Oregairu 3 – 11 – The Best Time to Buy In

“There are infinite ways to express a single word,” says Shizuka-sensei, literally illustrating that by writing all the rather harsh negative words she can conjure to describe her relationship with Hikki, then scribbling them all over until the word “love” remains. She tells Hikki if he can’t find a single word, use all the words he needs (he’s no stranger to this practice). If words aren’t enough, pair them up with actions.

This week, Hikki does just that. He finds his words—not the ideal words or the words easiest to understand—but the words that are at least imperfectly sufficient to get his point across, and he pairs them up with bold action. The next day after school Hikki shares an afternoon of nothing with Yui, and she tells him her wish is for Yukinon to be part of them.

With the end of the service club, that seems unlikely to be east or even possible for Hikki, who is so bad at expressing or responding to people’s feelings. The word he uses most is associated, as in he does not want to stop being associated with Yukino.

When Yui hears this, a heartbreaking display of emotions runs across her face, but to her surprise and pride, no tears come out. They do, however, come out once she comes home, and her mom is there to hug her. For all the words Yui and Hikki said, the ones that are meant are “Yui, it’s not you, I love…it’s Yukino”. What she knew all along.

On to Hikki’s action. With the prom over and the service club disbanded, he decides to take his fake decoy prom out of mothballs and make it an actual thing, lack of resources be damned. This provokes an emergency meeting with Yukino, Yukino’s mom, and Haruno, the latter of whom seems to finally be getting satisfaction from how Hikki is doing things.

In effect, Hikki is setting himself for abject failure…unless Yukino takes charge and “saves” him. As someone who ran the first prom so splendidly her mother acknowledged her, Yukino couldn’t save face if she turned this down, and the Yukinoshita family would suffer a blow to its vaunted reputation. So she accepts.

In return, Hikki says he’ll “take responsibility” for anything and everything that results from this supposedly ill-fated venture. Even though none of the words explicitly indicate it, the exchange sounds an awful lot like Hikki is asking Yukino’s mom for her daughter’s hand in marriage.

In the end, the PTO had no say in whether the fake prom became real, so Hikki wasn’t negotiating with Yukino’s mom or Haruno. It was all about creating a new opportunity to regularly associate with Yukino…and she took the bait. That night while walking home, Yukino is confused about what Hikki thinks he’s doing, when she told him to respect Yui’s wish.

Since Yui’s wish is for the three of them to remain together, Hikki tells Yukino he’s fulfilling Yui’s wish by doing this. This angers Yukino, who doesn’t like all the verbal gymnastics being used and wants to “get better at doing this”, but Hikki is more pessimistic: in the process of trying to get better, he believes they’ll drift further apart.

Hikki streamlines these sentiments with a pretty cool line: “If I let you go, I can’t grab hold of you again,” backing up the words by grabbing her hand as she power walks away. He then clarifies that saying he’ll “take responsibility” isn’t sufficient to express his true emotions about it. What he really wants is to have responsibility; for her to let him have it.

Initially Hikki hesitated in telling Yukino what he wanted, but Yui told him he had to tell Yukino anyway, even if it’s not the same thing she wants. So he does: he wants to remain involved with Yukino, not out of obligation, but desire. Putting it only the way Hikki can, he asks for the “privilege of distorting” Yukino’s life.

Yukino is a little put off by the innate harshness of such a word as “distortion”, but Hikki points out that distorting each other’s lives is not only unavoidable, but not a bad thing. And while he knows he doesn’t have a lot to offer her, he pledges anything and everything if he can be involved in her life.

A flustered Yukino tells him she’s troublesome and will cause nothing but problems and will eventually become more useless when she relies on him. He responds that he’ll just have to become more useless. After she play punches him and he tenderly takes her hand and holds it at his hear, she hugs him and asks her way: “Please allow me to have your life.”

“A bit stiff,” as Hikki says, but he’s hardly in a position to complain! And that, my friends, is how these two crazy kids confess to one another and ask to continue to be part of each other’s lives. I feel bad for Yui, but she’ll be okay. And that’s the point: no matter how much of a SNAFU their relationships have been or will be, they’re still young, and still learning what romance is and how love feels. They’re all going to be okay!

Oregairu 3 – 08 – The Person in Charge

It’s the much-belated appearance of Hayama Hayato, the only person who comes right out and tells Hikki that he shouldn’t be going about things this way. Hayato is already helping the StuCo, but frankly he partially blames himself for helping out in a previous scenario that didn’t turn out so well.

Hikki, while grateful for his friend’s candor, insists this isn’t about codependency, but personal pride and satisfaction. That pride extends into the purchase of a high-end camera and learning how to use it for a beach photo shoot that will be the hero(ine) image on the website.

Despite this, Ebina Hina still has to flip a couple of switches on the camera so it will take the most dramatic pictures, just as she, Yui, and Yumiko have to take off their shoes in the freezing cold water for it to seem “genuine”.

The final product speaks for itself and looks fantastic, and the Gaming Club nerds are again surprised by Hikki’s formality and gratitude for their and Zaimo’s assistance. Little did I know this would be all he’d call on them to do, since the “dummy prom” effort comes to an end this week!

With the site in place, Hikki needs his fake prom plans “leaked” to the PTO (AKA Yukino’s mom) and recruits Haruno for the job. Like Hayato, Haruno won’t stand in his or Yui’s way but doesn’t see how his argument for it not being codepenency is anything other than a battle of semantics.

She suggests they simply “watch over” Yukino as she works towards her goal alone, and Yui is the one to rebut that. Watching over someone, to her, isn’t any different from staying away from them, even abandoning them. That’s no way to “end things properly”, as all three of them desperately wants to do.

The next day (or so), thanks to Haruno, her mother has gotten word of the second prom proposal, and quickly outmaneuvers Hikki’s slipshod preparation for the meeting by declaring the gig is up, she knows his prom is a decoy, and as such isn’t going to move the needle on the PTO’s position.

That said, Hiratsuka (who prior to the meeting asked Hikki out for ramen sometime) offers a solid assist to Hikki in stating that the current options on PTO’s table are to look over the adjusted proposal for Yukino’s prom and retain some influence on the event, or risk the rebellious elements of the student body hold the event outside school grounds and rules.

Yukino’s mom still doesn’t show her cards, but to add a game metaphor, Hikki considers her the queen in a game of chess, and as such someone he can turn into an ally if he uses a very specific underhanded tactic only he could use: his name, which she recognizes as the boy who got hit by her car.

This has the intended effect, thankfully for Hikki, since after that he’s probably out of moves. Yukino’s mom is impressed with his “remarkable intrepidity”, even unfolding her fan as if to concede his point. Responding to her question about his leg injury by telling her it’s stronger than ever and he’ll display it by dancing at the prom…chef’s kiss.

We backtrack a bit to Yui visiting Haruno again on her own to take exception to her use of the term “codependency”. Haruno proceeds to harunosplain it to Yui, but Yui doesn’t budge. When Haruno dismisses her dream to be together forever with the other two as “not genuine”, Yui doesn’t see how it can’t be, considering how much it hurts.

Let it be said Haruno practices what she preaches. She and Hayato were an item, but it wasn’t sufficiently genuine. And things she deems not genuine aren’t simply an annoyance, they are repellent, and she’ll say and do what she thinks she must to stamp them out.

Hikki visits Yukino in the Service Club room to tell her that her revised plan was safely approved by the PTO, making her the winner of their prom rivalry. She begs to differ: because she went along with his decision to make a competition at all, and trusted that he’d succeed in getting her prom approved, she feels that he is the one who won.

Yukino takes this trust in him as further evidence of her dependence on him, but Hikki still maintains that because her prom was approved, she won this particular rivalry. She takes it the next step to say that if he insists she won, then he has to do what she says, which is to grand Yui’s wish.

Yukino tearfully tells Hikki how much she’s cherished the time the three of them have spent in the Service Club, but the “seemingly fake” relationship that has resulted from their continued interaction is “wrong” and different from what Hikki “desired” for them.

Therefore it’s time to end that relationship right there. Hikki leaves without argument while Yukino hopes this is the “correct ending”. Later, Yukino meets with Yui and while she doesn’t explicitly say the relationship they had had is now over, Yui can see it in Yukino’s smile.

Still, by essentially placing the ball in Yui’s hands, there’s a chance that even if one relationship between the three is coming to an end, it doesn’t mean a new beginning isn’t in the cards. The question is what form that beginning takes. After all, it’s certainly not Yui’s wish that the three stop talking or seeing each other.

In this way, Yukino is doing the same thing with Yui’s wish she claims to have done with Hikki’s alternate prom plan: relying on it, knowing full well she will find a way just as he did. Haruno’s strict ideal of what is properly genuine—maybe these three are simply destined to keep relying on one another as they continue to stumble towards adulthood.