Hundred – 04

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I’ve taken over Hundred from Hannah, but she didn’t say anything about reviewing it seriously, so I won’t be, and if you actually take this show seriously, do not read this.

One thing I think we can ALL agree on is that Hundred’s first three episodes were seriously deficient when it came to the presence of girls in love with Hayato in one form or another. Seriously, where’s the love for this guy?

That starts to change in a hurry, as sparring with Erica und Fritz earns him the adoration of random extras, and famous idol Kirishima Sakura, who is all pink, natch, has seen YouTube videos of his battles and wants him to be her bodyguard.

With three Savage modules believed shot down but still unaccounted for, it’s the perfect time to put 100,000 warm bodies in mortal danger. The show must go on!

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Baaaaw loogit Big Bro Hayato being a Good Big Bro, securing a ticket to the concert for Karen! Sure, she’ll be one of the people in danger if things go wrong, but family should stick together, especially in potential battle zones. Besides, the fresh air might do her some good…or kill her.

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Aww, sorry Emilia. I guess Hayato can’t keep everyone happy all the time; inevitably making some girls who like him happy means making other girls who like him (or in this case, girls disguised as guys who like him) unhappyor at least disappointed. But hey, at least we know Emi didn’t surrender her key to Hayato’s room.

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Sakura’s very very pink, sure: Pink hair, pink eyes, pink flowers, pink cheeks…she’s pink, capiche? Other than that, she’s your typical dime-a-dozen anime idol, without any particularly exceptional qualities…except perhaps the brazen audacity of holding a concert in an unsafe place, putting her fans in danger. But hey, she’s taking their money and the fine print’s right there on the back of the ticket: Kirishima Sakura LLC is not responsible for death or dismemberment by Savage, etc. etc.

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She’s also a total tease and Hayato takes the bait, embarrassing her in the process when he takes her up on her worryingly detailed plan to marry him.

She also leaves her clothes and underwear carefully strewn around the bathroom when she calls him in to hand her her PDA, because this is 1993 and PDAs are a thing and you do NOT just leave them on the countertop and leave the bathroom, no sir, you have to hand the PDA to the naked girl in person while stepping over her bear pantsu which are an “exception” to her usual pantsu, which are vintage PDA-themed.

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Because this is Macross Hundred, Sakura’s fight is on the stage, and her “weapons” are her voice and a sleek flight suit that is extremely skintight and very similar to her skin tone, making it appear like she’s wearing barely anything at all when she’s actually covered neck to toe.

Sakura’s ability is called “Fairy Tale Fairy”, and I don’t know why Hayato doesn’t just say fuck it and storm off after being subjected to such a terrible ability name. Instead, he watches Sakura fly around for approximately seventy hours.

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His duties for the first day thus complete (who needs a bodyguard when they’re ASLEEP?), Hayato returns to his dorm and is elated to find it deserted, hoping to take a bath by himself.

Early on, Karen read Hayato’s fortune in the cards and warned him to be careful with women and water. I’ll just say for the record that he does not follow her advice.

But Emile/ia is in there and invites him to join her, so they get in some nice nakedtime that’s actually quite subdued until she pounces on him, they end up in an awkward position, and she runs away calling him a pervert. But the scar she got in a tragic PDA accident years ago is healing up nicely because he’s around, so it’s all good!

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Well, not ALL good. Three human-looking baddies whom I assume are Savage (or half-Savage variants) are staking out Sakura’s stage, assuring us they’re on humanity’s side, but not coming off as very convincing. I mean, for a start, where are their PDAs?

But hey, I’ll take Hayato & Co. fighting human-ish Savages than slow, lame monster-ish Savages any day. But why wasn’t THIS in Karen’s card-reading?

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Hundred – 03

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Don’t get me wrong; I knew I was playing with fire by sticking with a show that was clearly billed as not only action sci-fi, but ecchi harem – not to mention watching this after Kabaneri. So if I had a bad time watching this very overtly tone-setting episode of Hundred, it’s my own fault.

The thing is, while this was often goofy and rambling and cliched and patently ridiculous, and I probably don’t need to watch anymore, rather than punch my screen I embraced the silliness for an episode, and mostly just had fun, as Zane did when I handed Recon in G to him. Maybe he’ll take this off my hands too?

I guess I’ll summarize the plot, such as it is: When a bigger Savage than expected shows up, Claire says no way to letting Hayato and Emile tag along, but a midget and a computer immediately convince her to let them tag along. Sortieing involves jumping out of a plane and activating their Hundreds, which made me think: what if for some reason your Hundred doesn’t turn on? I guess you’re dead.

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That aside, Claire, Liddy and Erica have no trouble with one of the small fry, but the larger Trenta-class Savage is too much, and the three are all taken out. I guess it was a good thing they brought two inexperienced rookies with them, or they’d be dead, right?

Hayato plucks Claire out of the air, and he and Emile have at the Trenta, but while Emile is protecting his would-be dueling partner Liddy, the Savage cuts open the front of his shirt, exposing her boobs. When Hayato sees the scar between them, it all comes back to him: this was the silver-haired girl he tried to save back in that flashback. Obviously.

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To defeat the Savage, Hayato suddenly transforms into Overdrive mode, donning full-body armor and almost going too far. He is saved from that by Emilia, who snaps him out of his berserk trance the way you usually snap people out of berserk trances: by french-kissing them.

With that, Hayato refocuses and cleaves the Savage in two with his mighty giant sword of many shapes and sizes. Thank goodness a man was here to save all these defenseless women who were brought down and nearly taken out so easily by a robotic beast thing whose design is so forgettable, I’d have forgotten they’d fought anything if I didn’t have screencaps of it.

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With that, Claire does her tsundere act with the pointing out that Emile has boobs and kissed Hayato and such, and everyone flies back to the Little Garden, safe and sound.

While in the air, Hayato notices a throng of Zwei Islanders holding up a huge sign that reads Thanks a lot with no punctuation, which I actually couldn’t stop laughing at because it read as sarcastic to me. I mean, he did blow up a lot of property in the battle, not to mention the side of a mountain. Those forest fires aren’t going to put themselves out.

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But more than that, the battle itself was very random and all over the place, as the foe took out the supposed veterans far too easily to ever take them seriously again, then the foe turned into a pushover when Hayato stepped in.

But the show was clearly worried I would still take it seriously after that battle with boob grabs and kisses, so the final scene puts the final nails in its coffin. Hayato and Emilia, you see, are “variants”, which is to say they have the Savage “virus” in them, but because they’re special they didn’t die, and instead are really good at killing Savages. It’s a lot like the half-Kabane Kanaberi, Ikoma and Mumei. Only far far worse.

There’s also the matter of how this show will continue to integrate french kissing in its milieu: the exchange of “non-activated” virus DNA with berserk virus DNA—i.e. the exchange of bodily fluids like saliva—are how Emilia is able to keep Hayato from losing himself. Sure, why not?

Just to cap things off, Claire barges into their room to make sure “Emile” has moved out, to find the two making out. Naturally, Hayato trips and falls onto Claire, grabbing her boobs and locking lips. Sigh. And with that, the spell is broken.

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