two All Mights. AM and Midoriya’s first joint battle? Maybe more heroes joining the fray? We shall see.

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Hundred – 08

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The bad news: this wasn’t a particularly mockable episode of Hundred. Why? That’s the good news: it wasn’t really that bad, as far as episodes of Hundred go. The ‘fight monsters, then fight over Hayate’ formula has been spiced up nicely by Claudia, voiced by the talented Akasaki Chinatsu, who exhibits her usual tremendous range and energy.

I’ve loved Akasaki’s work ever since Kill Me Baby! and seeing her give Emile a taste of her own medicine is never not fun. Claudia’s also a pretty capable Slayer, so it’s not like it doesn’t make sense to have her around.

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Naturally, Claudia works to separate Hayato and Emile at every turn, an urge she shares with Claire, not least because both know she’s really a girl. Claudia wants Emilia and Claire wants Hayato, but there’s no real alliance between them, which is why Claire puts both Hayato and Claudia on her team while her veep Erica is paired with Emile.

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Even though the Hunters are lurking around hoping to poach savage and slayer alike, Claudia kinda drops the ball by leaving Claire and Hayato alone so she can run back to Emile. Not only is her lie about the two “going on date” inaccurate, it’s also unsuccessful, as Emile isn’t one to simply tuck tail and return to her homeland just because Claire won Round One. By that same token, Claudia isn’t about to give up on Emilia.

As for Claire and Hayato, the former slipping on some mud is enough of a reason to go skinny dipping in a hot spring. She slips again while getting out, landing naked on Hayato, but in between the moments of silliness they have a fine little chat about how both of them are fighting primarily for family, not just out of duty and honor—and how there’s nothing wrong with that.

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Speaking of honor, it doesn’t seem like the Hunters have much, as they start ambushing and scavenging the various slayer teams dispersed throughout the area. Claire mobilizes in her full armor to put a stop to it, but an earlier mention of heavy rain affecting beam weaponry gains significance when the heavens open up just when she’s about to dole out some beamy justice. Looks like a job for Hayato.

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Hundred – 07

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The Quest to Kill Karen continues: she survived a rowdy idol concert, so lets put her out in the blazing sun! Seriously, if she can endure this many trips outside her hospital room, why is she confined to that hospital room?

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For THAT. She’s got them hanging out for that. Gotta cushion Hayato’s clumsy falls, right?

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Oh, great, here we go: Bishounen Bad Guy #4,678,594. Claire’s older brother Judar. I’m sure he’s not up to no good, no sir!

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“Mmmm…but not you, Karen. Sorry.”

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Boobs? It’s boobs, right? Gotta be boobs.

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WHOA…Judar went and splurged on the most expensive lamp at IKEA Little Garden! Wait a minute…there’s a girl in there! Judging from all the white mist around her body, she’s nude, too! She’s your and Claire’s sister Liza, you say? Why’s your sister nude in there?

Never mind; Judar wants to see if Hayato’s Super-Awesome Energy can wake her up, even though she powers the entire city-ship? Uh, buddy, you got backup generators, or am I missing something?

Claire pulls a gun on her brother when she finds him down there with Hayato. How’d she catch up to them so fast, when it took the two of them so long to descend and get through all those security doors? Is Judar just messing with Hayato, and there’s a screen door that leads straight to the top deck?

Never mind again; I’d probably pull a gun on him too. Dude’s totally evil.

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Some people immediately took a hatred to Emilia’s highly-caffinated childhood friend Claudia Loetty and wanted to lower her into a volcano mere seconds after meeting her. Wouldn’t you know it, I was not one of those people!

I dunno…I kinda love her. Her voice actor (I wanna say Akasaki Chinatsu, but not sure) has stellar range and timing, and Claudia is pretty much the manifestation of all the built-up misfortune Hayato has been collecting while taking all of those lucky ass-backward trips into lady’s hearts, crotches, boobs, and mouths.

Sure, at some point Claudia may also come to fall for Hayato, but that seems a pretty long way off. And any cute girl who doesn’t love Hayato and is actively trying to make his life harder is alright with me. Hayato needs more people like this in his life, lest he take what he has (everything) for granted.

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You see? There is nothing inaccurate about this statement. This girl speaks the truth. She is after my heart. Take it to him, sister!

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Yes, because she’s desperately in love with Emilia (who turns out to be a princess back home in Gudenburg, dontchaknow!), Claudia has zero patience for those who’d seduce her  (hence her hissing and spitting upon meeting Hayato). She also challenges Hayato to a duel in a dojo, her with her flail/mace thingy, and he with his shinai.

It doesn’t seem like a fair fight, until Hayato easily defeats her in the most hilarious way possible. She then tries to bargain for a rematch, but is refused and runs off crying. Yes, Claudia is very very annoying, but I’m very glad she’s around. She made this normally bland, stolid love-fest genuinely interesting and funny for once!

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Hundred – 06

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Anyone hoping this week’s Hundred would out-do Bakuon’s T&A quota may come away disappointed: there was precious little time for girls to throw off their clothes and jump Hayato, what with all the battlin’ going on. And hey, what do you know, Sakura’s Hundred also gives her defensive capabilities. Why does she need a part-time bodyguard, again?

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Apparently not from the pack of elite variants who poach savages. The group of three (four?) make the Little Garden students look a bit silly; though perhaps that’s not entirely fair as you’re talking about pros (albeit young ones) against amateur students. Nice outfits, though.

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Sakura expresses a little confusion over Emile’s possessiveness towards Hayato (being a “boy” and all), but nothing comes of it, and in any case, there’s no time for fooling around since there’s savages to fight! Only the hunters fought and beat the savages for them. And there actualy was time for a lot of standing around and talking. As for the savages, they seem really slow and dumb.

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The savage hunters, imaginatively called “hunters” by Claire at their debriefing, are after savage cores, because cores and variable stones are basically the same thing, both technologically and monetarily speaking. But this is all Top Secret, so don’t tell anyone, even though the science loli told half the cast.

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Sakura spends a good amount of time on a beach with no bodyguard, it seems, because she’s already there when Hayato answers her summons. When Hayato says everyone’s looking forward to the concert, Sakura goes into a pity spiral, saying people are only affected by her song because she’s a variant and that’s her skill. Hayato rebuts: she touched him and Karen way back before she was an idol, so quit hatin’ on yoself!

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The concert ensues, and, erm, it’s okay I guess? Pretty underwhelming. They never even bothered to animate Sakura singing; not even once! Which begs the question, why have such an ambitious idol concert scene if you don’t have the budget? I don’t know, but at the end Sakura breaks out the same song she sang to Hayato and Karen, which is nice.

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After giving Karen, who really should be dead from all the exposure to the outside (why else would she be confined to a hospital room the rest of her life?) an autograph and handshake, Sakura closes in for a big ‘ol smooth on Hayato’s cheek, making the polyamorous lil’ scamp blush like a rose – and outrage all the other girls present currently crushing on him.

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It wouldn’t be Hundred without closing with an even more ridiculous portrayal of Hayato’s harem, in which three of his girls tug and pull at him like he’s the last carton of milk at the store during a blizzard. You break him, you bought him, ladies…and what are you gonna do when you get him?

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Hundred – 05

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What’s Kirishima Hayato’s secret for getting all these hot ladies falling at his feet? From what I can tell, it’s to be as nondescript and vapid a character as it is possible to be while still able to be called a “character.”

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They don’t just fall at his feet of their own accord, though: they forget they don’t have their bikini top tied on, or slip and fall on top of him. So it’s not just vapidity, but the fact that physics itself seem to favor the guy.

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Hundred does its darndest to not spend any more time than it needs to on silly matters like protecting civilization from a scourge of powerful monsters. Instead, it prefers having Hayato go on a date with Emilia after turning down Claire’s swimming challenge.

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Wait, but isn’t he supposed to be Sakura’s bodyguard, you ask? Apparently not full-time. Which is unfortunate, because Sakura disappears when he’s off the job. Thankfully, she used his GPD signal to track him down so she can take him somewhere special to her. Emilia gets ditched. Don’t hate the playa…

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I’m not sure Hayato signed up to have Sakura prattle on interminably about her increasingly dark and cruel past as they admire the islands’ version of the grand canyon (the geography of this place, and why its not overrun with savages, escapes me).

I think I fell asleep during some of the exposition, but from what I heard, Sakura had the same virus as Karen, was sold to a mad scientist and injected with Savage cells in an attempt to build a super-slayer. Not-fun times.

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Then Sakura proceeds to connect every significant part of her life to Hayato, from the one who set her on the path to idoldom, to the one who preserved the place where she apparently has good (rather than horrifying) memories, and the fact both of them are variants and thus “share the same fate.”

I imagine Sakura is going to be disappointed when she learns that Hayato does not and will not belong to just one woman. He belongs to them all. His blandness…it’s just so breathtaking.

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Oh HEY! It’s a savage! Those variant kids from last week, perhaps? They come pretty late in this episode. In fact, they come at the very end, before Hayato has any time to break out his Hundred and, you know, fight them.

Instead we spent what felt like an eternity watching Hayato jump from one girl to another, turning one Claire for Emilia, ditching Emilia for Sakura, and telling Sakura, who is pouring her heart out, to “calm down there.” Maybe the real monster in Hundred is Hayato.

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Hundred – 04

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I’ve taken over Hundred from Hannah, but she didn’t say anything about reviewing it seriously, so I won’t be, and if you actually take this show seriously, do not read this.

One thing I think we can ALL agree on is that Hundred’s first three episodes were seriously deficient when it came to the presence of girls in love with Hayato in one form or another. Seriously, where’s the love for this guy?

That starts to change in a hurry, as sparring with Erica und Fritz earns him the adoration of random extras, and famous idol Kirishima Sakura, who is all pink, natch, has seen YouTube videos of his battles and wants him to be her bodyguard.

With three Savage modules believed shot down but still unaccounted for, it’s the perfect time to put 100,000 warm bodies in mortal danger. The show must go on!

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Baaaaw loogit Big Bro Hayato being a Good Big Bro, securing a ticket to the concert for Karen! Sure, she’ll be one of the people in danger if things go wrong, but family should stick together, especially in potential battle zones. Besides, the fresh air might do her some good…or kill her.

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Aww, sorry Emilia. I guess Hayato can’t keep everyone happy all the time; inevitably making some girls who like him happy means making other girls who like him (or in this case, girls disguised as guys who like him) unhappyor at least disappointed. But hey, at least we know Emi didn’t surrender her key to Hayato’s room.

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Sakura’s very very pink, sure: Pink hair, pink eyes, pink flowers, pink cheeks…she’s pink, capiche? Other than that, she’s your typical dime-a-dozen anime idol, without any particularly exceptional qualities…except perhaps the brazen audacity of holding a concert in an unsafe place, putting her fans in danger. But hey, she’s taking their money and the fine print’s right there on the back of the ticket: Kirishima Sakura LLC is not responsible for death or dismemberment by Savage, etc. etc.

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She’s also a total tease and Hayato takes the bait, embarrassing her in the process when he takes her up on her worryingly detailed plan to marry him.

She also leaves her clothes and underwear carefully strewn around the bathroom when she calls him in to hand her her PDA, because this is 1993 and PDAs are a thing and you do NOT just leave them on the countertop and leave the bathroom, no sir, you have to hand the PDA to the naked girl in person while stepping over her bear pantsu which are an “exception” to her usual pantsu, which are vintage PDA-themed.

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Because this is Macross Hundred, Sakura’s fight is on the stage, and her “weapons” are her voice and a sleek flight suit that is extremely skintight and very similar to her skin tone, making it appear like she’s wearing barely anything at all when she’s actually covered neck to toe.

Sakura’s ability is called “Fairy Tale Fairy”, and I don’t know why Hayato doesn’t just say fuck it and storm off after being subjected to such a terrible ability name. Instead, he watches Sakura fly around for approximately seventy hours.

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His duties for the first day thus complete (who needs a bodyguard when they’re ASLEEP?), Hayato returns to his dorm and is elated to find it deserted, hoping to take a bath by himself.

Early on, Karen read Hayato’s fortune in the cards and warned him to be careful with women and water. I’ll just say for the record that he does not follow her advice.

But Emile/ia is in there and invites him to join her, so they get in some nice nakedtime that’s actually quite subdued until she pounces on him, they end up in an awkward position, and she runs away calling him a pervert. But the scar she got in a tragic PDA accident years ago is healing up nicely because he’s around, so it’s all good!

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Well, not ALL good. Three human-looking baddies whom I assume are Savage (or half-Savage variants) are staking out Sakura’s stage, assuring us they’re on humanity’s side, but not coming off as very convincing. I mean, for a start, where are their PDAs?

But hey, I’ll take Hayato & Co. fighting human-ish Savages than slow, lame monster-ish Savages any day. But why wasn’t THIS in Karen’s card-reading?

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