Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card – 11

In what felt like a brisk episode, after a class lesson in formulas and equals gets Sakura thinking about how similar the Clear Cards are to Clow Cards she once captured, she has lunch with friends, during which Yamazaki informs everyone the ball sports tournament will begin soon.

On the way home from school, Sakura, Syaoran and Akiho encounter Yuna D. Kaito, who escorts Akiho the rest of the way home. Syaoran, meeting Yuna for the first time, is spooked—the butler is definitely a magic user. Eriol tells him via video chat that there’s an order in the UK that grants it’s highest-ranked magic users “D”—and for Syaoran to stay on his toes.

CCS is nothing if not adept at suddenly shifting from ordinary life to weird magical scenarios. After dinner with her brother during which she notices he switched up a recipe to include butter, she senses the presence of another card, which leads her and Kero to Penguin Park, the venue of a Clow card encounter in previous series.

Tomoyo placed Kero in charge of getting Sakura dressed up and filming her in case of her absence, and it’s a good think Tomoyo isn’t there, because this card loves pulling things off or out of the ground, inverting them, and smashing them back to earth.

In a rare interruption of Sakura’s capturing routine, it even lifts her off her magical circle. It’s only thanks to Kero diving in to catch her that she doesn’tsuffer a big bump on the noggin…or worse. But he wouldn’t have been able to save both Sakura and Tomoyo simultaneously.

Sakura figures out that up and down don’t matter if she’s already in the air, so she activates her Flight Card and secures the “Reversal” Card while airborne in a short but sweet little burst of action.

Unfortunately, just like last time the inverted playground equipment attracts the attention of bystanders and ends up a news story on TV; Sakura and Kero are able to fly home without being seen.

Back home, while chatting with Tomoyo, they also learn most of Kero’s footage is useless since the camera shifted when he caught Sakura. Tomoyo, containing her rage well, orders a training session for Kero so such mistakes aren’t repeated.

Aho Girl – 04

Beneath the twin tails and great skin of Hanabatake Yoshiko lurks an eldritch abomination of idiocy, and woe betide the poor doomed souls all who enter her orbit, for they are irrevocably corrupted (except for A-kun, who merely has to endure her).

Among the condemned is Nozomi, whom the boys try in vain to keep from Yoshiko’s dumb clutches at a department store hero show. While horrendously idiotic, Yoshiko can appear or sound cool in isolated moments, so Nozomi’s descent continues.

Yoshiko’s corrosive idiocy also rubs off on a teacher at school who is simply trying to get her to understand the fundamentals of reading comprehension. But because, like all female educators in anime, their teacher is 28 and single, Yoshiko instinctively pulls on that thread of shame and loneliness, until by the end the teacher doubts everything she’s ever known…and begs A-kun of all people to “teach her about love.”

On the eve of A-kun’s birthday, Yoshiko plans to sneak into his room in the night to “find out what he wants.” She drags an unwilling Sayaka along, and the Fuuki Iinchou accompanies them because she wants a picture of A-kun sleeping.

The resulting antics between Yoshiko and Iinchou result in an ornery Ruri getting knocked out by an errant blow by Iinchou meant for Yoshiko, and everyone gets in trouble…not with A-kun, but with Sayaka, who wonder what the heck everyone is thinking.

There’s also a brief thread in which Kurosaki (Bleach reference?) repeatedly describes himself as one of “Sis’s soldiers”, before eventually becoming A-kun’s “tool”/”dog”…when all he wanted to be was his friend. The connecting thread with all of these stories? No good can come of associating with the likes of Yoshiko.

Aho Girl – 03

It’s a jam-packed Aho Girl with another not one or two or three but four separate stories, starting with a different opening in which the Disciplinary Committee President (DCP) slowly pans into the shot from the right leering at A-kun, until Yoshiko slowly pans in from the left.

From there, Yoshiko’s mom meets Sayaka, and is immediately suspicious she’ll steal A-kun from her daughter (and by extension, her). Thus she uses two pairs of handcuffs (she normally uses on her husband) and tries to get Sayaka to show them her panties, which will determine what kind of girl she is.

When A-kun threatens violence on Yoshiko and her mom, Sayaka surrenders, and when she finally reveals her panties to the women, they’re so white and pure Mom tells A-kun he’s free to be friends with her: she’s no threat.

Part Deux is another “kids in the playground” segment, with Yoshiko wanting to play and the kids preferring if she just studies, since she needs to get a job at some point. I will never tire of their mature, pragmatic banter.

Then a big white dog shows up—a huge white dog—and Yoshiko protects the little ‘uns…by attempting to ride him. There’s a poetry to her being dragged across the dirt telling the jaded kids to “hold fast to their dreams” as she holds fast to the dog, eventually ending up holding him in the air with her legs.

It’s a stray dog, so naturally Yoshiko intends to keep him, so she can keep riding him, and to the kids’ surprise, she seems to have trained him. The girl even calls Yoshiko “kinda amazing”, which immediately concerns her friends.

Following the dog rodeo, Yoshiko suddenly sounds a lot more bright and sophisticated when talking about her one true love of bananas. Her interest piqued by a bold upstart domestic banana farmer, Satou-san, and the taste is so good she bowls’ over backwards, revealing her panties once more.

The sophistocation quickly fades away when she proposes to run to Satou’s farm to meet him, and Sayaka must tag along…to the tune of 100km. Stopping to buy a drink, Sayaka very unwisely sends Yoshiko into a store that sells far more than just drinks, and the phrase “a fool and her money are soon parted” is elegantly yet devastatingly illustrated. The ugly, dull, expensive, yet not not adorable town mascots of “Middle of Nowhere” were a nice touch.

They finally reach the farm, and Yoshiko draws Satou into a perhaps not appropriate hug for an old man who is a complete stranger. Still, Yoshiko seems convinced she knows the man’s soul intimately after tasting his exquisite banana (that sounds wrong but it’s factually accurate). Then it’s up to Sayaka to get on all fours and beg for train fare home. I can’t blame her for not wanting to sprint another 100km home.

In Numero Quatro things get a little frisky and a little dark, as Yoshiko, seeing A-kun is down from not scoring a full 100 on any of his tests (say what you will about her, she’s good at nice round zeros), and decides to cheer him up…the same way her mom cheers her dad up some nights. Oh dear…

Yoshiko is truly an idiot, but she pays attention when she wants to, and was clearly taking very precise visual notes, judging from the attention to detail in which she handcuffs A-kun, talks to him like he’s a baby with an insufferably cutesy tone while stripping. A-kun is not, for a single moment, turned on by the display, and indeed, looks like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world. I’m sure Yoshiko’s mom would be sad to see him that way!

His sister, on the other hand, manages to walk in just after he’d gotten on his feet and delivered a tremendous knock-out drop kick to Yoshiko, and in the very moment he’s lifting her skirt with his teeth to fetch the key from her panties. Poor Ruri! On the one hand, she shouldn’t have to see that. On the other, well…Yoshiko really shouldn’t have to ever see her parents’ foreplay.

Ai Tenchi Muyo! – 42

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As Ryouko surveys Takahashi from a high vantage point, you get the sense she senses something’s up. So when Yuki turns out to be absolutely right about there being a big government conspiracy (though people always sound crazy when they say that) and Kurihara has the Science Club and Momo arrested, Ryouko doesn’t stand idly by.

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Kurihara puts a lightsaber to Tenchi’s throat, insisting she’s done with his games, but Ryouko busts in and uses her diversionary magic to allow Tenchi to escape with the girls.

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Meanwhile, the GP Commander in charge of the operation to extract the “singularity points” finally zeroes in on Washuu, as the warhead is less than 45 minutes from reaching its target. But Washuu isn’t concerned…that is, with anything other than the fact these GP jokers are on her turf. Time and Space are her ‘playground’, and she won’t have interlopers. So what’s she got up her sleeves?

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