The Quintessential Quintuplets – 19 – Commencement of Hostilities

The War for Fuutaro begins not with a whimper, but with the bang of a two-stroke engine and the flash of a headlamp. Nino, ready to give up on Fuu once and for all, tells her stepdad she and her sisters are going to keep living on their own a while. Stepdad is poised to shit on the new home they made, but Nino is rescued by Fuutarou, her white knight on his motorbike steed.

Motorbike rides through the city are tailor-made for romantic scenes, as Nino is literally embracing Fuu from behind, and they’re all alone on their buzzing island. So after she finds his exam scores in his pocket (the lowest he’s ever had, though he doesn’t blame them) and he’s thinking about the end of their student-teacher relationship, Nino shoots her shot, telling him she loves him.

Fuutarou doesn’t react at all, which both confuses and frustrates Nino as they join the other sisters. There are other signs of hostilities commencing between sisters even as they share bites of their disparate deserts as thanks for helping each other out. Ichika realizes Miku said she’d confess if she had the highest scores, but Ichika got them…so does that mean it’s okay for her to confess?

As Miku seemingly shot herself in the foot with her wager and Ichika wavers, Nino keeps going for it, joining Fuutarou in the back and even helping wash the dishes with him, another lovely domestic activity. On her way out, she tells him to forget what she said on the bike, that it must’ve troubled him and she went too fast.

In response, Fuutarou genuinely asks: What is she talking about? He couldn’t hear whatever she said on the bike due to the wind. She tells him never mind and scoots off, seemingly glad he didn’t hear her since it means things can go back to the way they were. But then Nino, and QQ, does something I didn’t expect: she marches right back to the kitchen and tells him she loved him.

She has him recall her saying there’s one girl on the planet who’d fall for him, saying “That girl is me. Too bad for you!” Just excellent stuff. I’m so proud of Nino. Poor Ichika can only listen in horror from behind the wall.

Nino says she doesn’t expect a response, but if I were Fuutarou, not giving one wouldn’t sit right with me. Alas, he’s so thrown for a loop he’s unsure how to proceed, and her confession just sits out there. A day or so later Fuu encounters Miku at a supermarket she insists she went to not to see him, but…to enter into a contest with a grand prize of tickets to an onsen.

Because of that white lie, and all the more practical lesser prizes, both Miku and Fuu enter into the contest…and to their mutual surprise, both of them win! While Fuu takes his family and looks forward to being away from the quints to rest and think on things, he learns the quints are on vacation with their stepdad, who’d prefer if it was a vacation away from Fuu.

Nino approaches Fuu like it’s no big dealio, and it’s not—for her! She did what none of the other quints who like him had the courage to do: risk everything by making those feelings plain. With the ball in his court, Nino can relax and keep pushing to become “girlfriend material”. When she calls him Fuutarou, Miku immediately perks up. Also, Itsuki wants to speak to Fuu later.

That night, Fuu finds a note in his cubby saying “courtyard, midnight”, but finds Itsuki in the lobby instead. She asks him straight-up what he thinks their relationship with them (the sisters) is. When he uses the tired “partners” line, she says it’s time to “put and end” to that relationship. Confused and distraught, Fuu takes hold of Itsuki…and gets flipped head-over-heels by the old man at the desk—who is the quints’ grandfather!

The next morning, Fuu calls Itsuki, who assures him she never met with him last night. They meet at the baths, where Fuu tells her about the impostor, who I’m guessing was Miku (because it sounded most like her). Whoever it was, they were trying to do what Nino was initially going to do: separate from him altogether to avoid the heartbreak of rejection.

Right on cue, Nino prepares to join Fuu in the mixed bath (Itsuki is over on the women’s side), but Fuu, having been fooled last night, ruins things by asking her who she is, even though he was pretty sure it was Nino. Itsuki tells him she wanted to ask why the others are acting so odd, something even the typically dense Fuu has noticed.

When Fuu says they’re not “partners” working toward the same goal anymore, Itsuki corrects him: after all they’ve been through, can’t they both admit that what they truly are now is plain old friends? For Itsuki and Fuu, perhaps. But for those who have fallen in love with him, it’s not that simple.

Rating: 4/5 Stars

Episode Seven Quintuplet Ranking:

  1. Nino: Comes out with guns blazing, but all of these early victories make me fear that she’s being set up for some kind of fall down the road. The future aside, the motorbike ride, kitchen re-confession, and mixed bath visit were all sublime. I recommend Fuu marry this girl yesterday. Total Points: 28 (1st)
  2. Itsuki: Seems to be cementing her role as Fuu’s trusty pal and confidante, as well as continuing her role as Ambassador to the United Quintuplets. If this is a long-game strategy, she hasn’t shown her hand, but hey, they’re talking! Total Points: 24 (2nd)
  3. Miku: Between losing to Ichika at exams and to Nino at…everything else, Miku seems to be in dire straits. At the same time, she hasn’t given up yet… Total Points: 17 (5th)
  4. Ichika: …Which is more than I can say for this one. Ichika continues to harbor a negative, defeatist attitude. She couldn’t capitalize on the opening Miku gave her because she was waiting for someone to tell her if it was okay to act. Then again, there wasn’t much she could have done against Nino. Total Points: 18 (Tied for 3rd)
  5. Yotsuba: If it wasn’t Miku disguised as Itsuki in the lobby, maybe it was Yotsuba. It’s how I explain why recedes into the shadows after the bakery celebration. I’m not really sure what (if anything) she’s up to, but it’s not happening on-screen. Total Points: 18 (Tied for 3rd)

Dokyuu Hentai HxEros – 02 – Nothing Can Stand Against Two Beating Hearts

This week we get a look into Retto’s daily life at HxEros HQ, and it’s what you’d expect of three girls with high H-Energy levels. First, the dog Runba steals Momozono Momoka’s panties and gives them to Retto, and she reacts by condemning him for not taking them himself like a man.

Then Tenkuuji Sora wakes up in Retto’s own futon, having mistaken his room for hers. Finally there Shirayuki Maihime, the “most decent” of the three, who drops kibble down her shirt compelling Runba to burrow up her shirt and lick her chest.

So we have the brash, uninhibited girl, the sleepy forgetful girl, and the maternal airhead girl. All just thin caricatures so far, but it’s enough for now. As for Kirara, one meeting with Retto’s uncle and she’s out, not ready to hear she “has what it takes” (i.e. Eros) to be a crucial part of the team.

Back at school Kirara is back to her Iron Maiden act, breaking the heart of a guy on the baseball team, and Retto lets her be, honoring his promise not to tell anyone what went down between them. Kirara can’t help but remember just how precocious and forward she used to be with Retto, even putting his hand on her chest then pulling him close so they could compare heartbeats.

When Kirara asks why Retto bothers fighting the Kiseishuu, it’s because while he can’t do anything about the fact he and Kirara’s relationship was ruined by them, he’s determined not to let it happen to anyone else. Then a bee-like Kiseishuu arrives on campus and attacks the baseball player with a crush on Kirara.

The censor bug is drawn to the kid by his lewd thoughts about Kirara, but while he’s definitely heartbroken about her brusque rejection, he still doesn’t want the bee-woman stealing all of his emotions, and Kirara isn’t about to stand by and let her.

So she goes in, confronts her, and very nearly ends up on the wrong end of her stinger. The moment Kirara thinks her goose is cooked, Retto storms in and delivers a devastating uppercut to the bee-woman, defeating her on the spot, keeping his promise never to let a bug touch Kirara ever again.

The force of his attack is such that it destroys both his and her clothes, however, so when the baseball kid comes back with a cop, they have to huddle up inside an unlocked car. Naked and sweating so close to Retto, Kirara can’t help but remember how it felt comparing heartbeats as kids…only this time it’s her heart beating faster.

Heartened by those good old days when she and Retto had fun together, Kirara reverses her decision and decides to join the HxEros after all. All she asks is that Retto refrain from using her to “recharge” his “stores” of H-Energy and/or Eros. Just as she’s about to note there’s an exception to that rule for emergencies, a stuff breeze gives Retto a full look at her lower half, and the mood curdles instantly!

Over at HxEros HQ Momoka is eager to show Kirara around, but perhaps a bit too eager to have the new quintet bonding in a mixed bath. That said, there’s an unintended positive result of dropping Retto into a pile of naked ladies and accidentally groping Kirara: she gets such a shot of H-energy that when she raises her fist in frustration it not only pokes a hole in HQ’s roof, but destroys the episode’s final boss in one shot!

“GUILTY PLEASURE” are the two words constantly flashing in my head as I watch this funny trashy lunacy. The show is keenly aware of what it is and not ashamed to go all out and flaunt it. And all the details are wonderful: everything from suggestive imagery (upturned faucets, “creative” camera angles) to beats like the bee woman protesting “First I’ve heard of it!” in response to Retto’s promise.

There’s definitely not much to other HxEros, but there’s also an underlying sweetness and depth to the central couple that makes it easier to invest in this beyond just naked bug-busting nonsense. And with above-average visuals and music, it’s a show I have no qualms watching.

P.S. The title of his review paraphrases the Klingon legend of the power of two beating hearts in love destroying the gods and burning the heavens to ashes!

KonoSuba 2 – 09

This week Aqua leans in on the job one would think she was born (in human form) to do: the job of a high priest. That means confessional duties, which she takes very seriously, to the point of stonewalling Kazuma and forcing him to “confess” to breaking her favorite cup and drinking her good hooch, at which point she gets flustered and whiny.

You can’t say Kazuma doesn’t know how to press her buttons! But she’s also cheeky enough to give an old man troubled by the temptation from Eris’ boobs a mantra to repeat whenever he feels that temptation again: Eris pads her chest. The artful way she says it really makes it sound like a mantra, too.

Kazuma, now convinced he won’t be able to get Aqua to reign in her overzealous, abusive followers (who have reduced Megumin to a crumpled ball of nerves, but continue to turn Darkness on), hits the baths. The mixed baths.

There, he sees (and sees, and sees) a buxom (and creeped out) she-elf, a man on the brink from all the proselytizing, and hears an earful of genuinely good things said about him by Megumin and Darkness, but only because they thought he wasn’t there, trying to spy on them.

Still, it’s nice to occasionally hear from the characters why they stick together.

That night at supper, Aqua is in another state, this time because she was kicked out of the very church that worships her, for accidentally purifying the hot springs.

In an ill-conceived effort to re-win the people back, she decides to blame the purification on the Devil King, and asks her party-mates for help in her crusade to save her people and their town. Darkness only agrees to help when Aqua gets up in her face (and purifies her grape juice…how rude!)

I also greatly enjoyed the running gag of Aqua’s holy-element tears of distress actually doing harm to poor, undead Wiz, to the point she’s basically on the verge of death this entire episode.

Kazuma and Megumin are out, obviously, because they have no interest in helping the townspeople, who in their opinion ruin an otherwise perfectly nice town.

In an otherwise lovely day, those people proceed to do jut that: ruin Kazuma and Megumin’s day with constant urgings to join the church, until the two are on the brink of madness.

The townsfolk may be unrelenting in their enthusiasm for aggressive recruitment practices (we witness a number of fine examples), but they’re not fools. Their golden goose is the hot springs, and when Aqua seems to be the culprit in purifying them, they’re not happy.

They also don’t believe, even for a second, that she’s actually the goddess Aqua…even though she is. These are people who live among magic, fantastic beasts, and demi-humans. But the suggestion that Aqua might be an in-the-flesh goddess elicits only stifled laughter or anger.

That anger boils over into an angry mob surrounding the gorgeous inn where Aqua and the others are staying. And all I can say is, how has it taken this long for Aqua to end up with an angry mob (with torches and everything!) eager for her blood? I guess she’s just been lucky.

In any case, the peoples’ refusal to believe their own goddess contrasts with non-Axis followers Darkness, Megumin, and Kazuma’s acceptance of Aqua in their party. They’re all misfits, after all. These guys just don’t do well in big crowds.

And while the mob doesn’t pose any danger (one EXPLOSION from Megumin could resolve the standoff) and may not even be picked back up next week. But it’s a fitting end to a visit to a city Kazuma and Megumin can’t leave soon enough, Darkness can’t help but love, and where Aqua may have lost faith in the faithful.

Majimoji Rurumo – 11

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This was a lovely, upbeat little episode, and a nice way to close out the “ordinary time” of the show before things are sure to go down in the last episode. The events of this week reinforce everything we know: that Rurumo has brought out the best of Rurumo, that Rurumo is fare more than her skill shortcomings, and they’ll always have each others’ backs.

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Those truths are reinforced through an unexpected vehicle: the occult club, seeking recruits and notoriety, enters a band competition, of all things. Not being musically gifted, the lads lean on Tanako, who recruits a crack musical group consisting of Sawashita (guitar/boobs), Inoue Sumiko (bass), Izumi Kyouko (drums), and herself (keyboard). Rounding out the all-girls band “FHK” is Rurumo.

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That’s another surprise: Rurumo has the voice of an angel. She even throws some work and goodwill Masako’s way by telling everyone she’s good at making clothes; she designs witch outfits to go with Rurumo’s get-up, and senpai writes more lyrics to Rurumo’s haunting tune. It’s a classic case of a plan coming together, and it was very enjoyable to watch.

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As it does come together, Ruru-chan notices Kouta is happy, and wonders why. He answers as you’d expect: he’s happy because she’s happy, and having fun doing something she’s never done. FHK is a little too good right off the bat but as soon as they have to perform on a stage Rurumo can’t do it, and Kouta, knowing it’s because she’s so naturally bashful takes her place, covering for her as best he can.

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Of course, Kouta can’t sing worth a damn and FHK washes out of the competition, but getting to the finals was a pretty big achievement, and in any case mission accomplished: the club got a lot more noteriety. Most of all, Rurumo and Kouta exhibit their great regard for one another. And no magic tickets are used! We’ll see how the last episode treats them.

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Majimoji Rurumo – 10

Paradisu!!!!!
Paradisu!!!!!

Placed in such a compliant environment as an inn with a mixed bath, Kouta can’t help but revert to his unrepentant, er, horndogging around. Smartly, the ladies prepared by having towels on under their towels, should he rip them off (which he does). Thus Kouta doesn’t accomplish everything he had hoped to, but just sharing a bath with the ladies is heaven enough for him.

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Table tennis is wonderful.

The second half of the episode puts him through hell, as Senpai makes him drink an innocuous-looking bottle of water as payment for letting him goof off instead of accompanying the Occult Club on their trip to the Ookami shrine. That water turns out to be “oomizu”, or water that transforms the drinker into a wolf. Thus Kouta becomes the exactly what he can sometimes be described: a dog. A real one.

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Requiem for a Wolf

Moreover, he believes it’s divine punishment for his perverted transgressions. Unable to talk, only growl and howl, getting through to anyone is impossible; putting him in one of his biggest predicaments yet. But he learns he has nothing to fear, because whether he’s in wolf or human form, he’s Rurumo’s contractor, and she’ll always be able to recognize him and be there for him.

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“I’ll be right…here (points to heart)…”

Rurumo’s rescue literally saves his life, which is a nice reciprocation of all of the ways Kouta has helped her. But this more than just a transactional give-and-take in which the two keep score of who’s saved whom how many times. Rurumo and Kouta just intrinsically want to help and protect each other. I’ve long given up on declarative statements of romantic affection, but their actions have spoken louder than words.

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