ShoBitch ShoDropped

ShoBitch was never great, or even good. It was merely okay, and watchable in a nothing-else-is-on kinda way.

But after an episode that was less watchable—due to the addition of a sheltered rich girl with views on courtship every bit as quirky as Akiho’s and her mom’s—I’ve decided to cut bait.

Unlike Aho Girl, this is a full-length show, and despite decent voice work from Yuuki Aoi, the repetitive humor and predictable MC reactions just aren’t enough to keep me interested or coming back.

To even out the author responsibilities to four apiece, I’ll be taking over 3-gatsu no Lion reviews. Expect little change, as both Preston and I love the show—not to mention she initially took over the first season from me in a similar balancing maneuver.

Carry on, all!

My Girlfriend Is ShoBitch – 03

Honestly, one of the worst things about ShoBitch is its title: it should actually be called Watashi no Kanojo wa Totemo Iidesu. (ほんとに私の彼女はとてもいいです。or My Girlfriend is Really Nice). Because Akiho is not a bitch! She just goes way beyond what is decent in normal daily conversation when it comes to analyzing her boyfriend’s sexual preferences.

Now we learn the reason she is the way she is: her mother Fuyumi gave her this “education.” Haruka learns this rather quickly upon meeting Akiho’s mom, while Akiho’s dad is essentially…Haruka, grown up. You can kinda see in his eyes that it’s been a lot of work living with Fuyumi, but the fact that every other aspect of her is perfect (like their daughter), he has no cause to complain.

In fact, Fuymi is almost too dutiful, to the point of making her husband feel like there’s no way he deserves someone so good. Then he remembers: not everyone could put up with all the innuendo…not to mention imbue their daughter with an almost identical attitude towards…that kinda stuff.

The day of Akiho and Haruka’s first date arrives, and Akiho predictably over-analyzes and over-prepares, to the point of deciding that 30 degrees is the ideal amount of head tilt to maximize her attractiveness to her man, which…yeah, Haruka doesn’t care about your head angle, especially when you’ve got such a cute outfit for the date!

Haruka runs into a bit of bad luck when across from him and Akiho is a real-life pervert with what looks like a blow-up doll-kinda thing(?), and Akiho takes comprehensive notes on both that and the movie they go to see, which is far raunchier than Haruka thought it would be.

That being said, Haruka, like Akiho’s father, is built for this kind of relationship, able to take any and all strange comments and requests, and only gently steer her back in the right direction of things veer off too far. Just being with her for the day made him happy, but that only makes Haruka feel bad for letting her research dominate the date.

Haruka says it’s no biggie; they can just go see the cherry blossoms on Sunday. The thought of another date so soon fills Akiho with joy, but she goes right back into her pattern of over-preparation, and she’s so anxious about the day she becomes sleep-deprived and even gets a fever.

After a trip to the (very inappropriate) nurse’s office and her mother picks her up, Akiho vows to get better for Sunday, and Haruka, not getting his hopes up, is shocked to discover on the day of their date her fever has disappeared. Let’s call it an efficient immune system, shall we?

Alas, most of the cherry blossoms already fell before they got there. Akiho is crestfallen, but again, Haruka reiterates that it’s no big deal (not a lot is  big deal to him, unless she’s on her knees before him in the school hall, speaking in a tone of voice that could be easily misinterpreted).

They can always come back next year, he tells her. Insinuating they’ll be together an entire year from now is awfully bold, but I don’t currently see anything getting in their way. I mean, look how happy Akiho is to hear that!

Speaking of ‘getting in the way’, I was glad none of the other girls in Haruka’s circle made an appearance this week; after the last episode I needed a break, and the show shines best when the lead couple is on screen. It was also neat to meet Akiho’s parents—It was essentially like looking into Akiho and Haruka’s future.

My Girlfriend Is ShoBitch – 02

After Haruka learns Akiho is a lot less comfortable sharing an umbrella in the rain than walking in it and getting her shirt wet (revealing that she’s not nearly as raunchy as all the research she’s collected suggests), we spend a seemingly impossibly long time with Haruka’s moe sister Kana, who is really annoying.

She’s only a year younger than her brother, and learning he has a girlfriend is a shock. Thankfully, after meeting Akiho, Kana realizes it’s not the end of the world; indeed, after some posturing, the two get along swimmingly, much to Haruka’s relief (and after clearing up some misunderstandings)

Akiho is class rep, which means it’s her job to fire up the class to do a formal cleaning, which she does with a stirring speech that inspires the boys about not letting their rooms get so dirty their moms clean them and find their dirty mag stashes.

Akiho is very prone to misunderstandings, so when she hears two guys equate switching girlfriends to discarding trash, she gets very nervous. Luckily Haruka is a sentimental guy who doesn’t like to throw stuff out, but treasure his “personal belongings”, which she also takes as meaning she’s safe from being discarded.

After watching an anime perpetuating the girlfriend making lunch for her boy, Akiho exposes one of her weaknesses (besides taking almost everything anyone says or does the wrong way): she’s a bad cook. What a shocker! Interestingly, Haruka doesn’t even get to try the eldritch abomination; Akiho keeps it away.

Instead, after seeing how good Shizuku is, she begs her senpai to be her cooking master, and in between the inappropriate arrangement of vegetables and the use of many a double entendre, they whip up a mean pot of beef stew.

When Shi asks for Haruka’s banana for desert, he seemingly calls her bluff, making her flustered…but he’s really just giving her his banana (this was a stretch, as they’re in Shi’s house, so they’re her bananas, surely).

Haruka walks Akiho home, but it’s raining again. Both have their own umbrellas, but Akiho decides to take a little step forward by pretending she doesn’t, so she and Haruka have to share, and walk close together so as not to get wet.

ShoB***ch is the definition of pleasant, lightweight rom-com fare. I still found Kana and Shizuku a bit too intrusive this week, and I’m hardly optimistic about the prospect of still other girls entering Haruka’s orbit, gumming up the works. While they’re tolerable at the moment, the show shines when it’s just Haruka and Akiho, with Yuuki Aoi delivering a nice low-key performance with the occasional burst of passion.

My Girlfriend Is ShoBitch – 01 (First Impressions)

Shinozuki Haruka finally summons the guts to confess to the beautiful class rep Kousaka Akiho (an excellent Yuuki Aoi). To his surprise, Akiho immediately consents to be his girlfriend. So this is going to be one of those romantic comedies where the MCs are already a couple, not trying to be one.

Comedy, then, will arise out of the contrasts in how they view one another as people, as well what they each regard as a “normal” romantic relationship to be. It’s both their first romance, but while Haruka is fine with taking things nice and slow, Akiho…well, it’s not that she doesn’t as well, it’s just that she assumes that as her boyfriend Haruka will want more.

I mean, she’s not wrong: we’re introduced to Haruka fantasizing about Akiho lifting her skirt to reveal she’s going commando. It’s just that her matter-of-fact assertions of her awareness to Haruka’s more carnal nature subverts instilled romantic mores that promote a careful and deliberate courtship, thus delaying immediate carnal gratification.

It’s just that Kousaka Akiho has clearly taken to the role of girlfriend with the same care and fastidiousness that net her the class’s highest test scores. She’s done her homework…but her self-training needs to be adjusted from “TV-MA” to “TV-PG”.

That being said, I enjoyed her deadpan delivery of all sorts of sordid things—as well as Haruka’s reactions, which range from bashful to exasperated. The bits are quick come in quick succession in a satisfying rhythm, whether it’s between Haruka and Akiho, Haruka and his childhood friend and “big sis” Shizuku, or all three.

Shizuku has a lot of fun teasing Haruka by not leaving him alone, and one would that by getting himself a girlfriend he’d have to endure a little less of her teasing, but for the moment her primary goal is to get the two a little bit closer.

Unfortunately for Haruka, Shizuku only reinforces Akiho’s inaccurate assumption that she must be always think of ways to maker her and Haruka’s relationship more “extreme.” Haruka manages to get through her head that he’s not like that, and that the two of them get to choose the pace, not Shizuku.

That’s a triumphant moment, because it reveals (if it wasn’t already apparent) that Akiho herself would prefer a less “extreme” pace to their courtship—though she’s sure to keep surprising him with the things she’s researched about romance.

I’m not 100% sure what “ShoBitch” means, but it sounds like too harsh a term to describe the docile, intelligent, thoughtful Akiho. In keeping with its off-putting title, My Girlfriend is ShoBitch toes the line between charming and overly indulgent.

While unlikely, it’s not preposterous that a studious, socially awkward class rep like Akiho could develop an “advanced” (i.e. more adult) ideal of romance (to match her advanced academic facility), and the one guy bold enough to ask her out would be both rewarded and tested. This is worth another look.

Shokugeki no Souma – 02

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SnS keeps the energy pot at a rolling boil this week, delivering another gemstone to be played with by a dog such as myself. I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun staring at a glowing screen. Probably because I stare at glowing screens too much. But one thing’s for sure, SnS has got it goin’ on.

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Souma’s dad ships him off to transfer at Totsuki Teahouse Culinary Academy, telling him from the dining room of a swanky hotel in Manhattan (where everyone from congressmen to monks would give their left nut to eat his food) that if he can’t get in and graduate, he has no business harboring dreams of surpassing his dad.

Souma doesn’t question any of that, but he knows it will be an uphill battle, as he sticks out like a sore thumb on a campus full of pompous, entitled asses, all of them with some kind of elite pedigree in the food industry.

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The most pompous of them all has been chosen to evaluate the transfer applicants, including Souma: the arrogant, imperious Nakiri Erina-sama (Taneda Risa), whose superhuman palate has earned her the nickname “God Tongue,” which if ever taken out of context, could really give some people the wrong idea…especially when you consider she has no problem using her power to melt the hearts of smitten subordinates like Arato Hisako.

Erina has been rejecting food since her first words decried a dearth of flavor…in her mother’s milk. Her whole life story is probably embellished, but the point is, she knows food, and she’s at the top of the food chain. And Souma’s at the bottom.

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Even though all the other applicants, dozens of them, flee upon being given permission to do so from Erina (so as to spare themselves being finished in the food world forever if she were to shoot down their food), Souma stays, because he’s got a job to do: surpass his dad. That means he needs to get in, so he mostly ignores the eccentric behavior of all these rich dummies, remains calm, and starts cooking.

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The exam revolves around the use of the egg, which is simultaneously the easiest food to prepare and the easiest to mess up royally. You want to know if someone can cook? Ask them to make a simple fried egg or omelette. This is essentially what Erina does, and while she maintains a strict dubiousness that this shaved gorilla from the muck will ever hope to excite her royal palate, his white rice seasoned with chicken wing/bonito aspic and egg does just that.

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Erina is the queen of bizarre flavor metaphors, from being hit with a jukebox under a waterfall, to baithing in a hot spring with a gorilla, to being tickled by angel feathers in heaven. But when those angels in her “ha-food-cination” start to bear the commoner Souma’s visage and they start to get all grabby with her sheet, she’s suddenly turned off.

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In this case, Souma’s food really did excite her palate, and indeed her whole body, but it’s interesting to see that everything is relative in SnS. It was far easier to tear the evil developer and her goons’ clothes off than those of one of the most refined palates in the world. On top of that, no matter how phenomenal Souma’s food is, Erina is simply too prejudiced against his bottom-feeder background and his tendency to, uh, treat her as an equal human being (how dare he!).

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Simply put, she doesn’t like him, so she fails him. While certainly a setback for our hero, there’s zero doubt he’ll find his way into the academy with or without Erina’s approval…probably without, which will mean the beginning of a tense rivalry between them. Still, for at least a time, Souma has to stew in the gross injustice of being rejected despite not only facing a formidable foe with unblinking eyes, but actually impressing her. What’s a bloke gotta do to get some respect around here?

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Fortunately for Souma (and us), Erina doesn’t run the academy; her grandfather does. And he happened to eavesdrop on Souma’s exam, and sneaks a taste of his rice. And because he’s not a stuck-up brat, he’s able to dive fully into the flavor and let it wash over him, leading him to shed a bit of his clothing in clear approval. Souma’s back in!

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Shokugeki no Souma – 01 (First Impressions)

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Whoa, what the hell did I just watch? I’ll tell you: something novel, bizarre and ludicrously entertaining from start to finish. Food Wars wastes no time showing us the kind of depraved wackiness it can stir up by giving us this indelible image of Souma’s classmate being ensnared by a giant squid in a sea of peanut butter.

It is a visualization of the grossness and wrongness of the flavor of those two foods when combined; an assault on poor Megumi’s palate in all its metaphoric glory.

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For all the ecchi mischief this episode gets up to, it uses every minute of its running time giving the main hero Souma a complete arc that propels him from his father’s quiet little eatery to the steps of the most elite culinary academy in Japan, blending shonen themes like tradition, moderation, and the comfort of nostalgia butting heads against modernity, excess, progress, and individual growth.

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Early in the episode, Souma’s goals are clear as he nears middle school graduation: continue training in his dad’s restaurant until he’s good enough to inherit it…The End. It’s a simple dream, and not a bad one, either; but it lacks ambition, and it’s indicated that dream doesn’t utilize his full potential.

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That dream also can’t stand up against duel threats coming from both within and without. Let’s get to without first, with the haughty urban life planner, who looks down on Souma, throws her weight around, threatens him, brazenly sabotages his pantry, and laughs maniacally—everything a shonen villain should do.

The traversal of these well-worn storytelling roads is refreshed by the setting of a restaurant and the weapon of food.

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Contrary to the easy, safe dream the developer seeks to stamp out, the challenge she poses brings out the qualities of a shonen hero who might always talk about simple dreams for his future, but will always ultimately be swept up by grander destinies.

Those qualities include pluck, daring, confidence, and resourcefulness, best demonstrated when he fulfills the developers wish for juicy meat by making a “fake pork roast” with bacon wrapped potatoes.

Both the rendering of the food and the animation of its preparation is suitably over-the-top, as if a great battle were being fought, because in Souma’s head, it is.

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Like Koufuku Graffiti, people eating delicious food react in a very overtly, er, amorous way. But like a foe defeated by the hero’s superior skill (or clever trick), the developer’s practical land shark mind can’t compete with her palate, which been set ablaze by the peerless umami-ness.

If she wants to eat more than her first glorious bite, she must give in to his demand she stop going after the restaurant.

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She does, and then both she and her three goons tuck in, resulting in a meat juice-saturated mental orgy of epicurean ecstacy. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have suspected Souma slipped some powerful hallucinogenic drugs in the roast, but no…it’s just really really good.

Again it’s somewhat like Koufuku, bumped up to 11 and rated R. Souma’s food doesn’t just knock socks off, it tears everyone’s clothes away and rummages around in their naughty-bits.

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But Souma can’t enjoy his victory long, as just when he’s cleaning off the defaced sign of the restaurant, his dad announces he’s moving away to work with an old friend, and will be selling the restaurant in two to three years.

Souma, like me, is initially quite wounded by this news, but it didn’t take long for both of us to get it: this isn’t where Souma should settle. He’s bound for bigger, better things.

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He’ll succeed and fail and cause more flavor orgies at the prodigious Engetsu Teahouse Culinary Academy, which has a grad rate of under 10%, he’ll have his work cut out for him, just as a shonen hero should. He’ll also meet friends and enemies and frenemies and enemends whose naked bodies I’m sure we’ll see in due course.

I look forward to watching more of this hilarious, creative…whatever it is, and also to more outstanding metaphors like standing under a waterfall meditating until being hit in the head by a jukebox. It’s pretty Brilliant. Amaburi Brilliant…only raunchier! Moreover, it doesn’t compromise. It gets a weird idea and it commits; no half-measures.

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