Happy Sugar Life – 02 – All Adults are Terrible

Are those bags of human remains Satou’s former classmates, Shio’s parents…or her former Aunt? Flashes back to her past seem to strongly suggest the emotional toll from that past is what molded her into what she is today, only clinging to normalcy with the knowledge there’ll be a cute Shio waiting for her at home…but how long will that remain the case?

It certainly feels so far like that aunt let her down after her parents died, and after having to deal with an awful adult in the cafe manager last week, this time Satou’s adult nemesis is a teacher at her school—one who the other girls fawn over for being “single and hot” but who is not only married with a kid, but gets off on the thrill of stalking girls.

This time, he stalked the wrong girl.

Satou pulls a personal alarm, and the teacher slinks away, and she’s able to get home to Shio and cancel out the adult’s bitterness with Shio’s almost overwhelming sweetness. The next morning Satou is at the gate of the teacher’s house, and his wife almost sees her unbuttoning her blouse.

Satou knows threatening an M like him will only get him excited, but she still does it to make it perfectly clear she won’t brook any more nonsense from him, especially comparing his version of love to hers. She also makes him dispose of her body part bags…which he also likes.

Meanwhile, we get some Shio day-in-the-life, where she tries to help out by cleaning but can’t grasp the need to plug in a vacuum, and has no idea how to cook. She also notices the locked door to Satou’s death room, and actually passes out when the outside balcony triggers a flashback of her own; perhaps to the time when Satou first snatched her.

Of course, it isn’t just adults who are awful on this show. Mitsuboshi, who starts work at Satou’s other cafe, may be a victim of an older woman (and the trauma makes him nauseous whenever another older woman touches him), but he privately reveals he’s a lolicon, with specific hots for Shio, who he knows from the missing posters Shio’s older brother has distributed.

Strange connections are made when Satou’s co-worker Shoko, then Mitsuboshi come across the brother getting beaten up by punks. The brother’s state of hygiene suggests his parents are dead and he’s all alone on the streets, desperate to find Shio. Mitsuboshi brings him to the cafe break room, where the brother starts muttering the same “marriage vows” she and Shio made.

All alone with the brother, who is a direct risk to her only recently-stabilized happy sugar life, Satou snaps into the mode she deems necessary to preserve and protect that life, and prepares to brain the brother with a crowbar. Does she end up killing him right there in her very public workspace?

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Aho Girl – 12 (Fin)

The final episode of Aho Girl falls on the tenth anniversary of A-kun and Yoshiko meeting when she and her mom moved in next door. Yoshiko sought a playmate, and it was derision at first sight for A-kun, a stoic, studious five-year-old. She treats every attempt to avoid or get away from her as a game, and never wants to stop playing. When she gives him a big long kiss, he uppercuts her into the sky for the first time.

Realizing the key to keeping Yoshiko away is physical superiority, A-kun begins rigorous training, Rocky-style. Alas, he ends up training too hard and passes out. He wakes up with Yoshiko on top of him, she stayed by his side for an entire day while he was out with a cold. He almost allows that she’s “not that bad” until his mom tells him she was kissing him the whole time. To add insult to injury, his punches can’t even faze her!

If fighting her doesn’t work, A-kun considers other options; after all, he can’t let this go on, lest he end up marrying Yoshiko and having idiot kids with her. So he turns into a demented pervert and chases her around, flipping her skirt, until she cries and he feels guilty for going to far. But even here Yoshiko manages to get the wrong idea, and apologizes for making A-kun “hold back”, removing her panties and putting them on his face.

Ten years later, she’s wearing those same panties (which don’t fit her anymore at all), still trying to play with A-kun when all he wasnts is peace and quiet; and after all these years he still wants to kill her. But if he’s honest, isn’t he glad there’s someone in his life to make things interesting? No. He hates her guts. But does he? Yes.

Re:Creators – 15

Hoshikawa Hikayu is the newest member of Team Meteora, but as she’s the heroine in a dating sim, nobody’s sure what use she’ll be quite yet, and in the meantime she’s very disoriented with everyone knowing who she is.

After a rare in-show flashback in which Blitz tries in vain to save his daughter Erina, he meets Hakua Shou, who is an enemy of Mirokuji Yuuya, since Yuuya killed a friend and a sister of his.

Off on her own, on no one’s side but her own, is Magane, living it up half-naked in a luxurious penthouse, bathing in cash and drinking milk by the quart. Watching horrific news stories on TV makes her giddy for the possibilities for mischief this world so readily presents to her.

She’s even more intrigued when Aliceteria shows up, asking her to “make things really fun”, as the knight is now willing to make a deal with the devil in order to stop Altair.

As Meteora develops a spell, based on newly-created material, that allows her to gauge public acceptance of the new character and story changes, Hikayu’s creator Ohnishi appears, and he’s a total creep and a pervert who initially doesn’t understand that Hikayu (and Celestia, and Meteora) are people and not playthings.

Kikuchihara manages to restore order by underscoring the importance of their collective mission. And while Meteora isn’t sure about a dating sim character suddenly gaining powers (just as she’s unsure about Souta’s contribution), Ohnishi says it’ll be no problem…with a “fan disk.”

Speaking of fans, Altair knows she has many, and they imbue her with new powers by the day, so many she doesn’t even know about some of them herself. Yet to Blitz, she still remains a character almost designed to be weak, like a kingdom created just to be destroyed. He couldn’t save his daughter, but he’s committed to saving her.

We’ve met some new people, checked in on all the existing people, and gained a few new insights into the coming battle, but the battle remains “months” away by Altair’s reckoning. It’s fitting Meteora brought up structure, because it will be interesting to see whether Re:Creators continues with the structure of this episode—shifting from one pair or group of people in a room talking to another—for the next seven episodes, or if, say, Magane makes things a little more fun.

Mahou Shoujo Ikusei Keikaku – 07

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After the ordeal with Magicaloid and Hardgore Alice, Koyuki wakes up in her bed, shaken but none the worse for wear, and in possession of a rabbit’s foot, a rare item Fav says belongs to Alice. Koyuki wants to return it, but wants nothing else to do with Alice, who freaks her out royally.

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When Calamity Mary gets wind of Magicaloid’s death, she seeks out Alice, but no matter how hard she tries, she just can’t kill the bitch. Riddling her with bullet holes? Nothing. Blowing her to a bloody pulp with a shotgun, machine gun, and grenade? Nada. Chopping her gooey remains to pieces, setting them aflame, pouring acid over them, burying them in a drum full of cement and tossing it into the ocean? Absolutely no effect.

Calamity Mary has finally found an implacable adversary, and it’s uncertain whether she’s excited or simply going insane from that prospect. It is interesting, however, that by trying to take out Alice, she’s showing a kind of loyalty to her former business associate. Honor among thieves and all that.

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Sazanami Kano AKA Ripple is billed as a main character alongside Koyuki, and we’ve seen a bunch of her, but didn’t know quite where she was coming from until this week. Her life is presented as a series of incidents where she can’t take it anymore, lashes out physically, and ends up alone.

Granted, people say and do awful things to her that warrant a good punching, but it’s clear she’s not exactly what you’d call fulfilled. Maybe she sticks with Top Speed out of a desire to connect with someone that still endures despite all the awful experiences she’s had with people…as enduring as Hardgore Alice’s invincible Terminator body.

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As for Alice, she confronts Koyuki, and won’t leave her alone even when she tries to run away, but while doing this makes her threatening, Alice takes no violent action against her. In fact, she’s adamant that she merely gave Koyuki her rabbit’s foot because “she felt like it.”

Maybe despite appearances she’s not someone Koyuki needs to be worried about. Swim Swim is another story, as the episode ends with her setting up an ambush for Nana and Winterprison, who are seeking unity in these troubling times.

As for Calamity Mary wanting to meet with Ripple, I’m not sure what that’s about, but surely someone has to bite the dust at some point, as there are currently more girls left than episodes.

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Momokuri – 25 + 26 (Fin)

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After Yuki presents Momo with a handmade cypress shoehorn (which is kinda the perfect weird Yuki gift for Momo), the episode ships our two lovebirds and their friends to a fancy hot spring, where Momo lets slip that he loves yuki (i.e. snow), but sounds just like he’s saying he lives Yuki the girl, which is fine with her but embarrassing to him.

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Yuki couldn’t be happier, but things get a little more awkward when Yuki comes into a room where Momo is surrounded by three girls, and she isn’t the slightest bit upset, even calling “too cute” that Yuzuki and Momo are so close, and reaching for her camera.

Momo storms off, miffed that Yuki wasn’t more jealous (or indeed jealous at all) by such an unfortunate sight. But he knows his attitude sucked back there, and when Yuki flags him down to talk, he decides he’ll do just that.

What follows is a lovely, poignant scene where he describes how he came to fall in love with Yuki, but expresses his worry it’s a different love from hers, and possibly in a greater amount.

What he learns is that Yuki’s love may be different (and a bit creepy at times), but she has just as much love for him as he does for her.

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And there you have it: now Momo knows Yuki’s “secret” obsession with him…and it’s perfectly okay. He’ll just be on his guard to stop her from collecting his garbage.

Momokuri was a cute, kind little show about a cute, kind, guy, short and easily flustered, and a slightly unusual girl who always sweats the details, start dating, learn more about each other, and fall deeper in love…in all its myriad forms. It was always a light, pleasant, feel-good watch.

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Momokuri – 07 + 08

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Rio’s long-distance admiration of Momo progresses when their eyes meet and Momo reaches out in friendship, seeing as how her two best friends know his two best friends. Momo also inadvertantly sets Rio’s heart aflutter when he compliments her height and figure.

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Of course, Kuri also knows Rio, and sees her as a potential ally in her quest to document Momo in every possible condition, such as, say, when he’s in the pool for P.E. Rio feels a hint of kinship with Kuri, but Kuri’s so damn much that it still weirds Rio out in a way Norika is clearly more used to.

Kuri’s desire to meet with Rio meant not walking home with Momo after a long time of doing just that (and only that), so when Momo sees Kuri with Rio, he gets jealous, and gets even more somber when she doesn’t walk with him to school.

Obviously, dude has no reason to worry, since he was the whole reason Kuri met with Rio to begin with, and when he brings up how he’s felt down while they’ve been apart, it gives Momo a nosebleed he quickly and expertly attends to.

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Hearing his lower voice, and his request she not call him feminine, Kuri starts to think of Momo as more than just cute, but also a boy, though she’s still not quite sure what to do about it. After a kick from Norika, she commits to asking him out on a proper date to the beach.

Before she can, Momo steals a march on her, inviting her to a BBQ, along with all of their mutual friends. They both revel in the fact they’re on the phone with one another, to the point Kuri thinks out loud, embarrassing both of them while at the same time being happy the words were said.

These two episodes felt a lot more like a single, standard-length one, and with the BBQ not happening until next week, Momokuri has gotten very serialized. As long as things don’t get too complicated or dramatic…that’s what Orange is for! I like Momokuri because it’s simple, pleasant, and light.

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Momokuri – 05 + 06

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Sakaki Rio, Yuki’s tall, cool, athletic new rival, probably thinks the world is out of alignment, and she simply needs to click it back into a place where she, not Yuki, is by Momo’s side, “protecting his smile”, as anime characters love to do.

That Yuki simply slipped into Momo’s good graces with her Poodle-Maltese-esque cuteness and outwardly easygoing nature; but she doesn’t deserve Momo; not really. He’s Rio’s small, cute animal to protect.

But at the start of the episode, she’s at a distinct disadvantage. She’s in the supermarket. Yuki ends up in Momo’s room, then bed, then enjoys dinner with him. Definite FOMO vibes coming off Rio.

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It wasn’t always that way. She joined the tennis club because Momo thought she’d look cool playing. Then he quit, and she got stuck practicing with the older girls that craved her athletic prowess.

She lost her “in” with him, though she’s still in the same class as him and accepts his offer of ice cream in exchange for her study cards. But it’s clear Momo doesn’t see her at all the way Rio sees him, which is more how he sees Yuki. To Momo, she’s just…a friend.

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Whereas Rio’s effort to get closer to Momo (thru tennis) fizzled out, Yuki has gotten to where she is through relentless effort and persistence, without ever exposing too much of her perv-ier side to Momo. More to the point, he’s all but blind to that side of her-like assuming she was feeling ill when he found her in his bed.

What’s amusing about these two is that Momo is often worried that he’s thinking impure thoughts or being pervy and tries to check himself, while Yuki leaps into that arena with such gusto, she often needs her friend to pull her out, by, say, tossing out Momo’s used straws.

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When she inevitably gets found out by Rio, Rio doesn’t turn it into leverage, because she can’t, not without revealing her own hand to Momo (or worse, coming off as mean or vindictive). She’s also clearly a little afraid of Momo’s intense observation and intel-gathering methods.

But Rio also knows that there’s more to Yuki than she thought …much more, though not all of it necessarily good. Yuki is right that Rio understands how she feels about the addictively-cute Momo, but the sheer intensity of Yuki’s obsession overpowers any resultant shame. Rio just isn’t wired that way, but they both like Momo, so it will be interesting to see how she deals.

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Prison School – 03

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Three episodes, in, and I’ve been subjected to three sickeningly funny, pants-shittingly good outings by Prison School…and hope is still alive that Kiyoshi will have his date! But while there’s plenty of sex and toilet humor, and enormous boobs to be had, there’s also taut, witty dialogue, tremendous voice performances, and a solid narrative replete with “cause and effect” situations. And holes. Lots of holes.

Cause: the guys peep on the girls. Effect: they’re thrown in Prison School. Cause: Kiyoshi escapes the scorn of his sweetheart. Effect: the date is still on, he just needs to break out. Cause: Kirihara also has a secret he needs to conceal. Effect: Kiyoshi’s Plan A fails, and he’s forced to move to a more daring Plan B.

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But those are just the main plot points. There’s also the fact that Shingo, Andre, and Joe start getting suspicious when Kiyoshi and Gakuto start spending so much time together, while they start to suspect Shingo is on to their escape plan. Then Shingo catches them in the shower in a couple of very compromising (but ultimately innocent) positions, giving Shingo the idea that his two friends have begun a physical relationship. And while his initial reaction is shock and horror, he accepts Kiyoshi for who he is. What a nice friend!

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As for the holes I mentioned, a change in their duties the day of his date means Kiyoshi must find an alternate covert route to his hole in the wall, so he uses a drainage channel. While hiding there, he comes across an even smaller hole, through which he can watch Shiraki doing Hindu squats, as is her wont, from the most favorable possible angle.

But again cause and effect rear their ugly heads: due to his position, when Shiraki’s stiletto slips and falls through a hole, it goes right into Kiyoshi’s hole. The resulting blood makes his friends, who’ve been told about him and Gakuto by Shingo, think he pitches as well as catches. But Shingo makes the excuse to Shiraki that Kiyoshi has hemorrhoids.

That segues nicely into Gakuto’s revised plan for Kiyoshi to escape: using an audio recorder with sounds of flatulance to serve as a diversion for Kiyoshi while he’s away. Only their internet access is restricted, so he must record those sounds himself.

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The Three Kingdoms-obsessed Gakuto is always extremely formal and archaic in his speech patterns and vocabulary, so when he and Kiyoshi discuss the pros and cons of what he’s about to do, it’s given all the pomp and heft of a far nobler venture than intentionally shitting oneself in computer class. Yet Gakuto sells the ever-loving shit out of it, cutting loose and producing the necessary audio to aid Kiyoshi—who is, after all, getting him his ultra-rare 3K figures.

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Cause and Effect strike again, when a weak-willed Kurihara, having dug up the booty pics he buried, re-buries them in concrete, he also patches up Kiyoshi’s escape hole. But Kiyoshi doesn’t despair long; he decides he’ll break out by dressing as a girl (snatching a uniform from the laundry truck that will come Friday) and walking out the front gate with the other girls. This is a very old, very stupid bit, but I have full confidence in Prison School to put its unique mark on it when the time comes.

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That confidence is even further buoyed by the final dramatic set piece of the episode, a masterpiece of movement, timing, and ecchiness. Gakuto, who seems a little more weary of Kiyoshi’s chances of success, seemingly goes nuts when he’s supposed to lay low, getting up in Shiraki’s crotch, being smothered in her bust, and finally pulling down President Mari’s skirt. What is his deal…has he lost it? Or is this another plan? Is he creating a cause for some intended effect? We shall see, my friends.

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Prison School – 02

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This week we meet Mari’s dad Kurihara (voiced by Fujiwara Keiji), the chairman of the school, and the man who allowed boys to enroll at the school in the first place. Kurihara has a very hilarious way of speaking, ending each sentence with a dramatic pause before delivering the final words like an accusation.

At first he looks like he could potentially be a useful ally to the guys, as he insists Mari at least give them the weekends off, opening the opportunity for Kiyoshi to have his sumo date with Chiyo after all. That impression doesn’t last long, however, as Mr. Kurihara immediately becomes more a liability than an asset (he left a web page featuring “latina asses” open on his computer).

Note he doesn’t rub this in her face; she finds it out by accident. But it’s enough to anger her into giving the inmates so much work they won’t possibly get it all done by the weekend. Kiyoshi’s dreams are crushed almost as soon as he let them take hold. Then he spots an anthill, and decides no matter what, he’s breaking out.

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My first thought was “okay, they’re totally getting their sentence doubled.” But this week doesn’t move too fast; instead, it delves into the difficulties of breaking out. However, Kiyoshi gets instant and powerful motivation when Chiyo herself tosses him the details of their date to him.

I’ve very glad there’s at least one girl at the school who doesn’t consider all men scum, and who is perfectly fine with Kiyoshi breaking the rules if it means she can enjoy a sumo match with him. And God, their little sumo-related (I’m guessing) “thank you” gestures are the most adorable fucking thing.

I still can’t see a scenario in which he’s able to get out without getting caught and having his sentence doubled or worse. But Chiyo makes it worth the risk.

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But as Kiyoshi continues to scrape a hole in the wall within the refuse shed, he gets the feeling Gakuto knows about his plan, because Gakuto pretty much tells him he knows about his plan (the dramatic expressions in this show are a freakin’ hoot).

Kiyoshi has another immediate problem: Hana. Her thirst for justice, honor, and equity in all things demands that because he saw her pee (never mind how accidental that was), she gets to watch him pee. And the more she tries to make that happen, the more excited she gets, the more it seems her interest in Kiyoshi goes beyond simply balancing the scales, demonstrating that the show is interested in presenting the perversions of both sexes, not just the lads’.

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There’s a lot I loved in this episode, but one scene I might consider my favorite is when Mari and her dad cross paths in the hall after school. When the book slips out of her dad’s hands and photos of butts scatter all over the floor; the looks and words that are exchanged; the dad’s final look at the camera as he finishes his lines with panache, it’s pretty much perfection, and it had me in stitches.

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Once again, an easily-avoided slip-up by Mari’s dad convinces her that the inmates need even harsher treatment, resulting in Shiraki Meiko using her new riding crop with gusto on Kiyoshi and Gakuto at once, with Gakuto taking “heads” and Kiyoshi taking “tails” in the worst way.

Kiyoshi and Gakuto’s plan to destroy the shed (so they can stay near his escape route without suspicion) goes off without a hitch, but they don’t count on Hana setting up a table and chair and supervising the repairs personally. She also brings enough tea to make Kiyoshi have to go really bad, something she’s determined to be present for.

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This results in the raunchiest and grossest set piece to date: when Hana gets impatient and tries to whip Kiyoshi out herself, he struggles, she trips, grabs what she can (his pants), pulls them (down), and in the commotion, Kiyoshi just…can’t…hold it in anymore. That brings us to a match cut to rival 2001’s bone-to-satellite transition—with Meiko having a most unladylike drink before hearing Hana’s scream.

By no means did Kiyoshi want to do what he did, and he’s clearly ashamed that it happened. Unlike the peeping, he had virtually no control of his role in either peeing incident. If anything, it will be that much harder for him to look at Chiyo without being subsumed by guilt, now that yet another secret he can never tell her about has come between them. Kiyoshi’s slow moral destruction continues apace…

There’s also the matter of him and Hana still not being completely even. If Hana believes in absolute, eye-for-an-eye justice, well then, she’d have to do to him what he did to her. In any case, Prison School has shown it won’t pull its punches.

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Kuusen Madoushi Kouhosei no Kyoukan – 01 (First Impressions)

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What is it: A combination of Chrome Shelled Regios (floating cities, giant bugs, flying battlemages) and Majestic Prince (a team of underachieving misfits with issues who need shaping up). The first episode is spent getting the group together, as former ace and branded traitor Kunata Age meets the three members of team E601, notorious as the worst in the Academy City of Mystogan, before being told he’ll be instructing them, to their shock and displeasure.

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Why I won’t be watching: There’s almost nothing remotely original about this show’s themes, setting, or characters. It’s about as predictable as these kinds of shows get, from girl-with-toast-in-mouth running into the guy resulting in inappropriate touching. What really got my goat was the fact she asked him if he thought she was flat, when she is clearly at least a C-cup.

The pseudo-Chuuni narcissist isn’t much better, and the less said about the nervous wreck that is the mousey blonde the better. The fact they all come to ridiculous conclusions about Kunata is surpassed by the utter lack of character in Kunata. He’s just sorta…around. Everyone calls him a traitor, without ever being told why, but it’s painfully clear he isn’t really a traitor.

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To its credit, the show gets off to a fast start, throwing us right into the middle of an aerial bug battle, but it’s apparent this show doesn’t have the strongest budget. But even a middling battle is better than the painfully slow remaining 9/10ths of the episode, which were just Kunata milling around bumping into the very girls he’ll be instructing.

I’m going to go for broke here and predict I won’t be missing much if I pass on KMKK, mostly because I felt like I’d already seen everything it had to offer, and in all those cases the stuff I’d previously watched was better. It wasn’t terrible, just extremely meh. It’s a big Summer. Don’t waste your time on this one!

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ISUCA – 03

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On the realization that last week’s romp wasn’t that bad, I’ve decided to share reviewing duties with Zane. And this episode wasn’t that bad either. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad. I can’t speak to how ISUCA compares to similar shows Franklin dropped, but I’m not willing to revisit those, and neither is Zane. Also, there are only seven episodes remaining, so it’s not like we’re wasting our lives here.

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Shinichirou (lets go ahead and shorten that to “Shin”) is excelling at his job as Sakuya’s trainer, to the point Nadeshiko has him move into Sakuya’s house full-time, something both of them are a little apprehensive about, because of the romantic tension and all. Their classmates can see the two have become an item; they’re just unaware of how strange an item they make.

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Anywho, we delve a little deeper into Sakuya’s family politics. Specifically, her cousin Suseri is going after her top spot. She’s also caught wind of Shin’s power, so despite being a sheltered girl unaccustomed to dealing with men in any way, it isn’t long after she introduces herself that she slips into his bath and starts washing his back with her boobs. She’s really sheltered.

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Okay, that’s pretty damn terrible, I know, but so damn cheeky and ridiculous that it circles back around to being kind of good, if that makes any sense (if it doesn’t, tough ^_^)

Also ridiculous and bizarre? When Suseri attempts to kidnap Shin (of course), her limo is suddenly pulled into another dimension where they are attacked by a pack of carnivorous gloom cars, the leader of which is a Honda S800 (thanks Zane). The badass Shimizu-trained driver is suddenly gooshed, raising the stakes nicely.

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Suseri isn’t strong enough on her own to defeat the Honda, so she demands Shin kiss her so she can power up. Before they can kiss, however, Sakuya looses an arrow between them, having broken through the barrier into this otherworld.

Nadeshiko then gets the bright idea to pile everyone into the limo, but doesn’t have the keys to start it (certainly a car that old could be hotwired?) Anyway, the Honda starts to crush them, and Sakuya conveniently ends up in the position where only she, not Suseri, can kiss Shin. When she does, the resulting powering-up destroys the evil Honda, and they return to the normal world.

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There, Suseri asks Sakuya once more if she’ll give her Shin. Sakuya refuses, but Suseri lets it go, but only for now; she still intends to usurp her. As for the man in the middle, Shin seems slightly more beholden to Sakuya, but if he had met Suseri first, I imagine he’d be more beholden to her. Still, as a high school guy with a cat-girl familiar who doesn’t wear underwear and two rich, powerful girls fighting over him, Shin doesn’t exactly have it that bad, does he?

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ISUCA – 02

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Every once or twice in a decade, the fates conspire to bring us a truly great and unique work of art that is so bowl-you-over astonishing, it captures the imagination of the entire planet. I think I speak to all who have experienced it that Isuca episode two is that…and more.

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High school girls undressing in the locker room? Pretty standard fare. But a carpet of rats suddenly bursting out of a locker, knocking the half-naked girls over, and proceeding to eat them alive as they’re sexually aroused? We’re at the pinnacle, ladies and gentlemen. Savor it…for it will never be this good again.

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Yes, that review above was just an illusion, borne from ISUCA sucking your life force right out of you. In reality, Preston has punted this to me. The thing is, it’s(uca) not as an excruciating ordeal as it sounds. This episode was mostly harmless, and surprisingly fun. Devoid of any semblance of weight or significance, yes; simple and innocuous, sure…yet sometimes rubbing up against something resembling slyness. In other words, it was a pussycat. A pussycat going commando.

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Tama, the two-tailed cat specter Sakuya is about to pierce with an arrow last week, becomes Asano Shinichirou’s familiar when he happens to learn her true name, after recalling a stray cat in a box that he must have cared for. She tries to help him deal with the Rat King baddie, but runs out of go-juice, AKA life force.

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Now that is simply a masterful landing, worthy of song; not to mention Tusk’s approval. To not only land face up from such a great height without breaking one’s back, but to have one woman’s face land on your crotch, and another girl’s crotch landing on your face, all inches from the bones of eaten classmates…I ask you: What else is there to say? #weareallasano.

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We learned from visiting her house that Sakuya is a hopeless slob, and so her and Shinichirou’s teacher (and associate of Sakuya’s family) appoints Shinichirou as her maid. But despite the squalor she’d lived in up to that point, she harbors an unreasonable fear or rats and cockroaches, rendering her fairly useless. This week she’s one of the people standing around while others do something.

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And that something is…making out, complete with tongue and drool. ISUCA would be a pretty workaday fantasy action joint, only it aims to distinguish itself by inserting sex pretty much anywhere it can, like a shoplifter stuffing Slim-Jims into their many trench coat pockets. This is not a new concept. But even with the silly ecchi elements, the danger has a nice sharp edge to it.

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Shinichirou’s life force turns out to be SURGE to Tama, who takes out the Rat King with laughable ease, and a fair amount of badassery. Only, when she’s back to her normal self, she’s holding her pray in her mouth like a cat, proud to be presenting a gift for her master (I know, it’s debatable whether that’s what cats do, but let me dream, man!). 

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So we have Sakuya the Slob hiring Shinichiru as her housemaid, and Shinichirou having Tama, whom he names “Tamako”, as his eternal retainer, who’ll have to periodically make out with him to stay alive, which is a pretty good deal, as they’ve each saved each others’ lifes at least twice at this point. That brings us to the fact that Tama is Special; a vessel for freakishly high-level spiritual power. And he makes a mean stir-fry.

Wait…is that RAT MEAT? WHAT IS THIS, SKYRIM?

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ISUCA – 01 (First Impressions)

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The rundown: One night Asano Shinichiro is captured by a specter but is saved by a mysterious ponytailed archer, who turns out to be his classmate Shimazu Sakuya, head of a clan tasked with sealing specters. When a powerful specter attacks the school, Sakuya is overpowered (and stripped down), but Shinichiro is able to rescue her. After they accidentally kiss, she levels up and successfully seals the specter.

What worked: Frankly, not a lot. After watching an episode of the caliber of Tokyo GhoulISUCA felt a bit…lobotomizing. The properly creepy centipede woman marks a promising start. There were also a few moments (just a few) in which the dialogue reached that difficult-to-nail Akame ga Kill! combination of peril and comedy. I also liked the two-headed cat design.

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What didn’t work: Hmm…where to start? Well, how about the beginning: We get a woman flashing her (censored) boobs in the first ten seconds. The school scenes prior to messed-up things going down are pedestrian at best. Shinichiro is a fairly valiant fellow and Sakuya is feisty and cute, but let’s not kid ourselves: we’ve seen these archetypes umpteen times, and ISUCA brings essentially nothing new to the table.

I won’t decry the abundance of fan service, seeing as how that’s one of ISUCA’s listed genres…but there was an awful lot of convenient physics in play, from lightning with the precision of a tailor to the face-crotch and kiss-fall. Also, the fact that having the life sucked out you being a pleasurable experience is clearly a shameless excuse for Sakuya to tilt her head back and make funny noises.

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The verdict: ISUCA has a few moments that are genuinely fun and entertaining, and quite a few more moments that are either exceedingly dumb or derivative or both. The ecchi elements vary from eye-rolling to smirk-worthy, while animation varies from crappy to passable.

I won’t be overly hyperbolic: this show wasn’t patently terrible, just…disposable. It’s just not anything that sets my heart ablaze. I’ll have no trouble waiting for the next episode. It’s watchable…if nothing else is on, and I don’t feel like using my brain for a half-hour.

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