Cop Craft – 12 (Fin) – Forgivable Evils

What had the makings of some kind of grand conspiracy is ultimately boiled down to A Wizard Did It in the exceedingly tidy Cop Craft finale. Captured last week, Tilarna ends up in a penthouse with that wizard with her hands and feet both cuffed. It’s also one of the only instances I can recall where she’s not wearing her Semani cape, revealing an elegant midriff-bearing top.

She has to sit and listen to Zelada drone on about how he believes decadent Earth culture will eventually overwhelm destroy Semani culture: weapons, tools, sex…and that awful, awful rock music. Despite it seeming an awful lot like that ship has sailed, he’s working to make two societies to hate each other…or something. The nerve of someone in Carmen Sandiego pimp cosplay decrying decadence!

Meanwhile, the FBI agent rather ineptly attempts to extract Kei’s iPhone password so he can destroy the last photo of Marla and the assassin (Randall is killed off-camera). Kei, ever the smartass, starts to give it to him: “F-U-C-K-Y…” Hee-hee.

While the camera made sure to show us that Tilarna’s legs were cuffed, Kei’s legs are completely free, and his arms are cuffed to a flimsy folding chair that isn’t even bolted down. All it takes is for Mr. FBI to get too close, and Kei has him in a leg headlock. It demonstrates less how badass Kei is (and he is), and more how excruciatingly dumb Mr. FBI is.

Meanwhile, after ranting virtually all night, Zelada senses that Kei has gotten free and is killing his puppets. After all this time, and with little reason to keep Tilarna alive, Zelada nevertheless takes his sweet old time before finally deciding that yup, he should kill Tilarna. It’s like he’s waiting for Kei to arrive and save her, because that’s what the plot demands!

Even with arms and legs cuffed, Tilarna is also a badass, and manages to dodge Zelada’s attacks until Kei bails her out. Zelada’s invisibility is overcome by activating the sprinkler system (how ’bout that!), but the weakened Tilarna can’t handle the sword, so she and Kei switch weapons, with Tilarna pumping Z full of lead while Kei beheads him with her sword.

With that, our buddy cop odd couple waits for backup that will be late because the town is rife with violent protests. Kei leaves it up to Tilarna whether to give the photo of Marla to the police as evidence of her role in the assassinations, and after weighing the options, decides to do so.

Donald—er, Domingo Tourte wins the mayorship after Marla is arrested, but things eventually cool down as Tilarna thought they would, because for all its warts, San Teresa is still a good town filled with mostly good people. That’s why, as she writes to her father back home, she’s decided to stay put, serving as Kei’s partner in stylish crime-fighting.

And there you have it! A rushed ending, perhaps, which did itself no favors with the idiocy of its villains, but far from eye-gougingly terrible. I’d say Cop Craft would have benefited from another twelve or even six more episodes to give the conspiracy and photographer arcs a little more fleshing-out, but honestly the show probably would have found a way to squander them and be forced to end just as abruptly.

I will say that even if I wasn’t always in love with what Cop Craft did with the episodes it had or the world it built, it was still a neat world, with a solid core duo of likable characters, a smattering of cool supporters, and a fun soundtrack. It wasn’t flawless, but it wasn’t all bad either—much like the situation Tilarna and Kei find themselves in when the end credits roll.

Cop Craft – 11 – Better, Not Best

Kei and Tilarna meet Domingo Tourte, who kinda resembles Donald Trump, only slimmer and with a more conventional hairstyle. His adversarial relationship with the press, “tell-it-like-it-is” attitude, and anti-immigration policy are also pretty similar to the 45th President. While he’s not creepy with Tilarna, he is terribly condescending to both her and her people, to the point she’s fuming by the end of their brief interview.

She’s made even madder by the fact Kei played the peacekeeper by acting so deferential around the candidate. He knows he wouldn’t have gotten anything out of Tourte if he didn’t play nice, and instead learns something potentially valuable: Tourte says he’s a politician first and an Earthling second, the opposite position as Kei’s old chief.

That could mean he’s not involved in the assassinations—just an unwitting beneficiary. But they need more, much more, which is why Kei’s colleagues Cammy and Jamie hit the streets looking for info on Coal’s assassin while McBee looks up an old flame who may be connected to the only Earth company that can work with Veifaht steel.

For the first time in a while, it feels like a whole police detail is working a case rather than just Kei/Tilarna. It doesn’t hurt that Cammy and Jamie are are both very good at their jobs and very fun to watch (I loved Jamie describing her Wiki rabbit hole!), as it doesn’t take long for them to find a sex worker who had the assassin as a client.

As Kei and Tilarna drive past the messes made by both pro- and anti-Semanian protesters, it dawns on her how fortunate she is to be treated as an equal by her peers. Kei tries to cheer her up by telling her she’s not some exception sitting in the clouds above it all; just being the decent person she is has changed the hearts and minds of those she’s interacted with. Some of them hated Semanians before, but because they know and like her, their opinions have softened.

Speaking of hard, Marla Mozeleemay wastes no time picking up her late husband’s torch and running in his stead for the mayorship. In this way, Marla is the Hillary to the philandering Bill Clinton going up against Trump’s populism with concrete policies. Tilarna still suspects she was involved in Zoey’s murder, but isn’t about to vote for Tourte either.

That’s when Kei tells her politics isn’t about choosing “the best” candidate—there never really is one—but the “better” candidate, echoing the compromise many felt they made by “holding their noses” and voting for Hillary after she beat Bernie in the primaries.

But if Kei’s reporter acquaintance Randall is to be believed, Coal wasn’t the only one stepping out beyond the bonds of marriage. He has a photo of Marla engaging in a liaison with a burly man sports a bulldog tattoo on his elbow—just like the Marine who killed Coal, identified as Ethan Dole.

Kei and Tilarna’s supposedly private meeting with Randall in the park is interrupted by armed FBI agents led by Special Agent Roland Chan. It’s only after they’re arrested that Tilarna determines all the agents except Chan are “dead” and under the control of a wizard. Moments later they learn which one: Zelada is alive and well and apparently a key player in this sprawling conspiracy.

Cop Craft – 10 – Democracy in Action

On the way to an interview with Coal Mozeleemay, Kei is stopped by the reporter Kevin Randall, but insists he has no comment. In their meeting with Coal (definitely awkward due to his last encounter with Tilarna), he has no comment either, as his wife Marla handles all the questions, confirming to Tilarna that he’s no leader.

Turns out he’ll never have a chance to prove Tilarna wrong, as he’s shot during a speech. Kei pares down 92 potential suspects in the crowd down to three by eliminating anyone not acting like an assassin would, showing Tilarna that Kei’s pretty good at this detective stuff when all’s said and done.

Unfortunately for both of them, the black suit-wearing culprit won’t surrender or come with them without a lengthy chase, during which he demonstrates superhuman speed, agility, strength, and an uncanny ability to shrug off multiple gunshot wounds.

Again predicting he’d require more agility than a full-size car, Kei commandeers a tiny, quirky Messerschmitt KR200, which is naturally abused and badly damaged in the dust-up with the perp.

Kei and Tilarna have no choice but to put the guy down by whatever means, but before he dies, his appearance completely changes, revealing he wasn’t Semanian at all, but a human soldier using Semani magic. His gun was also disguised as a camera, made of ridiculously precise Vaifaht steel Tilarna claims even the best smiths back home couldn’t come close to creating.

So on one hand we have two dead candidates, and the only one left standing is in favor of kicking out all “aliens,” and on the other you have a highly-trained human soldier using immensely sophisticated magics in order to make it look like a Semanian killed his own.

Chief Zimmer instructs Kei and Tilarna to interview Tourte next; we’ll see if he knows anything about this apparent human-led conspiracy to make him the next mayor, which could well lead to the expulsion of all Semanians, many of whom might not go without a fight—either legal or physical.

Meanwhile all these murders of candidates have the public on edge, and well-organized anti-Semani demonstrations are already underway. Whether they popped up organically due to fear or something arranged by pro-Tourte partisans, we shall see, but in the meantime Kei urges Tilarna to keep her cool, even if what’s going on is both unjust and undemocratic.

Cop Craft – 09 – The Cat’s Out of the (Garbage) Bag

As silly as I thought the Tilarna-Kuroi body swap is, if you ever find yourself in such a pinch, it helps to have a competent friend in Cecil Epps. Having missed the trash pickup, she calls the waste management company, and when they stonewall her, she plays the police card to get access.

Once at the processing center they find the exact truck that took the bag containing the crossbow, but they’re a little too late and it ends up the proverbial needle in a trash mountain. Still, they’ve narrowed down the location enough for Tilarna to go in and attempt to sense the crossbow’s latena, which she does.

Unfortunately, Tilarna-cat’s lack of thumbs means the crossbow ends up destroyed on the trash conveyor. But the good news is, destroying the artifact reverses the spell, and Tilarna returns to her own body, right when the smuggler has broken in and is trying to get her to cough up the crossbow.

Tilarna allows herself a few moments to jump for joy over getting her body back (as we all would), but the intruder saw her butt and everything else below the waist, so she beats the crap out of him, only sparing his life when Kei arrives, having been briefed by Cecil.

All’s well that ends well, though Tilarna would prefer if Kei were a little more upset about another man seeing her naked, again underscoring their…complex relationship.

With the body swap reversed, the episode trades Tilarna’s lack of pants for a school swimsuit, as Zimmer’s entire unit has a summer cookout at his place. It’s nice to see everyone unwinding after some hard cases—and for Kei’s extreme food snobbishness and bossiness exposed…honestly, he’s almost as bad as Zane!

The fun and relaxation is cut short when there’s breaking news report on the TV: mayoral candidate Nathan Kahns has been shot and killed. They determine the culprit, who had no criminal record, was being controlled by a wizard, possibly Zelada. With the “compromise” candidate in Kahns out, that leaves the Semanian Mozeleemay and the far-right Tourte, who wants to banish all Semanians.

That means this case will have long-term ramifications for all of San Teresa that could threaten the future of human-Semanian coexistance. There’s a small but telling example of the insidious ethnic strife inherent in this case when a beat cop calls a passing Tilarna a “damn alien” under his breath.

Kei hears that, and aggressively defends Tilarna, who is both embarrassed and grateful that Kei did it. Kei’s explanation about how it’s not the same when he uses slurs like “alien” (because it comes from familiarity and not hate) isn’t the strongest, but it is realistic behavior. But Tilarna may find herself turning the other cheek a lot more as they dig into this sensitive case.

Cop Craft – 08 – Meow What?!

After a really heartfelt and powerful episode in which Tilarna made and then promptly lost a friend, Cop Craft takes a week off—to be charitable—with an episode that’s little more than a vehicle for showing as much Tilarna fanservice as possible.

After Tilarna fells a small prop plane, scoring them a crate full of junk that vaguely smells of latena, Kei uses the bath first, then leaves Tilly to analyze the trinkets on her own, with only Kuroi to keep her company.

Kuroi gets a little crazy and starts running around, Tilarna gets stuck by a tiny crossbow bolt, and she and the cat switch bodies. Kei doesn’t pick up on this, only that Tilarna must be sick or something since he wakes up with her in his bed, scantily clad, and about to rub her face against his when the cat—actually Tilarna—comes between them. Kei lets who he thinks is Tilarna to sleep in, but he’s got shit to do, so heads off.

Tilarna manages to text Cecil, who arrives to find a huge mess, Tilarna missing pants, and a cat nodding and texting her. The crossbow just happened to slide into a trash can, and Kei is fastidious enough to take out said trash, so Cecil and Tilarna have to chase it down, but not before Tilkuroi tackles Cecil and knocks her out, further slowing them down.

Meanwhile Kei, seeking O’Neill, walks in on the aftermath of an epic party involving prostitutes, a goat, and habanero sauce, but which is neither here nor there. Honestly, this entire episode felt like it was on hallucinogens and a sedative that ground every action to a halt in an effort to make this a two-parter for some reason. That’s what’s most frustrating: shows can have the odd bad week, but this tomfoolery isn’t even over yet…

Cop Craft – 07 – Keep Your Friends Close

Tilarna and Kei suddenly find themselves deep in the world of vice and political intrigue, as Tilarna serves as bait for a john at a high-end brothel, and they end up arresting Cole Mozeleemay, a powerful Semanian politician running for mayor of San Teresa. While Cole didn’t get far at all with Tilarna before Kei and the cops take the hotel room, the fact he touched her hair is enough to make her upset Kei didn’t bust in sooner.

Mozeleemay very publicly asserts his innocence to the press (gaslighting them in the process), while his ambitious politician’s wife commits to helping him get through this (but that doesn’t mean he can touch her). Tilarna is as expected disgusted by Earth’s slow, plodding brand of justice, especially when even that kind tends to slow even more when a powerful person is involved.

All Kei tells her is that this is the way it is, and that she’s going to have to resign herself to that, as he has over the years. She needs a friend—someone other than Kei—and is comforted when she has a chance encounter with Zoey, the woman who was kind to her at the brothel, and who is also an amateur photographer.

Zoey actually needs help moving after the police raid, and Tilarna, being nice, helps out. Knights may be solitary by nature, but the more Tilarna hangs out with Kei, the more used to relationships she gets. Her need for female companionship must have been stronger than ever considering what she went through and how Zoey (unlike, say, Cecil) can relate to the life.

Tilarna and Zoey become fast friends over their brief time together, and Kei just happens to return to the spot where they split up to pick her up later that night. She’s also enchanted by Zoey’s photography. They continue to hang out despite Kei’s warnings not to get too involved with people they’re investigating (Zoey believes Tilarna is merely a rich runaway).

Meanwhile, the already-tenuous solicitation case against Mozeleemay takes another blow when a list of the club’s clients is leaked to the media. Some of the names are real and some are fake, creating more reasonable doubt for Mozeleemay’s lawyers to use in his defense.

We learn that Zoey is the one who provided Mozeleemay with the list, in exchange for enough cash to afford the gorgeous apartment with an ocean view. Mozeleemay shows his true colors once more when he offers extra pay for a quick trick, but Zoey spurns him. Mozeleemay’s wife, who is following him, spots Zoey exiting his car.

Tilarna, increasingly distraught over the increasing possibility she went undercover and endured what she did for no good reason, brings up the possibility of an employee at the club being the leaker. Jamie shows them the video stills of everyone who accessed the list, and sure enough, Zoey’s photo sticks out.

She goes to Zoey’s place immediately to confront her. Zoey doesn’t answer the door and Tilarna prepares for the worse by drawing her sword, only for Zoey to ambush her…with her camera. She has a photo canvas for Tilarna as a gift for helping her move, but Tilarna is all business, and starts with the accusations. Zoey denies, then asks if Tilarna is a cop, and Tilarna can’t lie.

Then, as the two stand almost back-to-back in front of those huge ocean view windows, a bullet strikes Zoey in the chest, then a hail of bullets shatter the windows as the women hit the deck. Kei, providing backup for Tilarna, manages to shoot one of the two assassins, but he says nothing about who sent him before passing out.

That night, as he watches the news about himself, Mozeleemay gets word that Zoey was shot, and relays the message to his wife when she comes in the room, and noting how it could help him beat the charge. Then he realizes his wife was the one who arranged the hit. She denies it, of course, but taking his hand in hers, tells him he shouldn’t worry about such things—the implication being his job is to win the election; nothing more.

Zoey’s final words to Tilarna before passing out express her disappointment in having been betrayed by someone she thought was a friend. There’s not enough time for Tilarna to explain the complex circumstances, and how she considered Zoey a good friend too. Kei is by her side at the hospital when she learns Zoey has died, and upon returning to her apartment, unwraps the photo Zoey gave her as a gift: a behind-the-back of Tilarna beaming in the sunset. Tilarna takes Zoey’s camera as a memento.

It’s as heartbreaking and poignant as Cop Craft has dared to get so far, and really makes me feel for poor Tilarna. While she’s no fool, she is young, inexperienced, and naive. And Zoey was right when she said Tilarna can’t understand the difficulty of lowborn Semanians trying to go straight in San Teresa. Adding ironic insult to injury, the self-proclaimed advocate of Semanians like her is…Cole Mozeleemay.

Yet look at what he allowed to happen to someone like Zoey, just because he couldn’t keep it in his goddamn pants. I want Tilarna to get revenge, but I don’t want her to get in trouble. At the same time, I don’t want her to suffer the unique turmoil that comes from being perpetually unable to do what is right and just in a world where justice is whatever the most rich and powerful say it is.

As far as Tilarna and Kei’s partnership friendship may have come, Earth still feels like a place that will only continue to eat away at her pure and virtuous soul…as it has already done to him. How can a place like that—which gave her a new older sister then took her away just as fast—ever feel like a home?