Fabiniku – 12 (Fin) – From the Heart

When Tachibana’s rants and rampage convince Jinguuji that the best thing to do is to disappear from her sight, Schwartz rises as the true hero of this story by smacking Jinguuji in the face a lot harder than Will smacked Chris. Tachibana doesn’t want him gone, she’s proud to be his best friend, and now she needs the kind of praise only a best friend can give.

What snaps Jinguuji out of his long-standing stoicism isn’t just Schwartz’s smack, but him saying it’s normal (and thus totally okay) for guys to be jealous when their friend—another guy—is with someone else. He’d always been told baring his heart to another is weakness, but he can see how it’s always been Tachibana’s greatest strength.

So Jinguuji bears his heart—while parrying the berserk Mehpon’s attacks—by telling Tachibana that far from having “nothing”, she has so much that he doesn’t. Just when he’s getting through to her, Kalm intervenes, sending Mehpon into berserk mode. But with Schwartz covering him, Jinguuji manages to scamper right up to Mehpon, climb and gain acces, where he finds Tachibana lying in the dark.

He then starts praising Tachibana, but not for his appearance, but for all the things, big and little, that he loves about her. Things only an old best friend would know. They run the gamut from her always being considerate to how she kept whiskey at home even though she hated it because he liked it. Shocked by this newfound honesty, Tachibana resurfaces from his self-loathing tantrum.

The two then emerge triumphant, barely escape Mehpon’s self-destruction, and return to the capital together apologize to the king for all the trouble they caused. The king feels just as responsible since it was his daughter who started the rebellion (Yggie herself is wonderfully uncontrite). Then Tachibana and Jinguuji learn that the Demon Lord’s castle is the big white star-like thingy that’s been in the background all along!

Splitting form Schwartz and Lucius (yet not quite able to shake free of Shen) the two head towards that castle. The night before they say their goodbyes and begin their journey, they have a quiet night of relaxation back in Tachibana’s apartment, where she becomes Charmed for the first time—in this case from watching Jinguuji change.

Thus the two find themselves in a hurry. They need to defeat the demon king and restore Tachibana to her manbod pronto, lest the two of them fall in love, get married, and have a kid. But wait…would that really be so bad?!

Rating: 4/5 Stars

Fabiniku – 11 – Gundam Tantrum

The Head Maid Kalm’s plan to set the humans against each other fails when the entire army is converted into happy naked farmers, dispelling her mind control and replacing it with…something else entirely. Despite spending a whole year on this plan, Kalm pulls the plug and goes with Plan B: Just Blow the Whole Kingdom Up!

Do acquire the weaponry needed for such a plan, Kalm and Vizzd lead both Yggie and Tachibana to the royal armory, where two Royal Crests are needed to unlock the vault. Fortunately for the Head Maid, Tachibana’s crest serves the same purpose as a member of royalty’s, and she’s exhausted and super out-of-it thanks to her increased Charm power.

Once they’re in the vault, Vizzd boards the gigantic bunny-like Mech, Mehpon and begins a march towards the capital. While Lucius finds it quite cute and the King himself says it was a gift from their beloved Goddess, it’s clear to all when Vizzd just misses blasting the tallest clock tower in the city into smithereens (while also blasting a hole in the mountain beyond), this adorable giant robot is a serious threat (with the same freakish mouth structure as its much smaller, fuzzy counterpart).

It’s because of that—and because due to his distance from Tachibana he’s has just his usual above-average-for-a-human strength, Jinguuji leaves it to Schwartz to defend the capital and everyone in it from Mehpon’s attacks. At first Schwartz is weary of fighting alone, but when push comes to shove, he and his Holy Sword Gram are more than enough to deflect the mech’s beams.

When Vizzd announces that she has the Hero aboard, Jinguuji fairly deduces that the closer her gets to the mech, the stronger and more able to support Schwartz he’ll get. He’s also certain Tachibana would never voluntarily launch an attack that would hurt or kill others. Sure enough, Tachibana is still quite out of it, floating around Mehpon’s interior with a great view of the action but unable to affect it.

That is, until Tachibana realizes that she can indeed take control of Mehpon whenever she wants. When Vizzd loses control, all she and Kalm can do is bicker through the mech’s video communication system, and I love me a good villain bickering sesh! These two are consistently hilarious in their hubris and ineptness and I was just waiting for Jinguuji and Schwartz to make them sorry they ever took Tachibana hostage.

However, even when they finally get within spitting distance of Mehpon thanks to a trusty Crocodog, Jinguuji’s power doesn’t return. Moreover, Tachibana takes over the mech’s PA system and declares that she will defeat…Jinguuji?!?! Apparently both her time apart with Yggie and her time floating about totally out of it inside Mehpon has caused a lot of pent-up resentment to come out.

As she recounts memories of Jinguuji being excellent and her being nothing but a hanger-on, Tachibana gets more and more upset about how Jinguuji, who is constantly praised, has never once praised her. When he takes Schwartz’s advice and gives her random praise with nothing behind it, it only maker her madder, and he has to deploy the apartment door to shield himself from Mehpon’s beam.

Tachibana has felt “worthless” to Jinguuji, and feels that other than having him as a friend, she has “nothing.” Of course, neither of these things are remotely true, but it stands to reason there’d eventually be a blow-up like this regarding the two friends’ wide margin of general ability.

There are plenty of things Tachibana has, and can do, that Jinguuji doesn’t or can’t. Hopefully Jinguuji can convey what those are in a manner that calms rather than stokes his best friend’s fury.

Rating: 4/5 Stars

Fabiniku – 10 – It’s Only Natural to Help

Without having really thought through a promise like “I’ll do anything for you!”, Tachibana proceeds to serve as Yugrain’s sister-in-arms in the burgeoning rebellion against her father. Men loyal to the king proceed to list the particular type of woman who would sway him to their side, and when Yugrain can’t be that girl, Tachibana picks up the slack. Before you know it, they have a huge army!

Just as Tachibana and Jinguuji stumbled upon a captive Premier a couple episodes back, Tachibana just happens to encounter Maria, whom we know failed her intelligence mission, tied up knots that are almost too specific, like someone well-versed in rope play was simply showing off. Tachibana is distracted and only makes the knots worse rather than loosen them…which kind of describes her and Jinguuji’s fight this week!

Yugrain’s Head Maid, who on the one hand crafted both the cute idol costumes and strategy for the princess’ rebellion, seems to be hiding contempt for Yugrain, and is revealed to be an agent (if not general) of the Demon Lord when she gives Tachibana an otherworldly massage after a tough day of rabblerousing and worried about people seeing up her way-too-short skirt.

Clearly the Head Maid intends to turn the power of Tachibana, the hero of the Goddess of Love and Beauty, to the Demon Lord’s advantage. While working on Tachibana, she falls asleep and dreams of the day she first met Jinguuji. Tachibana was the victim of bullying, but Jinguuji put a stop to it with his overwhelming strength and sense of honor. Tachibana wonders if all along she was simply causing more trouble for him.

Back at the palace, Jinguuji is distracted from being worried about Tachibana for at least a little while by the arrival of Schwartz, who Lucius has taken under her wing. Schwartz may not know much about court etiquette, but he and Lucius are there to help the king put down his daughter’s rebellion, preferably without bloodshed.

Schwartz ends up harnessing the newly-recovered holy sword Gram by slicing through not only the rebels’ weapons and memories, but their clothes as well, sending them into confused retreat. Lucius only lets him bask in the light of his own magnificence for so long before giving him a punch back down to earth.

Schwartz may also still be a bit high on his victory when he teases Jinguuji, saying he’s this out of sorts after Tachibana “cheated on him” just a little. Even a joking implication sends Jinguuji into a heretofore unseen bloodlust as he tries to extract further intent from a terrified Schwartz’s jibes. However, this interaction is interrupted by an earthquake felt by all…are the demon lord’s minions making their move?

Fabiniku – 06 – Cellophane Squid

When Schwartz summons the sleepy and adorable Goddess of Night (Noto Mamiko), the Lord, Lucius, and the town guard all bow their heads, while the goddess notices Tachibana, shrinks to human size, removes Tachibana’s pink coat, and reveals the tattoo that identifies her as a hero of the Goddess of Love and Beauty.

We not only learn that Jinguuji could be considered Tachibana’s “weapon”, as Gram is (or rather was) to Schwartz. They also learn that Tachibana’s charms affect different people in different ways. The lord hopes to enter into a mutually beneficial political marriage with Tachibana, which she seems to be receptive to owing to the promise of three meals and a nap per day.

Jinguuji proves to be more than just her weapon in this world, but also an important devil’s advocate. Tachibana is only looking at the surface benefits and ignoring the disadvantages of the arrangement with the lord. Chief among them is the fact that she and Jinguuji  have been having fun traveling the world rather than staying and working in one place. Rather than let the town become their next office, the two decide to continue their vacation.

While resting in the apartment between towns, Tachibana unearths a composition book from when she and Jinguuji  were in elementary school. Tachibana wrote that her dream of the future was “cellophane tape”, which Jinguuji admits made so little sense he was actually afraid. But it’s instructive that in response to the question “if you could only take one thing on an island with you, what would it be?” The young Tachibana wrote “Jinguuji”.

As for Jinguuji’s dreams for the future, he doesn’t let Tachibana read that part, scribbling over it with permanent marker. This results in a spat between the two, with Tachibana huffing as she walks ahead of him and calling him a useless eggplant. It’s this state of rancor in an unfamiliar land that contributes to Jinguuji losing track of Tachibana.

In the process of looking for her, he finds the same cart in which they briefly spotted the captive elf premier. She’s been taken prisoner to be used as a sacrifice to their deity, which demands only the most beautiful people. The vain she-elf tries in vain to use her “allure” to get her captor to free her.

To add insult to injury, the squid vendor shows up with a captured Tachibana, claiming she’ll be an even more beautiful sacrifice. Obviously Jinguuji will show up in time to save both beautiful women, but until then it looks like we’re in store for a lot more chaotic, irreverent comedy. I’m here for it!

Rating: 4/5 Stars

Fabiniku – 05 – Ch(armor)ed

Lucius, perhaps sensing that Jinguugi and Tachibana might be useful, has them accompany her and the captive Schwartz to defeat a “Living Armor”. On the way, Lucius admits even he is not immune to “Audrey’s” charms, and feels compelled to give her a candy.

The peculiar thing about the Living Armor, which introduces itself as “Vizzd The Incomparably Skilled”, doesn’t so much kill its victims as…steal their clothes. Schwartz runs in headfirst and is the first to be disrobed, followed by Lucius, who is revealed to be a woman—which wasn’t really a surprise.

When Tachibana gives Lucius her pink dress to cover up, she reveals her slip, setting Jinguugi off. When he puts his jacket on her, the Charmed status only increases—such is the power of the “boyfriend shirt” effect. This leads to the two bickering about their “preferences” while Vizzd can get neither a word nor a blow in edgewise.

Jinguugi’s Charmed status and increasing irritability results in him making quick work of the Living Armor, revealing that Vizzd is really a small girl aligned with the Demon Lord was piloting from within. Lucius takes her to the station an interrogates her, but Vizzd is rescued in the middle of the night by a fellow Demon Lord underling, Kalm.

The next morning, Schwartz is hoping to get a peak at Tachibana in her bedclothes (which, dude), only to discover Jinguugi’s “Door to Tachibana’s old apartment” skill. Schwartz notes how much it seems to be a place where a guy lives, which is the perfect opportunity for Tachibana to reveal that she was once a 32-year-old male salaryman.

Schwartz is crestfallen, but Tachibana shows off her effortless ability to make friends—an ability Jinguugi has always been both envious of and perplexed by. Turns out Schwartz didn’t even know he could bring up a menu with his stats and skills. He seemingly activates one when a massive purple mouth-like opening forms in the sky above them…or could the color be a hint that this is that Kalm lady?

Fabiniku – 04 – The Black Swordsman

After much walking and much complaining by Tachibana, she and Jinguuji arrive in the first decent-sized town in this new world. Jinguuji doesn’t want to cause another incident like the one in the village where every man basically went nuts over Tachibana’s Unparalleled Beauty, so he hides it in the most inelegant way: a brown paper bag.

The Browns Fan look does keep men from becoming enthralled, but Tachibana does not like it. She wants Jinguuji to buy her a sword, so she takes off the bag to persuade him, and very nearly does. When the weapons store owner presents a golden hair ornament that will divert everyone’s gaze from its wearer, Tachibana tries to haggle the price with her beauty. This leads to more chaos, and to Jinguuji having to toss Tachibana into the apartment for her own safety and that of the people she instantly bewitches.

Back in the wilderness, she proposes staying in the apartment while Jinguuji does all the long-distance walking, but reconsiders this arrangement when heasks her what would happen if she was in the apartment when he died. The solution is that Jinguuji simply spent most of their gold on the dang crown, which Tachibana loves. As she walks through town, no bag on her head and enthralling no one, she notices how everyone is instead focused on her handsome companion.

The fact that Jinguuji is also wearing a Japanese business suit attracts one person in particular…Kirito! Well, he claims his name is Schwartz von Lichtenstein Lohengramm, but he’s actually a fellow Japanese guy who was summoned there by a goddess (not the same goddess who summoned Jinguuji and Tachibana, mind you). He assumes to have met a fellow “hero” in Jinguuji, but Jinguuji isn’t interested in the guy, who is clearly an otaku.

Schwartz also picks up a weird vibe from Jinguuji and Tachibana as they bicker, first thinking of them as a couple, then wondering if they’re a father-daughter pair, but the daughter has developed feelings for her dad which…the kid clearly reads a lot of light novels, okay?

Schwartz gets it into his head that he need s to prove that he’s a hero to these two, so he whips out his holy sword Gram and launches an attack at Jinguuji. We learn from his inner dialogue that the attack was much stronger than he expected, and that he hasn’t quite mastered his sword. This affords Jinguuji another chance to demonstrate his catlike reflexes when it comes to getting Tachibana out of harms way.

It also results in Schwartz being arrested by Lucius, an officer of the town watch, for destruction of property, with Jinguuji and Tachibana also brought in for questioning. Lucius’ boss gives Schwartz a chance to prove he’s a genuine hero summoned by a goddess by giving him a mission-based quest like one gets in RPGs. It looks like Jinguuji and Tachibana will also get roped into the mission to subjugate a “living armor” that collects magic items. Should be fun!

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