Fabiniku – 12 (Fin) – From the Heart

When Tachibana’s rants and rampage convince Jinguuji that the best thing to do is to disappear from her sight, Schwartz rises as the true hero of this story by smacking Jinguuji in the face a lot harder than Will smacked Chris. Tachibana doesn’t want him gone, she’s proud to be his best friend, and now she needs the kind of praise only a best friend can give.

What snaps Jinguuji out of his long-standing stoicism isn’t just Schwartz’s smack, but him saying it’s normal (and thus totally okay) for guys to be jealous when their friend—another guy—is with someone else. He’d always been told baring his heart to another is weakness, but he can see how it’s always been Tachibana’s greatest strength.

So Jinguuji bears his heart—while parrying the berserk Mehpon’s attacks—by telling Tachibana that far from having “nothing”, she has so much that he doesn’t. Just when he’s getting through to her, Kalm intervenes, sending Mehpon into berserk mode. But with Schwartz covering him, Jinguuji manages to scamper right up to Mehpon, climb and gain acces, where he finds Tachibana lying in the dark.

He then starts praising Tachibana, but not for his appearance, but for all the things, big and little, that he loves about her. Things only an old best friend would know. They run the gamut from her always being considerate to how she kept whiskey at home even though she hated it because he liked it. Shocked by this newfound honesty, Tachibana resurfaces from his self-loathing tantrum.

The two then emerge triumphant, barely escape Mehpon’s self-destruction, and return to the capital together apologize to the king for all the trouble they caused. The king feels just as responsible since it was his daughter who started the rebellion (Yggie herself is wonderfully uncontrite). Then Tachibana and Jinguuji learn that the Demon Lord’s castle is the big white star-like thingy that’s been in the background all along!

Splitting form Schwartz and Lucius (yet not quite able to shake free of Shen) the two head towards that castle. The night before they say their goodbyes and begin their journey, they have a quiet night of relaxation back in Tachibana’s apartment, where she becomes Charmed for the first time—in this case from watching Jinguuji change.

Thus the two find themselves in a hurry. They need to defeat the demon king and restore Tachibana to her manbod pronto, lest the two of them fall in love, get married, and have a kid. But wait…would that really be so bad?!

Rating: 4/5 Stars

Fabiniku – 11 – Gundam Tantrum

The Head Maid Kalm’s plan to set the humans against each other fails when the entire army is converted into happy naked farmers, dispelling her mind control and replacing it with…something else entirely. Despite spending a whole year on this plan, Kalm pulls the plug and goes with Plan B: Just Blow the Whole Kingdom Up!

Do acquire the weaponry needed for such a plan, Kalm and Vizzd lead both Yggie and Tachibana to the royal armory, where two Royal Crests are needed to unlock the vault. Fortunately for the Head Maid, Tachibana’s crest serves the same purpose as a member of royalty’s, and she’s exhausted and super out-of-it thanks to her increased Charm power.

Once they’re in the vault, Vizzd boards the gigantic bunny-like Mech, Mehpon and begins a march towards the capital. While Lucius finds it quite cute and the King himself says it was a gift from their beloved Goddess, it’s clear to all when Vizzd just misses blasting the tallest clock tower in the city into smithereens (while also blasting a hole in the mountain beyond), this adorable giant robot is a serious threat (with the same freakish mouth structure as its much smaller, fuzzy counterpart).

It’s because of that—and because due to his distance from Tachibana he’s has just his usual above-average-for-a-human strength, Jinguuji leaves it to Schwartz to defend the capital and everyone in it from Mehpon’s attacks. At first Schwartz is weary of fighting alone, but when push comes to shove, he and his Holy Sword Gram are more than enough to deflect the mech’s beams.

When Vizzd announces that she has the Hero aboard, Jinguuji fairly deduces that the closer her gets to the mech, the stronger and more able to support Schwartz he’ll get. He’s also certain Tachibana would never voluntarily launch an attack that would hurt or kill others. Sure enough, Tachibana is still quite out of it, floating around Mehpon’s interior with a great view of the action but unable to affect it.

That is, until Tachibana realizes that she can indeed take control of Mehpon whenever she wants. When Vizzd loses control, all she and Kalm can do is bicker through the mech’s video communication system, and I love me a good villain bickering sesh! These two are consistently hilarious in their hubris and ineptness and I was just waiting for Jinguuji and Schwartz to make them sorry they ever took Tachibana hostage.

However, even when they finally get within spitting distance of Mehpon thanks to a trusty Crocodog, Jinguuji’s power doesn’t return. Moreover, Tachibana takes over the mech’s PA system and declares that she will defeat…Jinguuji?!?! Apparently both her time apart with Yggie and her time floating about totally out of it inside Mehpon has caused a lot of pent-up resentment to come out.

As she recounts memories of Jinguuji being excellent and her being nothing but a hanger-on, Tachibana gets more and more upset about how Jinguuji, who is constantly praised, has never once praised her. When he takes Schwartz’s advice and gives her random praise with nothing behind it, it only maker her madder, and he has to deploy the apartment door to shield himself from Mehpon’s beam.

Tachibana has felt “worthless” to Jinguuji, and feels that other than having him as a friend, she has “nothing.” Of course, neither of these things are remotely true, but it stands to reason there’d eventually be a blow-up like this regarding the two friends’ wide margin of general ability.

There are plenty of things Tachibana has, and can do, that Jinguuji doesn’t or can’t. Hopefully Jinguuji can convey what those are in a manner that calms rather than stokes his best friend’s fury.

Rating: 4/5 Stars

Fabiniku – 07 – A God This Delicious

When Tachibana ends up a captive of the squid worshippers, such is the Premier’s vanity that she commits herself entirely to a beauty contest between her and Tachibana regardless of the fact the winner will be sacrificed to a giant squid. Even so, she loses to Tachibana.

Jinguuji and a village trader (who develops a thing for him) soon find and free the Premier, and they discuss strategy over her first hot meal in days (she’s been through some shit). The Premier agrees to work with Jinguuji to kill the Giant Squid God and save Tachibana.

Alas, any admiration or affection she might’ve been developing for Jinguuji is dashed when he uses her as literal floating bait for the squid, whom we learn is very particular about the girls he eats. After a whole day, the squid finally takes the bait at dusk. All the while, Jinguuji has noticed his strength has been sapped of late.

As Tachibana is carried in a cage litter for the seaside sacrifice, she curses the fact she and Jinguuji chose now to have another big fight. She remembers the first one, when she (or rather he at the time) fell behind in his studies and got mad at Jinguuji for not being an easy tutor.

The “useless eggplant” moniker was born, and the two friends didn’t speak for days. However, present-day Tachibana isn’t about to die before she can make up with Jinguuji, so she busts out of the cage and manages to wrest loose her tiara, thus instantly charming the men holding her captive.

This plan backfires when the wives and lovers of those men threaten to kill Tachibana before the squid can. Jinguuji tries in vain to pull the giant squid out of the water with his diminished strength, but regains that strength and then some when he hears Tachibana give an honest and heartfelt rant to the villagers about not judging people by appearances and taking responsibility for themselves.

Jinguuji rips the giant squid out of the water and impales its head on the statue of itself where Tachibana is clinging to dear life. Wounded but still alive, the squid notices Tachibana and attempts to eat her, and the Premier, soaked in black ink, almost helps by pulling Tachibana in.

But then Jinguuji tosses her his trusty Damascus steel kitchen knife, and the Premier, who you thought could sink no lower, pulls what in Demon Slayer parlance could be called a “Sleeping Zenitsu”, which is to say that for a brief moment she does something incredibly impressive and cool—in this case lopping off the squid’s tentacles and rescuing Tachibana in style.

The timing couldn’t be better, because up until this point the Premier had been little more than a walking joke and punching bag. Here, she plays a crucial role in ensuring Tachibana is safe…and goes a step further by grilling the village’s god and having a feast. Her actions are so audacious, the villagers agree to give up their power struggle make her their new leader.

Naturally the Premier isn’t interested, and as she runs from the villagers, Jinguuji and Tachibana make up. It’s not surprising that Tachibana even forgot she was mad at him, considering how much happened to her over the course of a day.

The episode ends with them basically exchanging vows: Jinguuji is to never take his eyes off Tachibana, while Tachibana is to never leave him again. Unfortunately, the Demon Lords generals have now learned that Jinguuji’s power is diminished when he and Tachibana are separated. Their vows will be more important than ever as they draw closer to the capital.

Rating: 4/5 Stars

Fabiniku – 06 – Cellophane Squid

When Schwartz summons the sleepy and adorable Goddess of Night (Noto Mamiko), the Lord, Lucius, and the town guard all bow their heads, while the goddess notices Tachibana, shrinks to human size, removes Tachibana’s pink coat, and reveals the tattoo that identifies her as a hero of the Goddess of Love and Beauty.

We not only learn that Jinguuji could be considered Tachibana’s “weapon”, as Gram is (or rather was) to Schwartz. They also learn that Tachibana’s charms affect different people in different ways. The lord hopes to enter into a mutually beneficial political marriage with Tachibana, which she seems to be receptive to owing to the promise of three meals and a nap per day.

Jinguuji proves to be more than just her weapon in this world, but also an important devil’s advocate. Tachibana is only looking at the surface benefits and ignoring the disadvantages of the arrangement with the lord. Chief among them is the fact that she and Jinguuji  have been having fun traveling the world rather than staying and working in one place. Rather than let the town become their next office, the two decide to continue their vacation.

While resting in the apartment between towns, Tachibana unearths a composition book from when she and Jinguuji  were in elementary school. Tachibana wrote that her dream of the future was “cellophane tape”, which Jinguuji admits made so little sense he was actually afraid. But it’s instructive that in response to the question “if you could only take one thing on an island with you, what would it be?” The young Tachibana wrote “Jinguuji”.

As for Jinguuji’s dreams for the future, he doesn’t let Tachibana read that part, scribbling over it with permanent marker. This results in a spat between the two, with Tachibana huffing as she walks ahead of him and calling him a useless eggplant. It’s this state of rancor in an unfamiliar land that contributes to Jinguuji losing track of Tachibana.

In the process of looking for her, he finds the same cart in which they briefly spotted the captive elf premier. She’s been taken prisoner to be used as a sacrifice to their deity, which demands only the most beautiful people. The vain she-elf tries in vain to use her “allure” to get her captor to free her.

To add insult to injury, the squid vendor shows up with a captured Tachibana, claiming she’ll be an even more beautiful sacrifice. Obviously Jinguuji will show up in time to save both beautiful women, but until then it looks like we’re in store for a lot more chaotic, irreverent comedy. I’m here for it!

Rating: 4/5 Stars

Fabiniku – 05 – Ch(armor)ed

Lucius, perhaps sensing that Jinguugi and Tachibana might be useful, has them accompany her and the captive Schwartz to defeat a “Living Armor”. On the way, Lucius admits even he is not immune to “Audrey’s” charms, and feels compelled to give her a candy.

The peculiar thing about the Living Armor, which introduces itself as “Vizzd The Incomparably Skilled”, doesn’t so much kill its victims as…steal their clothes. Schwartz runs in headfirst and is the first to be disrobed, followed by Lucius, who is revealed to be a woman—which wasn’t really a surprise.

When Tachibana gives Lucius her pink dress to cover up, she reveals her slip, setting Jinguugi off. When he puts his jacket on her, the Charmed status only increases—such is the power of the “boyfriend shirt” effect. This leads to the two bickering about their “preferences” while Vizzd can get neither a word nor a blow in edgewise.

Jinguugi’s Charmed status and increasing irritability results in him making quick work of the Living Armor, revealing that Vizzd is really a small girl aligned with the Demon Lord was piloting from within. Lucius takes her to the station an interrogates her, but Vizzd is rescued in the middle of the night by a fellow Demon Lord underling, Kalm.

The next morning, Schwartz is hoping to get a peak at Tachibana in her bedclothes (which, dude), only to discover Jinguugi’s “Door to Tachibana’s old apartment” skill. Schwartz notes how much it seems to be a place where a guy lives, which is the perfect opportunity for Tachibana to reveal that she was once a 32-year-old male salaryman.

Schwartz is crestfallen, but Tachibana shows off her effortless ability to make friends—an ability Jinguugi has always been both envious of and perplexed by. Turns out Schwartz didn’t even know he could bring up a menu with his stats and skills. He seemingly activates one when a massive purple mouth-like opening forms in the sky above them…or could the color be a hint that this is that Kalm lady?

Fabiniku – 04 – The Black Swordsman

After much walking and much complaining by Tachibana, she and Jinguuji arrive in the first decent-sized town in this new world. Jinguuji doesn’t want to cause another incident like the one in the village where every man basically went nuts over Tachibana’s Unparalleled Beauty, so he hides it in the most inelegant way: a brown paper bag.

The Browns Fan look does keep men from becoming enthralled, but Tachibana does not like it. She wants Jinguuji to buy her a sword, so she takes off the bag to persuade him, and very nearly does. When the weapons store owner presents a golden hair ornament that will divert everyone’s gaze from its wearer, Tachibana tries to haggle the price with her beauty. This leads to more chaos, and to Jinguuji having to toss Tachibana into the apartment for her own safety and that of the people she instantly bewitches.

Back in the wilderness, she proposes staying in the apartment while Jinguuji does all the long-distance walking, but reconsiders this arrangement when heasks her what would happen if she was in the apartment when he died. The solution is that Jinguuji simply spent most of their gold on the dang crown, which Tachibana loves. As she walks through town, no bag on her head and enthralling no one, she notices how everyone is instead focused on her handsome companion.

The fact that Jinguuji is also wearing a Japanese business suit attracts one person in particular…Kirito! Well, he claims his name is Schwartz von Lichtenstein Lohengramm, but he’s actually a fellow Japanese guy who was summoned there by a goddess (not the same goddess who summoned Jinguuji and Tachibana, mind you). He assumes to have met a fellow “hero” in Jinguuji, but Jinguuji isn’t interested in the guy, who is clearly an otaku.

Schwartz also picks up a weird vibe from Jinguuji and Tachibana as they bicker, first thinking of them as a couple, then wondering if they’re a father-daughter pair, but the daughter has developed feelings for her dad which…the kid clearly reads a lot of light novels, okay?

Schwartz gets it into his head that he need s to prove that he’s a hero to these two, so he whips out his holy sword Gram and launches an attack at Jinguuji. We learn from his inner dialogue that the attack was much stronger than he expected, and that he hasn’t quite mastered his sword. This affords Jinguuji another chance to demonstrate his catlike reflexes when it comes to getting Tachibana out of harms way.

It also results in Schwartz being arrested by Lucius, an officer of the town watch, for destruction of property, with Jinguuji and Tachibana also brought in for questioning. Lucius’ boss gives Schwartz a chance to prove he’s a genuine hero summoned by a goddess by giving him a mission-based quest like one gets in RPGs. It looks like Jinguuji and Tachibana will also get roped into the mission to subjugate a “living armor” that collects magic items. Should be fun!

Fabiniku – 03 – No One’s Watching

Jinguugi learns that the beast he slew was a guardian deity, just not the one the villagers worship. Tachibana learns that having long, lustrous hair means it takes forever to dry, and looks a lot better when dried properly. After walking in on her half-naked (which was inevitable with the two of them living together), he does the drying, but wishes Tachibana would hurry up and “return to being a man.”

Regarding the previous night’s forest fire, it was put out by rain, but the damage was done, and the Elf Premier and her two attendants visits the village with hell to pay. Rather than apologize, Jinguugi adopts an arrogant and combative attitude with the Premier, who has a tendency to throw off her cloak to reveal a skimpy outfit, mimicking her naked goddess.

After a battle of words, the Premier, enraged by the destruction of the forest and slaughter of her guardian deity, breaks out the magic arrows bestowed upon her by the Goddess of Love and Beauty. Jinguugi has to grab Tachibana by her scruff to keep her from buying it. She objects to being handled roughly, but the alternative was death. Jinguugi promises her that he’d die to protect her, but she points out that if he died, she wouldn’t last long.

Jinguugi returns fire by launching a rock in the Premier’s direction, which snips of her braid, her mark of elvenhood. After a sobbing session, she vows to her attendants that she won’t return to the village until she’s gotten justice. Meanwhile, Jinguugi and Tachibana head to the nearest big town, about three days’ walk away.

Tachibana soon succumbs to exhaustion, so they stop for the night and enter the apartment. She comes out of her bath to find Jinguuji has prepared a proper dinner, the centerpiece of which is a delectable-looking meat he learned to prepare from the village huntsmen. It turns out to be deity meat, but it’s tasty, so whatevs! The two have a grand old time enjoynig their meal al fresco under the stars, but they soon learn Tachibana’s tolerance for alcohol is as diminutive as her new stature.

As one with a skill called “Troublemaker” is wont to do, the drunk Tachibana runs off into the forest. By the time Jinguuji finds her, she’s restrained by tendrils, hanging upside down over a carnivorous plant…and far more of her skin is showing than Jinguuji is comfortable with. His resulting “Charmed” status paralyzes him, but Tachibana manages to shock him out of it by declaring that, even at 32, he still doesn’t like green bell peppers.

Jinguuji destroys the plant and frees Tachibana, who launches into a drunken rant decrying why she and she alone became a woman, when, for instance, both of them have cute girly names (Hinata and Tsukasa). While helping her walk back to the apartment, Tachibana steals a lingering look at Jinguuji and asks “between body and spirit, where do you think gender lies?”

Jinguuji’s reply is “I think whichever you think is right, is right.” It’s a good answer, and one that clarifies the mission statement of Fabiniku, that no matter whether they’re both guys, both girls, or one of each, these two old friends love and care for each other more than they love anyone else. No exhibitionist goddess or elf premier can take that away!

Rating: 4/5 Stars

Fabiniku – 02 – Fanning the Fires of Fancy

Jinguuji and Tachibana discover that they can summon the latter’s apartment—recreated in perfect detail, right down to the trash—anywhere they want, a portable inn. Unfortunately, Tachibana only has two small TV dinners and nothing else in the way of food. When Jinguuji asks him what he’d do if there was a major earthquake, Tachibana, unguarded, says that obviously Jinguuji would come and save him!

That sweet sentiment aside, the current situation is they have a place to sleep and a reliable source of water, but will have to secure more food soon. Fortunately, a typical medieval fantasy village is not far from where the Goddess dropped them off. When Tachibana (wearing the clothes his sister left at his place) comes afoul of some bandits, they immediately fall in love with her, resulting in all of them brawling each other for her hand.

Jinguuji rounds up all the ruffians, and with Tachibana’s intensely persuasive adorableness they learn the location of their base. But when Jinguuji tells Tachibana to hang back while he handles things, she says that isn’t right. It reminds him of how the two of them first met in middle school.

Jinguuji was raised to be someone who could follow orders, resulting in everyone dumping all the work onto him. But Tachibana pitched in when he didn’t have to, and in doing so restored Jinguuji’s faith in humanity.

Combined with the Goddess’ “Curse”, Jinguuji’s reminicing about his beloved best friend results in him thinking about dating and marriage. When he checks his lovey-dovey behavior by smacking his head into a tree, Tachibana uses a handkerchief to stop the bleeding, and in doing so inadvertently exposed a bit of cleavage.

This, in turn, causes the “Charmed” Jinguuji to wrap Tachibana tightly in his blazer so she’s not revealing any skin. The two bicker as the bandits emerge from their base, thinking they have the upper hand, but the moment they say something about Tachibana, he buries them one-by-one in the ground like rice plants.

With the bandits defeated, Jinguuji and Tachibana discover an expansive horde of loot. They give much of it to the village (from which it was originally stolen anyway), but Tachibana does ask the village to provide her with a new outfit: a pink smock-like dress with a red bow and black fingerless gloves. By now, Tachibana has started to embrace the “omnipotence” of cuteness.

Unfortunately, her “Troublemaker” passive skill results in the bandits’ hideout burning down, along with the entire forest, which comes as a horrendous shock to the local Elven premier. While a step down from the first episode (as second episodes so often are), I’m still enjoying the chemistry between the two old friends, complete with looks back at how and why they are friends.

Fabiniku – 01 (First Impressions) – Old Pal-idigm Shift

Life with an Ordinary Guy Who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout is a stupendously ludicrous title; honestly, even my horribly punny title would be better. Fortunately, the show seems to be far more clever and engaging than its name, and it all comes down to its nucleus of two old friends.

Ordinary but horny Tachibana Hinata and hot but woman-averse Jinguugi Tsukasa aren’t friends because they’re similar—they couldn’t be more different—but the fact of the matter is they’ve been friends for 25 of their 32 years, and you can feel that history in the way they act.

A combination of a typical night of drinking and the classic tongue-in-cheek serious-voiced narrator gives us the skinny on their attributes and internal thoughts about one another. Tachibana is trying to get Jinguuji married off, while Jinguuji is fine being with Tachibana forever.

The mixer they attend goes poorly for Tachibana as usual (all the women gave Jinguuji their contact info) and he gets so drunk he’s face down in the park wishing he could be a beautiful woman whom everyone fawned over. Then an exhibitionist goddess makes it happen!

Just like that, Tachibana and Jinguuji find themselves in a strange forest in the daytime. More concerning, Tachibana’s body melts into green goo than reconstitutes into the body of a petite blonde beauty (with very sharp teeth!) voiced by MAO.

As Tachibana so eloquently puts it, she’s gained stuff up top and lost stuff down below, but her speech patterns and mannerisms are still the same old Tachibana Jinguuji knows…and she’s honest, loves, either in the same way as the friends played by Jonah Hill and Michael Cera in Superbad, or something more romantic in nature.

It’s not even that much in doubt that at least part of Tachibana feels the same way…and that’s before they insult and anger the naked Goddess of Love and Beauty while she’s trying to give them their mission to save the world that she casts some kind of mysterious curse on them.

The immediate effect of this curse seems to be that Tachibana and Jinguuji suddenly find each other even more attractive, something neither one wants the other to get wind of. Their brains simply are too used to each other as best mates to properly process what their hearts are doing.

To their credit, neither one immediately dismisses their feelings as a direct result of the curse. Maybe the curse increased their affection for one another, but it was always there. Only now Tachibana is a woman, and because she is still fundamentally Tachibana, she also happens to be the only woman the distrustful-of-women Tachibana could ever fall for.

This results in a Love is War style battle of wills, with the two trying to get the other to admit their attraction. As the the one with the cute girl’s body, Tachibana goes on the offensive, only to find Jinguuji irresistible simply by being Jinguuji.

Meanwhile, Jinguuji hides his outsized reactions behind his usual stoic calm—a skill well-honed throughout the years staving off all those women who fancied him. He’s never thought about his type, but now he knows it, and it’s his best friend in a girl’s body.

As the two struggle with their new reality, a seemingly harmless and cute-looking fluffy white bunny thing interrupts. No sooner do they call it cute than its face unfurls reveal a grotesque monster. Suddenly survival mode overrides scoring flirting points against one another.

Jinguuji instinctively gathers his suddenly much smaller, lighter, and pleasant-smelling best friend in a princess cary and shows off the fruits of leg day. The two fall down a cliff, enabling the monster to catch up, but rather than continue running, Jinguuji decides to make a stand. He never let some woman take away his best friend, and he’s certainly not about to let some nightmare-faced Gossamer do it!

That’s when he punches the monster right in its core, quite unexpectedly creating a huge hole in said monster’s body. Turns out while he doesn’t look any different, Jinguuji is actually a Level 70 badass. Yes, it’s revealed this world has RPG-style menu screens that pop up in front of one’s face.

Tachibana is a Level 1 Hero, by the way, making Jinguuji her ideal trusty knight. As for their castle, Jinguuji is able to summon what looks like the door to a modern Japanese apartment with one of his active skills; the proverbial rest and save point.

While all the isekai and RPG trappings and their quest to defeat the Demon Lord are sure to play a larger role as our two best friends continue to explore their new lives (and meet more people), I hope the focus remains on how the bond between those two old friends continues to morph and evolve due to a very new and unexpected development.

Rating: 4/5 Stars

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