Akiba Maid War – 04 – Full Metal Piglet

It’s a blessing that there are no previews for this show because I have no earthly idea what this show is going to throw at me from week to week. When the 9-second cold open consisted of a very confused Nagomi being thrown off a building, I was still stumped, but that was a hell of a start…pigs are flying!

The Oinky-Doink Café’s parent company Creatureland comes into focus this week as there’s the maid yakuza equivalent of a corporate summit. The leader brings three managers up, including Tenchou (the only non-maid in the room aside from Otakuza), and shoots someone skimming sweets money in the stomach.

The message is clear: clean it up. Oinky-Doink doesn’t skim, but despite having a capable star in Yumechi and two heavies in Ranko and Zoya, they’re not earning as much as Creatureland would like. So they send Drillmaster Sano to whip them into shape. Her first act is to kick Tenchou and Panda out of the café.

The multi-day boot camp starts at 5:00 AM with Ranko calmly slapping Nagomi awake. The five maids go through a number of grueling drills and are constantly verbally and physically abused by Sano. Anyone who’s watched any show or movie with boot camp can see the pattern here.

Sano’s goal as representative of Creatureland is to increase the Oinky-Doink’s revenue, which means breaking down what she perceives as a bunch of undisciplined slackers and building them back up into frilly money-making machines. We also know that Sano isn’t just being a sadist dick; her own life depends on her results.

That threat gives the conflict between the Oinky-Doink maids and the corporate stooge Sano more dimension, to the point Sano almost seems to panic when the maids collectively decide to boycott day two of boot camp. She only asks to speak with each of them alone on the roof before she leaves them.

When it’s Nagomi’s turn, we know she’s being thrown off the building. What we didn’t know is that Sano catches her before she falls to her death. While she has Nagomi suspended, Sano tells her their two arms that are keeping her alive represent the relationship between the group and its maids.

Sano also shows her how scraped up and bloody her arm got when she caught Nagomi, showing her the depths the group will go to protect its maids. Nagomi is a crying mess, but returns to the cafe a changed person. Shiipon is the last of the maids to get “thrown” off the roof but shrugs it off, but the others have already fallen in line, and decide that Sano can stay and teach them.

The montage that follows consists of the maids gradually being shaped into the obedient automatons Creatureland intends them to be. There’s no more hesitation in their responses to Sano, and now that they know what’s expected of all of them, they’re quick to point out one another’s flaws throughout the day, and just as quick to accept criticism from each other.

The exception is Shiipon, who doesn’t like what’s happening to her colleagues or her café. The last straw is when Sano demands she stop doing her ganguro makeup. One night she tries to sneak out, but Sano is lying in wait and sounds the alarm, and all the other girls chase after her with rope and handcuffs.

When Ranko corners her in the kitchen with a screwdriver, Shiipon thinks it’s all over, but to her surprise Ranko unscrews the exhaust fan to let her escape, “if that’s what she wants.” When Shiipon asks Ranko what she wants, it’s to protect the café. Shiipon looks out the opening, sees Tenchou and Panda scrounging for trash in the alley below, and decides to stay after all.

The next morning, Shiipon shocks everyone by showing up sans blond hair dye and gaudy makeup. She applies herself and becomes one of the worker bees, earning not only Sano’s trust, but her affection. Sano, whose life is on the line here, is clearly relieved that the one bad apple in this Oinky-Doink group has fallen in line.

On the day Sano leaves, she unleashes a torrent of critical vitriol at her grunts calling them the worst maids ever, but finishes it up by saying they’re also the best, and they all pass. Nagomi, Yumechi, and Zoya all burst into tears, Ranko is her usual stoic self, and while Shiipon puts her face in her hands, it’s clear she’s not as affected as the others.

The Oinky-Doink resumes normal operations, only now the maids are wound up so tight by Sano’s training there’s no fun or joy in their work. Nagomi looms in on her master trying to upsell him; Yumechi’s face is gaunt and her eyes baggy from overwork.

But then Tenchou returns, flanked by Panda…and Shiipon. Notably, Tenchou is brandishing a bazooka, and declares that she’s taking back her café. She and Panda are quickly taken down, and Ranko neutralize Zoya, but Shiipon takes the bazooka Tenchou drops and races to the roof where the giant wood “Creatureland” carving they worked on all week.

To her, that carved sign represents everything wrong that’s happened to the café, and blowing it up is the only way to bring back the joy and the fun of their work. When she blows it up real good Nagomi screams with agony, but the spell—or rather her indoctrination—is eventually broken.

Life returns to normal at Oinky-Doink, only with Nagomi having gained some useful skills during the boot camp. Shiipon is back to her normal hair color and makeup, and when Sano shows up to check on their progress and protests how everything is back to the way it was, Shiipon answers her with a devastating takedown punch.

While not all of what Sano instilled in the maids was bad—see Nagomi leveling up—she took things way too far. Being a maid is the only thing the noncommittal Shiipon has ever stuck with, and it became something worth fighting to preserve. Ranko played a key role as Shiipon’s silent ally, while Tenchou also established the limits to Creatureland’s oppression she’s willing to endure. Panda…was just kinda Panda.

Bakuman 2 – 08

Fukuda, Niizuma, Hiramaru, Aoki and Nakai tell their editors they’ll all join Ashirogi Muto on hiatus until the Chief Editor ends the TRAP hiatus. Mashiro’s surgery is successful, but he and Takagi are furious when they seen the four other manga missing. The phones ring off the hook at the editor’s office, but the Chief Editor won’t budge. When Mashiro is discharged from the hospital, he, Takagi and Miura confront him one more time with eleven piled-up manuscripts, and he finally agrees to return TRAP to Jack as soon as possible.

Well, that would seem to have been resolved rather quickly! Putting TRAP on hiatus brought the whole point of the series – Mashiro achieving his dreams – to a screeching halt, but through it all, Miho was ever-supportive, Mashiro’s friends stuck their own necks out for his sake, and he never stopped drawing. We’re not entirely sure passage of time was handled as well as it could have been, but what’s important is that they managed to convince the chief editor to end TRAP’s hiatus before they graduate, which is as good an outcome as they could have hoped for.

Of course, while Miura considers the backlog of manuscripts to be some of Ashirogi’s best work yet, it was all produced without knowing how each story would be ranked. The next episode’s title incliuding the words “low ranking” suggest Mashiro and Takagi’s next major challenge will be dealing with a sudden and perhaps prolonged decline in popularity, just when their first volume has been released. And unpopular manga don’t get turned into anime (usually).

Rating: 3.5

Bakuman 2 – 07

Despite Mashiro’s determination, Chief Editor Sasaki decides to put TRAP on hiatus until next April, when Ashirogi Muto graduates from high school. His reasoning is that he doesn’t want what happened to his uncle to happen to him. Miho tells him she’ll wait for him regardless, as she promised, but Fukuda, who’s in the room, won’t let the decision stand. He organizes a boycott with Niizuma, Hiramaru, Aoki and Nakai.

Sometimes, secrets are a necessary, even crucial part of a successful business. The fact that everyone now knows that Mashiro is Kawaguchi Tarou’s nephew isn’t that big a deal. What is, though, is that Fukuda and Hiramaru are present the moment Sasaki lays down his edict. Fukuda then begins instantly fomenting dissent, and the artists’ editors are caught with their breeches down. Five manga on hiatus is officially a shitstorm.

Is it highly unlikely four other people would put their livelihoods on the line just to stand in solidarity with Mashiro? Perhaps, but that could just be our cutthroat supercapitalist American sensibilities talking. It’s no unreasonable to have a hiatus until Mashiro recovers, but making him wait until he graduates to continue drawing is overkill, especially when it means Jack is going back on its policy of hiring high schoolers. It’s going to be very interesting to see where this goes.

Rating: 4