The Eminence in Shadow – 22 – The Maddening Thirst

The warrior Crimson captured and made into a guard for the gate of his tower witnesses the awesome power of Juggernaut and Yukime, but neither of them is a match for a third combatant: Shadow. Juggernaut sidesteps him and heads into Crimson’s tower, while Yukime notes that Shadow has helped some of her girls in the red light district, so she take her leave peacefully.

Beta is doing some research in the library on the cult and their level of technology when Claire and Mary enter via a hidden passage. Beta acknowledges both of them by name, but states her preference to not fight them. Her true target is the Blood Queen, a Progenitor Vampire. When Claire mentions her brother, Rose, AKA Number 666, speaks out of turn out of concern for Cid, but is chastised by Beta. Good to see ya, Rose!

Claire and Mary continue on, and witness Juggernaut take out Lord Crimson’s most powerful underlings. They try to stay in the shadows, but he detects them and engages them in combat. Claire even ends up punched in the face by an opponent for only the second time in her life, and is not happy about it.

Mary, meanwhile, is slashed quite badly, and in order to heal, she sucks some of Claire’ blood, which she takes with an unannounced kiss. Even with her vitality restored, she and Claire almost end up at Juggernaut’s mercy, but for Shadow, who arrives just in time to land on his blade and kick him off the tower before taking his leave—before Claire can recognize him.

Mary admits to Claire that despite being a legendary vampire hunter, she herself is a vampire, one of Vampire Queen Elizabeth’s closest servants. She regales Claire with the tale of “Haven”, the state of being that was achieved when Elizabeth led a group of vampires away from drinking blood, which allowed them to live peaceful lives in the sunlight.

Unfortunately, among them all only Elizabeth’s thirst for blood endured and strengthened, until the night of the last red moon. She went berserk, and a massacre ensued. She took responsibility by stabbing herself in the heart with a blade, but rather than turn to dust, her breath and heart both stopped, and she was interred.

After that, Lord Crimson took possession of Elizabeth’s body and spared Mary’s life. Claire says she can relate; she too believes she’ll one day become a monster, but until then, she’ll happily help Mary get Elizabeth, and possibly the haven she built, back, while she’ll handle getting her brother back.

Of course, Crimson has other ideas. While Elizabeth’s body has rotted away like that of any corpse, her heart remains intact, and as he places it into a sacrificial body in hopes of resurrecting her, Shadow arrives and ethers him in a ball of flame. By doing so, he may have kept the balance of power in the Lawless City balanced, at least for now. More importantly to him, he was able to fight the Big Boss before any of the main characters!

The Eminence in Shadow – 21 (S2 01) – Black and White and Red All Over

Our boy Shadow, sitting in his throne room, hears reports of stirrings in the Lawless City from the Seven Shadows. It’s your typical serious, brooding, self-important exposition scene…suddenly hilariously undercut by Shadow getting everyone to freak out about whether they have B.O.

Turns out it’s the red moon he smells, and rather than a bad omen, he sees the moon as no big deal, and intends to investigate the Lawless City himself. With that, Eminence is Shadow’s second season heads to a new place with lots of new and familiar faces.

It just so happens that coming off her Bushin Festival win (of course she won), Claire is also headed there to hunt vampires. Because she has a brother complex, she ensures they’re in constant contact by dragging him by the back of his collar through the city.

On the way they encounter Goldy and Quentin, having been defeated and now on sale as pets, but only Cid vaguely recognizes them. He then somehow ends up separated from Claire, has his pocket picked, and proceeds to use his slime to pick the pickpockets’ pockets. He’s already starting to like this den of villainy.

He likes it even more when another night under the red moon comes, and with it a sudden outbreak of ghouls (i.e. vampire thralls). He’s ready to go toe-to-toe but a badass-looking red-haired woman spots him, assumes he’s about to die, and “saves” him.

Introducing herself as Mary, an eminent vampire hunter, she then spews a series of cliches about a frenzy starting, the moon is red, their time is running out, and if he wants to live he’d better run. This whole scenario is like catnip to Cid. Meanwhile, Claire begins searching for him, killing ghouls as she goes.

From there we meet Marie, a bruised sex worker trying to wallow in despair when she hears commotion outside: the ghouls are biting people and turning them into more ghouls. When they invade the brothel, Shadow is right on time to behead them and save Marie. But she doesn’t just get saved in the immediate mortal sense.

Shadow parrots the exact same sequence of clichés he just heard from Mary, and they inspire Marie to get up and leave her life of turning tricks, quite assured despite her friend that Shadow can’t possibly be a bad guy. Perhaps she’ll end up in Shadow Garden like Rose, who unfortunately doesn’t appear…yet.

Claire’s search leads her to finding the remains of someone who vaguely resembles Cid, but on closer—heck, just on regular inspection, the head she’s holding had blue eyes, thus ending her grieving session. This needle scratch of a fact is pointed out to her by Mary, and the two decide to team up as they’re headed to the same place: the Crimson Tower.

A young, glasses-wearing student council-type dark knight and her few comrades who didn’t flee are about to be overrun by ghouls, but Shadow once again does the exact same thing he did with Marie: rescue the knights and say his borrowed spiel, only he adds a little extra.

Sadly, we don’t get to see him do it a third or fourth time, which would no doubt lead to a game of telephone-esque devolution of the phrases into something completely different and possibly cornier. But we do learn that the outbreak of ghouls was no accident.

Lord Crimson, one of the three de facto leaders of the Lawless City, intends to use the red moon and the blood of the city to resurrect the Blood Queen Elizabeth, who has slumbered for 1,000 years. He’s opposed by the other two lords: the stylish Yukime who rules the White Tower, and the musclebound Juggernaut.

As those latter two bicker and fight with one another (no enemy-of-my-enemy-is-my-friend compromise to be found here), Cid decides it’s the perfect time for Shadow of the Shadows to enter the fray. The moon is red, and a frenzy has begun, but fortunately we’ve got plenty of time to enjoy more Eminence, which is back and as solid as ever.

Undead Murder Farce – 03 – Trust the Process

Tsuguru and Aya join Lord Godard’s family for a meal. While Tsugaru, the human carriage driver, and the human butler Alfred have human food, Godard and his children drink animal blood in bowls like tomato soup.

His son Claude thinks the pair to be con artists, but Aya proceeds to explain in detail how she knew the driver’s wife had recently gotten him to stop drinking. She even gets him to feel bad and realize what a fortunate man he is! I also love how Aya and Tsuguru chuckle at each others’ jokes.

Since she’s unable to partake in the meal, Aya uses it to lay out the list of most logical subjects. Only two lack alibis: Alfred and Claude. This irks Claude in particular, and by extension his dad the Lord, but Aya assures them it’s unlikely an outsider did it.

Kurosawa Tomoyo is masterful at giving Aya a calm, collected, and direct manner that commands respect. Among everyone only she is the master detective, and those who doubt or question her process are quite frankly out of their element and resorting to emotionalism.

That said, we later learn that Aya doesn’t have a clue yet who killed Lady Hannah, and the dinner conversation was merely to buy her some time. When Claude confronts them in the hallway, he threatens to snap Tsuguru’s neck. In doing so, Aya confirms that his, and everyone else at the dinner table, had impeccably clean hands.

While Shizuku stays with Alfred and the young maid Giselle (and assures them she doesn’t work for Tsuguru and they can insult him all they like), Godard takes Tsuguru and Aya back out to the woods, where he once again insists that his household is innocent.

Godard then asks if they’ve heard of “Fushi”, or the immortal one. Tsuguru says he has. Aya adds that while they’re indeed immortal, even they can be defeated by an oni, only they were otherwise fairly weak and stupid, and driven to extinction in the Great Purge.

Godard then points out that Aya and Tsuguru might be talking about themselves: the immortal one and the oni. He then gets an arrow to the neck, and then rushes into the woods to capture the human vampire hunter who loosed it.

He’s about to kill him in “self-defense”, but Aya stays his boot. Instead, she questions the man, named Josef, and quickly learns that he was on a train near Berlin the night of Hannah’s murder. That said, he came to avenge his friend Hugo, another hunter who vowed to kill Godard.

Aya’s last question allows her to determine that even Josef wasn’t sure that Hugo’s stake was silver. As thanks for his being so forthright, she allows Josef to run off unharmed, irking Lord Godard. But he hired Aya, and so it falls on him to trust her and not his own instincts in this matter.

For her part, Aya believes she now has everything she needs to solve the mystery—or as she calls it, “this humorous and tragic farce of a murder case.” I’m looking forward to her conclusions.

Undead Murder Farce – 02 – Ahead of the Game

We travel from Japan to eastern France this week, as Lord Godard and his son are out hunting deer. We learn he’s a vampire who wishes to “meet humanity halfway”, accepting, for instance, the gift of a rifle even though he doesn’t really need one to hunt. Godard returns home to find his wife—also a vampire—has been murdered with a silver stake.

The town and the press soon catch wind of the tragedy, suspecting a vampire hunter might be involved. Among the journalists is young Annie Kerber, who is excited to learn that Godard, whom she trusts as an ally to humans, has hired the “Cage User”  Shinuchi Tsugaru and Rindou Aya to investigate the murder.

While on a not very comfortable wagon ride (though I would have liked to see at least part of their boat ride from Japan) Tsugaru and Aya exchange some bons mots between themselves, Shizuku, and the driver. Upon arriving, we learn all the players in this whodunit: Lord Godard, his two sons Claude and Raoul, his daughter Charlotte, the butler Alfred, and the maid Giselle.

Since he is himself supernatural, Godard isn’t surprised upon meeting Aya’s head. On the contrary, he is happy to have a detective of note on this case. Aya immediately compiles a list of seven questions they must answer in order to discover the culprit, but only reveals five of them for now. Charlotte makes an appearance, but is freaked out by Tsugaru and the bodyless Aya.

This episode is primarily setup for the murder mystery to come, introducing the players, the setting, and creating the atmosphere. All we know for sure is that it’s unlikely for Godard or Raoul to be the killers, as they were out hunting. Based on nothing at all, my primary suspect is either an outside vampire hunter, or the maid. We’ll see how close I came as the case continues to unfold.

Call of the Night – 13 (Fin) – Let’s Talk About Love

While Nazuna plays video games alone (a typical night for her before meeting Kou), Kou is invited to Suzushiro Hatsuka’s apartment, where they’re greeted by three of Hatsuka’s offspring who are completely in her thrall, so much so that they simply stood around eagerly waiting for her return.

It isn’t until they’re ordered to leave and Hatsuka takes a shower and forgets a towel that Kou learns Hatsuka isn’t a woman, but a very, very pretty man. Suddenly Kou has a distraction from the night, which had been turned into a disappointment by his encounter with Anko.

Nazuna heads to the rooftop lounge vamps to report that she may not be turning Kou into a vampire after all. Niko tells her that wasn’t their agreement. Nazuna asks that they spare Kou’s life, but Niko is furious. It’s one thing for her and Kou to take their sweet old time, but to abandon the whole enterprise? Niko won’t stand for it—which means violence is sure to follow.

Hanging out with Hatsuka turns out to have a great deal of value, as he learns that just like humans don’t really know that much about humans, vamps don’t know much about vamps either. For what it’s worth, he doesnt’ believe Nazuna was withholding anything from her, but also doesn’t think it’s likely he’ll fall for her, being an adolescent kid and all.

So he proposes a compromise: Kou will become one of his offspring, so he won’t have to be killed and Nazuna won’t have to face consequences. As far as “falling” for him, Hatsuka will simply use his vampire power to “glamor” Kou, as he did with his other children. But this isn’t about gender for Kou—he simply only wants to fall for Nazuna.

As Kou gets up, Hatsuka asks him what he hopes to do by inserting himself betwen Nazuna and a clearly enraged Niko (the others text him a picture of a destroyed table). Kou simply says he doesn’t want Nazuna to be bored. He wants The Night to remain theirs.

When he arrives at the rooftop lounge, it’s clear a huge fight has taken place, but Nazuna just left. Niko declares ominously that Nazuna “won’t be capable of proper conversation for a while”, and doesn’t want to see Kou. Kou doesn’t care. He wants to see her, and he’ll brave any vampire fracas or cop-infested pedestrian bridge to track her down.

When he does, a forlorn Nazuna is buying a beer at the same vending machine where they first met, with their positions reversed: Nazuna lit by the machine’s greenish light, and Kou looking sinister as hell in the shadows. We learn that all Niko “did” to Nazuna was insist they talk about love, because that’s what Niko likes best.

Niko makes a deal with Nazuna: she and the others will go all out and root for her and Kou, and she’ll do whatever it takes to make Kou fall for her. As long as Nazuna can honor this, they won’t lay a finger on Kou’s feathery little head. And as proponents of vampire propagation, this works out better for them too.

Nazuna insists that “it’s over” but Kou takes her by the shoulders. He tells her he thought life was boring too until he ventured out into the night and met her. Even if she “acted like a know-it-all” who only knew how to have fun, masking her ennui, it doesn’t change the fact that the two of them had a heck of a lot of fun together.

Nazuna admits that she’s had so much fun she’d forgotten the boredom that had been gradually crushing her for decades.By dint of Kou being by her side, even things she’s done before feel new and exciting. Kou says they should then simply keep finding new things to do; he’s determined not to let her ever get bored again.

In response to this, Nazuna gives him a kiss—not a vampire’s kiss to the neck like usual, but an honest-to-god kiss on the lips like the climax of a romantic movie. She’s never been the most comfortable with romance, but in Kou she has a kindred spirit, and they can navigate those uncharted waters together as she vows in her head to become “a vampire worth falling for.” Of course, Kou would be the first person to say she already is.

While this episode could certainly serve as a series finale, I hope that’s not the case. Not only is there apparently plenty more manga to adapt from, but this was by all accounts a very popular and well-regarded anime. I’m hopeful it gets a second season where we’ll have more of Kou and Nazuna feeling their way through what it means to be together.

Call of the Night – 12 – Part of the Ordinary

Nothing like watching a starving vampire die with your friends to put a damper on your fun, huh? That tension pervades this episode as well. While Mahiru speaks alone with Anko in her very classic noir detective office, Kou twists and turns in bed, and when he goes to Nazunas and she prepares to feed, he finds himself pushing her away.

After talking things out (she promises him she’s in no danger of becoming like that starving teacher) they go on a walk, and Kou feels a little better, especially after Nazuna sucks his blood. He was suddenly confronted with the dark side of vampirism, but feels now that he’s identified that fear he can manage it.

I also like the subtle ways Nazuna’s new maid café pay allows her to buy a new top and shoes, switching up her usual all-black style. Switching up her wardrobe makes her feel more, well, human, and less of the evil villainous monsters Anko believes all vamps to be, who would of course always wear the same outfit.

Either later that night or on another night, Kou and Mahiru hang out, Kou finally meets Mahiru’s older friend, and Kou can’t take his eyes of her, despite her not being a vampire (as far as we know). But Mahiru’s true reason is to get Kou to reconsider becoming a vampire, asking him to at least explain why he needs to be one so bad.

Hearing his old friend say these things, and bring up the very frightening prospect of either him or Akira getting hurt, sends Kou’s anxiety and doubt rushing back. He’s so out of sorts, when he next visits Nazuna, he simply needs her to hold him quietly for a bit. Sensing a change of scenery might help, she invites herself to his house, where his mom is out (and his dad’s been gone).

As Nazuna performs at thorough porn search, Kou realizes she’s the first girl he’s had in his room and on his bed; Nazuna notes how the bed smells like him, adding to the raunchiness. But then they turn to real talk, and she tells him it’d be weird if he wasn’t unsure about being turned after what he witnessed.

Kou says he wants to become a vampire because he loves the night and all its freedom and strangeness. He also likes Nazuna, who acknowledges all his emotions and is at the end of the night a decent person, vampire or no. But he can’t discount the potential for hurting his friends, so he wavers. When he then adds that Nazuna is “that eager” to make him her offspring, her resulting expression makes it feel like an uncalled-for low blow.

Nazuna expands on Kou’s love of the night, believing he truly loves it because it’s out of the ordinary. She asks him to compare his first night out to his latest, and Kou can’t deny the excitement has waned some. Then she says that she’s lived for decades as a vampire and felt nothing but boredom (or to be more precise, ennui*).

Rather than try to convince him to be a vampire, Nazuna can’t help but discourage him, since in her experience it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. She tried to make things as fun and exciting for him because that’s how she wanted to be, and how she wanted him to think vampires were like.

These two are no longer strangers to setting jokes aside and  saying what’s in their heart, but in this case, the truth hurts. It’s also not altogether surprising; immortality is bound to get dull once you’ve seen and done everything and nothing is new or exciting; when everything becomes ordinary.

Just as Nazuna turns to leave, Kou trips on his chair, drops the remote to the light, and falls onto the bed, on top of her. The bleak light of his room becomes a deep, dark purplish blue, and motes of dust sparkle in the moonlight. Just one little stumble, and suddenly things are exciting and extraordinary again.

Nazuna rises as if to kiss him, but her lips pass his and go to his ear, asking if he thought she was going to kiss him, then licking his neck marks and disappearing through the window.

One night, Kou decides to meet with Anko, curious about how exactly she kills vampires and why, and to basically learn more about her. But Anko isn’t the kind of person who is easy to get a read on, especially if you’re a middle school boy. She batters him with faux flirting and deductive reasoning. She messes with him the way a cat messes with a mouse.

And like a cat, her end goal is to destroy: not Kou, but Kou’s designs on becoming a vampire. In the beige, drab night (I love how the environment changes when she’s around) she offers him a stark black and white choice: abandon his plans, or be killed by her hand as soon as he becomes one.

His attempts to counter her arguments by describing the vampires he’s met fall on deaf ears; Anko doesn’t want to hear it. Vampires are evil and shouldn’t exist, period, and any human traits or behavior they adopt is in the service of feeding on and killing humans.

When Kou asks how he’ll avoid being killed by the other vampires if he decides not to become one, Anko simply says she’ll kill every last one. It’s chilling to hear someone with such resolve speaking Nazuna’s name. When he refuses to choose, she simply plays dirty, calling the police and reporting a middle schooler hanging out late at night.

Kou runs from Anko, but it will be hard to run away from her will, and now the night is tinged with that fear he thought he could control: the fear of losing the night where he feels most free. When a cop car turns on its lights and sirens, bathing him in red light, the paranoia briefly takes over, and he seeks shelter in a playground slide.

It’s here, where he wants nothing more than to be with Nazuna, talking with her about nothing of import, where he’s approached by Suzushiro Hatsuka. Hatsuka doesn’t seem there to threaten or hurt him, but simply to talk, having possibly smelled Kou’s fear and/or anxiety.

Don’t get me wrong: vampires shouldn’t be allowed to go around murdering people, or drinking their blood without consent. But the world has more than enough people out there who would gladly offer their blood to vampires, as Kou does with Nazuna.

Dismissing peaceful coexistence while shrugging over the awful things humans do to each other seems not only reductive but hypocticial. Then again, she could simply be an anti-vamp zealot, perhaps after losing a loved one. In any case, she’s definitely got her hooks at least partially in Kou (not to mention Mahiru), and is unlikely to loosen her grip anytime soon.

Call of the Night – 11 – Here Comes the Morning

Nazuna has put her sudden influx of maid café income to good use, procuring a new bed, floor lamp, a shelf for things, and houseplants (hopefully of the kind that like shade). She hopes the bed in particular will help her cuddle buddy/massage gig. But in what is one of her more questionable requests of Kou, she sends him, a middle schooler, out into the night to find “tired-looking” new customers.

He finds a particularly tired-looking lady on a bridge. The de-saturated palette, trench coat, and smoking habit all point to her being a private eye. Her name is Uguiso Anko, and she’s willing to hear Kou’s sales pitch. They go to a café to chat, and Anko immediately creates an uneasy atmosphere by reciting verbatim the labor laws his boss is breaking, then asks about Akiyama Akihito, quite out of the blue (or in this case, taupe).

When Kou lies that he’s never heard of him, Anko slams on the table and draws in close, the line of smoke from her cigarette twisting in a threatening spiral. Clearly she can smell a lie (and see the bite marks on his neck). Needless to say, Kou is way out of his element here! Fortunately, she backs down and leaves, but also leaves him her card.

When Kou returns without a customer but having hung out with another woman in a cafe, Nazuna is cross, so he’s unable to tell her any details about who he met or who she was looking for. Another night, Mahiru leads Kou and Akira on a fun night out together as good friends, feeling like that hasn’t happened enough since they were all small.

The three sneak into the school and explore the “seven mysteries”, then decide to investigate an eighth, regarding a teacher who went missing ten years ago. Upon opening a classroom door on a lark, they actually find this missing teacher, who loooks haggard as hell and extremely volatile. Combined with the tension of Kou’s sit-down with Anko, this is already easily the least chill episode of Call of the Night.

Shit officially shifts into the horror genre when the teacher repeatedly curses the fact these kids showed up, states how he’s unable to “hold back” any longer, and then pounces on Akira. Mahiru tries to pull him off, and after freezing for way too long, Kou finally clobbers Akira’s attacker with a chair (and those school chairs hurt, lemme tell ya).

The ghoulish teacher is only stunned, however, and as the three ponder what to do in the hall, the vivid blues, pinks, and purples suddenly give way to the near-monochromatic palette that seems to emanate from Uguiso Anko, Private Detective. After lighting a cigarette, she beckons for the man, who is a vampire, to come at her.

But when he drinks her blood he finds it disgusting. Anko says her working theory is correct: this guy hasn’t drunk human blood for all his ten years as a vampire. The man says he was tricked into falling in love with one and then turned into one. Anko simply embraces him with empathy and understanding.

Then she places what looks like a silver ring in his hand, tells him not to let it go, and then dawn arrives, the setting sun causing him to crumble into dust. It’s the first death of a person—undead or not—that the three kids have ever seen, and as you’d expect, they’re in something of a state of shock. Not so for Anko who explains that some of her cases involve vampires.

When Kou asks her why he had to die, her answer is simple: why let a monster live? She then moves in close and grabs Kou by the scruff, warning him that she won’t let him achieve his “dream”, because he doesn’t have the slightest clue about vampires…not really. As the sun rose and the long-suffering, starving vampire fell, so too have the chill vibes.

Kou walks home not necessarily considering Anko an automatic enemy, but suddenly feeling crushed by the weight of what he doesn’t know. Of course, he’d been operating under the ludicrous assumption that everyone who is a vampire wanted to be one, because vampires are cool. It’s a splash of ice water to the face, for sure, and Anko is a formidable and fascinating antagonist, thanks in no small part to Sawashiro Miyuki’s powerful performance.

Kizumonogatari III: Reiketsu-hen

Araragi Koyomi has beaten Dramaturgy, Episode, and Guillotinecutter with relative ease, and secured his master Kiss-Shot’s four extremities.
This third movie isn’t about that mission; that’s over now. It’s about everything that comes after, and how we get to Kiss-Shot being at full power to the greatly diminished state in which we were introduced to her in 2009’s Bakemonogatari.

Kiss-Shot promised Koyomi she’d make him a human if he got her arms and legs back, and while Oshino was meant to be Koyomi’s fourth opponent—he in possession of Kiss-Shot’s heart—he is satisfied that the balance has been restored. He not only surrenders the heart, but forgives Koyomi’s 5 million in debt before taking off.

So, will Kiss-Shot keep up her end of the bargain she struck with Koyomi? She’s certainly happy to be in her 26-year-old form; giddy, even. They meet on the roof of the cram school and talk simply like two old chums.

Kiss-Shot tells Koyomi about her first servant, whom she lost to suicide (she tells him more about this during Onimonogatari), and pulls Kokoro-watari, a memento from that time, out of her body.

After watching Kiss-Shot frolick on the roof, Koyomi realizes he’s a bit hungry, so volunteers to pick up some snacks at the local 7-Eleven while Kiss-Shot ‘prepares’ to restore his humanity.

Upon his return, he discovers the nature of that preparation: Kiss-Shot graphically devouring Guillotinecutter, then wondering where Koyomi’s “mobile snack”, i.e. Hanekawa is.

It’s a devastating revelation to Koyomi that yeah, when Kiss-Shot is talking about food she’s talking about humans. She feeds on humans, and he not only saved her life, but restored her to full power. As he rages in the gym equipment room, blaming himself for Guillotinecutter’s death, Hanekawa pays him a visit.

As far as Koyomi’s concerned, he doesn’t deserve to get his humanity back after everything he’s done. He doesn’t even deserve to live, and certainly doesn’t want to live to the point where he sees Tsubasa as food. He’s already disgusted with the fact that the three hunters he defeated were on the side of justice.

Tsubasa, not surprisingly, has his back when he doesn’t have his own. She’s made her selfishness known to Koyomi, and she wants to see him next term, so he can’t die. Besides, throwing away all he’s accomplished thus far would just be running away. Even if he eats her, she’s fine with it, because she wouldn’t call someone a friend unless she’s willing to die for them, no matter the reason.

No, pointing the blame on and killing himself isn’t the right path for Koyomi. Not when he’s the only one who has a chance against a Full Power Kiss-Shot. Knowing he has to go up against her, Koyomi asks, for the first time ever, if he can touch Tsubasa’s boobs, in order to “build up his tolerance” for Kiss-Shot’s own substantial bust.

That attempt goes bust, however, when Tsubasa is more than willing to let him fondle her boobs and even take her maidenhood if he likes, but he chickens out and instead gives her a weak shoulder massage.

Hitagi may end up being Koyomi’s beloved, but there can be no doubt who his best friend is after watching these movies. Because all this takes place before he even meets Hitagi, Tsubasa is free to be the one and only girl, and thus one hell of a best one.

Alright, no more fooling around, it’s time to fight his master Kiss-Shot, who makes one hell of a fiery, explosive entrance in the stadium, the venue of their duel. Kiss-Shot know realizes she was insensitive in being so casual about how she took her meal. With that in mind, she asks him to return to her side, but of course he can’t, because she ate someone.

Koyomi saved her life, and won back her limbs, because she was weak. Once she was no longer weak, and Koyomi saw what she was capable of, he essentially woke up from the spell he had been under. At an impasse, they begin to go at it.

Because they’re both immortal, quick-healing vampires, it’s an absolutely bonkers fight, with heads and limbs flying all over the place, oftentimes sprouting back up before the old parts faded away. But as bloody and brutal as it is, the fight is a stalemate, with neither party able to inflict lasting damage on the other.

Once again unable to stay away when her friend is in need, Tsubasa tells Koyomi something isn’t right, and it’s something everyone but Koyomi would have realize by now: Kiss-Shot wants to be killed; it’s the only way for Koyomi to get his humanity back.

When Kiss-Shot tries to lash out at the interfering Tsubasa, Koyomi (or rather, his head and some neckbones) latch on to Kiss-Shot’s neck, and he starts sucking her blood, a lot of it, until fully half of it is gone, leaving her shriveled and powerless.

But he doesn’t want Kiss-Shot to die.

Instead, he wants everyone to get what they want; everyone to be satisfied. So he calls out to Oshino, whom he knows is watching, and hires him (for five million) to come up with a solution. Unfortunately, no amount of money will change the fact that it’s impossible for everyone to be satisfied.

So instead, Oshino, true to his nature of attaining balance everywhere he can, proposes a way for everyone to be dissatisfied in equal measure. Kiss-Shot can live on as pseudo-vampire mimicking a human, robbed of all her power and dependent on Koyomi to survive.

Koyomi, meanwhile, will become a pseudo-human mimicking a vampire; and both will continue to live, and the risk to humanity will be greatly reduced, but not completely eliminated. Koyomi won’t let Kiss-Shot die, so he takes the deal.

Fast-forward to August and the beginning of a new term for Koyomi and Tsubasa. He still heals quickly for a human, but not nearly as quickly as he was. He also views the world differently now that he can walk in the sun again, something Tsubasa thinks is very positive.

Koyomi pays a visit to Oshino at the cram school to give what’s left of Kiss-Shot some of his blood. On the roof, Oshino characterizes the situation thusly:

What you remember of a vampire eating someone…is like the disillusionment of watching a cute cat devour a live mouse.

And here you are, having chosen to keep your own little vampire like a pet.

You’ve dulled its fangs, pulled out its claws, crushed its throat and neutered it, right?

You, who was once treated as a pet, are getting back at your former master by treating her as one…not a moving tale, is it?

Well, it was, and is, most definitely a moving tale, but I prefer Koyomi’s more poetic way of characterizing it:

We, who hurt each other so terribly, will sit here licking each others wounds. We damaged goods will seek the other out in comfort.

If you are to die tomorrow, I’m fine with my life ending then as well.

But if you want to live for me for one more day, I’ll go on living with you today as well.

And thus begins a tale of kindred bound by their scars.

Soaked in red and written in black, a story of blood.

One of which I’ll never speak.

Our very own, precious as it is, story of scars.

And I have no intention of reciting it to anyone.

It’s not just a beautiful way to end this fantastically epic prequel trilogy, but an artfully powerfully-stated mission statement for all of the stories in the Monogatari Series that follow chronologically. It’s inspired me to re-watch Nekomonogatari (Kuro) and then Bakemonogatari from the beginning, with a new appreciation for where Koyomi has been, and—thanks to the recently completed Owarimonogatari—where he’s going.

Finally, major kudos to Kamiya Hiroshi, Horie Yui, and Sakamoto Maaya; all three elevated these movies that much more with their layered, engaging performances.

Kizumonogatari II: Nekketsu-hen

Just because Araragi Koyomi is a vampire doesn’t mean he has the slightest idea what he’s doing, so in preparation for his fight with Dramaturgy—a fellow vampire, and vampire hunter—he bones up on both Aikido and baseball.

One thing Koyomi knows for sure is that the battle, and indeed his presence in general, is no place for a human, in particular the lovely Hanekawa Tsubasa, who shows up at the place where he’s to fight.

Koyomi decides to get rid of her—for her own sake—in the most expeditious way possible: by cruelly deleting her contact on his phone, demanding she stop following him, and basically telling her to piss off.

Dramaturgy is a kick-ass name for a vampire hunter, and Dramaturgy himself is terrifying to behold in his sheer size, speed, and purposefulness. Koyomi tries an Aikido approach, and loses his left arm in the first blow. Ovetaken by pain and horror, he runs away screaming.

But he forgets himself, quite literally: as the subordinate of Heart-Under-Blade, he can instantly regenerate his limbs, and so does so, then switches to a baseball approach until he beans Dramaturgy straight in the eye with some cheese.

To Koyomi’s shock, this is enough to get Drama to concede their duel and surrender Kiss-Shot’s leg. After all, he’s just a regular vampire, not of her lineage; he can’t regenerate nearly as quickly as she, and by extension Koyomi. The moment Koyomi figured that out, he’d lost.

In the immediate aftermath of his fist victory, Tsubasa emerges from her hiding spot; she’d watched the entire battle and wants to know what the hell just happened. Koyomi starts off with his ‘none of your business’ business, continuing to say mean things he doesn’t mean, even telling Tsubasa he only cared about her body, and asking her to show him her panties again.

But Tsubasa does show him her panties, because it’s what she wants to do, and knows that the Koyomi she knows wouldn’t have said such hurtful things unless he was trying to protect her. He sees right through his mean guy act, and the real Koyomi emerges, contrite and appreciative of her friendship.

Back at the cram school, Kiss-Shot is presented with her leg, and devours it, much to Koyomi’s shock. While she digests, Koyomi and Oshino give her some privacy, during which time Oshino explains how by methodically taking her limbs, her three (now two) hunters also managed to take her vampirism and all the abilities it entails.

Koyomi isn’t 100% trusting that Kiss-Shot will fulfill her end of the bargain by making him human again, and Oshino rightfully calls him an ingrate for it. If you can’t trust the person you saved your life, who can you trust?

When he goes back inside, he finds that Kiss-Shot has morphed from a young girl to a teenager. Somewhat creeped out by his reactions, she hides behind the lectern and sticks out her tongue at him.

Koyomi’s next opponent is Episode, a half-vampire filled with hate for his vampire side because it keeps him from truly fitting into either the vampire or human worlds. But before that, Koyomi introduces Tsubasa to (a soundly dozing) Kiss-Shot, thus sating her curiosity.

Tsubasa blames herself for somehow summoning vampires by simply bringing them up in conversation, and laments she can’t do more to help her friend, but Koyomi assures her that bringing him fresh clothes and moral support is more than enough.

Tsubasa also gets a measure of revenge by caressing Koyomi’s shirtless, suddenly much-more-built (as a result of his vampirism) body, which turns her on enough to make her a little uncomfortable when he gets too close to thank her. Still, before departing, she promises she’ll continue to support him in any way she can.

As with Dramaturgy, Koyomi’s battle with Episode doesn’t start out so well for him, as Episode is able to teleport from place to place in a blink of an eye, making him hard to target, not to mention his massive cross which he heaves at Koyomi like a projectile.

Tsubasa appears to help Koyomi out with a vital tip—Episode is turning himself into fog—but gets caught in the cross-er-cross, and she gets a nasty disembowling wound to her side, a most gutwrenching and upsetting sight to behold, for both me and Koyomi.

Seeing her urge Koyomi to keep fighting even as she bleeds out motivates him to stop going easy on Episode, and he flies to a nearby stadium to kick up a tremendous amount of dust in order to scatter the fog, which is only water, after all.

Once he has Episode in his clutches, he recalls flashes of holding the dying Tsubasa in his hands, and those hands tighten around Episode’s throat. He’d have killed him if not for Oshino stepping in to stop him, warning that he’ll “lose his humanity” if he carried out the execution.

Oshino also extracts an extra fee of three million yen in exchange for the key to saving Tsubasa, which Koyomi could have figured out for himself but for the fact he’s panicking—he cuts himself open and pours his vampire blood all over her, and she is immediately healed and wakes up.

Koyomi is so happy to see her alive and okay, he foregoes bashfulness regarding her torn uniform and cuddles with her a little longer. Kiss-Shot gets her other leg back, and upon re-absorbing it, morphs into a young adult, having very nearly recovered her immortality, but still unable to use any vampire abilities.

Last up, Guillotinecutter: neither a vampire nor a half-vampire, he’s merely a human, if a particularly well-built human. Rather than professionalism or hatred, he fights for faith, and his ability to exorcise vampires means Koyomi will have to be both extra-careful and extra-ruthless. In fact, Kiss-Shot suggests the only way to beat him is for Koyomi to abandon the humanity to which he’s been trying so hard to cling.

Before this third and final fight, Koyomi meets with Tsubasa once more, this time in the wheat(?) fields that surround the cram school. She provides sandwiches, (which he doesn’t eat since he’s a vampire) Coca-Cola (with a refreshing taste even vampires can’t refuse), and more moral suppport.

Koyomi tells her once more to stay away from him for her own safety, especially now. When she got hurt, he thinks it hurt him more than if it were him getting hurt. He’s recoving Kiss-Shot’s limbs so she’ll restore him to being a human, but he won’t sacrifice Tsubasa for that goal, and thinks Tsubasa is being too selfless, too bright for the likes of him.

Tsubasa reiterates that she’s not doing what’s good or right, but what she wants to do, no more, no less. Indeed, she sees herself as being selfish, self-centered, deceitful and stubborn, but she won’t apologize for any of it. But if there’s nothing more she can do for him regarding his current mission, she’s willing to step back.

To that, Koyomi tells her there is one more thing she can do: Wait for him. Wait until after Spring Break when they’re back in school, and be someone he can have fun talking with again. Koyomi says this romantically enough to literally make Tsubasa surrender her panties, with the implied promise that he’ll give them back when next they meet.

Koyomi, being pervy, isn’t super-committal about that last part, but he does want to see her again, so he’ll likely give them up when the time comes. With that, they part ways.

Unfortunately, when he faces Guillotinecutter, the priest immediately takes Tsubasa hostage and threatens to kill her if Koyomi challenges him. Tsubasa, of course, urges Koyomi to carry out his mission and not to worry about her, but there’s no way he can’t.

But as Kiss-Shot said, the only way Koyomi can defeat Guillotinecutter without killing Tsubasa is by going further than he went in his battles with Episode and Dramaturgy; beyond the point where Oshino stopped him. He has to be utterly inhuman in his strength, speed, and ability.

And so he does: Transforming his arms into vine-like tree limbs, he plucks Tsubasa from Guillotinecutter and crucifies him. Tsubasa is safe in those tree-like arms, and Kiss-Shot’s arms would seem to be free…but can Araragi Koyomi, Human recover from what he had to do? It’s left to the third and final film to decide.

Kizumonogatari I: Tekketsu-hen

I haven’t read any of the Monogatari novels, but I have seen the events of Kizumonogatari before—in extremely condensed form, in the cold open of Bakemonogatari way back in July of 2009.

That immediate Tsubasa upskirt, followed a dark, bloody, brutal, prologue was one hell of an introduction to the agony and ecstasy of the Monogatari Series. Ever since, I’d hoped we’d get a proper telling of those intense events. Seven-plus years (and a hell of a lot of Monogataris) later, we finally get that story; in the form of a three-part film, no less.

Right off the bat, I have to say the franchise has never looked or sounded better: Shaft and co-directors Oishi Tatsuya and Shinbo Akiyuki pull out all the visual and auditory stops to really give this story the weight (sorry Hitagi) and grandeur it deserves. Familiar buildings and vistas are given a bit of a makeover with no expense spared.

We start with that upskirt from the very beginning of Bakemonogatari, in which Araragi Koyomi happens to catch a good long look at the lacey undergarments of one Hanekawa Tsubasa.

Rather than react the way your typical anime character would after such an incident, Tsubasa laughs it off and discovers that it’s very easy—and fun—to talk with Koyomi, despite the fact he’s a loner-by-choice with no friends.

By the end of their encounter, she’s given him her contact info and declared herself his friend. Tsubasa’s friendly down-to-earth manner is infectious, and Koyomi is over the moon by his encounter, and gets so excited he ends up racing to the adult bookstore.

While talking with Tsubasa, she informs Koyomi of rumors going around town about a hauntingly beautiful blonde woman with piercing gaze. That prepares us for when he discovers a very long trail of blood that leads him deeper and deeper into a deserted subway station that feels like a descent into the underworld.

With Kubrickian precision, a marvelous tension is built up as signs of a horrendous struggle mar the otherwise pristine metal, tile, glass, and white of the station. And then he finds her: our favorite super-vampire, Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade, lying in a pile of her own blood, relieved of her limbs, and near death.

She beseeches, or actually more like commands Koyomi to give him her blood to save her—all of it will probably do—but the kid is understandably terrified beyond rational thought, and his first instinct is to run the fuck away screaming, even as she too screams and pleads for help.

Eventually, however, the thing we all knew was coming occurs: Koyomi has a change of heart, and decides to head back down and offer his blood, which he believes to mean his life, to the vampire, hoping to earn the right to have a next life that isn’t so horribly fucked up.

But that’s just the thing: his life doesn’t end; his ‘clock’ starts right back up in a revamped-for-film, more impressive than ever abandoned cram school. Beside him is a dozing little blonde girl who isn’t ready to wake up yet.

Koyomi steps outside, and we return to the dramatic cold open of the film in which he’s set ablaze. I thought at the time it was just a nightmare, but no, his flesh actually bursts into flames upon exposure to the sun, but is continually regenerated.

Kiss-shot runs out and brings him back inside, and warns him not to go out during the day now that he’s an immortal vampire, and her second and newest servant.

As Koyomi points out, she’s no longer as “mature” as she was when they met, but it’s to be expected: Koyomi’s blood alone was not enough to fully restore her; she must be content with her smaller form. And while she’s been reduced in size, her personality is as big and imperious as ever.

Kiss-shot has little power remaining, and so must rely on Koyomi to destroy her enemies: three specialist vampire hunters whom she initially underestimated and allowed to attack her all at once. She believes if Koyomi takes them on one-by-one it should be a simple matter.

Of course, Kiss-shot’s perspective is somewhat skewed by the fact she’s over 500 years old and did things like jump from Antarctica to Japan over three centuries before the Meiji Restoration. If Koyomi can pull it off and get Kiss-shot’s limbs back, she promises she’ll turn him back into a human.

Unfortunately, when Koyomi first encounters these three hunters: Dramaturgy, Episode, and Guillotine Cutter, not only does he have no idea how to fight the extremely tough customers, they come at him all at once just like they did Kiss-shot.

All Koyomi can do is crumple into a ball and wait for another inevitable end, but the universe ain’t done with him yet, because one particularly badass dude stops all three specialists in their tracks at once.

We know this guy, even if Koyomi hadn’t yet been introduced: he’s Oshino Meme, who describes himself as a keeper of “balance” between the worlds of humans and oddities (AKA monsters).

In this instance, at least, maintaining the balance means helping Koyomi and Kiss-shot get her limbs back so she can return to full strength and restore Koyomi’s humanity. And so off we go!

There’s a unique exhilaration in watching earlier versions of characters I’ve known for years meeting for the very first time, particularly a Koyomi who is new to all this oddity stuff and extremely out of his depth.

Prequels are notoriously tricky to pull off, but if the first of three parts is any indication, with a neat balance of levity and gravitas, Kizumonogatari is one of the rare ones that succeeds and excels; actually more powerful and engaging for arriving so long after the series it precedes.