Itsudatte Bokura no Koi wa 10 cm Datta. – 04

This ain’t ten centimeters!

Miou’s in a funk and a half, and really just wants to curl up and die, or at least switch places with Serizawa’s dearly departed brother, since she doesn’t deserve to live while he’s dead, and it’s all her fault for drowning. This is of course patently ridiculous…yet here we are.

Of course, Miou doesn’t tell any of this to Akari or Natsuki right away, but they don’t like her in this troubled state and do all they can to support and cheer her up. Such nice friends!

“My finger camera…broken?!”

Miou’s sudden disappearance from his life, compounded with the notice that he’s won the chance to study abroad in America, is also weighing on Haruki. Frankly, both protagonists are real mopey pains in the ass this week, and it was most unpleasant to watch.

I’d like to think I’d have the patience of Miou and Haruki’s friends, but some one can only snap at you, or tell you they’re no good, so many times before one has no choice but to throw their hands up and say “You know what, fine! You’re right! Now go suck someplace else!”

“There you go, quit being a whiny little brat and paint something!”

While Haruki sinks deeper into the muck, even questioning whether he really wants to be a filmmaker or if he’s just carrying on his brother’s dream, Miou thankfully comes to a sort of epiphany when Natsuki begs her and Akari to help her out at a community art class.

Echoing the cold open where a Lil’ Miou wowed her preschool-mates with her drawing, Miou interacts with an ornery little boy and gets him to cooperate and even have fun, then moves from person to person giving tips and encouragement. She clearly has a knack for talking about and teaching art.

“Let’s do this, canvas.”

She also later realizes she can’t keep the secret about Haruki’s brother inside forever or it will eat away at her like a sickness. So she comes clean, only it’s nothing to “come clean” or even blame oneself for; Natsuki can’t stress it to Miou enough: It’s not her fault, and staying away from Haruki out of fear he’ll hate her will only make him hate her.

Natsuki and Akari agree both Miou and Haruki are at their best when they’re on good terms, talking and hanging out together. So even though Haruki can’t see any future with Haruki in it (especially now that he’s headed for America), that isn’t going to stop her from imagining that future anyway—starting on the canvas, which she returns to with newfound desire to fill it with her vision of “love.”

Besides, Haruki may not end up going to America anyway. He just needs a reason to stay.

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Itsudatte Bokura no Koi wa 10 cm Datta. – 03

Miou and Haruki had started to grow just a little bit closer to one another, but the sudden revelation that Haruki’s brother died saving Miou throws their intercept course, as it were, way off, until Miou is suddenly sprinting in the opposite direction.

Even when Saku tells Miou Chiaki was always frail but nevertheless risked himself to save others. Miou living a good life for his sake is “how it should be”, and Miou shouldn’t feel any shame for being the one who was saved.

But she does. She blames herself for Chiaki’s death, and doesn’t see how she can even face Haruki, let alone talk to him, let alone close that 10cm distance.

So Miou suddenly disappears from the center Haruki’s life. She doesn’t get near him or talk to him, and flakes out on the painting competition.

Haruki wonders if there’s anything he did or said to cause Miou to change like this; and he can’t come up with anything, which only increases his frustration. That frustration makes it difficult to focus on editing the film.

When he finally catches her on the rooftop at lunchtime, Miou attempts to retreat wordlessly. Haruki bars her way, and tells her she has to tell him what’s wrong or he won’t understand.

Since there’s no way Miou can tell Haruki what’s really wrong, all she says is that “she’s no good”, and he shouldn’t talk to her anymore.

Haruki’s friends are worried about Haruki, and can immediately tell he’s distracted from the quality of his work. Haruki is mad, because he’s helpless to discern what’s wrong with Miou. Without revealing him the secret he and Miou share about Chiaki, Saku only tells Haruki that Chiaki would have “done what he believed was right.”

All well and good…Haruki doesn’t know what to do! That night Haruki reminisces about how kind and loving his big bro was, and how strong and brave he was, never letting Haruki see him so much as frown, despite his body continuing to deteriorate.

Honestly, I feel for Miou. I don’t know how you’d comfortably broach the topic to Haruki of who saved her from drowning and what happened to that person. I guess you simply don’t do it comfortably. It’s not a pleasant thing to do, but it’s the truth, and I’m of the mind that truth has to come to light if there’s going to be any future for Miou and Haruki.

Both Miou’s secret, how she handled it, and the sudden notice that Haruki has won the chance to study in America, conspired to make this episode feeling very somber, even fatalistic. Here’s hoping next week will bring a ray of light to cut through the gloom, if only a bit.