Kaguya-sama: Love is War – 03 – Sex Ed, Ten Questions, and the Joy of Not Being Driven

When inappropriate literature is confiscated by the headmaster and given to Miyuki to dispose of, Chika takes one look and is scandalized, emphatically challenging fact about 1 in 3 high schoolers having “done it.” That means 1 in three in that very room could have already had an “experience”.

It’s Kaguya who comes right out and said she’s had one, shocking Chika and Miyuki and putting the latter in a bind: if asked if he’s done it, he knows Kaguya will sniff out a lie and likely respond with a devastating “that’s cute.”

Miyuki is defined by being extremely well-liked by the opposite sex (he’s even been given homemade chocolate…full of hair?!?) but utterly inexperienced with same (not counting his non-romantic interactions with Kaguya and Chika). Boundless confidence and pure chastity are a weird combo, but they take a back seat to Kaguya’s situation.

You see, Miyuki is bailed out from having to answer whether he’s “done it” after Kaguya says several things that paint the picture of an extremely perverse upbringing, having “done it” with a “newborn on videotape” and assuming Chika’s “done it” with her dog many times.

He finally asks Kaguya what she thinks “doing it” refers to, and she replies that it means “kissing.” It’s an answer someone who’s been boxed up and protected from any and all sexual education for all of her sixteen years. When Chika finally explains what “doing it” really means (a 15-minute process!), her faces says it all: she’s lost this round.

In the middle segment Miyuki notes how much Kaguya has mellowed, and how in the half-year they’ve worked together he’s come to understand her better. She decides to put him to the test with a game of “20 Questions”, only he limits him to just ten, since he claims to know her so well.

She writes something on a piece of paper, and he’ll have ten questions to figure out what it is. Miyuki is game, while Kaguya senses an opportunity.

Her “yes” and “no” questions take a turn when Miyuki asks “is it something you like” and she suddenly gets all bashful and flustered. He comes to think the thing she wrote down was him, as all the responses fit that conclusion so far.

Miyuki himself is so flustered by the end of the sequence, he blows his ninth question by providing a non-yes/no query. But after thinking about it more (or rather thinking about the other side of Kaguya he knows; the one that plots) He eventually guesses “dog”, and he’s correct.

Kaguya was probably trying to lead him to reveal his feelings by getting him to suggest she was talking about him, but he doesn’t go for it, and in the process proves that he indeed understands her. A win for Miyuki!

The rubber match…isn’t even a match between Kaguya and Miyuki, and Chika’s not even in the sequence. Intead, with a cat holed up in the engine compartment of the car that drives her to school, she decides to walk to school for the very first time, having watched other kids do it thousands of times from the car window.

It’s a beautiful sequence that underscores just how rare an experience this is for the sheltered princess, and knowing Miyuki’s bike route, attempts to “surreptitiously” cross paths so he’ll give her a ride to school. Her plan is seemingly foiled by a crying, scared middle schooler who can’t cross the street without a buddy.

As Kaguya stays with her for all the crosswalks that lead to her school, she learns that like she herself, this girl doesn’t want to walk alone. When Kaguya suggests she just arrange to walk with her friend, independent of official group walking, the girl labels her a genius before meeting up with her friend (who has the colorful nickname “Yeti”).

At this point, Kaguya knows she’ll be late to school, but as she’s coming to terms with that, the crossing sign flashes “stop” and none other than Miyuki screeches to a halt on his bike right beside her. After he gets over the shock of Kaguya being there, he instructs her to get on and ride with him, as it would be a black mark for the StuCo if she were late.

There’s no hesitation or embarrassment in what Miyuki does, and he even puts school rules ahead of traffic rules prohibiting two people on a bike. Logic is on Kaguya’s side today, and you can sense her joy as she rides with the furiously pedaling Miyuki, keeping her skirt down, her hair flowing in the wind.

Even though the next day she’s back in the car, she’ll always look fondly at the one exciting day she set out on foot and got picked up by the boy she likes. Kaguya wins without anyone losing—a marvelous example of the show balancing its usual cynicism with lovely, joyful segments like this.

Other Stuff:

  • The two cats in this episode looked really good. It’s like they were drawn by people who have actually seen cats before! :-)
  • Slight continuity error: In one shot, the Audi A8L in which the cat has taken up residence has a prop shaft holding open the hood, but in the next scene the shaft is gone. In real life the A8 hood has hydraulic struts.
  • Moments after the middle schooler mentions her friend “Yeti”, a real Yeti appears in the edge of the frame, using the crosswalk, as one does.
  • I couldn’t close without mentioning Chika’s absolutely adorable song-and-dance during the credits. Just tremendous animation that has the look of motion capture but without that fake smooth CGI look that plagued Zombieland Saga. A welcome surprise after an episode that was otherwise light on Chika.
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Kaguya-sama: Love is War – 02 – It’s Not as Simple as Win or Lose

As a show that blasts through a lot of rapid-fire dialogue and shifts from one scenario to another, tackling a wide variety of interpersonal and societal concepts, it would seem Love is War trusts the intelligence of its audience.

But if that’s the case, why spend the first four minutes of this episode repeating all of the introductory explanations of how things work in the show? Did they just need to fill time, or did the producers think this all had to be explained again in consecutive weeks with the exact same narration and animation? I got it the first time you yelled it at me, VO guy!

Fortunately, that repetition is followed by three more very solid segments that build on the ongoing (and extremely counterproductive) conflict between Kaguya and Miyuki, starting with the notoriously frugal StuCo Prez finally acquiring a smartphone.

Unbeknownst to him, Miyuki dug into her bottomless rich girl resources to make it so he couldn’t resist buying one, so that he’d have to ask her for her contact info, which she’d consider no different than a confession, which would be a win for her.

While he doesn’t know he only has the phone because Kaguya wanted him to get one, he knows he can’t ask her for her info carelessly, and instead tries to bait her into asking for his by sharing a cute picture of him in his youth to Chika, then announcing he’ll change it in three minutes.

It may seem like playing dirty to use Chika as such a transparent pawn, but it’s not like she hasn’t influenced (and will influence) many of their decisions anyway. In this case, she’s a tool to lure Kaguya, who has to play dirty right back by applying “Maiden’s Tears” and protesting simply that Miyuki is being “mean.” It’s not a tactic she can use every time, but it works here, thanks to the psychological “Barnum Effect.”

However, Chika inadvertently throws another wrinkle into the equation that results in a draw, or loss, for both parties. She believes Kaguya is crying because she can’t chat on Line with her and Miyuki, because her antiquated flip phone—which she’s had since Kindergarten—won’t support the app. For all her towering rich girl resources, sentimentality is her undoing (as is her being unaware she couldn’t get Line on her phone).

As with all of their disputes, this isn’t really one that had to take place at all, if only Kaguya and Miyuki weren’t so proud and petty. This is proven when they innocuously exchange contact info anyway.

In Round Two, it’s frigid outside but Chika is already looking forward to Summer, and warns Kaguya and Miyuki that if they continue to sit on their hands they’ll graduate school with “nothing happening.” Chika means having fun high school memories, but Kaguya and Miyuki clearly see it as ragging on their lack of progress due to simple stubbornness and embarrassment wrapped up in an overstuffed “Love is War!” cover.

Chika suggests a Summer trip together, and Miyuki’s imagination immediately turns to the mountains, where he’ll woo Kaguya under the stars (with the requisite mention of Deneb and Altair before she states her desire to be “Alpha Centauri Bb to his B”). Naturally, Kaguya’s suggestion is to go to the sea, not the mountains.

Miyuki can’t swim, which he knows Kaguya would find “cute”, but every excuse he has, from crowds and sun to sharks, is immediately shot down by Kaguya, who had an entire manual prepared with counterarguments to anything he’d say in such a situation. Miyuki curses her for being such a rich girl; all her arguments backs up by cold hard cash. Besides, Kaguya says, the mountains are full of bugs—something the bug-hating Miyuki didn’t think of.

So he relents and says he’ll have to buy a swimsuit. Kaguya has won; they’re going to the beach, right? Wrong. Chika mentions she also needs to get a new swimsuit…because she won’t fit in her old one. Kaguya enters a body spiral, fearing she’ll be the one called “cute” by Miyuki  he inevitably compares her “peashooter” bust to Chika’s “tank-class” physique.

Now at a stalemate, with both now having good reasons not to go to either locale, they leave it up to Chika. Bad Idea; they should have come up with a third place to go as a compromise. Chika picks the mountains, but due to her previously unmentioned obsession with death and the occult, she picks the creepy Mount Osore. The match ends in neither a win or loss for anyone, but is simply “ruined.”

The third segment was my favorite, because it shakes things up a bit by having a wild card element other than Chika: a classmate seeking romantic advice from Miyuki. The kid assumes, like most of the school, not only that Miyuki and Kaguya are a couple, but that Miyuki is an experience veteran in the ways of love.

The truth is, as we know, that he has ZERO romantic experience, and is a complete dilettante in matters of love. But due to his otherwise high opinion of himself, his intellect, and his ability to bullshit, Miyuki decides to sally forth and offer advice, well aware that if he messes up and his ignorance is exposed, it could ruin his reputation.

This has all the makings of a train wreck in slow motion, and Kaguya is lucky enough to be there to eavesdrop, because we’re treated to her hilarious commentary of the advice session, in which she internally contradicts pretty much every piece of advice Miyuki provides.

She’s certain the chocolate the guy received was obligatory, but Miyuki insists it was meant to show that she actually loves him. Even the guy thinks she was making fun of him with her friends for not having a boyfriend, but Miyuki insists all four girls are into him, and he’ll have to break three hearts to win the fourth. I just couldn’t stop laughing not just at Miyuki’s ridiculous advice, but Kaguya’s harsh critique of same.

Finally, Miyuki demonstrates to the guy how to confess and ask the girl out, by using a tactic he “invented” that is nothing more than cornering a girl and slapping the wall, something Kaguya privately points out has been around forever. The thing is, Kaguya is on the other side of the door when Miyuki slams it, so in a way, he unknowingly does a wall-slam (or “wall-down” as he calls it) on her…and it kinda works.

Miyuki also tells the guy not to engage in unsightly convoluted schemes with the girl he likes, and even he can’t ignore the irony of him making that kind of statement…convoluted schemes being his stock and trade.

The guy, whom Kaguya has concluded to be an even bigger idiot and naif than Miyuki, thanks him for his advice, and brings up the rumor that Miyuki and Kaguya are dating, which flusters both of them. Miyuki quickly denies, and furthermore relays his suspicion that Kaguya doesn’t even like him and may indeed hate him.

When the guy asks him how he feels about Kaguya, Miyuki lists all the things he doesn’t like first, irking her from behind the door, before launching into ebullient praise and declaring her the “perfect woman”. The fact is, Miyuki spotted Kaguya’s hair peeking out from behind the door and so said what he knew she wanted to hear—as well as something he truly believed about her, but wouldn’t suffer consequence since she “wasn’t there to hear it.”

Similarly, Kaguya can openly display her wonderful mood after having such nice things said about her without worrying about him getting suspicious about why; after all, she doesn’t know he spotted her. Still, while there’s no consequence there isn’t much benefit to Miyuki’s actions, as it’s not like he wasn’t able to get Kaguya to confess, so he’s the loser for expending so much effort. On the bright side, as I predicted, the guy’s wall-slam actually ended up working (for once), so go figure!

Watashi ga Motete Dousunda – 12

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And so Kiss Him Not Me comes to an end, with the ending pretty much in the title all along. Mutsumi’s sudden realization of his romantic feelings for Kae make her other four suitors scramble to keep him away from her, but he eventually outsmarts them with a P.A. announcement calling Kae to the school roof.

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Mu, however, does not discourage the others from joining him on that roof and letting their feelings be known. With everyone saying they like her, clearly, and asking if she’ll go out with them, the onus is on her to choose.

Kae flees to A-chan with her predicament; A-chan is understandably frustrated with Kae putting everything in fujoshi terms, but the solution they come up with is for Kae to do things dating-sim-style. The scene is another hint that Kae simply isn’t ready for a 3D romantic relationship.

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She goes on dates with each of the suitors, and has a wonderful time with each of them, as each of their charms are laid bare before her. But it doesn’t make it any easier to choose among them; indeed, it only make the choice harder and more confusing.

All five are great, they’re just lacking that special something that would compel her to choose one over the others. Which is why, in the end, she chooses no one. The status quo prior to their confessions is the situation at the end, for Kae doesn’t “love” any of them the way she loves Shion, who may be resurrected in a new season of his anime.

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So there you have it. Kae has never subscribed to the notion that the princess belongs with the prince, or even that the princess belongs with another princess. She’s all about 5×7, tops, bottoms, and lords. Furthermore, she lives a full and happy life not with a boyfriend or girlfriend, but with her sixteen waifus.

“Sorry, that’s how it is,” she says to her shocked, former suitors. And I can’t really feel that bad for them. They’re all still friends, both with her and with each other. Hopefully they can get over the fact she’s not the kind of girl who’d date them, and never was.

It’s a fitting end to a satisfying, if not perfect show that centered on a genuine ‘unconventional’ girl (whatever that means) who may be a bit naive when it comes to romance, but in the end knows what she wants and what she loves, and isn’t about to conform.

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Watashi ga Motete Dousunda – 11

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Mu’s ill-advised attempt to convince his brother that Kae was already his girlfriend is undermined by everyone else, and only ends up emboldening Kazuma, who now knows that all of them are into Kae, and he’s only too happy to throw his hat in the ring.

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One by one, the group falls before Kazuma, who uses tactics that exploit the weaknesses of each person, be it Shi’s skittishness, Nana and Iga’s reputations, or Shina’s first doujinshi.

It feels a little Wile E. Coyote, in that each character gives up after one attempt to thwart Kazuma, but the point is that only one person can stop him, and he can only stop him by shedding the “meek little brother” act of always conceding everything to him.

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Kazuma is the way he is because Mu always gave him what he wanted. But as he demonstrates in the obscure Sengoku era-themed card game duel, Mu is not willing to cede ground to his brother. He cares too much about Kae.

In an amusing, if not particularly thrilling card duel (during which the gathered crowd and everyone but Kae constantly mention they have no idea what’s going on) Mu executes a just-barely-legal, gutsy move Kazuma did not expect, defeating him by all means at his disposal.

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Mu’s newfound intensity and confidence gets through to Kazuma, who accepts defeat graciously; not something I thought would happen after he locked and taped Mu in a locker just a couple days before. But Kazuma is happy Mu finally stood up for himself.

The group is happy Mu won…right up until the moment he capitalized on his victory by confessing his feelings to Kae, who seems to react positively. That naturally puts the others on edge, as with Kazuma (probably, hopefully) out of the picture, Mu is now back to being their rival for Kae’s heart. Even though she’s content to have sixteen fictional waifus.

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Prison School – 09

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One nice little insidious part of Prison School I appreciate is that it’s not above exposing its high school characters’ ignorance. Neither Shingo nor Anzu knew what Grapes of Wrath was about, assuming it’s some B-movie about giant rampaging grapes or something.

This week no one but Gakuto knows who Sun Tzu is, and assume he’s some telecom guy. But he’s not: he’s a general whose strategic and tactical ouevre will aide the newly-united lads’ last-gasp effort to overturn their expulsion: they must use the mighty Vice President Shiraki Meiko’s strength against her.

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They attempt to do this by appealing to her confidence in her own strength and conditioning, and the arrogance that comes with it. Meiko doesn’t just have an open shirt, she’s an open book, and the countless times she’s demonstrated her strength, either through punishment or intense calisthenics, they know she won’t be able to resist proving naysayers wrong. So they loudly arm wrestle, one of them mentions her by name as being the strongest in the school, and another expresses doubt, because she’s a gurrrrrl. That’s all that’s needed to provoke Meiko.

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Gakuto goes up against her first, and from the prison physique he’s developed, we think he might have a chance, but nope, he goes down in a second. It’s up to the other four to keep her busy for at least ten minutes while Gakuto steals her keys, sneaks into the office, downloads file restoration software, and recovers incriminating DTO emails that will expose the council of sabotaging the boys. If they can publicize that material, they can sway the school, and more importantly the director, into cancelling their expulsion.

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But even with four guys, ten minutes is a lot to ask. Kiyoshi succumbs to her nip-slip far too quickly, Shingo is all talk, and the emaciated Joe gets flung across the room like a dry rubber band, which was one of if not the funniest sight gag of the episode. The only one left is Andre, who must hold up for upwards of seven minutes. 

And while he’s really big, and strong from to the need to lug his weight around all day every day, Meiko probably doesn’t need 100% of her strength to beat him quickly as well…were it not for something completely oblivious to Andre, but which drives Meiko absolutely cuckoo: a very long hair protruding from his nipple.

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This is when things get a little…weird. In a brilliant reversal, Meiko is the one utterly mesmerized by someone else’s nipples. So much so, she begins to daydream of a single tree swaying in the desert, first on a clear day, then during a tornado (when Andre’s breath whips the hair around further). It’s a distraction within the larger distraction of the arm wrestling contest: and it creates a stalemate that is only overcome when she realizes she should just close her eyes, and enough of her spit from yelling excites Tinyface to the point he can’t hold out any longer, and loses.

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It’s a good thing Andre cries out, too, because it gives Gakuto the signal that he’d better get back to the cell, which he does, just in time, holding keys he can innocently say dropped out of Meiko’s jacket while she was wrestling. She takes the keys and departs without suspecting a thing.

If only anything came of the whole enterprise! Yes, despite having time to download and install the restoration software, in the end Gakuto didn’t have any time left to locate the incriminating files, to say nothing of distributing them. His momentary freedom was hard won, and a series of small miracles in and of itself, but it wasn’t enough.

And so, the guys become consigned to their fate, having given it their all. Expulsion is all but certain now, unless they can come up with any other ideas. Sun Tzu didn’t work out, but maybe they can glean a fresh strategem from the telecommunications gentleman’s biography!

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Ore Monogatari!! – 08

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This week’s episode “My Friend” sets the theme immediately with a nostalgic dream Takeo has about the day he met Suna. Suna looks cool, even on the swing, but Takeo senses he’s lonely too. So he runs over, swings himself into a bush, and makes Takeo laugh. Ten years later, and it’s pretty much the same story with these two, who are for all intents and purposes brothers by another mother (and father).

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That past gives way to a present upon cloud nine, with Takeo managing to wring “Don’t Trouble Yourself For Little Old Me” Yamato, whom I notice Takeo isn’t calling “Rinko” yet (to do so would be a big step for the big guy). But as his super long-range vision indicates, her birthday is only ten days away. All she wants is to spend the whole day with him, but he wants to plan a special day for her, for the same reason she wants to  plan one for his birthday next Jan. 1: because he loves her, and doing things for people you care about makes you happy.

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Takeo also gets big news from his super-tough mama: at age forty (but physically 22 according to her), she’s going to have another baby. The talk of birthdays gets Takeo thinking about how people are born, and how glad he is that Yamato was born, and that he had the luck to find her. We already know Takeo is going to be a great big brother, and probably father as well.

What he’s not so great at yet is planning birthday dates; he packs the day with so much stuff without including travel time or accounting for the weather. Enter Suna, who brings the schedule back down to earth, ironically enough with a bunch of activities that he and Takeo once engaged in, and were instances when Takeo did something silly that made Suna laugh.

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Takeo’s kindness and funniness are what drive Suna to want to help him so. The scene where he effortlessly charms the salesperson into holding a broach Takeo wants to get for Yamato is a nice example: Suna knows of his powers, but rather than use them to live the life of a playboy, he uses them to help out a friend when he can.

So it’s interesting and intriguing that throughout the episode Suna is clearly hiding something from Takeo and reflecting any attempts for Takeo to learn what that is. This led a part of me to wonder when the other shoe was going to drop. Now that I know what it was that was really troubling him, I feel bad for thinking ill of him. That’s powerful characterization right there.

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Turns out while his mom and sister are abroad and incommunicado, he’s been all alone in dealing with his hospitalized dad, who has a history of heart problems, and he’s having surgery on Yamato’s birthday. Suna kept it from him because he knew Takeo would offer to spend the day with him instead of his girlfriend.

Suna tells him straight up: that wouldn’t make him happy. He wants his dear friend, who never had any other girl like him back (besides Suna’s sister, but he didn’t know that!) to spend Yamato’s birthday with Yamato. Takeo respects his wishes, and tells Suna not to worry about him, all while in his muscle-revealing “bro cafe” uniform (which is pretty much the perfect part time job for Takeo).

And like he did when Takeo first got on the swing next to him and performed a physical feat of buffoonery, Suna’s frown turns upside down. Seeing Takeo happy makes him happy. He’s a hell of a guy. But I still hope he too finds a nice girl at some point in this show’s run!

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Ore Monogatari!! – 07

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When two heavies in judo outfits confront Takeo while he’s on a pleasant stroll with his adorable GIRLFRIEND, I’m not concerned, because a.) two guys aren’t nearly enough against Takeo, and b.) they’re clearly there to ask him for help. Takeo says yes before he even finds out what they want: for him to join the team, replacing their injured captain.

Agreeing to commit to judo for a month is all well and good…but it will seriously eat into his Yamato time. Like a good boyfriend, he defers to her wishes. Like a good girlfriend, she tells him it’s fine by her. She’s legitimately glad he’s helping the team…not to mention she really wants to see him fight!

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The training is grueling—for the other judo team members, as Takeo tosses them about like ragdolls!—but that training is punctuated with texts of encouragement from Yamato, which he responds to with similar enthusiasm. It’s all very cute, especially when Yamato not only waits for Takeo outside his place with gourmet onigiri (“I can make other things!”), but confesses that she sneaked a look at his sparring—and loved every minute of it.

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There’s a slight chink in the mood when, after spotting a groper warning on a lamppost, Takeo brusquely tells Yamato she shouldn’t come by like this anymore. A chastened Yamato goes to Suna with a double shipment of scones, worried Takeo “doesn’t like her anymore”, but Suna sets her straight, assuring her it’s just another misunderstanding, and counseling her not to get so hung up on little things.

Yamato can hardly help it though, now that she knows what it’s like to be in love—mentioning the rush she gets from the bottom of her heart at the sight or thought of him. It’s a feeling she never wants to lose. She loves him so much, she creeps herself out, and even sees him in the stars, which would creep Suna out if a.) he wasn’t such an understanding and tolerant guy, and b.) he didn’t start seeing him in the stars too!

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Not that Takeo is any less crazy about Yamato. After a hard day of training, he just wants to hear her voice, so texts her and gets an immediate phone call from her. Suddenly on the spot, she starts by introducing herself and then improvising, but she gives him exactly what he wants: her voice.

On the day of the big match that will put Takeo’s school over their rival by one game in the historic series, Yamato (and Suna, for that matter) is hilariously dwarfed by all the huge bodies, but small as she is, her presence is crucial to Takeo’s success.

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When his old grade school buddy Tsuyoshi (who is about the same size as him, surprisingly) sees Yamato, he believes he’s already won, since Takeo has started “wasting his time” on romance. But he couldn’t be more wrong. Takeo may not know exactly what strength is, but Yamato’s presence increases his focus and his resolve to do his absolute best. He’s there first and foremost for her, not the judo team or glory. He wants to put in as much love and effort into his judo as she’s put into her cooking.

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After a spirited bout that excites everyone, not just Yamato, Takeo manages to throw Tsuyoshi down and win the match, putting his school over the top, 3-2. Afterwards, Takeo thanks a Yamato who is already close to passing out from excitement, taking her hands into his and making it plain that he won because she was there cheering for him.

Then the two of them and Suna drop some acid and look up at the sky and spot more constellations…of themselves! And Suna! And a macaron! (Seriously, Yamato would do well on Food Wars…) Takeo was crazy strong before he met Yamato, but now that she’s in his heart, and he in hers, he’s become even stronger. And I’ll tellya what else is crazy strong: this frikkin’ show.

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Ore Monogatari!! – 06 (Caught Up!)

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Due to watching so many romantic anime in which little problems needlessly snowball into bigger ones, it was refreshing to see one resolved in relatively short order. My theory was also proven correct, thanks to the intervention of a somewhat nosy but increasingly understanding Ai. But I don’t want to underscore the difficulty Yamato had in presenting her case to Takeo, which is why she hesitated so much.

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I imagine he’s been operating under the assumption that she’s good and pure because she sees the goodness in his heart and loves him despite his looks. In truth, Yamato likes Takeo’s body, from his eyebrows and full lips to his broad shoulders, rippling pecs, and huge hands. She well and truly has the hots for him, and wants more physical contact, not less.

At first Ai confronts Yamato with suspicion, but ends up agreeing with all the things Yamato says about Takeo, and totally understanding Yamato’s situation, and tells her to go to him and tell him everything she told her; he’s not so fragile he’d cast her aside. Yamato runs off, a huge weight lifted from her shoulders.

Her sudden and adorable faceplant, from which she shoots back up after a beat before continuing on her way, really underscores how pumped up she is, so eager to get to Takeo that she forgets the rudiments of ambulation.

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It might have been better for Ai if her initial suspicions were right; that Yamato was deceiving Takeo or having an affair, because this is the episode in which Ai realizes she’s lost Takeo—not to a hussy, but to a genuinely good person in Yamato, and she hid her own feelings for him too long—partially because they’re three grades apart.

Still, their age difference didn’t matter when Takeo made a “from the mouth of babes” compliment on a beauty she didn’t know she had. She had a growth spurt long before he did, and her tall, lean frame was mocked by classmates as reminiscent of a school statue with the same build. Takeo didn’t know anything about that; to him, she resembled a calla lily. From that point on, Ai was smitten.

But like Takeo aimed to do with Yamato, she decided to wait for him to “grow up,” but waited too long. Ai can’t hold back how upset she is about this, and heads back to college early. She’s happy for Takeo, but devastated that her long-time love has found someone else; someone just as worthy as she is. Good on you, show, for making Ai more than the cliched rival, but a tragic figure in and of herself.

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Ai and Suna find Takeo rescuing a cat from a tree, and tell him Yamato is headed to his place, in tears. They don’t have to say another word, as Takeo demonstrates his impressive running speed and endurance. He meets Yamato in front of his house, where he tells her whatever has been troubling her, she can tell him; she can tell him everything. And she does: She wants to hold hands; he wants to be cuddled; she wants to be kissed by those lips that won’t quit.

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Those are all big steps for her and Takeo, but Takeo assures her they’re steps they’ll take together. Now that she sees she had nothing to worry about, Yamato opens up more to Takeo about how she’s not the good person he thought she was: she found his address by asking around his school, and even left her cell in his house on purpose.

Learning of these tactics doesn’t disappoint Takeo; in fact they make him happy that she went to such lengths to get closer to him. His reassurances move Yamato to tears, something Takeo promised he’d never make her cry again, but Yamato tells him happy tears don’t count. After spending the last few nights worried the truth would cost her Takeo, tonight she’ll be grinning ear to ear knowing the conflict they overcame ended up deepening their relationship. They’re in a good place again, thank goodness. On to the next crisis!

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In the hilarious omake that closes the episode, Takeo, anticipating a kiss in the near future, decides he needs to practice on real human lips; lips that will remain sealed about his practice. Naturally, those lips belong to Suna. I find it ironic that every girl in their school, along with most other women in public, want nothing more than to lock lips with Suna, but it’s Takeo who actually gets to do it—albeit through a layer of plastic wrap!

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Ore Monogatari!! – 05 (Tardy)

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Ho boy: no sooner do I agree with Suna’s assessment that soul mates Takeo and Yamato could potentially grow old and wrinkled, we’re treated to a splash of cold water. On the one hand, I was a little disappointed the show turned back to the issue of poor communication and incorrect assumptions within the couple, but then I remembered: Takeo and Yamato are only a couple now thanks to Suna’s direct measures.

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That means Takeo’s inherent denseness hasn’t gone away, and it was only a matter of time before that denseness led to some kind bump in the road. And while I may be proven wrong in the very next episode, I’m willing to bet the “truth” Yamato is so desperately trying to but can’t communicate to Takeo has to do with his opinions about the kind of person she is.

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Takeo is the guy who puts his body on the line to help others, like saving a boy who fell into a river, almost every day, only for Suna, if he’s around, to get thanked. It’s perfectly reasonable then, for him to have a skewed perspective of the first and so far only girl he likes who likes him back.

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He also turns a lot of the societal discomfort with his immense size on himself with regards to physical contact with Yamato. When he bumps her on the train, it’s an accident, but one of his classmates saw it as a perfect opportunity to kiss a girl. When he touches her head, it’s to trap a ladybug.

Then, on a romantic, starlit walk, he makes it clear to her he “won’t lay a hair on her head until she’s grown up,” convinced she’s a good and pure girl. Heck, he’s even bringing Suna along on their dates because he’s worried he makes her nervous when they’re alone, which we know isn’t the case.

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It’s nice to finally get a peek at Yamato’s life when Takeo’s not around. It’s kind of lonely and sad seeing her all alone in that big dark house, trying to find the right words to text before sending another text that’s all bubbly and girly and promising of baked goods. She then sets to work baking, but doesn’t seem to be enjoying it in the slightest. It looks like she’s doing chores.

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When Suna’s big sister Ai returns home, we learn that she’d always carried a flame for the big galoot, and is not so much shocked as dejected that another girl got to him first. She also immediately suspects this girl sight unseen, because she finds it hard to believe anyone other than her would find Takeo boyfriend material…especially at first sight (though Suna doesn’t mention Takeo saved her).

When she arranges to meet Takeo and Yamato, she notices immediately that Yamato is hiding something, assuming all the worst things. And you know what? There are moments when we’re almost convinced something is up with Yamato, and she’s scared of breaking the big guy’s heart.

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Ai further inserts herself into Takeo’s affairs by offering to talk to Yamato on his behalf, believing it will be easier to talk woman-to-woman. Takeo, creepily perusing a teen-girl magazine to “learn how girls think” at the time, clearly needs all the help he can get. I’m not going to subscribe to Ai’s theories about infidelity—she’s demonstrated beyond all doubt that she really likes Takeo—but I am hoping Ai can get to the bottom of her troubles.

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As for my theory, I think Yamato doesn’t like how Takeo is so quick to call her a good and pure girl. I think she was hurt by all those good moments for leaning in for a kiss Takeo failed to capitalize on. I think she’s frustrated that he’s painting a not altogether accurate picture of who she is (remember, they haven’t known each other that long) She’s perpetuating that persona, and it’s wearing on her.

She wants to set him straight and tell him she wants more intimacy, not less, but can’t find the right words, and is worried he’ll reject her “impure” self. So the problem rattles around her head and keeps her up at night, sitting alone in the dark hugging a pillow.

But I for one think she’s worrying needlessly. All Takeo wants is for her to not be in knots, and I believe him when he says whatever she has to say to him, he’ll accept it. If my theory is correct—that Yamato wants to get closer—he’ll most likely be overjoyed.

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Ore Monogatari!! – 04 (Belated)

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Gosh dang…it is indeed Spring…and that might be the best episode I’ve watched all Spring. There’s certainly no more adorable and rootable couple than Takeo and Yamato. I get on people for taking selfies, but Yamato is allowed, dammit!

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The episode starts off with Takeo still reeling over the happiness in his heart over snagging an honest-to-God girlfriend in Yamato who is herself utterly devoted to him. She derives as much joy from telling her friend on the phone “I’m with my boyfriend!” as Takeo derives from hearing the words.

Yamato asks if Takeo would be okay with doing a Single’s Meet with her; all he has to do is wrangle five of his single friends. He has way more than five, because he’s a great guy. And when Yamato’s five friends lay eyes on Takeo for the first time, their reactions are…understandable, considering they’re products of society, naturally attracted to Suna.

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Whether it’s saving Yamato from falling by plucking her up like a ragdoll, carrying huge loads in their way, or opening a non-twist-off bottle, Takeo’s feats of strength don’t impress them so much as…well, scare them. Like the mom with the baby whose stroller Takeo took to the top, the mom is scared of the big bad-looking guy, while the hot guy next to him gets all the love, even though he doesn’t want it. Suna only smiles and laughs in reaction to something Takeo is doing, which makes the girls swoon.

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Takeo is also a somewhat naive guy who thinks Yamato’s friends will be good people because she’s a good and genuine person. Suna warns him about such assumptions, and then they’re shattered altogether when Takeo and Yamato overhear two of her friends talking shit about him behind her back, calling him “barely human” and a “gorilla.” It’s cutting stuff, and to it’s credit the episode doesn’t hold the elephant in the room back. On the surface, to most people, Takeo is a frightening bear-man.

This is a fact Takeo knows all too well, to the point that the insults roll right off him; he’s heard it all, both to his face, behind his back, and in people’s eyes. He’s more upset about Yamato being hurt, causing her to exclaim to them “He’s really super-cool!” before running off.

Fortunately, Takeo is able to head her off in no time, as his gait is significantly longer, and assures her everything is fine. He brings out one of his simple yet powerful sayings, about their being “all kinds of people”, without whom they wouldn’t have met. Yamato, bless her, finally wonders if maybe she just didn’t properly explain to her friends how cool Takeo is, blaming herself for their ignorance.

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Then…the frikin’ cafe EXPLODES.

I must say, I really wasn’t expecting that, but there was foreshadowing earlier, what with the bucket and boxes blocking the hall and the locked emergency exit. This establishment has lots of fire code violations, which lessened the randomness of the incident. In any case, with the two girls who talked shit about him still inside the burning building, Takeo doesn’t hesitate to rush in to save them.

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He’s able to carry one of the girls out to safety, then uses his big body as a shield to protect the second from getting smashed by debris, allowing her to run out on her own. After calling fire and ambulance, Suna calls Takeo, and tells him he’d better come out of the cafe soon, because Yamato has to be held back from going in after him by her two friends.

There’s true love in action here, people. Not only between Yamato and Takeo, but Suna and Takeo, who tells him with a voice that almost breaks that his life will be too boring without him. Like the Hulk, Takeo summons an extra reserve of strength to slip out from under the debris and blast out of the cafe window in dramatic fashion.

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Yamato rushes over to him and is almost lost in his arms as they embrace, with Takeo completely oblivious that his back is still on fire. The girls he saved thank him, and all the girls’ hearts skip a beat when he shoots them a look of affirmation, in spite of themselves. Takeo may not be their type, but now they know he’s a great guy and the right match for their Yamato. And they know they were wrong to insult him.

I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to have a non-harem romantic comedy in my stable; one where the guy and girl don’t get lost in tangled webs of misunderstandings and omission and hesitations and love triangles. This couple is alright; heck, Suna sees them old and wrinkly talking about how much they love all four of the seasons.

But more than taking the roads less traveled, no other show this Spring captures how gosh-darn good it feels to be in love and be loved back. Food tastes better, the air smells fresher, and the sun shines brighter. Things that are indisputably awesome: Takeo; Yamato; Suna; and this show.

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One Week Friends – 10

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I went there recently in Nisekoi, and Golden Time before it…down to rock bottom: the lowest possible point for our protagonist in dealings with his love interest. The question going into this week was, will things start to look up this week, or would One Week Friends still have deeper depths for Yuuki to plumb?

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Well, things aren’t great, but they could certainly be worse. Kaori’s memories have reset, but she still has her diary, it informs her that Yuuki is her friend, and she seems willing to continue along that path with him. But Yuuki’s frustration is both palpable and understandable. All of his work, ruined by a random transfer student. I can imagine him protesting through the fourth wall: “Who’s writing this stuff?”

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Having Hajime around could be a source of constant strife for Yuuki, as its possible anything he happens to say to Kaori, regardless of motive, could reset her all over again, and there’s only so much a guy can take (the realization Kaori doesn’t know what the 18 grams of sugar means causes him to break down on the staircase). It’s an untenable limbo.

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Something has to give, and that something oddly turns out to be Hajime’s ignorance of Kaori’s condition. He’s as skeptical as Yuuki was, but now he at least knows how his words could have been a bit harsh under the circumstances. One couldn’t really blame him for believing she had simply discarded him, but now he knows the truth, or at least the truth Yuuki is aware of.

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When Hajime hears about how Yuuki and Kaori maintain their friendship, the pain from Kaori’s perceived betrayal likely fuels his opinion on the matter: it doesn’t sound like a real friendship to him at all. Kaori is merely writing in a diary, after all, and the facts in a diary can be changed by the author. It’s true, a diary is no substitute for memory, but the latter can be just as open to interpretation.

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Hajime tries to re-germinate a kernel that Yuuki had previously tabled; the possibility Kaori is making this all up. He’s aware of that possibility, but he feels he wouldn’t be worthy of being her friend if he didn’t trust her, and he’s decided to keep trusting her, even if she’s making him jump through more hoops than most normal friends would. The last thing he wants to be is someone like Hajime.

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Stray Observations:

  • After Yuuki’s first, somewhat hostile chat with Hajime by the drink machines, when Hajime leaves, we half-expected Shogo to say “I kinda like that guy!” half just to mess with him, half because he means it.
  • Further complicating matters for Yuuki: Hajime is much more on par with Kaori in the academics department. They also used to study poetry together. Aw, jeez…
  • Big development in Shogo+Saki: unable to marry Kaori (she doesn’t live in any of the twenty U.S. states that allow same-sex marriage), Saki comes right out and adorably proposes to Shogo, not jokingly at all. Shogo, caught off guard, quickly retreats, but Yuuki sees how red his face got. That’s one damn fine supporting romance there. So economical, yet hits hard!
  • I’m convinced the show is just trolling us now with the Crêpe Dates. How many times now has Yuuki tried and failed to take Kaori out for crêpes? Will it ever happen without a hitch? IT HAD BETTER.