Tales of Wedding Rings – 12 (Fin) – Upping Their Game

Satou and his wives return to the ruins of Idanokan to find a battle between the imperial and the Abyss King’s armies. Nobody can put a scratch on the Abyss King himself, but after everyone wishes him good luck, Satou jumps into the battle, his five rings combine into one, and he disperses the Abyss King’s forces in one great explosion of light.

However, this attack is not quite enough to destroy the Abyss King. It merely wounds him, and Satou is completely out of juice, unable to lift a finger. The King prepares to kill Satou, but his wives leap in to protect him. Granart and Amber fight valiantly, but when the Abyss King re-summons his forces, they are woefully outnumbered. Satou tries to get his second wind, but passes out entirely.

After a series of flashbacks and dream sequences, Satou comes to on the back of a giant flying bird. Turns out Alabaster, with help from his former elven lover Smaragdi, were able to snatch him and his wives away from the Abyss King. Alabaster thanks Satou for wounding the Abyss King and sending his army into retreat for the time being.

Back home in Hime’s kingdom, Alabaster admits that there has been no record of the dark rings the Abyss King now wears, and that the only solution to defeating him once and for all is for the Ring King and his wives to gain even more power and fight as a unit. This will require them to “strengthen their bonds”, hence the arrival of the end credits scene of the wives sprawled across the bed in lingerie (though nothing happens).

In addition to growing closer to Satou, Hime will need more magical training so she can fight beside him. That’s where Hime’s powerful mage of a little sister, Morion Ravri Nokanakita, comes in, out of nowhere, just after Hime first mentions she even had a little sister she hasn’t seen in years. Need(akitta)less to say, this is not a true finale, but merely a stopping point for an confirmed second season.

Tales of Wedding Rings – 11 – Bearing the Weight of Destiny

After buying clothes to blend in with Satou’s world and having a meal at a local family restaurant, everyone tries to put a good face on things, but the fact of the matter is they are stuck here for the time being, with only four of the five rings needed to defeat the Abyss King.

It’s fun seeing Nef, Granart, and Saphir in casual clothes, enjoying a bathhouse together, and teasing Hime over her promise to Satou to consummate their marriage upon returning there. As for the expenses they’re wrapping up, Hime’s gramps arranged things so they’d have a place to live and all the money they’d need if they failed to defeat the Abyss King.

The mere fact that Alabaster created such a contingency convinces Hime that it wasn’t a certainty they’d have defeated the Abyss King even if they had five rings. But as the listless, normal days pass, Hime notices Satou has been returning to the spot where they teleported.

She doesn’t want Satou to worry about her world anymore, but to find his own happiness … with her. But his duty as Ring King clearly pulls at him, and is answered by the appearance of the fifth princess, Amber, or rather an artificial replica of her created by the Dwarves.

Sensing the Abyss King would destroy their civilization, they sent the replica of Amber to earth with the ring to wait for her time, and her king, to come. But now that he has, he wavers between returning to the other world to fight the Abyss King, and honoring Hime’s wish to forget about all that.

But it isn’t just the arrival of Amber, and the possibilty of returning, that changes that equation. Nef, Granart, and Saphir have become born and are truly starting to feel just how out of place they are in this world. The happiness Hime wants for all of them may not be achievable here.

Amber, who has waited for Satou for centuries, is content to wait as long as it takes, and even watch over him until he dies, if that is his will. But it isn’t, and he meets Amber on the roof of school to form a marriage contract with her, trusting her confidence that with five rings, their victory over the Abyss King will be a foregone conclusion. Only when he’s gone can the weight of his duty be lifted, and will everyone find true happiness.

Satou returns home to a distraught Hime, still crying about the loss of her grandfather. When she sees the fifth ring on his hand, he tells them they’re returning to Arnulus. When she voices her fear that he might be hurt or die, he tells her the task her gramps gave him to “free” her and the others from the duty of the rings, he didn’t mean run away from or forget it, but fulfill that duty so they can move past it together. She need not fear, because she won’t be bearing the duty alone.

Hearing the sheer dumb confidence in Satou’s voice, Hime is inclined to go along with him. But before they leave Earth, she wants to make love to him. It surely looks like they’re going to get to do the deed, but alas, Satou only makes it to second base when Amber interrupts them at the worst possible time. Worse still, she’s already activated the teleportation spell back to Arnulus, which she can only use once.

So just like that, it’s time to go. Granart arrives with Saphir and a Nef burrito, having picked up on everything that was going on with her advanced cat insight. And now that it’s time to go home, Saphir can’t hold back tears of relief; she really wasn’t enjoying her time there, and who can blame her, when among other things, she was separated from her twin sister?

Komatsu Mikako is effortlessly charming as the slightly mechanical, joke-cracking Amber, and both her design and personality are pleasantly distinct from the others. I also like how everyone was basically fated to return to Earth so that they could meet her and attain the fifth ring. I share Satou’s confidence that they can take care of the Abyss King. My only real doubt is whether he and Hime can manage go all the way before the dang show ends!

Tales of Wedding Rings – 10 – An Unexpected Detour

After making camp for the night as they near the Dwarven capital of Idanokan, Satou ponders whether the Ring King is really needed to defeat the Abyss King and save the world. Al tells him that the world is a vast place full of different opinions on the matter.

But everything the Great Sage has learned and read points to the fact once resurrected, no one can stand against the Abyss King but the Ring King. Unfortunately, Satou is still short one crucial ring, and Idanokan is a gorgeous but totally abandoned ruin.

After a search of the ruins prove fruitless, the party braves the central palace, where an empty throne sits and an inactive automaton once controlled by magic by the dwarves lies on the ground. It comes back to life thanks to an Abyss Ring, and starts to bitterly rant how the Dwarves were the only one of the five Ring Kingdoms to perish in the last war.

A kiss from Hime gives Satou sufficient light power to defeat the automaton, but shortly thereafter all of the dark rings evaporate at once. That turns out not to be a good thing, because we see all five rings materialize on the Sauron-like Abyss King. That’s not good at all, because it means he beat Satou to five rings.

As soon as they arrived at Idanokan and there was no one on the surface, my first thought was that surely a measure of their kingdom, if not the whole damn thing, now resided underground—we’re talking about Dwarves here, they kinda prefer mines and tunnels, right?

Yet once Abyss monsters appear in the throne room, Al leads everyone outside rather than venturing further into the underground tunnels. Since they already searched out there and knew no one was there, this seems like a bad move. Then again, Al thought they had a path to escape. They don’t.

With the party surrounded by dozens of Abyss monsters that multiply faster than a winded Satou can defeat them, Al makes the call to open the gate back to our world and send Satou and the princesses back. At the very least, the Abyss King cannot follow them there, and thus cannot attain the rings. Marse stays by Al’s side, but things look pretty grim for both of them.

In an oddly edited post-credits scene, Satou wakes up in his bedroom, but then we flash back to him and the princesses having just exited the gate in a forest on the outskirts of town. As much as the situation sucks for him, at least he’s back in his own world.

He imagines things are much worse for the princesses who are now the outsiders. However, they seem to be more concerned with the lack of diversity in bra sizes in Hime’s wardrobe, perhaps unaware that their outfits would be lauded in some parts of this world as the highest-quality cosplay…

I’ll admit, I did not expect the show to throw us this kind of loop and send everyone back to Satou’s world with just one princess to go. However, that fifth princess is sure to exist and show up at some point, since she appears in both the OP and ED. Until then, we’ll see how long Satou and his wives remain in his world, and how much they’ll play up the fish-out-of-water factor.

Tales of Wedding Rings – 09 – The Normal Boy I Know

After waking up from a nudity and fanservice-laden dream in which his four wives are fighting over who should sleep right beside him, Satou decides he wants to take Hime, the girl he actually loves out on a date for the day, just the two of them. Al provides him with a little extra spending cash, essentially telling him he and Hime don’t have to come home that night.

Hime and Satou proceed to have a perfectly normal date, which is itself an accomplishment considering their circumstances. Granart, Nef, and Saphir are content to observe the date from the shadows, but they’re ultimately underwhelmed by the lack of hanky-panky. Hime and Satou are still figuring out what it means to be a monogamous couple in a scenario in which Satou has three, and soon to be four other wives.

As the sun starts to fall, Hime even tells Satou that while she’s happy he took her out today, this should probably be the last time, as he owes the other ring princesses his affections. Satou is basically eff that, not only is Hime his Number One, but the Only One as far as he’s concerned, and he proves it with a wall slam and passionate kiss that almost leads to the two getting a room at a nearby hotel.

This episode explores the tribulations that arise with suddenly having four wives when you truly only love and want to be with one of them, but duty and fate have conspired against that simplicity. While this remains a low-rent production, Kitou Akari lends genuine pathos to Hime’s situation. With one more ring princess to marry, Satou an his party head north to Idanokan, the remote mountainous land of the dwarves, where even Al isn’t sure there’s still a functioning civilization.

Tales of Wedding Rings – 08 – Where His New Worth Lies

Prince Marse had already been derided as a failure by his father’s court before he was given One Job, to take up the mantle of the Ring King. That he couldn’t even do that, and with Princess Saphira forsaking him, he now feels completely worthless. The Oracle taps right into that baggage, unlocks his darker desire for power and redemption, and presents him with an ancient sword that can deflect the Ring King’s power.

Satou is busy getting chaste kisses from his wives when more monsters arrive at the palace doorstep, and that’s when Marse suddenly charges and slashes at him. Alabaster holds the monsters at bay while Satou and Marse duel, and Satou isn’t under any illusions he can beat Marse in a swordfight. But he can also tell something is off. He’s in as bad a shape as he should be.

Throwing caution to the wind like the fool Saphir believes him to be, Satou leaves himself open to what should be a killing strike from Marse, but the cut doesn’t go deep. That confirms it: Marse is hesitating. Marse falls to his knees and asks Satou to cut his worthless self down, but of course Satou can’t and won’t do that. Without Marse, Satou wouldn’t have lasted a day in this new world. If Marse can’t see worth in himself, Satou will give him worth: that of a knight of the Ring King who will save the world.

Once Satou breaks the gem on the pommel of Marse’s sword, he’s freed of the Oracle’s curse. The Oracle then uses a monster to take Saphira hostage. She’ll trade the princess for the rings, but Marse won’t hear of it. Accepting his new worth and resolved to live life protecting those precious to him, he proposes to Saphira right then and there, creating a distraction for Satou to slashs the tentacle restraining her. Marse catches her out of the air, as gallant and romantic an outcome as they could have hoped for.

Again declaring her new husband a fool—but the good kind of fool—Saphir kisses Satou and transforms into a massive water dragon that noms the Oracle’s comparatively puny monster. Defeated, the Oracle vanishes into a dark portal, while Saphir returns to her human form—completely nude, of course—and Hime helpfully shields Satou’s eyes.

With the Oracle’s hold on the king lifted, it’s revealed he’s a lot more youthful and vigorous than before (again, like King Theoden). He gives Marse his blessing to marry Saphira. Watching the happy couple embrace makes Hime a little envious, and then she and Satou blush together when Marse says “your turn”, implying he and Saphira have already consummated their love.

Even Sluder leaves on good terms with Marse, welcoming his brother home when he so chooses. However, their dad would probably less enthusiastic about Marse’s return. The Oracle, who he’d been working with, tries her controlling shit with him and he cuts her down, declaring that nothing, not he Abyss King or the Ring King, will keep him from achieving global hegemony. Well, we’ll just see about that, pops! One wife to go for Satou!

Tales of Wedding Rings – 07 – Great Fool of Little Caution

Not five minutes after arriving in the remote but lively Water Kingdom of Maasa, a cloaked young lady approaches Satou, declares herself a big fan, offers him a bouquet … and then kisses him. This is no random girl, but the Maiden of the Water Ring herself, Princess Saphir Maasa.

When Satou looks down at his hand, he sees she’s already given him the Water Ring. Well that was easy! That said, she also throws a number of insults his way for being so wide open that anyone could have approached and married him.

In addition to being the fastest princess to marry Satou, Saphir also differs in her much more haughty attitude, her petite, slender frame, and, oh yes, she has a twin sister, Saphira, to whom Prince Marse made a promise to marry once he became the Ring King.

Saphira despairs that her sister married such a plain-looking man (Satou out here catching strays), while Marse broke his promise. So while there’s no actual drama about Satou gaining the powers of the Water Ring, there’s a whole lot of drama surrounding the family and kingdom he’s married into.

When the Gisaras Empire of which Marse is second prince failed to conquer Maasa with force, they sent him to court Saphira, only they fell genuinely in love. For Marse to return to her having ceded his destined role of Ring King to a stranger form another world, simply because he felt “unworthy”, is the deepest betrayal for Saphira.

There’s other issues: Marse’s undefeated general of a brother, First Prince Sluder, is in Maasa with imperial soldiers with the surface mission of protecting the kingdom from the Abyss, but it’s clear they intend to integrate Maasa into the Empire. Also, the twin sisters’ father’s mind has been overthrown, Theoden-style, by a mysterious Wormtongue-like Oracle.

But enough about all that, let’s have a pool party! Hime, Nef, and Granart show off their bodacious bods, and in a refreshing change of pace there’s no boob comparisons; Saphir isn’t shamed for her elegant slender frame, just her skimpy micro bikini. Why does a kingdom where people dress like ancient Greeks have such modern swimwear? Shhh…don’t worry about it.

The previous night, the Oracle sent assassins to get rid of the Ring King, but Granart took care of them while Satou slept. Also, because she’s a catgirl, she’s just not a fan of the water. Saphir assumes Satou & Co. are pretending to have their guards down, but they’re actually having fun.

And then there’s Marse, who as Satou says, is having a rough go of late. His father and brother haven’t forgiven him for dereliction of duty, but his serving as a imperial spy mitigates that somewhat. When Satou asks why he didn’t become Ring King, Marse’s reasoning is both simple and understandable: he saw Saphira’s face in Hime’s.

Perhaps he didn’t believe he had what it took to take on the Abyss King. But Hime loved Satou just as Saphira loved him, so in that moment he didn’t want to be the one to break Hime’s heart. Now the Oracle issues a new order for him on behalf of the empire that is his one and only home: kill the Ring King and take his rings.

But those orders are flawed, because Marse never believed he was worthy of being the Ring King. He chose Hime’s happiness over his duty before, so I imagine he’ll stand his ground and make the same choice now.

Tales of Wedding Rings – 06 – Risks and Rewards

Satou wakes up to find Nef in bed with him. She’s there to assure him that his role as Ring King is simply to obtain the rings, and if he can do so without being acknowledged by Granart, that’s okay. He thanks her and gets up to prepare for his training, not so much as giving her a kiss. Meanwhile, Hime overhears catwomen talking about Granart letting the Ring King scrub her body, something she’s not that comfortable hearing.

That’s because while she knows Satou has to gain the Fire Ring and marry Granart in order to defeat the Abyss King, she thinks it’s dumb for him to insist on defeating her in single combat. He wants to do it anyway because he doesn’t want to be looked on as weak or lacking, but his duel with Granart is interrupted by the Abyss Knight, who is possessing a previous suitor’s body.

When the knight summons Abyss monsters, the capable catpeople show off their warrior skills, having never stopped training since the last Abyss war. Granart, however, has more trouble against the knight. Satou insists on helping, not just because she needs the help, but because he wants to show her he’s not as helpless as she thinks. He’s able to get in close enough to use the Wind Ring to blow away the knight’s flames, allowing Granart to disarm him.

Satou strikes the final blow with his Light Ring-enhanced sword, and the crisis is averted. At this point, Granart is impressed enough with Satou and his potential to acknowledge him without a duel between them. But that’s not good enough for Satou.

Hime continues to watch silently, but Nef asks her to cheer for Satou, since he’s doing this for her sake. He confirms this by saying he wants to defeat Granart so he’ll look cool in front of his “most beloved wife.” Hime cheers him on by offering to have sex with him if he wins.

That does the trick, as Satou hears the voices of the Rings inside his head for the first time. Amused by his motivation, they agree to help him out with this fight, without him using the power of the princesses. Just for a moment, he’s able to predict her movement, which is all he needs to get her on the ground. Not only does Granart yield, but she’s so happy to have been defeated by a suitor she’s ready to start babymaking immediately.

Of course, Satou isn’t going to do this. For one thing, he has a “prior engagement.” He and Hime go to the bedroom, but just as they’re about to begin, he falls asleep, exhausted from all the battling he’d just done. Oh well!

When he wakes up with a nude Hime beside him, she jokes by saying he was “amazing yesterday”, but then Nef (also nude) pops up from under the covers to assure him that nothing happened. Granart (also nude) is ready to go too, but all this is interrupted by her attendants announcing that the banquet is ready.

At the banquet, Satou sits surrounded by his three wives. Granart tells him she was happy he wanted to make her acknowledge him rather than compromise. Hime remains uncomfortable, and decides to down a whole cup of wine. Satou takes her back to the bedroom, where she feels they have unfinished business.

But that’s when Satou tells her he’s waiting until they return to his world to take the next step with her “properly.” This comes as a bit of a surprise, since it might be some time before they’re able to do that. Heck, there are two more princesses he needs rings from. Not only that, but Granart (and Nef) both want to sleep with Satou too; not that he would even if he and Hime did it.

In any case, it looks like for the duration of his stay in Hime’s world, he’ll be abstaining from doing the nasty. Considering the situations he’s been in just this week (catnip?!) and is sure to end up in later, preserving his chastity might just end up being more difficult than defeating the Abyss King.

Tales of Wedding Rings – 05 – Courting the Cat Princess

Hime is in bed with Satou, about to finally consummate their marriage, only to suddenly be swapped out for Nef! It’s only a dream, borne out of the very understandable feelings of anxiety and jealousy that arise when, say, the man you love marries a second woman. Not helping to allay this anxiety is the fact Satou has been very attentive and doting towards Nef since she started traveling with them.

Alabaster suggests they head to the kingdom of the Water Princess, but their next destination rolls up on them instead: the nation of Needakitta, which is a massive caravan of a capital. While I’m not sure about the spacial relationships depicted—being deep in the forest one minute and on an open road large enough to accommodate a mobile city—it’s definitely a cool concept.

Alabaster isn’t the only one who knows about the warrior cat-people who inhabit Needakitta: Nef knows a lot about a lot of peoples and places, because she’s so well-read. And while she’s initially spooked by the rope ladder they must climb to gain access, she soon gets so excited about all the sights that she gets separated from the others.

Fortunately, Hime is right there beside her, and the cat warriors are a lot nicer than they thought. While enjoying the Needakitta equivalent of crepes with what look like bean sprouts with faces, Hime wipes some Nef’s face, and Nef admits that Hime and Satou are so kind she’s come to think of them as her surrogate parents.

Not just well-read but also emotionally intelligent, Nef also apologizes for hogging Satou’s attention lately. Hime can shrug it off all she wants, but Nef knows it affects Hime because of the depth of her bond with Satou. Nef doesn’t feel anything close to that depth of feeling for Satou, at least not yet, and wonders if that will hamper him as the Ring King.

As for the Maiden of the Fire Ring, she’s the stunningly strong and beautiful Granart Needakitta. After she’s beaten every man (and maybe a few women) in the mobile capital, she’s been accepting challengers from all races and nations. As soon as she spots Satou’s rings she charges him and he’s defeated instantly. But Granart is magnanimous enough to allow him to try again another day.

In order to prepare for his next bout with the Fire Princess, Satou must do his best to get stronger. However, while a quick learner, he’s rather rubbish at the sword (a pity he never did kendo at school), as he’s unable to beat Marse, who admits he wouldn’t even be able to beat Granart. He got by wildly hacking at Abyss monsters, but that won’t work against a skilled swordsman.

While Satou is resting before his magic lessons with Al, Hime has him rest his head in her lap to motivate him, while Nef watches from a hiding spot. She also tells him that it’s fine with her if he’s not the strongest human being in this world. The Satou she loves because of his weaknesses as much as his strengths, and she feels it only right for him to be “a little uncool.”

Satou doesn’t want to settle for being too weak, as evidenced when Granart offers to throw her next match while he’s giving her a impromptu massage. Satou wants to win fair and square, if not with his woeful swordsmanship, than with the Rings of Light and Wind. Just as he was able to defeat a knight of the Abyss King with Hime and Nef’s power, he should be able to handle Granart.

Tales of Wedding Rings – 04 – New Wife, New Strife

With Jade forbidding Satou from marrying Nef, Alabaster suggests they depart for now. The Abyss King’s forces are massing and time is of the essence: Satou needs to collect them most rings as efficiently as possible. They can always come back and try again. Satou doesn’t like it, but defers to Alabaster’s reasoning.

But then an Abyss Knight opens a hole in the barrier large enough for his minions to flow through, and just like that Jade’s status quo is off the table. He tries his best to fight the Knight, but is woefully underpowered. When Satou tries to fight with just the Light Ring, it’s not enough, even with Alabaster, Marse, and the Elder supporting him.

Hime hates how she’s not enough on her own to provide the Ring King with sufficient power to defeat a Abyss Knight, but she hurries to Nef’s room and explains the situation. Satou isn’t putting his life on the line because it’s his duty as Ring King; he’s trying to protect Nef’s home. But he can only succeed if Nef inherits the ring and marries him.

Hime returns to the battle with Nef, both of them brandishing a giant warhammer they use to smash her petrified parents and free the wind rings. Nef dons her ring, then leaps onto Satou, kisses him, and slips the ring on his hand. While the wind barrier falls, with the power of light and wind Satou is able to destroy all of the minions and defeat the Abyss Knight.

He comes to flanked by his two wives, and soon meets Smaragdi, Nef’s aunt who left the village. Turns out the Abyss King used a black wind ring to trick her into becoming one of his knights, and Satou freed her. His reward is an awkward bath in the village’s healing springs, where Nef and the Elder almost convince Hime to make love to Satou right in front of them.

As for Smaragdi’s human lover of fifty years ago, it was Alabaster! He returns to her a necklace she gave him back then, but lies and says her lover is somewhere far away living comfortably. Either Alabaster feels he’s too old (despite Smaragdi being far older), or he’s too busy accompanying the Ring King to rekindle their romance.

Jade finally grows up and sees Nef off with a hug, and Nef joins Satou’s party as his second wife, a fact both Hime and Satou will probably continue to struggle with. On to the next princess!

Tales of Wedding Rings – 03 – A Cage of Wind and Stone

After the Maiden of the Wind Ring Princess Nefritis Lomka flees, her older brother Prince Jade arrives and tosses Haruto in a cell for a period not to exceed eighty years. Jade is a serious siscon, and even if he didn’t feel she was too young (54!), he insists that Nefritis doesn’t have to inherit the Wind Ring. As long as the Tempest Wall is in place, their people are safe.

Haruto is busted out by a busty elder she-elf, who takes him to the Temple of Wind to show him the location of the Wind Ring: in the hand of Nefritis and Jade’s parents, turned to stone but still continuously maintaining the Tempest Wall. When Nefritis shows up to pray to them, she over hears Haruto and the Elder, and when she spots him, she faints on sight.

The Elder takes Haruto and Nef to a secure location and bids him good luck in winning her over. And while she vomits all over him shortly after regaining consciousness, he’s able to assure her he means her no harm. He learns Nef is actually quite curious about the outside world, including the one he comes from, thanks to the books the Elder has lent her. She even expresses an earnest desire to visit his world with him someday.

But being curious about the world and actually stepping outside are two different matters. When Prince Jade and his guards flush them out of the Elder’s treehouse, Nef is ready to assert her own will, as Haruto encouraged, but is quickly strong-armed by Jade to return to the palace with him. He’s convinced the status quo is sufficient; Nef needn’t ever inherit the ring.

After reuniting with Hime (who admits she’s a bit jealous by his dealings with pretty she-elves), the Elder, named Peridot, tells them that it isn’t just Prince Jade keeping Nef from inheriting the ring. When her elder sister fell in love with a human traveler but rumors and suspicions led to his mysterious disappearance, the grief-stricken sister cursed and fled the village.

The ensuing fear of that curse led to Nef’s parents inheriting the ring in her older sister’s stead and using it to raise the Tempest Wall. Nef isn’t the only one afraid of the outside world; the entire village is that way. But like Rivendell, a beautiful elven haven cannot stand against the power of the Abyss King.

They may feel safe now, but if Nef doesn’t inherit the ring and the Ring King doesn’t marry her and gain its power, their ruin is as certain as everyone else’s. If Jade can’t be convinced of this, perhaps Nef can be made to realize she can’t keep her promise to her parents.