Kaguya-sama: Love is War 2 – 07 – The Aquarium

LIW’s second season continues to take anime comedy to dizzying new heights and unexpected places. There’s literally no telling what it’s going to throw at you next, and that unpredictability combined with top-notch execution at every level of production means this is a show that keeps getting better and more entertaining.

We begin with Chika and Kaguya learning that Yuu is a briefs man, followed by his passionate assertion that boxer-brief men are nothing but “man whores.” Kaguya is determined to learn what kind of underwear Miyuki wears, she formulates an entire perverted plan in her head before rejecting it, showing just how demented by love she’s become.

Naturally, that same derangement compels her to ask Miyuki the question casually while serving tea, and Miyuki naturally assumes she’s talking about his preference in girl’s underwear. Not wanting to come off like a cad, he proceeds to describe girls’ bloomers (since anything he’d pick for Kaguya would be hot), but the same traits apply to mens’ boxer briefs, Kaguya loudly proclaims Miyuki is a man whore!

Suffice it to say, this is not proper behavior in the StuCo office of a prestigious school, but this is where Kaguya, Miyuki are. So it’s most inauspicious that Iino Miko should come through the office door just as Kaguya is yelling this, and Miko runs off in fear Miyuki will attack her “next”.

In the next segment, Kaguya offers to give Miyuki a hand massage as an apology for disparaging him. Her true motive, however, is to use the pressure points in his hand to secrete “prevent-men-from-cheating” hormones of the type released during “se-“.

Note that Kaguya can never complete the word “sex”, but only utters the first half of the word in a high-pitched voice that Hayasaka can’t help but imitate while explaining sex hormones to her.

The resulting hand massage is a stirring tale of two nervous systems. While Kaguya’s hands are small and soft, they’re causing extreme pain to Miyuki’s hand, releasing stress hormones like beta-endorphins and cortisol. Simultaneously, love hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin are being secreted in Kaguya’s brain. It’s as if the StuCo office has suddenly turned into a biochemistry lab!

With all those love hormones suddenly swimming in Kaguya’s already love-addled head, she gets a little more comfortable and offers to do Miyuki’s back. She ends up on top of Miyuki on the couch, which is again the precise moment Miko decides to enter the StuCo office.

Combined with all of the misleading things she hears from them (“If I feel any better than this I’ll die!”) the mere sight of two students going at it in the sacred StuCo office is enough to cause Miko to flee in terror once more. Miko’s minimal usage in these first two segments is truly inspired.

Not only is it a means of gradually easing her into the office (if she ever manages to set foot in there, of course!), but it shows just how unprepared an outsider like her truly is for the demented antics of that room. One does not simply walk into that room!

The opening moments of Segment #3 would seem to hint at a shift to a Kei-focused story, but she’s only there in order to pass on an accursed shougo manga that is 100% guaranteed to make you weep uncontrollably no matter how much or little you like manga or the shoujo genre.

A skeptical Miyuki is converted that very night, and decides that introducing the manga to Kaguya is the perfect strategy for getting her to ask him to go out with her so they can enjoy a flowey, lovey-dovey shoujo manga-like romance.

But as has been established from her taste in eyes, Kaguya doesn’t really go for common romantic archetypes, and proves a tough nut to crack even as Miyuki has both Yuu and Chika in full agreement that the manga is a must-read tearjerker.

The trio’s enthusiasm for the story causes them to leak too many details and spoilers, and the second-hand synopses still fail to move Kaguya. Heck, she can’t even understand what they’re saying once they’ve all covered each others’ mouths to stop blabbing.

It’s at this point when Miko enters the office a third time to find something strange and horrifying waiting for her. Then as the narrator declares the result (everyone loses but Kaguya), Miko asks if this is really “what happens at the end?” of segments, in a lovely breaking of the fourth wall.

However…this is not the end.

At this point the episode had a solid-“9” in the bag, but there was still a ton of time left after the end credits, so I was curious and excited about where it would go for the finale. It turns out Kaguya did end up reading the shoujo manga the previous night, and joins the ranks of her StuCo comrades (sans Miko) in the Shoujo Manga Brain club.

The next day is presented as an entirely different anime, one that is a straight-up high school shoujo romance with Kaguya as the heroine and Miyuki and Yuu as competing love interests. It’s as ambitious as it is hilarious.

Everyone’s character design has been “beautified” and their voices either more lovey-dovey (in the case of Kaguya) or more “cool-sounding” (the boys). Heck, even the damn narrator has “gone goofy!”

Once Chika arrives at school, we learn that the change in her personality is negligible, but she interrupts what was about to become fisticuffs between Miyuki and Yuu for the right to take Kaguya to the aquarium.

In the end, Miyuki wins out by insisting on valiantly escorting Kaguya to the infirmary hand-in-hand. He then manages to ask Kaguya to go to the aquarium with him, only for her to decline since, so overcome by longing for love, she already feels like she’s at the aquarium!

So Miyuki and Yuu go instead, and end up having more fun than they thought they would! Note that at no point did Miko set foot anywhere close to the StuCo office for this latest bout of nonsense. You know what they say: “Once bitten, twice shy…thrice traumatized.”

Classroom of the Elite – 08

This week begins with a production of Icarus in an unfamiliar venue—did the school have such a sumptuous theater?—and an ultimatum from Chabashira-sensei to Ayanokouji: try, actually make an effort to get into Class A…or be expelled. Someone outside the school wants him gone, but Chabashira is willing to let Ayano stay around—but only if he plays ball and makes it worth her while.

We then learn the entire school is not at school at all, but aboard a gargantuan luxury cruise ship. The luxury part comes naturally to the higher-ranked classes, but Sudo and his crew stick out like sore thumbs, while still others (Ichinose and Hoshinomiya-sensei) avail themselves of the fanservice spa facilities.

The only two people neither having a good time nor trying to have a good time are—you guessed it—Ayano and Horikita. They’re weary. This whole cruise has been free and there’s been no explanation for its existence…so what’s the catch?

While the two are sitting at a bar alone together, pondering that question, Ryuuen shows up and calls Horikita out for the camera prank that saved Sudo. Ryuuen is overly familiar and grabby, and returns Horikita’s disgust with a promise she’ll be seeing a lot of him.

They are interrupted by a very ill-tempered classmate of Ryuuen’s who is apparently sick and tire of “how he does things.” She’s flung aside by Ryuuen’s bodyguard Albert, but doesn’t give Ayanokouji anything when he asks what’s up, so all he and Horikita know is that there is tension within Class C.

Some use the cruise as an excuse to try to nab a romantic partner: Ike with Kushida (he chokes and settles for first-name terms), Sudo with Horikita (never gonna happen), and Sakura with Ayanokouji (she hesitates and is interrupted by Kushida).

Because Sakura can sense Kushida is hiding something behind her public image, she skitters off, and before long, Ayano also tires of her friendly girl act and starts to take his leave.

Kushida then changes tone for the first time since the first time, but doesn’t threaten Ayano, just gets him to acknowledge he’s weary around her, while she’s…well, she just doesn’t like being left alone so soon after showing up.

The episode’s title, “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here” from Dante’s Inferno, provides some early insight into what we and the students are in for. Those are the words inscribed on the gates of Hell, and Hell, albeit in the form of a gorgeous island, seems to be their destination (though none of these kids are anywhere near the middle of their lives).

Once they spot that island, the faculty announces a week-long survival test will take place on the island. I imagine then, that we’re in for some Lord of the Flies kid self-rule adventures next week, with all of the different character and class dynamics touched on this week and in weeks prior will come into play in an all-new, less academic setting. I look forward to it.