How Heavy are the Dumbbells You Lift? – 07 – Meat on the Brain

With the gym closed, the girls decide to take Gina out for a welcome party. Hibiki recommends her brother’s yakiniku (BBQ) restaurant where she works part time. As they chow down, Machio and Satomi hover between them and us, explaining that while beef is a good source of protein for bodybuilders, the cut of meat and even its source determines how much you should eat.

When there’s a slowdown in work, Hibiki takes a load off and tucks into a multi-thousand-calorie meal. Gina believes this is Hibiki’s secret to, among other things, beating her at arm-wrestling: the same ability to consume huge amounts of muscle-building protein as a pro wrestler, only she enjoys doing so! Of course, it’s just Hibiki’s “cheat day,” but she won’t be able to slack off on the other days.

When the others ask why Hibiki has to work five days a week in addition to school and the gym, she says it’s to pay her monthly membership fees and for all the food she eats. Akemi informs her that thanks to her older sister, chairman of the board of their school, gym fees and other training-related expenses are covered by the school! That said, Hibiki still needs to pay for her own food.

While sitting in class and half-paying attention, Gina notices that Satomi has a beauty mark beneath her eye that she’s sure she’s seen before. Sure enough, a quick check of her phone confirms that Satomi is “Yulia Riko”, cosplay sensation. When she tells Satomi that she knows, Satomi assumes Gina wants something in exchange for her silence, as, in Gina’s words, she’s “suspicious of altruism.”

So Gina comes up with a worthy payment: she gets to spend the day with Satomi/Yulia, including a one-on-one photoshoot and sightseeing tour. When Satomi complains of soreness after a nice workout, Gina introduces her to the concept of active rest, which actually helps you recover from fatigue faster than the passive kind (i.e. sitting on your bum and swilling beer). It’s all about aiding circulation of blood (and thus oxygen) throughout the body.

Their active rest for the day takes the form of a brisk but comfortable jog that isn’t overdoing it and enables them to carry on a conversation, all the way to Akihabara. When Satomi hilariously asks the tourist if she’s going there to buy electronics, Gina responds that due to her love of all things Japanese (and a few things that aren’t like Hong Kong and yoga), she’s determined to become an idol…and she’s taking Satomi and her new friends along for the ride.

The public idol audition they end up competing in is judged by a director voiced by Yoshino Hiroyuki (nice cameo!) who is tired of normal-looking girls with a normal level of talent performing normally. That is, until the bikini-clad “Muscle Girls” arrive on stage, riding on the shoulders their burlier fellow gym members. All of a sudden, things are a bit too abnormal for the director…with emphasis on the ab!

Rather than sing, Gina and Ayaka deliver an impressive sparring demonstration, while Hibiki does bench presses with Akemi spotting. Their final act is Satomi, hiding her face behind a kendo mask, performing a perfect deadlift, the toughest and riskiest of the three major barbell exercises.

Despite enthusiastic applause by the crowd, they fail to make the cut…partially because they didn’t sing anything, but also because they were just way too weird. Normal, the director concludes, is fine after all. Too bad; I would have loved to see these guys on tour!

How Heavy are the Dumbbells You Lift? – 06 – Russian to Conclusions

Movie buff Hibiki wants a new home theater system. The only problem is, due in part to her gym fees, she lacks the funds to buy one. Enter the Silverman Gym Arm Wrestling Tournament, which has both men’s and women’s divisions and a grand prize of 100,000 yen for each.

Machio explains the proper setup and form for official arm wrestling, then matches Hibiki up with Ayaka to give it a go. As with boxing, Hibiki reveals she’s a superhuman beast, dispatching Ayaka with ease (and turning the proceedings into a battle manga, with requisite intense faces). Even Machio has to get a bit serious to beat Hibiki.

With Akemi sick and neither Ayaka or Satomi interested in participating, the women’s division’s first round is also the final round, because there are only two combatants! Hibiki, and the short silver-haired foreign lass who up until now we’d only seen the OP and ED: the Russian Nina Void (voiced by Touyama Nao).

Nina is a seasoned veteran in the arm wrestling world, and Russia is a power in that particular sport. She’s also never been beaten by someone her own age, so it’s a huge shock when Hibiki defeats her almost as quickly as she beat Ayaka. It also changes Nina’s plans dramatically: instead of heading back home (which she needed the prize money to do), she decides to enroll at Hibiki’s school as a transfer student.

After going over the three main stereotypes of Russian anime characters (Intellectual with Icy Smile, Emotionless/Cold-Blooded, and Zealous Patriot Type), voicing her desire not to stray too far from any of them, and declaring her love for her dear shirtless bear-wrestling leader Putin, Nina explains how she’s never done that much weight training with equipment.

Instead, she’s a strong proponent of “kipping”, i.e. rhythmic pull-ups and chin-ups that use your momentum. Proper form and consistency mean that the more you kip, the more your nerves know what to do and when in martial arts like sambo. 

Hibiki demonstrates that she’s terrible at kipping, but Nina (wrongly) assumes her rival is simply holding her cards close. Speaking of close, it isn’t until after Hibiki returns home from the gym that she learns that Nina is going to be living with her for the foreseeable future. There will be no escape from the rivalry that has been thrust upon her.

Girls und Panzer – 08

Having beaten Anzio, Oorai moves on to the semifinals, where they’ll face the Russian school Pravda, the foe that defeated Black Forest Peak because of Miho. Her mother intends to disinherit her. The match will take place in the Arctic, and Oorai is outnumbered 15 to 6 by Pravda, led by the bad-tempered, hyper-competitive Katyusha. Miho wants to tread carefully, but the teams want to launch a single direct attack on Pravda’s flag tank to end the match quickly. In their haste, they’re drawn into a village and surrounded by Pravda. Katyusha sends an envoy, who tells them they have three hours to surrender. The student council tells Miho if they lose, Oorai Girl’s School will be closed down.

First, we just want to point out how silly it is to allow 15-on-6 mismatches. The Saunders team cut down their strength to make it a fair fight ; no such luck with Pravda. They’re playing to win, and they aim to crush their inferior foe like a bug; though their rendition of “Katyusha” is very lovely, and belies the fact Katyusha the girl is an insufferable little brat. Second: if your school’s future is on the line, why would the student council agree on the riskiest strategy to win the match – a direct attack on a team that excels at counterattacks – and only inform Miho about the stakes when they’re cornered and about to lose anyway?

Cornered is putting it mildly; two of Oorai’s six tanks are damaged, and in three hours they have ot make a move, the cold will play a factor. There’s no way they’re getting out of that abandoned church in one piece, unless perhaps all the other tanks form a physical barrier preventing the Russkies from hitting the flag tank. Even then, once those tanks are immobilized, the flag is trapped. While the news of the school being closed down if they lose comes out of left field and the girls are a bit foolhardy, this was nonetheless a rousing, fun episode packed with action and peril, aided by the harsh arctic settting.


Rating: 7 (Very Good)

Tank Cameos: Pravda’s main force is composed of 13 T-34 tanks, the mainstay of the Soviet army in WWII. The other two tanks are absolute monsters: a KV-2 (Kliment Voroshilov) Heavy Artillery Tank packing a 152 mm howitzer, and a JS-2 (Iosif or Joseph Stalin) with a 122 mm gun. Darjeeling watches the match beside her ACV-IP armoured car.