Ace Attorney – 03

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I enjoyed David E. Kelley’s legal “dramedy” Boston Legal, despite that fact it could often go off the rails of what was reasonable legal procedure, (particularly courtroom conduct) because it was goofy and funny. Ace Attorney is also goofy and funny, but I find myself unable to constantly overlook its cavalier attitude toward the sacred institution of the law.

Mayoi’s trial is a damned free-for-all from the start, when Mitsurugi Reiji calls a witness in the middle of his opening statement, before Naruhodo even gets a chance to say his part. The witness is Det. Itonokogiri, whose testimony is so full of holes a mouse could mistake it for cheese.

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Oh, and the cheese is laid on thick here, when after Naruhodo rather easily exposes the good detective’s inconsistencies, Mitsurugi changes “died instantly” to “died pretty much instantly.” That said, he also makes the mistake of calling another unreliable witness to the stand.

This witness is apparently meant to titillate the men in the courtroom and little else, while Mitsurugi is concerned only with theories he can prove with facts in the courtroom, regardless of whether those theories point the finger at the entirely wrong person, i.e. Mayoi. It’s all rigged!

Wen Naruhodo breaks the pink bombshell (her transition sex kitten to fist-pounding harridan is hilariously abrupt) and Mitsurugi calls for an adjournment so he can go over all the evidence Naruhodo keeps pulling out of his pockets (real professional, that!) things get even more ridiculous, when Naruhodo tracks down the witness’s boss.

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Konaka Masaru is a grotesque joke of a character, with his flamboyant wardrobe, goofy office, and constant use of Bad English in his speech. This guy also happens to be the kingpin of a massive empire of blackmail at every level of society with the front of an IT company.

He also has the motive to be Chihiro’s true killer, since she’d been investigating him for years. And with one phone call, Konaka gets Haruhodo arrested as the new prime suspect in her murder. Hwhaa?

With lawyers going around acting like detectives, detectives acting like judges, and absurd circus trials with no semblance of order, this is a dark, fallen, poorly-animated world, and I feel bad for anyone with pure justice in their heart who has to live in it. Fortunately, I don’t, and so I’m checking out.

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