The Dangers in My Heart – 23 – Unmuddying the Waters

Another sports festival is upon this, the final one of junior high. When Kyoutarou thinks of how far apart he and Anna were during the last festival compared to now, he’s embarrassed by his old self. But while he and Anna are a couple now in all but name, his friend Adachi still likes Yamada, and challenges him to a duel during he festival’s mock cavalry.

Kyou takes this seriously, because he wants to win, even if he knows that winning and losing doesn’t matter: Anna likes him, not Adachi. When he encounters Anna on a walk (and talking to) her dog, she has a race with him, during much of which they’re holding hands, and which leads to her apartment, where she demonstrates the proper use of an ab roller at an extremely improper angle to Kyou!

While he’s there, she also asks him how he likes his tamagoyaki: salty or sweet. When he answers “I like them sweet” while lifting her dad’s barbell, there’s a brief break that makes it sound like he’s shouting “I like you.” The next day, Anna’s friends paint hearts on her face, while she draws something under Kyous headband, wishing him good luck in his duel.

After some fun bits with Kankan rigging the scavenger hunt to try to out them as a couple, to Anna’s parents participating, rain starts to fall when it’s time for the cavalry battle. Both Adachi and Kyou tell the teachers they’re good to go in the rain, and the battle is on. But more important than the physical part of the fight is the battle of words between the two boys.

Adachi comes out and says the obvious: he likes Anna. At the same time, he likes Kyou too and thinks he’s great and is glad to be his friend. Kyou calls him out for only liking Anna for her looks while not knowing much anything else about her, then contradicts himself by admitting Adachi loves Anna’s grown-up and hard-working nature. Adachi ends up grabbing Kyou’s headband and winning the battle, but as Anna rushes over to Kyou, he knows he’s lost the war.

Back in the nurse’s office, the setting for so many important moments in their romance, Anna presents Kyou with a lunch she worked hard to make just for him. It tastes delicious, a testament to the love she put into it and the love she has for him. When she leans in close, he feeds her some eggs, even though it was her intention only to look into his eyes.

Before leaving him to grab her own lunch, Anna turns back to tell Kyou with a bright smile that he was really cool. I’ll tell you what would be cooler: if Kyou can manage to ask her out and make them official!

The Dangers in My Heart – 22 – Slowly But Surely

The good news? Anna and Kyou are back in the same class for their third year (i.e. eighth grade). Moeko, Serina, and Chihiro are also back together with Yamada. The bad news? Their tacit agreement to keep a healthy distance in public is far easier said than done.

To whit: when Kyou first enters the classroom and Anna learns they’re back together, she calls him by his first name and rushes to him, taking his hands in hers. This gets them some unwanted attention from their new classmates.

Anna’s half-hearted attempt to declare she greeted the wrong person doesn’t fool anyone. Moeko, who at this point is like us in probably thinking just go out already, is happy to cover for Anna’s indiscrection by loudly proclaiming so everyone can hear that Anna has issues with personal space.

Moeko is also happy to be in the same class as fellow gyaru-adjacents Kankan and Kanzawa, and the former earns the moniker “celebration girl” as she spearheaded a flashmob that led to a guy and gal in her previous class to start going out. She wants to know if Anna and Kyou are going out. They discuss this in the classroom after class, where Anna was giving Kyou the gift of a wallet chain for his birthday.

The two hide together in a lectern, and after the girls leave, Anna asks “are we going out?” After a pause she adds that that was what the girls were talking about. As Kyou tries to climb out, his foot catches his chain, and down go his pants, just as Moeko re-enters the room. They’re lucky it was just Moeko, too!

Kyou continues to want to ask Anna out, but has unreasonably high standards for the conditions under which he’ll do it. Surely there are other places they can go than school, which is full of students, some of whom would love to get the scoop on them, like Kankan.

When she overhears Kyou asking to see Anna’s (physical results), they smooth over her suspicion by saying they’re following the task their homeroom teacher gave them to make new friends. To that end, Anna becomes Kankan’s friend by insisting on calling her by a special nickname (Panda) and stoking her long, lustrous hair.

Kyou reports that he’s grown 5 cm since the last physical, and his voice is just about done changing. Anna wants to commemorate his growth by marking his height on the wall. Kyou gets her to compromise by only marking the inside of the bookshelves. When he sees that she marked his spot with “Kyou”, he marks her height with “Anna”, which has her blushing and twirling around, light as a feather.

Kyou once thought he never wanted to grow up, but now he wants to be “closer to” Anna, “physically.” Yes, he’s talking about height, but c’maaaahn, we know he means in the other way too. Anna pulls him closer to her inside the library curtains, and this seems like as good a time as ever for him to say what he wants to say…

But they’re interrupted by a gust of wind and the presence of Hanzawa. She pretends not to react, so Anna re-closes the curtains so Kyou can continue. But the wind opens them again, and suddenly Hanzawa is right there, almost like a horror movie! She tries to withdraw smoothly, but trips over a stool, drops her book, and bangs into the door.

When seat assignments come, Hanzawa, who is clearly rooting for them, swaps her seat with Anna so she can sit beside Kyou for the first time. It’s almost too good to be true, and certainly consigns the whole “healthy distance” plan into the dustbin for good. Kyou starts worrying about worrying so much about their closeness that they start drifting apart, which is the last thing he wants and he also seems to recognize as a bad habit of his.

When he sees Hanzawa’s book on Anna’s desk, he sees a piece of paper sticking out. It’s a handwritten letter from Anna to Hanzawa, clearing up her and Kyou’s deal. As of April 10th, she writes, they’re not going out. But Kyou is very shy, like a cat. It’s taken some time, but they’ve slowly but surely built up their friendship.

The time they’ve spent and the closeness they have is “very important to her,” so she’d rather Hanzawa and Kankan not try some kind of flashmob thing on them. Anna also states that she plans to … but Kyou stops reading, afraid of what it might say. I can hazard a guess that she’s planning to ask him out when the time is right.

I feel like at this point, with Kyou trying and failing several times this week, it’s only a matter of time before one of them asks the other out. I think Kyou wants to prove to himself he’s capable of doing such a thing, but even if he doesn’t, I don’t see any problem with Anna taking the initiative. They’ve got three whole episodes for it to happen. I’m feeling pretty optimistic!

As for Kanzawa, it turns out she’s not a busybody, but genuinely curious about love. Even she, with her limited experience and inability to quite grasp the concept, can see it all over Anna and Kyou. Yet when Anna asks for her LINE so she can tell her all about it (implying that she, Anna, knows exactly what love is), Kanzawa gets overly flustered and runs off. No matter, she’ll be back!

The Dangers in My Heart – 21 – Thanatos vs. Pigman

Kyoutarou, which is what Anna has decided to call him now (and I hope he calls her Anna at some point!), wakes up to find her in his bathroom brushing her teeth. It’s like they’re already married! As is Kyoutarou’s M.O., he suspects this good fortune is some kind of a portent of doom for him.

Thus week, he finds a completely new thing to get worried about with Anna: social media, specifically a toxic fan on Twitter with the handle pig_man1209, or Pigman, who has a bit of an unhealthy obsession with Anna and is always trying to find out where she is, what she’s doing … and who she’s with. Kyou tries to tell this fan off (with the handle thanatos_moros), but gets blocked.

When Pigman learns Anna is filming in their hometown, Kyou can’t help but think like an obsessed otaku does, and fears that the fan might try to confront or hurt Anna. Sure enough, while on a video call with her as she’s sitting by the water, what looks like a shadowy figure in a hoodie seemingly pushes her into the water. The call goes dead, and Kyou is near death with worry.

Eventually he stakes out her apartment until her dad comes home, and nice guy that he is, he invites him in to warm up with some tasty soup. Anna’s dad then gets a picture message from Anna on her mom’s phone: it’s a map to Kyou’s house, and asking him to let the person who lives there know she’s okay.

Since that person is already at her place, Anna’s dad hands the phone to Kyou to call Anna himself. She’s fine and always was, it was her mother behind her, and she dropped her phone in the water. After they hang up, Anna tells her mom she likes Kyou, and Kyou tells her dad that he likes Anna. Pops’ response is to give him his monster hunt friend code.

The threat of creeps finding out where Anna is has not lifted, so when both Anna and Pigman declare they’ll be at a ramen stand of note in Mita, he rushes to her aid, only to find her with her model senpai, Nico. Anna momentarily pretends not to know Kyou, at least not too well, but when Kyou asks if he can have lunch with them, she agrees, and Nico looks annoyed.

When Nico is the person sitting precisely where Pigman said they’d sit at the ramen stand, he mutters “Pigman” to test her, and her reaction makes it clear SHE’S Pigman. He identifies himself as Thanatos, whom she blocked, and claims to be a fellow fan. After Anna finishes and steps out (this is the kind of place you need to give up your seat ASAP) Nico quietly fangirls out, declaring Anna “perfect”.

This actually comforts Kyou, who finishes his ramen next and declares he “won.” But he also won because he knows the real Anna, the very, very, imperfect Anna. An Anna just as imperfect as him, but one he cares for more than anything. To his declaration of victory, Nico simply tells him to place his empty bowl on the rail.

When Nico exits and finds Anna chatting with Kyou, she sees just a glimpse of that real Anna. It’s a face she’s never seen before, and she finds it even more adorable. When she takes her leave, Kyou follows her for a bit to warn her to stop posting Anna’s personal info, because that shit’s not cool. In response, Nico unblocks him and gives him her LINE ID, asking him to send her photos of Anna at school, which is also not cool, but regardless, Kyou now has the contact info of a famous model.

That point is driven home when the subway car home he and Anna are on is plastered with photos of Nico in cosmetics ads. Anna snuggles up to Kyou, apologizing for worrying him with her phone. He slowly separates himself from her and tells her that there are people out there who want to see “famous faces fall.”

Pigman wasn’t one of those people, but they are out there. So he asks her to be more careful what she posts, and to keep “some distance” in crowded spaces, implying that includes at least a bit of distance from him. Not wanting him to worry and wanting to “grow up” more, Anna promises to abide by those rules.

Normally, I’d say Kyou was being presumptuous in thinking her agency hadn’t already given her some kind of guidance on handling social media, but 1.) there’s no guarantee they did any such thing, and 2.) this is Space Cadet Anna we’re talking about. She’s happy Kyou has her back, and so am I. I just hope they can continue closing the distance .. when not in crowded spaces.

The Dangers in My Heart – 20 – Birthday Wishes

We begin with a White Day misunderstanding, as under his gyaru mom’s orders, Adachi tosses thank you cookies into Moeko’s shoe locker a little too nonchalantly, and they fall out. Just as Yamada and Moeko are rounding the corner, they see Ichikawa putting the cookies … into Yamada’s shoe locker by mistake.

Adachi manages to actually make Moeko look somewhat serious bless him, but when he leaves she still thinks they’re for Yamada from Ichikawa. When Yamada reads the lovey-dovey note, her face goes beet-red and her eyes do that tight-spiraly thing.

As the day the classes change nears, Chihiro tries some reverse psychology on the teacher, urging him not to put her in a class with Yamada, Moeko, and Serina. Unfortunately she just might get her wish! Ichikawa stays behind, feeling nostalgic about the classroom, when he gets a text from Yamada.

She’s still there too, and invites him to the gym for a one-on-one basketball game. While she’s got the length, she’s go to touch to her shot, and ends up scoring on a rebound from Ichikawa’s jumper. Ichikawa was going to ask her out if his shot went in, but instead Yamada claims the win and asks if it’s okay to call him “Kyou”.

Thing is, he didn’t need to make a shot to ask her out, he could just do it and she’d say yes. Oh well! At least when his birthday rolls around and he’s resigned to a quiet evening with fam, she sends him a photo of her fresh off a shoot looking super-cute by the sakura trees.

They meet up at the station, and on their way home, he notices she’s still calling him “Ichikawa.” Like him, she’s still very nervous about it. Then he senses someone following them, and he shields Yamada like her gallant knight. Turns out it’s just his dad!

When Pops tells Yamada it’s Ichikawa’s birthday, she’s invited to join the family for dinner, which Kana is super-hyped about, such that she gets all dolled up. When she learns Yamada is an honest-to-God pro model she feels silly and embarrassed, but she shouldn’t; her style rocks!

After a dinner of sukiyaki where Yamada only has a few bites (her saying she’s a “light eater” may just be the biggest lie she’s ever told), Ichikawa’s mom turns out the lights and brings the cake, humming the wedding march, definitely a subconscious slip-up with her son’s pretty friend present.

Yamada starts singing “Happy Birthday” and everyone joins in. After he blows out the candles, Yamada quietly whispers “Happy Birthday, Kyou” in his ear, leaving no room to mistake about whether she said “today.” Girl wants to call him by his first name. He’d do well to reciprocate!

Kana urges Yamada to spend the night, and she gets permission from her mom because she’s staying at a girl’s house. Yamada leaves out the fact it’s also Ichikawa’s house! Yamada has a bath first, and Kana gives Ichikawa some girl’s clothes and undies for Yamada to wear, then falls asleep.

Clearly Kana always intended to give Ichikawa and Yamada a chance to have a sleepover, once again demonstrating what a superb big sis she is. When Ichikawa pops into the laundry room to leave Yamada her clothes, the two are very aware that they’re talking while she’s naked in the bath, separated by a thin door.

When Ichikawa prepares to leave her rubber band by that door, Yamada opens it to make the exchange directly. The resulting postcard memory is so pretty it looks like a Renaissance painting.

Yamada is set up on the sectional in the living room, and when Ichikawa comes down “to get a drink of water” he sees her reading a script for a film she’s in that shoots in two days. She admits she’s having trouble being the rebellious girl because she never had a rebellion.

Ichikawa admits he did, but it wasn’t because he didn’t like his clearly very nice parents. Instead, he was mad about not letting himself be himself, and worried about not being a good kid. When Yamada hears this, she takes him by the shoulder and draws him into her chest, to wordlessly say “it’s alright” and “you are a good kid.”

The two remain seated together at the foot the couch all night, or at least until Yamada nods off. Ichikawa draws ever so close to her ear, perhaps planning to either kiss her goodnight or say her first name, but he draws back, tucks her in, and bids her goodnight before returning to his room.

Yamada, who was actually awake the whole time, opens her eyes, blushes, and smiles ever so softly as that trademark heart-soaring, often tear-inducing piano and strings plays them off. I daresay she wanted a kiss and to be called Anna. Hopefully Ichikawa, or should I say Kyou, musters the courage soon.

The episode ends with a gag, as Ichikawa realizes that since Kana’s undies are still in the laundry room and Yamada’s are still in the wash, Yamada is and has been going commando since her bath. Encouragement from the black-winged manifestation of his libido aside, he’d better not do anything with this information!

The Dangers in My Heart – 19 – Gotta Be Brave

He may not realize it, but Kana is right: her brother’s cool-as-hell speech from the heart may well make him more popular, such that he doesn’t have to creep around when the basketball clubs (boys and girls) invite Yamada to karaoke. Three third-years spot him and invite him in, but all it takes is a “What are you doing here” from Chihiro for him to immediately flee.

However, there’s no true escape for him, because Yamada already saw him. She joins him in the otherwise empty booth next door, and admits even she feels a little out of place with the others because she quit the club. She then has Ichikawa confirm he heard her say she likes someone, and tells him she’s been acting weird because she’s been so worked up.

That gives Ichikawa the courage to say he followed her to karaoke because he got worked up. Anna starts playfully poking at his back just when the third-year girls spot them alone together, and ultimately bring them back to the party where Ichikawa not only sings, but sings the dang theme song to the show!

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves: Ichikawa and Yamada like each other, but they’re not officially going out. They’re both shocked to hear that’s also the case with Hara and Kanzaki, when they invite the two of them out for a double date. Because they’re all new to double dates, Ichikawa and Hara end up meeting on the same train by chance.

Because it’s White Day and Ichikawa doesn’t have a gift, Hara helps shop for something appropriate. Just when she tries on a hat and he says “that would look cute” (as in, on Yamada), Yamada and Kanzaki appear. Both are clearly jealous, and not that subtle about it, though Yamada is more subtle by dint of not being surrounded by miasma.

It’s an imbalance and unforced error that could have been avoided if Hara and Kanzaki, not to mention Ichikawa and Yamada, met up with each other first. As usual, an sumptuous buffet lunch repairs Yamada’s mood, but introduces another complication: Kanzaki wants Hara to eat her fill.

We know Hara is trying to diet, and that she’s not doing it for Kanzaki, but for herself, to challenge and change herself. It’s her business! Yes, Kanzaki’s a good guy who doesn’t care whether she’s fat or skinny, but he’d probably prefer her as plump as possible, so he’s not an impartial party here! It’s Ichikawa who checks Kanzaki, telling him not to force his opinion on Hara, and Kanzaki acknowledges this.

When Ichikawa learns that like him and Hara, Kanzaki and Yamada ended up meeting by chance and did a little shopping (she helped him pick out the cutlery he gave Hara as a White Day gift), a surge of jealousy overcomes Ichikawa. He even goes so far as to declare “Yamada is mine!” which Yamada overhears, and her face instantly turns radioactive.

While Ichikawa decries him and Yamada as “hilarious”, Kanzaki tells him he might actually be a good fit for her. Hara and Yamada then set things up so Yamada “gets lost” and they have to “split up” to find her. Naturally Kanzaki goes with Hara, while Ichikawa goes off on his own, and is quickly scooped up by Yamada.

Yamada comes out and says that just because they hang out alone all the time with someone doesn’t mean they don’t want to keep doing it. She qualifies it by saying she’s talking about Hara and Kanzaki, but she’s fooling precisely no one. Then she asks what they should do next, Ichikawa retreats and says they should just go home.

He’s stuck in the feedback loop of constantly comparing himself unfavorably to others like Kanzaki. But while they’re initially separated on the crowded train home from Harajuku, when there’s a bump in the track Yamada finds her way to him, observing that it looks like he’s protecting something in his backpack.

Ichikawa asks if she has time once they’re off the train, and they go to the park as the sun starts to set, sitting at the same bench where Yamada gave him a homemade chocolate muffin for Valentine’s. He remembers how brave Yamada had to be, and sees all his comparing and jealousy for what it is: layers of protection against being hurt.

He decides then and there to stop thinking about all that, and think about Yamada instead. He gives her a muffin, also homemade, and she’s so happy she starts scarfing it down right there. He asks her to slow down, and she finds a little plastic pouch with something inside: a delicate chain bracelet with a bone (no doubt a nod to their matching dog keychains).

Suddenly worried that giving her jewelry was “weird’ somehow and starting to run off, Yamada easily catches up to him (longer legs), and asks him to  put it on for her. He does, and as her face lights up with joy she asks him how she looks, and he tells the truth: she’s so cute he could die.

This causes Yamada to tear up, but they’re not the same tears as when she talked about her past troubles with committing to things. Bully for him for recognizing the difference, and offering her a comforting arm. Just like he said in his ad-libbed speech, he has seen the light—and it is glorious.

There are only six episodes left. It doesn’t feel like enough. I want a third season, one in which these two are an established couple.

The Dangers in My Heart – 18 – Up to This

Just like that it’s the end of a term, and the teacher is asking Ichikawa to deliver a graduation speech for the departing students. Buoyed by Yamada’s approving looks he agrees to do a rehearsal, but he’s so nervous he speaks in a voice so small no one can hear. Now that he’s seen Yamada working hard with her modeling work, she wants to see him working hard.

He can do this, and she’ll support him all the way; she takes voice lessons, after all. Their moment is spoiled by the pickup artist walking into the gym and rejecting the confession of Mita, the girl he’s been stringing along. He tells her there’s someone else he really likes, and Mita knows he’s talking about Yamada.

Ichikawa decides right then and there that he’s going to stand proud and let Yamada see him make that speech in front of the whole school. He practices in front of his mom, and tries to recall his “old self” who was so confident (and arrogant) on the stage. He even gets a slick new haircut, though its full effect wears off after just one day without product added.

The day of graduation, Serina borrows gel from another boy and tries out some styles on Ichikawa, showing off her passion for hairstyling. I liked the bike gang look, personally!

While the other girls are focused on Ichikawa, Chihiro stares off into the distance, realizing that they may get split up in Year 3. Yamada sees the panic in Ichikawa’s eyes and leans over him, but he tells her they’ll be fine. He doesn’t know how yet, but it doesn’t hurt to believe.

Unfortunately, at some point during his morning routine Ichikawa switched out his speech script with his hair salon notes. He calls Kana, who is on the case. Even when she gets lost, she happens to encounter her co-worker who knows the way (and now I ship these two!)

Ichikawa doesn’t tell Yamada that he doesn’t have his speech, and doesn’t want to hear that he can do this, but that’s not what she softly, gently says into his ear. Instead, she simply says “It’ll be alright.” She then hands him her dog keychain for good luck.

As zero hour arrives and Kana still isn’t there, Ichikawa dreads going up on stage and suddenly acting like a chuunibyou with an arm outside his control. When his tearful teacher spots him, he shuffles him onto the stage early.

That’s when Cooltarou appears before him, assuring him Yamada and his teacher wouldn’t cheer him on if he wasn’t up to this. Not only that, but the person who trusts and likes him most of all isn’t his teacher, or his sister, or even Yamada, it’s him. This is to say, Ichikawa Kyoutarou likes himself. He just had to be reminded of that.

He proceeds to speak loudly, clearly, and confidently on the stage, as Yamada, Kana, Hara, Moeko and Serina watch in rapt awe and pride. Even when he runs out of the speech he memorized, he gives Yamada a nod and he keeps going, drawing from his extensive manga consumption to deliver one hell of an inspirational capper to the speech.

He tells those who are graduating that they must take those scary steps forward themselves, not run away, for they’ve already seen the light in their friends, family, and teachers. He tells them to try new things, learn to love themselves, and treasure all they have come to know. As Moeko says, it sounds as much like he’s graduating as the third years.

The energy he exerts also results in him passing out bakstage shortly after completing the speech, which gets thunderous applause. He comes to in the nurse’s office where Yamada is by his side. They’re interrupted by the pickup artist, who asks to talk to Yamada. Ichikawa tosses her back her dog keychain (which worked for him) and says he’s going to sleep some.

The pickup artist is fine just saying what he needs to say right there. As Mita and Moeko listen in from the hall, he says he likes Yamada. He prefaces this confession with some legitimate explanations that go beyond just thinking she’s cute; clearly he’s been watching her and knows more about her than most.

He’s happy she noticed he still likes soccer, and also happy to see her working so hard and finding success. But most importantly, he likes her, and wants her to have his graduation button. Obviously, she can’t accept it. As her eyes fill with tears, she declares she likes someone else, and clutching the keychain, says her “hands are full”, and she “can’t hold anything else.” A line from her acting job, or words from the heart?

Regardless, when Ichikawa hears Yamada say these words, he remembers other moments with her and comes to the realization that she likes him, leading to the reveal of the episode’s title, “Yamada Likes Me.” Firmly rejected, the pickup artist tries telling her that Ichikawa gave him her contact info, but Yamada doesn’t buy the last ditch chaos tactic for a second.

Not ten seconds after pickup artist fucks off to lick his wounds, Ichikawa and Yamada also leave, mere seconds apart, and walk away…in opposite directions. Ichikawa is blushing heavily, while Yamada’s face is a strawberry with spiraled eyes. Clearly they need to process What Just Happened!

But what’s been said can’t be un-said, and now Ichikawa and Yamada find themselves in new territory. Things are about to heat up, so here’s hoping they can stay in the kitchen. They just need to remember their own advice: It will be alright.

RABUJOI WORLD HERITAGE LIST

The Dangers in My Heart – 17 – Not Playing Around

Yamada is fishing through her absolute mess of a backpack to find one of two tickets she has for a movie she wants to see for acting research. She realizes the second ticket is in the cardigan she’s having Ichikawa wear to look more grown-up.

Old Ichikawa would have let Yamada leave disappointed, but Ichikawa grabs her wrist to stop her and asks if she wants to see the movie together. Obviously she does, even apologizing for making him ask. But the point is, he did ask.

Ichikawa was worried about a celebrity like Yamada being caught riding double on a bike, but feels just as uneasy about being on what looks an awful lot like an after-school date (which is what it in fact is). He prepares to go into Stealth Mode, only for the first restaurant Yamada picks to employ Kana.

Kana is a combination of proud of her brother and jealous that he appears to be livin’ the life, but scolds him for wearing his school uniform on a date. He’s similarly torn between being embarrassed and annoyed by Kana and that mixture of pride and admiration of watching someone close working hard at their job.

This sentiment gives Yamada an opening to invite him to her next photo shoot that Sunday. She wants him there, and she won’t brook any half-assed noncommittal answers, so he agrees.

At the theater Yamada buys a large bucket of popcorn with the full intention of sharing it. When she realizes she’s on the side of Ichikawa where his hair hides his face, she switches to his other side so she can see him. She mentions how she’ll be in Hiroshima to shoot the movie based on the book Ichikawa read (though her character isn’t in the book).

He notices how quickly she talks about something she likes. I couldn’t help but think she’d talk just as rapidly and excitedly about him. While watching the movie, Ichikawa is reminded of a horror movie he only watched because it had “Akino Anna” in it, and even in a bit role as a mean girl who died early on, he could tell she had legit acting chops.

After the bittersweet end of the film when the love doesn’t work out, Yamada is in genuine tears before checking herself, worried that perhaps the movie wasn’t Ichikawa’s cup of tea. Ichikawa mutters that he wants to get to know her better. Since this is part of that, it’s fine.

To that end, Ichikawa wakes his sister up briefly at 7 AM to make sure his outfit doesn’t look weird, and he buys a cute little treat for Yamada at a konbini on the way to the site of the photo shoot. When he arrives, he sees a sight few get to see: “Akino Anna” live and in the flesh, in all her resplendent, elegant, sophisticated beauty.

The entire milieu turns out to be a bit too sophisticated for someone with Ichikawa’s inferiority complex. He suddenly feels like a little kid among hardworking serious grown-ups. He feels like he’s in the way and an eyesore, so he runs away. No matter how much progress he makes, there are dangers in his heart that cause him to backtrack.

He’s arguing with his cool imaginary self, who asks him if he truly thinks what he feels for Yamada is simply “child’s play” when suddenly an out-of-breath Yamada interrupts, asking him if he’s okay. She asks if he’s not having fun after all.

Then she tells him that this was also one of those things she tried that she considered giving up on. After all, she wasn’t great at it at first, and saw that there were cuter, prettier girls and better and funnier actors. It was only when Ichikawa told her she likes what she does that she decided to stick with it.

Ichikawa sees that Yamada is happy, and so he should be happy too. He imagines the Yamada beside him in her regular school uniform, but if she went back to being just that, he admits he would have never fallen for her like he has. So he grabs her by the hand and runs her back to the shoot before she gets into trouble.

Upon returning, a handsome young man with terrifying eyes sees them holding hands. Ichikawa breaks away, but Yamada grabs his hand back, and the man says he doesn’t look like “an ordinary friend.” Yamada introduces him simply as “Ichikawa”, and the man gives him his card; he’s Yamada’s producer.

When Yamada’s stunning hooting partner appears, she’s wearing an expression made for a magazine cover, only to collapse onto Yamada’s lap and start crying about how her taxi driver ignored her. Even here, among such fashionable grown-ups, people can act like kids! As the shoot continues, the manager tells Ichikawa straight-up that he has a “massive inferiority complex”, which … guilty as charged!

But he assures Ichikawa that he doesn’t know anyone more honest than Yamada, who considers him her “pride and joy.” He then mentions how Yamada is at an important stage, and her relationship with Ichikawa might “hinder her work.” Ichikawa stops him there, saying “they’re not going out or anything.” Yet, Ichikawa! You’re not going out YET!!

On the bus ride home together, Yamada asks Ichikawa how the shoot was, only for him to talk about other stuff about the shoot, rather than how she looked. But then he takes out his phone and shows her a candid photo he took of her.

Yamada says he should have taken one when she “looked better”, but he responds, without a hint of guardedness or fear, “Why? You look so pretty.” Yamada’s eyes light up joyfully just before he realizes what he said and the onset of acute mutual bashfulness kicks in.

I don’t like the idea posed by the manager that Ichikawa going out with Yamada would hurt her career, because that sounds like another excuse for him not to go after what he’s already decided he wants, for fear it might not work out or he might get hurt.

If I were there, I’d tell him not giving it his best shot and seeing what happens, and later torturing himself over what might’ve been, would be a far worse outcome! So hopefully he stays strong and true to what he desires … and if he should ever falter (and I’m sure he will), Yamada will give him the nudge(s) he needs.

The Dangers in My Heart – 16 – Not Enough Hours in the Day

Valentine’s Day is here, and the boys who don’t have girlfriends want to ban obligatory chocolates so they don’t get the wrong idea or their hopes up. Meanwhile, Yamada chooses the sweetest (no pun intended) way to give Ichikawa chocolates: by playing “chocolate shogi” with him and resigning, thus pushing them all towards him. While this takes a lot of effort and courage on her part, Ichikawa seems not much more than bemused.

The more he thinks about it, the more he wonders why Yamada would give away her precious snacks, and chocolate no less. After school she grabs him and they both watch Hara giving Kanzaki chocolates, leading Ichikawa to wonder why they did it at school, a “place of learning”, when there are plenty of off-school hours in the day to do it.

Yamada isn’t satisfied she’s spent enough time with Ichikawa today, so she hops on his bike and asks for a ride. That leads to a trip to the konbini so she can buy a heart-shaped chocolate-filled bun. She asks Ichikawa what kind of chocolate would make clear it wasn’t obligatory. Ichikawa says he honestly might not know unless he was told so.

Back in class, Adachi thought if the chocolate was heart-shaped. Going off of that, Yamada presses her bun into Ichikawa. When she pulls it away it leaves a glob of chocolate, and she leans in for what Ichikawa thinks might be a kiss. Instead, she presses her finger on the chocolate and draws a heart, liking the excess and then jogging off.

Remembering what Yamada said about “being a boy for the day”, Ichikawa runs back into the konbini and buys her some “Meltykiss” brand chocolates. He just happens to bump into her because she was pondering whether to give him a chocolate cupcake she made especially for him. He leaves before she can do it.

No matter; Yamada makes use of every hour of the day she can. Just as Ichikawa is cursing himself for giving her something so embarrassing, she texts that she’s outside and wants him to come with her as she walks the dog.

After “gambling” at the vending machine and “winning” black coffee, they sit at a park bench. Yamada starts bringing up all sorts of conversation topics in quick succession, which Ichikawa immediately picks up as weird. When Yamada says she is weird, talk finally turns to chocolates.

Yamada asks if he got any chocolate, and he said no, discounting the chocolate she gave him. He asks if she gave any, and she makes clear she didn’t give out any obligatory chocolates. Ichikawa then has another sip of his bitter black coffee and owns up to lying about not liking sweet stuff.

This finally gives Yamada an opening to give him the cupcake, and even Ichikawa can’t fail to notice there’s something different and important about this chocolate, especially when she says, summoning all her courage, “It’s okay to get the wrong idea.”

She splits the cupcake in two, eats her half, and starts to sob because she “couldn’t get it right.” But after having a taste, Ichikawa admits it’s legit good. Yamada asks for another hug, and Ichikawa gives her one as she sits, making him the taller one.

Back home, he takes another look at the cupcake with the powdered sugar stenciled design at the proper angle so he sees what he couldn’t see on his face earlier: a heart. Yamada gave you chocolate. She said she wasn’t going to  give anyone obligatory chocolate. She knows a heart means the chocolate means something. This chocolate has a heart.

The episode title, “Yamada Likes…” can’t quite finish that phrase, but it’s pretty doggone clear who she likes!

Remember the self-important dick who used other girls like tools to try to get closer to Yamada? I’d honestly forgotten him, and so did Ichikawa, bless him. Adachi seeks advice on a White Day gift for Sekine, who hasn’t broken it to him that the chocolate she gave him was only obligatory, but isn’t about to turn down a gift!

Adachi goes to this guy, whom he knows to be “popular with the ladies”. Everything this guy says is curtly contradicted by Ichikawa, who inadvertently lets on that he got chocolate too. As Adachi heads off to practice, Ichikawa is left with this guy.

When Yamada beckons and waves to Ichikawa, this guy is about to wave back, but Ichikawa blocks his wave with his own very emphatic wave. Yamada blushes and slams the window shut, and before you know it is rushing in to rescue Ichikawa from this guy. She waves back at him, but pointedly doesn’t say matane (see you later); she says sayonara, which has more finality.

The Dangers in My Heart – 15 – Trying for What He Wants

Valentine’s Day has arrived, and the girls want to get together to make chocolates. Yamada suggests her place, and invites Ichikawa too. When he encounters Serina and Chihiro outside Yamada’s place, he pretends to just be passing by, but thankfully his wingwoman Moeko shows up to drag him along. When they’re greeted at the entrance by Yamada’s mom, she makes a concerned face when she notices a boy is among them.

Thinking fast, Moeko takes Ichikawa’s arm and says he’s her “bae.” Mom seems appeased, but Yamada is understandably less enthused. The ensuing chocolate making progresses with not-great-to-bad vibes, not just because Yamada’s mom is loitering around. Finally, it’s Serina who shouts that “this just isn’t right,” obviously referring to Moeko’s ruse.

Ichikawa naturally believes his presence is what’s causing the awkwardness, and even though Cool Kyou tells him to set things right, he chooses an Irish exit instead. When Yamada’s mom notices him leaving, he admits he’s not Moeko’s boyfriend. That’s when Mom realizes that this is the Ichikawa Anna talks so much about. With the ruse lifted, Ichikawa comes back in.

By then, Yamada’s dad has appeared, and he resembles a giant Ichikawa (now we know where Yamada gets her impressive height). Just as Ichikawa developed a sour look and hid an eye in his bangs as a defense mechanism, belying his sweet nature, so too does Dad look a lot scarier than he is.

In fact, he’s elated to have another gamer in the house, though Yamada ends up grabbing Ichikawa’s controller and playing against her dad. This results in a beautiful scene of (hopefully) things to come, as Ichikawa is surrounded by Yamadas.

After the chocolates are done, Yamada pulls Ichikawa behind the curtains for a private tasting. He takes a bite of the piece she saved for him, which is very pointedly missing the full “obligatory” label, making it special. He declares it a bit too sweet, but she takes it from him and eats the rest (casual indirect kiss), then beams brightly, saying she’s glad he came.

That night she calls him and asks him what he thought of her parents. While scary at first, he admitted they were very nice and pretty much exactly what he expected her parents to be like. She says the same about how they regarded him, adding that her dad thinks his last name is Yamada (since they met in the elevator when he was wearing her jersey).

Kana is impressed by the strides her little bro has been making, even to the point she teases that he’s already built himself a harem. She then cracks open a 9% highball for herself and an amazake for him, and asks upfront, when he’s going to ask Yamada out. From what she’s seen, she sees no reason why he couldn’t.

Ichikawa talks about how he has no idea how she feels or what his “chances” are. When Kana says it’s fine, there are plenty of women out there, but he goes on, perhaps due to the effect of the amazake. He’s certain he won’t fall in love with anyone other than Yamada.

That said, he’s worried that as she keeps moving ahead and through mistakes, and keeps being loved by so many people, she may well end up somewhere far away, and forget about him in no time. And he doesn’t want her to. Kana being the Best Big Sister, tells him it’s not about “chances”, but what he wants to do. What he wants.

What Ichikawa wants, he admits to Kana, is to be Yamada’s boyfriend. And while the amazake may have worn off by morning, his feelings haven’t changed. Even if there’s no guarantee they have a tomorrow, in the meantime, he’s going to try for what he wants.

So on the way to school when Yamada decries the fact she hasn’t found out what chocolates to give “the guys”, he grabs her sleeve (a reversal of the usual), stopping her in her tracks, and tells her not to worry about the other guys. After some momentary shock, she smiles and nods her head in agreement. After all, this isn’t the story of her and the guys, but her and Ichikawa.

Ichikawa being so honest with his sister in admitting what he truly wants and deciding he’s going to at least try to achieve what he wants is a huge breakthrough. I’m sure he’ll try to backtrack a little due to his deep-seated anxiety about being hurt, but his actions and words this week have convinced me he will eventually confess to Yamada and properly ask her out … if she doesn’t beat him to it, of course!

The Dangers in My Heart – 14 – No Way Around but Through

After having a hot bath in a bathroom that smells like Yamada (which she sets up using a button on the wall—so cool) Ichikawa not only finds that Yamada’s gym clothes are the only ones waiting for him, but he has to go commando! When Yamada’s Corgi tries to pull his pants off, Yamada provides a key assist, while also resulting in a warm embrace.

While Yamada prepares hot pot she admits she usually eats alone before dinner, she provides a yearbook to show Ichikawa Lil’ Yamada, whom he can pick out of the photos even faster than she did with his. When he spots her piano, she says she tried it for about a year, then quit, then goes on to mention that she’s tried and quit a lot of things over the years.

She’d always quit when she got frustrated with others getting better at whatever it was than her. This leads her to start crying about becoming a burden to the great people she’s come to know. Ichikawa tells her that if people have had “enough” of her they’d be straight with her.

That leads her to bring up the two days he didn’t show up at the library as a time when he couldn’t be straight with her because he was too nice. When she starts crying even harder, Ichikawa reflexively hugs her. This is exactly what she needs, and once she has a good cry, they enjoy some hot pot together.

When she asks why she’s worrying about stuff like this when she’s always been this way, she blushes and definitely looks like she’s about to say “because I met you.” But Ichikawa suggests it’s because she’s growing up, and her parents treated her when she quit knowing she’d cheer up and keep trying new things.

When Yamada’s mom comes home, Ichikawa doesn’t want to be seen in her Yamada’s clothes, so she stashes him in her room and explains the shoes and second bowl as Chii being over. Ichikawa apologizes for making her lie, but after falling on top of him (as “payback” for when he did it to her), she says it’s fine, because as he said, she’s “grown up, now.”

The day finally arrives when Ichikawa can remove his arm cast, but something is going on with his voice. When he doesn’t greet Yamada or look at her that morning, she texts him that he could at least make eye contact, which he immediately does. Of course, he wants to talk to her, but can’t because of how weird his voice feels and sounds.

Yamada and Ichikawa end up becoming sparring partners in class when Yamada avoids everyone else due to her unusually stinky school judo suit (Hara’s reaction to smelling it had me rolling). After some playful foot-fencing, Ichikawa backs her up against a wall, asking if he only chose her because her suit smelled. But that wasn’t the only reason, and she pays him back at once by pushing him back and putting him on the ground.

As he says to Cool Ichikawa in his bedroom, Ichikawa is still under the mistaken impression that Yamada sees him as a friend who happens to be a guy, rather than a guy she likes and wants for a boyfriend. Because Yamada and Ichikawa are more alike than he originally thought, you’d think he’d think that part of the problem is that she, like him, is afraid enough of being hated to be hesitant to take that next step.

Cool Ichikawa knows better already: he’s got this, with “this” being Yamada. It’s not only the things they’ve done together, but the things she’s said to him that she’s never said to anyone else. At least Ichikawa is no longer always looking for an exit; he realizes the only way around this is through. That’s why I expect him to eventually realize he isn’t just like one of her girl friends.

When he tells her his voice must be changing, he also shows her his arms, the one in the cast being skinnier. But instead of thinking that arm got weaker, she believes his other arm simply got stronger, because he’s growing up. As she holds his arms out, she leans toward him and tells him he’d better say her name as often as possible once he gets his deeper voice. By leaning in, his hands brush against the sides of her chest, and he realizes she’s growing up too.

The Dangers in My Heart – 12.5 (Special) – The Little Things

This compilation of web shorts cleverly titled “Bonus Dangers” serves as an delightful sampler of amuse-bouches that delivers a rapid-fire assault of romantic adorableness.

Ichikawa manages to finally say “Good Morning” to Yamada; we learn Yamada has AB blood while he and Kana have B; he has his mom buy him an oversized gym uniform in case Yamada needs to borrow it; Yamada asks if he’d be able to kill her if she turned into a zombie (yes, but he’d kill himself right afterwards!)

There are little captured moments of their evening texting; Yamada ensures she and Ichikawa order different buns so they can each try both, resulting in indirect kisses; after cleaning duty, Yamada whisks him away hand-in-hand; we learn that Yamada wouldn’t be able to kill Ichikawa even if he became a zombie.

Finally, while he’s unable to say “bye-bye”, he does manage a “see you later” that makes Yamada beam like crazy. After the credits there’s a Christmas-themed bit, as they try to see if Yamada’s red stocking will fit on her foot.

It hasn’t been long since I caught up on Dangers, but this lovely collection of heartwarming little moments only further heightens my excitement for the upcoming second season.

The Dangers in My Heart – 12 (Fin) – Showing It All

Ichikawa thought he was pretty clever, booking his first shrine visit with Yamada a half-hour after his family’s. Master planner, this guy! Except he forgot that Yamada is always super early for everything where he’s concerned. His mom is the first to spot her, and then Kana gets a look at her, looking like a girl waiting for someone she likes. Oh, she is.

There’s no way for him to weasel out of this: his family and Yamada shrine visits are now merged. Also, Kana is totally and inescapably crushing on Yamada right from the get-go, and I not only can I not blame her, I salute her. She is a gal of refined taste. That said, Kana is plenty cute herself! I love how closely her outfit resembles her brother’s here. Oh, and he’s gone full Mikasa with that scarf.

After polite introductions —I love Ichikawa’s nearly-invisible pops asking “who is this?”—Yamada hangs back to give Ichikawa a playful shove, calling him out for the double-book. Thankfully, the other Ichikawas give the couple some space to pray. When Ichikawa can’t put his hands together, she puts her hand on his and they pray together. So damn cute.

When Ichikawa’s folks head off for lunch, Kana decides to stay with her bro and track down Yamada, wanting to make better first impression. Instead, she gets a new impression of Yamada, as she’s already stuffing her face with fried food. I love this. First she got the stunning model side, then her messy glutton side. Both sides rule.

Kana is no idiot, and when she heard Yamada say (with her mouth full) that she got some food for Ichikawa, and also saw her looking in her mirror, checking her makeup and smile, it clicks for her: her brother is not on a romantic suicide mission. He’s really got a chance!

Kana invites Yamada to their house, but as soon as Yamada takes off her coat he sees she tied the dog keychain to her belt loop. To keep Kana from seeing it, he ends up making a gesture that looks like he’s slapping her hip, embarrassing everyone.

Kana serves Yamada some leftover new years soup which she loves. Ichikawa thinks how cute she looks, and then Kana vocalizes it. She also gets a hit of Yamada’s endearingly guileless ego when she says a lot of people call her cute, and Yamada is just like “Yup, they do!”

When talk turns to how Kana should address Yamada, thinking last names seem too distant, puts Ichikawa on the spot. Both she and Kana want to hear him squirm, but Yamada also really wants to hear her first name in his mouth. When he gets it out, she flashes a warm, appreciative smile.

Kana then breaks out the albums, showing Yamada a even tinier, cuter versions of her and her bro. Ichikawa thinks he looks the same in his grade school pic, but Yamada thinks he’s completely different. I tend to agree. Then Yamada accidentally treads on a sore subject when asking about the class excursion, which Ichikawa never went on.

Reading the room, Kana elegantly excuses herself, but before she leaves, she earnestly thanks Yamada in the entryway. She can tell her brother is happier, and she knows why. She’s happy for him is all.

I’m not surprised Yamada asks if she can call her onee-san, because she’s an awesome onee-san! Kana even leaves her keychain behind for her brother, having spotted the matching one on Yamada. Now he and Yamada match, and Yamada’s never gonna be mad about that.

Yamada is eager to learn more about Ichikawa, and ends up following him to his room. She finds another photo of him in the yearbook, noting that he friend Chii went to his school, “not like she was looking for him in her yearbook (she was)”.

While he’s worried about any lingering evidence of jackin’ it, she insists on sitting as close beside him on the bed as possible. When she sees what look like Ichikawa’s two friends in that photo, he says they drifted away when they went to private school.

Yamada gets up an admires various trophies won in what he calls his “glory days”, and then Yamada finds his armor: the book about murders he carries to keep others away. For a beat, he waits for her to react, but of course she reacts how you’d expect: excited, a little impressed, and eager to learn more.

Heck, she even jokes about having a double life as a murderer; how would he know? As she does so, she lies back on his bed, making herself comfortable, and spots the corner of a girly mag under his sheet. Ichikawa panics and gos for the mag, but ends up right on top of Yamada. Every second they linger in this position, the tension rises, until Yamada slowly gets back up and off the bed. Too soon for … for That!

Ichikawa is scandalized, and feels like her spotting his mag turned her off him completely, but that’s not the reason for her haste. Whatever her goals were today, she achieved them, and doesn’t want too go too far too fast. Ichikawa feels the same way.

No, after snapping his yearbook pics and heading down the stairs, she tells him she looks forward to showing him her yearbooks next time. Ichikawa takes that for what it is: a enthusiastic future invitation to her house.

The morning of his first day back after winter break, Ichikawa wakes up from unpleasant dreams of his past loneliness and isolation, and finds a shirtless Cool Ichikawa standing in his room. He’s shirtless because he represents Ichikawa’s heart, which he wants to bear. Ichikawa wants to show everything he is to Yamada.

Due to his arm injury, Ichikawa’s mom drives him to school, and Kana tags along to wish his little bro well—and probably to catch a glimpse of Yamada. She gets that wish as Yamada leaps out from behind a car to greet him, then says good morning to his mom and sister.

Yamada inspects him and notices he’s missing his dog keychain. When he produces it, she attaches it to his button. The bell is about to ring and everyone else is inside, so Ichikawa deems it the perfect time to show more of himself to Yamada.

He tells her how he used to hate middle school, but that’s changed, thanks to her. While clearly very happy to hear this, Yamada tells him he should be thanking himself first and foremost. He kept coming to school, even when it was painful, and that led to him eventually talking to her.

Yamada hands him back his books, with the murder one that he used to keep people away at the top of the pile. He says “thank you,” but it’s more than just thanking her for helping with the books. It’s the words he’s wanted to tell her all along, more than “I like you.” Those words aren’t necessary here, because his feelings are clear. Yamada lets the books fall to their feet again, gathers him into a warm hug, and pats his head.

Ichikawa pulls Yamada closer and thanks her again, and they stay like that for a few more precious seconds before heading to class. On the way, Sekine greets them, and they pull away from each other so quickly, she assumes they’re bashful after having “done it.” They most certainly haven’t, but they did do a lot during the winter break to clarify both who they are and what they mean to each other.

Before joining Sekine in the classroom, Yamada hands Ichikawa a bag of shrimp crackers—an empty bag, like she did in one of their first close interactions many moons ago. Then she says “just joking”, takes the bag back, and produces a candy for him. As always, the strongest sign that Yamada Anna likes you is that she’ll share her precious snacks with you without hesitation.

I know episode 11 me wanted an actual confession in words from someone, but the series subverted my expectations to the point I still walked away satisfied with where we leave Yamada and Ichikawa. They remain on that road together, walking hand-in-hand more often than not, and far more locked in to each other’s emotions.

From family and “dark past” to his murder book and nudie mag, Yamada has seen a lot more of who Ichikawa is in very short order, and it has only endeared him to her more. It is Thanksgiving day as I write this, so I am mindful of what I am grateful for, and it’s anime like this!

I’m anticipating the second season more than any other Spring 2023 show, as while Ichikawa is the lead and POV character of the show, hopefully it will also delve deeper into who this girl Yamada Anna is, beyond what we’ve seen and heard. Also including their first kiss couldn’t hurt … just sayin’!

The Dangers in My Heart – 11 – Remote Control

Ichikawa and Yamada’s date went so well and they made such big strides in their budding relationship, but what fresh villainy is this? Ichikawa in an arm sling, between Sekine and Loverboy and with Loverboy’s groupie across from them? In hindsight, I loved how random and vicious this stinger is, but in the moment I was anxious as fuck.

It’s a classic “How’d I end up like this?” story, which coninues by rewinding to the start of Ichikawa’s family trip to Akita. His frustration over having to share a room with Kana dissolves when he remembers his promise to photograph the snow for Yamada. But in the process of doing so he slips and falls off a damn cliff and at the very least sprains his arm.

He sends a selfie to Yamada as a gag, but she almost immediately video calls him, genuinely concerned about his arm, and relieved that he’s okay. I know that concern is genuine because a.) it’s been established she’s crazy about this little guy and b.) she called him so fast she forgot she was in Casual Evening Mode with her sports bra and glasses.

When she learns he’s returning home early, her thoughts turn to hanging out with him as soon as he’s back, but the two lovebirds are interrupted when they notice Kana, whom Ichikawa thought was dead to the world, is awake, and catches a glimpse of Yamada. She says she’s cute, and he says she’s “just” a friend from school. Kana is amazed she wasn’t some streaming thing.

Yamada wants to know what Ichikawa told Kana, and he’s honest: “that we’re friends … he guesses … for now.” The for now part is enough to cause Yamada’s heart to overflow, granting us one of her cutest faces to date. She then asks if they can talk more, and Ichikawa goes into the hall.

Yamada proceeds to ask Ichikawa to do things while she does them, from taking a drink to looking out the window to admiring the moonlight. It’s a tried-and-true method for feeling closer to someone you adore. Even if you’re far apart, the part of them in your heart feels closer than ever. She also has the shoujo manga in her lap, turned to the page where the boy says “I want to be with you. I wouldn’t be otherwise.”

Before heading back, Ichikawa decides to buy an Akita dog keychain for Yamada. Kana tries to let Ichikawa down gently by telling him girls are more than just their looks, and Ichikawa assumes she’s telling him not to get his hopes up with a girl out of his league.

For all their differences, Ichikawa recognizes in Kana the same tendency to try giving up on what she really wants before it hurts that he has. But now that he has something, someone he wants, he’s not willing to let it go. Not yet. Hopefully, not ever!

The next day Ichikawa heads out to meet up with Yamada, both to return the red scarf he borrowed and to give her the dog keychain. Instead, he ends up startled by a dog, who is attached to a leash, which is being held by Yamada in full-on Adorable Athleisure Mode.

Even after they made plans, she suddenly worried about his arm and decided to head his way instead. She decided this so quickly and with such a strong desire to see him as soon as possible, she neglected to consider the possibility they might’ve missed each other. But it’s all good; luck was on their side, and they were able to cross paths.

They head to the park with her Corgi, Wantaro, and Ichikawa suddenly gets cold feet about giving Ichikawa a non-food gift. Does this kid not remember that extended sequence bathed in blue light where he and Yamada were holding hands like old soul mates?

No matter; he is punished for his lack of faith by being given a bottle of green tea that’s already open by Yamada. My first thought was that she already took a swig, making it an indirect kiss. And while Ichikawa felt a bit like Yamada was remote controlling him over the phone the other night, she ends up following the commands he meant for Wantaro, including, most importantly, “paw.”

Yamada sits close beside Ichikawa without letting go of his hand, then reaches over him to retrieve the red scarf. Ichikawa put it in a bag so it would stay clean. Yamada blushes, tightens her grip on his hand, and admits that she actually wanted him to keep it, but then thought he wouldn’t want it.

His eyes opened by her honesty, Ichikawa exhibits his own, accepts the scarf, and offers her the dog keychain after all. She is so goddamned happy to get a gift from Yamada that she jumps up and does a little frolick. Before parting ways, she asks him about his first shrine visit of the year. He says he’s going, but doesn’t say it’s with his family, so she assumes the two of them will go, and will message him the time and place later.

From then on, Ichikawa and Yamada message each other every day. He may feel like it’s getting to his head that he can’t stop reading and re-reading her messages, the fact is she’s doing the exact same thing. If he’s a big embarrassing dork, so is she! And that’s perfectly fine!

What isn’t fine is Ichikawa heading into a FamilyMart to buy a drink, only to be ambushed by Loverboy, his groupie, and Sekine. It’s awkward as hell, especially since Sekine pretends not to know “Ichihara.” When Loverboy realizes it’s the boy who was with Yamada, he presses him for her LINE.

In an extremely telling moment, Loverboy orders the groupie to grab him a coffee, and the groupie blushes and obeys without hesitation. It feels so different, and so wrong, compared to when Ichikawa and Yamada were obeying each other on the phone call and in the park. Loverboy doesn’t seem to respect or even care about the groupie. He’s just using her because he can.

Sekine also excuses herself, leaving Ichikawa and Loverboy alone, but remains in earshot behind a wall. This is a test, and Ichikawa best not fail it. Loverboy drops the nice guy act, and things get transactional. “Ichihara” will give him Yamada’s LINE, and in exchange, he won’t tell anyone he got it from him. Ichikawa says he won’t tell him, and Loverboy asks why.

Ichikawa could tell him way, but Loverboy doesn’t deserve that much, and it isn’t really his business at all. So Ichikawa tells him he’s not telling him because he simply doesn’t want to. Before Loverboy can say another word, Sekine interrupts and asks Ichikawa to walk her home. When Loverboy offers to go with her, Sekine says she’s good … because she and Ichikawa are friends.

Sekine is clearly impressed with Ichikawa’s resolve. He passed the test and protected Yamada. But she says he should be straight with Loverboy next time about why. When Ichikawa protests, Sekine takes his hand in hers, and he recoils from her, and says, out loud, that he likes Yamada … he “thinks”.

For dramatic and comedic effect, Sekine takes a beat, then walks away and yells with a fake echo “I know…know…know,” then remarking that it’s “absolutely super obvious.” When they reach her door, he thanks her, and she teases him by asking if he wants to pop in. This Sekine girl man … she’s alright.

Having just been thoroughly messed with by another girl, but also given the validation he needed (note at no point did Sekine say he shouldn’t pursue Yamada, as it’s likely just as clear to her that Yamada is crazy about him), Ichikawa wants to hear Yamada’s voice, so he calls her. I loved her little nervous reaction before picking up (I love all her reactions, really).

He wishes her Happy New Year before she can tell him, but hastily hangs up when Yamada says Sekine has arrived (Yamada unknowingly walked her right to where Yamada and the others were having a sleepover). Bathed in moonlight, Ichikawa vows to someday tell Yamada that he likes her.

What a glorious slow burn this has been, with incremental progress from episode to episode providing a steady stream of good vibes. What began with a chuuni dork with delusions of edginess outraged an invasion by the class idol has now come to point where that dweeb is on the cusp of confessing to that idol … whom he’s learned is also a dork.

Ichikawa has done so much for Yamada thus far. First out of decency and kindness, then out of his growing affection for her. Now there’s one more thing to do: the most important thing, the thing that will end their beginning and begin their story together in earnest.

That’s asking a lot. It means putting himself out there after so much time as the safe but lonely hedgehog. But he doesn’t have to fear. He’s got this! He can, should, and must confess to her. The only question is will he, and before the season ends? Or will she be the one to confess first?