Urusei Yatsura – 27 – Fullmetal Cutiemist

It’s been a while since we’ve seen Princess Kurama and her murder of crow attendants, but there’s not much to catch up on: she’s still single. She scolds the crows for just lazing around eating and sleeping, but they assure her they’ve developed a computer program that is searching the universe for the ultimate studmuffin.

Of course, they’re talking out of their bird-asses. They’ve been lazing around eating and sleeping and there is no such computer, but they do their best to build one that can scan for her ideal mate. The hastily slapped-together computer’s choice is … well, it’s a choice.

Make no mistake, Rei is a handsome young man. But he has more letters in his name than brain cells, will always want food more than the heart of any woman at any given waking moment, and is not always a young man, but a giant tiger-bill thing.

In any case, Kurama’s ship abducts him while he’s having a date with Ran on the branch of a very spooky tree, and ends up abducting her too. It’s great having legends Mizuki Nana and Hanazawa Kana in the same episode, playing two women claiming Rei’s heart while Rei only seeks to claim his next meal.

When Ran is tossed off Kurama’s ship, her fall is arrested by Lum. Lum would rather not get entangled in a relationship drama with Rei, Ran, and Kurama, but Ran is able to convince her to tag along and help her get Rei back. At the same time, Ataru spots the crows buying more rice and insists on paying a visit to Kurama-chan.

Lum was right to dread this scenario. Ran comes to save her man, only for Rei to embrace Kurama when she offers more food. When he spots Lum, he embraces her. Ataru tries to get with Kurama, then Ran. It’s a big ol’ mess, full of wooden mallets.

Thanks to a trap door from the main hall to Kurama’s bedroom, Rei’s version of the Trolley Problem comes to bear on this chaos. He must choose between a Ran, and giant bindle of onigiri Ran made to lure him to her, before slipping and falling down the shaft.

Surprising everyone, Rei chooses Ran over the food, and for a moment seems to exhibit signs of human (or rather Oni) sentience. But then he notices the pile of onigiri and starts stuffing his face. Kurama finally sees him in his tiger-bull form, gives up her pursuit of him, and goes to bed cranky. Ran may not be able to claim Rei, but she can take comfort in knowing neither will the Crow Princess.

All that could have been a fine episode in and of itself, but wait, there’s more: the obscenely ultra-wealthy Mendou clan has chosen a wife for their firstborn son, something he’s not interested in … until his otherwise serious and traditionally-dressed pops starts going on about the “nudie lewdie.”

Ryouko sends one of her ninjas to clobber her brother with a hammer while delivering a message of her displeasure with his impending nuptials. However, Mendou is even less enthused with the idea than she is when he learns the family name of his fiancée: Mizunokouji, as in the chief rival of the Mendous and Tobimaru’s sister.

Mendou visits Tobimaru at his family’s estate (with Ataru tagging along) and both accuse him of keeping all knowledge of his sister from them. They demand to be told everything about her. The thing is, Tobimaru didn’t even know he had a sister either. Mendou learned of her existence before him.

Their bickering is interrupted by the arrival of three women in olive green safari gear and another one of Mendou’s spies sent to investigate the Mizunokouji girl. They’re soon approached by a giganic suit of armor with “MAIDEN” painted in red on the chestplate. This must be Tobimaru’s sister.

When she trundles off with her tough-but-beautiful bodyguards, Mendou laments having to marry a suit of armor, while Tobimaru laments finding out his only sister is made of metal. Ataru, meanwhile, is smart enough to know there’s a girl under all that metal, and he wants to know what she looks like.

He happens upon an Olympic-style track and field center where he watches the armored girl sprinting ridiculous speeds and performing ridiculous jumps while wearing 200 kilos of armor. Ataru manages to catch up to her and catches a quick glimpse of her delicate face and starry eyes.

The girl then freaks out and shot puts him so far he ends up landing in the pond with the other boys. It looks like the Mizunokouji girl has an all-female staff and was terrified of Ataru because she’s never seen a man before. That should make her first meeting with Mendou interesting!

Chained Soldier – 02 – Asserting Dominance

The 7th Squadron girls’ reactions to their commander’s new male slave vary: Nei is the friendly senpai, while Himari is the exact opposite, pointing one of her arm-weapons at him at every opportunity. Suruga Shushu is somewhere in the middle: more than anything, she’s curious about Yuuki.

To that end, she exhibits her ability to shrink as well as grow, using the former to spy on Yuuki’s every move, then get him to accidentally pose for blackmail photos, simply to stir things up. But especially when he says he has a big sister (she has two) she seems to warm up to the guy—the first she’s ever spoken to.

When she challenges Yuuki to Strip Street Fighter and only his drawers are left, he warns her that she might be in danger if she takes them off. Shushu laughs heartily at this, then grows to five times his size, just to underscore the fact that she’s in control here.

She manages to get his underwear off and laughs at his little Yuuki, but their fun is interrupted when a giant shuuki (not one of the small fry Kyouka can defeat with her bare hands) appears and starts to crack the barrier around the dorm.

As it’s just Shushu and Yuuki at the dorm, she tells him “wimpy men should stay put” and rushes out to fight the thing. You can tell she’s also trying to put on a show for Yuuki to prove how badass she is, and it would’ve worked if she only had one giant shuuki to contend with. When a second kaiju-sized shuuki starts giving her a run for her money, Yuuki is desperate to pitch in, but he can’t transform without Kyouka … or so he thought.

He tests a theory that he’ll transform if his lips contact something Kyouka has worn…say, her boots. It works, and even if he only transforms partially, with Shushu holding the shuuki down he’s able to blast him into oblivion, though when he transforms back, he’s significantly weakened, naked, and falling to his death.

Fortunately for him his fall is broken by the soft embrace of Mega Shushu’s breasts. She’s definitely impressed a mere guy was able to save her, but in Yuuki’s state he fails to notice he’s fully on display, and furthermore the excitement of battle resulted in, shall we say, enhancement? That also impresses Shushu, though she doesn’t say that out loud.

While Kyouka also had a great first impression, Shushu stole the show from her this week with her charm and her novel size-changing ability that made for clever and unique dynamics in both battle and in rom-com situations.

After Kyouka gets off Yuuki after an intense massage and leaves the room, Shushu then hops on top of him, “asserting her dominance,” but also staking her claim to him. The first guy in her life has proven immensely entertaining; she’s not giving him up so easily.

In the Heart of Kunoichi Tsubaki – 01 (First Impressions) – The Art of Perturbability

What if Takagi-san had a kunoichi ancestor…and instead of sitting next to the boy she likes in class, the ancestor lives in an all-female village where girls are raised to fear and avoid men? Even though said men are just on the other side of the mountain…and the ancestor really wants to meet one?

That’s In the Heart of Kunoichi Tsubaki in a nutshell. The titular Tsubaki is the best kunoichi student in her village, but she’s also growing up and starting to think about boys, even though she’s never met or even seen one. But hey, sometimes it’s the unknown that drives us.

Most if not all of the other girls harbor a similar curiosity, but mixed with a hatred and prejudice for the gender, often to the tune of repeating the same jokes about them (they’re monkeys, their crotches are weak, they stink). Two of her own kohai, Sazanka and Ahegao, even go off on their own to try to meet and then beat up the men when reports come in that they’re nearby.

Tsubaki striking out into the night to bring the two younger girls home provides much of the episode’s action, and the chase is beautifully storyboarded, directed, and animated. These wee ninja are quick as darts and twice as sharp. They can also breath fire and change their forms, you get the feeling any men out there would be at a disadvantage.

Tsubaki very nearly lets her own curiosity about men (which again, is different and less hostile than that of the other girls) lead to contact with the men, as she concedes that no harm can come from simply watching them from afar.

However, when one of those men appears behind them, Tsubaki freaks out and they escape. The tiny Sazanka wanted to fight them (she wants to fight everyone), but Tsubaki had more than enough unknown for the night, having walked right up to the edge only to retreat in the end.

Whether the near-encounter with a man was real or just Tsubaki’s dream, what becomes clear that morning is that the Akane clan’s village is a lot like Takagi-san’s school (again, if it were all women), with a colorful array of characters at different stages of adolescence.

The Takagi-san style art with larger heads can make it hard to nail down how old everyone’s supposed to be, but judging by the character designs of both elementary and middle school students in Takagi, it’s a similar mix here, with some girls making more kiddy jokes like boys are some kind of beast, while others closer to Tsubaki in age seeming to share a more complex curiosity about them.

One thing is certain: Tsubaki’s recent preoccupation with men is distracting her from her training, both in class and out in on the grounds. Asagao Sazanka soon puts two and two together and notices her big sis seems to get flustered when she hears the word man. This is unfortunate development as a lot of people say “man” a lot in this episode.

Sazanka thus issues a challenge to Tsubaki: if she can use her flame jutsu to evaporate a large puddle of water while she whispers “man” in her ear, it will prove to her that Tsubaki isn’t afraid of men. Tsubaki ends up creating enough flames to make a huge crater, thus putting Sazanka’s concerns to rest.

Nevertheless, Tsubaki wants to meet a guy. She doesn’t know why, or even what she’d say or do if she did, she just knows she wants to meet one really bad. This, despite the fact her elders and peers have all been conditioned to believe men are brutal savages.

Leaving aside a more specific desire for romance, a part of Tsubaki is telling her there is more to this world than her village, and that it may just prove beneficial to learn more about what lies beyond its borders.

SAKUGAN – 06 – CRIME FOR JUSTICE

For his assistance in restoring the God of Wind, Gagumber comes into some money, which he quickly turns into a lot more money at Jolly Jolly’s casino. It’s all going quite well for him (unbeknownst to Memenpu)…until he loses everything on a bum hand. Shoulda quit while he was ahead. Gagumber Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-Gagambler.

He and Memenpu then end up captured by, essentially, a band of punks, led by Yuri, who calls his crew the “Yuri team.” They’re gentlemen (and ladies) of fortune, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor like Robin Hoods in the colony of AreYaar, whose university president Trevi claims to be a colony of “equality” but is really anything but.

Because Yuri was hired by Zackletu to do a hacking job for something like a million gold, both Yuri and Zackletu want what’s owed them from Gagumber, who it’s established is broke after flying too close to the sun at the casino. So instead he and Memenpu will work off their debt doing domestic labor for the Yuri team, who lives in an undertown under the already underground colony.

Memenpu and Yuri soon form a bond as the former learns the latter is a pretty good hacker, while she may be one of the first to tell him she thinks his prosthetic hands are cool. She and Gagumber accompany the Yuri team on a number of Robin Hood heists. They’re riding high, but Yuri doesn’t want to just make money; he wants to make Trevi and all the haves of AreYarr actually hurt and hurt bad.

Not only is his right-hand man Fidelio not okay with this, who understands that becoming more extremist or violent will only have the authorities cracking down on them harder, but Gagumber sees quite a bit of his old self as having big, bold, and ultimately reckless dreams, having left his friend Rufus’ side when Rufus wasn’t prepared to go so far. It ended in tears.

Gagumber is older and wiser and doesn’t wish the same of Yuri (i.e. losing everything, like Gagumber did both years ago and again at the casino), so he and Fedelio literally hang on to Yuri’s bot as he makes an ill-advised attempt to take over AreYaar’s central tower, which is also the center of the colony’s power. Yuri wants to “change the world” like the Labyrinth-widely infamous Shibitu, but Shibitu are pretty much just terrorists.

Ultimately Gagumber, Memenpu and Fidelio succeed in keeping Yuri from doing something that could get him and all of them arrested and at worst killed. Instead, Yuri and Memenpu use their hacking skills to embarrass Trevi by broadcasting his dalliances with the casino bunny girls to the whole colony.

The episode ends by teasing a new dynamic: both Zackletu and Yuri sticking close to Gagumber and Memenpu on their travels, making it a full-on adventuring party. I can’t say yet whether Zakletu has either wife or big sister potential, but Yuri makes a good big bro for Memenpu, and it will be fun to see them interact more.

SAKUGAN – 05 – UNBROKEN CHAIN

At first, it looks like Merooro is transporting Gagumber and Memenpu to some off-site labor facility as punishment for their crimes, but that site turns out to be a lush forest brimming with flora and fauna known by the Bureau of Regulation as Windy Hill, which sounds like a Sonic level. There’s only one problem: the forest is dying. The genius Memenpu soon diagnoses the problem: not enough wind in Windy Hill.

That wind is produced by a labyrinthine ancient industrial metropolis that looks like a cross between Midgar and the world of Girls Last Tour. It’s packed with technology contemporary humans can only dream of, but a piece of that technology is failing, resulting in Windy Hill being in jeopardy. Fortunately for Merooro, Memenpu is a certified genius with seven doctorates from Pinyin University.

Having memorized the map of the complex after a glance, Memenpu leads the way, possessed of an eternal wellspring of curiousity and awe of her surroundings. The place is hella cool, but her reputation for having an excellent sense of direction is threatened when the trio run into one dead end after another.

That’s when Memenpu consults Urorop’s map, which of course includes the complex, and determines that the dead ends are a result of all the various pieces of the complex constantly shifting and moving to alter the wind speed and flow. The bright lines on the map represent the flow of the “animus”, the inscrutible element that provides the complex its power.

The gaps in those lines are where the animus isn’t getting, due to leaks from the aging pipework. After some shogiand tea—both things Memenpu had never experienced, as they’re part of the world of yore but Merooro’s stock and trade—she leads the other two on a confident march through the complex, tracking down leaks and making repairs.

When those repairs cause a buildup of pressure, Memenpu knows just what sequence of things to do to release that pressure. But she wouldn’t have even made it this far if Gagumber hadn’t caught her when her jump across a ravine was short and she almost plummeted to her death. She also relies on Gagumber and Merooro’s elbow grease to turn a crucial valve that happens to be very rusty.

Merooro admires Memenpu’s insatiable curiosity and Gagumber’s determination to nurture it by accompanying her, but curiosity killed the cat, and Merooro worries that if Memenpu doesn’t choose a safer way of life, her curosity will claim her life far too soon. Almost on cue, a big pipe cracks above Memenpu as she descends a ladder, and she gets absolutely doused in deadly, acid-like animus.

Fortunately, both her hazmat suit and her stuffed goat hold up. I mean, it’s not like this show was going to kill Memenpu! Still, it was a close call, and not the first of this mission to restore Windy Hil. With Memenpu determined to find her dream place, it likely won’t be the last close call, or the closest. Gagumber’s role as her safety net will only grow more crucial as their journey continues.

Attack on Titan – 02

As the first waves of Titan victims become a feast for crows, Eren, Mikasa and Armin retreat from Shiganshina and the breached Wall Maria to Wall Rose. Initially carried by Hannes, Eren fumes over running away, but there’s nothing else to do: he lacks the strength, as does all of humanity.

As for the Titans themselves, there’s a bizarrely charming dumpy childishness to many of the smaller ones, acting like the humans spread out before them are simply fun toys that happen to double as food. But then there are some that seem much more purely evil, or at least more evolved to dispatch humans on a massive scale, like the Titan that blasts through the gate and uses fire breath to roast the garrison.

There’s a sickening inhuman cruelty at work, but also the sense that this is simply how nature has progressed; humans are no longer the top dogs, and life is going to get more difficult. The Titans are simply doing what they’ve evolved to do: feed on humans. Sorry, humans.

The kids end up on a boat with a few hundred other survivors, who then become refugees within Wall Rose. Whatever picturesque, idealized town Shiganshina was, their new temporary home is far bleaker and harsher, with a populace already experiencing a food shortage, there’s great animosity for the newcomers; even wishes that the Titans ate more of them.

Once he’s over the initial shock of witnessing his mother’s death and the death of hundreds of others before his eyes, Eren switches to anger and goals that, at this point, are absurdly unreasonable and premature. He tries to run before he can crawl, or at least talk about running, i.e. driving the Titans out.

Thank goodness then, he has the more sensible Armin to keep him from getting an even more severe beating from a guard, and a no-nonsense Mikasa who isn’t above punching Eren out and stuffing bread down his throat if it means keeping him alive.

I’m already enjoying the dynamic of these three, in particular Mikasa, the steadfast rock of the trio with no patience for Eren’s empty speeches about wiping out the Titans when clearly, at present, nothing can be done.

That fact is underlined when, after putting the refugees to work in the wastelands cultivating food doesn’t arrest the food shortage, 250,000 of them are sent back out to “fight” the Titans. Of course, they only serve as a massive buffet (only 200 survive), and a sign of how callous those behind an inner wall can be to preserve what they have.

A lot of time passes this week, making these first two episodes  a solid foundation chronicling the trauma endured by our protagonists that motivate them to enlist in the military, that they might do something, anything to try to push the Titans back.

Meanwhile, Eren has intense, disturbing dreams and/or visions of future events; his dad is still alive somewhere, and there was a secret in the basement of the family home his dad intended Eren to see. All of this points to Eren being more than just talk, but whatever power he possesses seems a long way from being unleashed.

Reminder: Comments are welcome as always, but please limit discussion to this episode and avoid spoilers, as I am watching AoT for the first time. Many thanks—HB

Attack on Titan – 01

Thanks to Netflix and a relatively light Fall season, I am pleased to finally crack open the massively popular Attack on Titan, a show I eschewed virtually sight unseen, choosing instead to follow Gargantia, Majestic Prince, and Valvrave. I’m only past the first episode of AoT, but I can already see I made a major oversight; one that will be corrected forthwith.

AoT’s cold open shows us the very moment the people of Shiganshina are royally hosed, then after the credits, rewinds to the morning before the shit hits the fan and begins the process of masterfully building up the dread and tension preceding the events of the cold open.

As we follow Eren (a loud-mouthed portentous shonen if ever there was one) and his sister Mikasa (a girl of few words but immense strength) as they wind their way through the streets of their huge hometown, the walls, streets and structures have a strength, solidarity, and safety to them. Even the sounds of everyday life are lulling.

If there is one shortcoming to this first episode, it’s that Eren isn’t necessarily likable at first. His reasons for wanting to strike out into the outside world aren’t unreasonable, but he can be over-emphatic in his protestations and scolds.

Sure, he may have had a vision of doom descending on Shiganshina, but he’s fighting against a century of idleness and contentment. Conviction and loudness are no substitute for hard evidence. Also, the episode tries to paint Armin with broad strokes, but there’s not much to him yet except that like Eren, he’s not content to stay within the walls.

Then the evidence arrives in the form of a hand grasping the top of the 50-meter outer wall, and it’s a powerful “Toldya so” moment that shakes every inhabitant of the city to their core. Then…a hole is blasted in the wall with such force it causes widespread destruction to the rest of the city. And that’s before smaller Titans start rushing in.

Any early quibbles I might have had with Eren or Armin go out the window when the appalling carnage starts, with throngs of humans running for their lives and many being scooped up and gobbled up like hors d’oeuvres. There’s a distinct sticky aura of awfulness to the spectacle, and the utter powerlessness of the three young protagonists.

When Eren rushes home hoping against hope his house is still intact only to find his mom’s legs crushed under its ruins, it’s a gut punch. Before I can recover from that, a Titan eats her with cold satisfaction as a fleeing Eren watches, flooring me yet again.

Amidst the wholesale butchery and mass despair, there are obviously glints of both hope and levity. Mikasa’s imposing brawn is employed for a snicker when she and Eren rescue Armin from bullies, and the smash cut from Hannes momentarily facing off against a Titan to reconsidering and scooping up the kids, and retreating was a legitimately funny “oh shit” moment.

As for hope, well, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin are still alive, which means anything is possible. Obviously, they won’t stay powerless for long. But nor is any viable counterattack likely in the immediate future. The onslaught of the Titans has only begun, after all. For now, surviving is the name of the game.

Welcome to my weekly (or bi-weekly) Attack on Titan retro reviews. Comments are welcome as always, however please limit discussion to this episode and avoid spoilers, as I am writing these reviews as I watch AoT for the first time. Thanks—HB

From the New World (Shin Sekai yori) – 09

With Shun gone for four days, Satoru gathers the others and suggests they go looking for him. He and Saki travel to his house in Pinewood, but it is totally cordoned off in all directions, and they find that a huge gash has been made in the forest, with a burnt-out tree trunk in the bottom of a pit that reminds Saki of the one in Shun’s house. Meanwhile Maria and Mamoru ask around school, but everyone from Pinewood is absent. Curiosity leads them to check out the inner yard, and they see three adults release two tainted cats from their kennels, and mention Shun. Maria comes to Saki in the middle of the night to tell her this, and she sets out alone to find Shun, but its confronted by one of the cats in the forest.

Whatever year it actually is in Saki’s world, it might as well be 1984 (while that monolithic tree they see brought 2001 to mind). People who do not obey and conform to the “society of love” live in constant fear of death, or worse – by the hands of the “Ethics Committee”, which may as well be called the Ministry of Love. People are supposed to stick to their particular vocation, and not pry in anything else, even if it concerns family or friends. In Saki’s case, her older sister vanished long ago, and she forgot about it like a good girl. But now she’s remembered. Now someone she cares about deeply – Shun – is in some very serious trouble. She cares about him so much she’s willing to risk everything – her freedom, her life, her parents’ peace-of-mind – to find him. Which is badass.

We don’t hand out tens willy-nilly; only three first-run episodes have received our highest rating so far, along with a handful of Retro Reviews. But we consider this episode the best and most complete of the series so far; a masterpiece of tone, mood, and tension. It’s not particularly flashy, but never before have the stakes seemed so high, or have Saki and her friends seemed to be in more danger. We’re not even sure what the real deal with Shun is yet – only that he may be turning into a full karma demon (that doesn’t sound good). This episode is the best kind of building-up episode: one that creates so much anticipation for the future, but more than holds up by itself as a comprehensive study in layering trepidation on top of disquiet on top of dread.

The moment Saki hears from Maria, she goes into Full Rescue Mode – suiting up with the talisman Shun gave her (and which she may believe was also a wordless message to come after him, not just a memento mori), and using her Cantus to good effect, bringing a loud wind that will mask her movements, flying through the air, and racing down the river. If she’s discovered, she’ll most certainly die, and the episode projects that perfectly. While a ten need not be totally perfect, we could not list a single flaw in the episode anyway. From the precise pacing to the stirring primeval score to the consistently excellent costume design, this was a winner on all fronts.

Rating: 10 (Masterpiece)

P.S. The tainted cats have pumps for feet…very strange.