Fruits Basket – 19 – The Audacity to Live

While Shigure’s editor Mitchan is on a mission to collect his manuscript, he misdirects her, and she ends up crossing paths with the latest member of the Soumas to be introduced: Souma Ritsu, or “Ritchan-san.”

Immediately, her defining characteristic seems to be “cripplingly apologetic and self-loathing” on a show where Tooru, Yuki, etc. are already here!

When Tooru accidentally hugs Ritchan, who is trying to run away for being such a nuisance to everyone, she suddenly transforms into her form, the Monkey, and Tooru learns that she is actually a he in women’s clothes, which he’s always worn since he was a young lad.

Upon transforming back (off-camera), Ritchan is challenged by Shigure and Tooru not to reflexively apologize so much, and when Mitchan returns he’s called upon to placate her. That’s when Mitchan prepares a noose with which to hang herself then writes to her parents in her will, apologizing for leaving this world before them.

Ritchan and the others are able to talk Mitchan down, and Shigure reveals he has his manuscript ready for the deadline, but then Ritchan spills coffee all over it and Mitchan faints from the shock. That’s when Ritchan decides to climb up to the roof, indicating his desire to jump off and end his miserable, worthless life.

The source material of Fruits Basket shows its age by once again making light of both Mitchan and Ritchan’s threats of suicide, only for Ritchan’s latest threat to be taken seriously by Tooru, complete with her trademark relaying of lessons she and her mom learned together and empathetic pep talk.

The juggling of disparate tones didn’t work for me, largely because it’s initially treated as a silly character quirk. That left a bad taste in my mouth that is hard to set aside even when the show suddenly takes Mitchan and Ritchan’s intermittent intentions to die seriously. It’s as if it’s trying to have its (fruit)cake and eat it too (or at least a book about fruitcake).

Tooru’s assurance that no one knows the reason they were born, but that it’s enough to just keep living until they find that reason, be it through something or someone, is definitely a welcome and vital message to all who feel like Ritchan and Mitchan sometimes feel.

But I’ll admit I was a little distracted not just by the show’s past flippancy on this subject, but the fact Tooru nearly died herself by slipping on the roof tiles.

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Zoku Owarimonogatari – 05 – A Clockwork Araragi

Koyomi finds himself face-to-face with Kanbaru’s late mother Gaen Tooe in all her glory, but unlike Princess Kiss-Shot, being in her presence too long doesn’t make him suicidal. It’s a rare thing indeed for Koyomi to converse in such an intimate setting with an adult woman—again, Shinobu excluded—a cougar, if you will, made more strange by the fact she’s not even alive on Koyomi’s side.

Her frisky teasing and facial features remind him of Kanbaru, but there’s a decided sharp edge to her, quite becoming of a mother who left a monkey’s paw to her daughter—which was really a part of herself she split off. I like her leitmotif, which includes a cello, like her contemporary, Kaiki Deishu.

Tooe’s first piece of advice to a very nervous and confused Koyomi trying to figure out what’s going on is this: “knowing and not knowing don’t matter.” As proof, she infers just about everything about Koyomi’s situation and the state of his world, even though she entered the bath knowing nothing.

Tooe also underscores the necessity of properly facing your other side, as she and Izuko did, and as Suruga will have to do one day (referencing Hanamonogatari, which chronologically takes place a month after Zoku). Face it and acknowledge it not as a rival or blood enemy, but a partner, be it light or dark.

She also tells Koyomi to tell Suruga when he sees her next that her mother told her “don’t be like me.” She then mysteriously vanishes, leaving nothing but scratch marks on Koyomi’s back reading “Naoetsu High.”

When Dr. Ononoki inspects Koyomi’s back when they meet back up, the marks are gone, but Koyomi still thinks his old high school should be his next destination. Ononoki decides they’ll split up; she’ll visit Shinobu again to see if she’ll say anything else she might’ve wanted to say to Koyomi but couldn’t due tot he time limit.

Then she’ll search for Black Hanekawa to try to learn why she saved Koyomi from the Rainy Devil. Both tasks are designed specifically so she can avoid accompanying Koyomi to Naoetsu High, suggesting that while Koyomi’s influence has changed her personality and viewpoint, there’s still an innate part of her that is of this world, which understands Koyomi ultimately has to figure this out on his own.

To blend in at Naoetsu, Koyomi heads home to change into his uniform, only to discover it’s a girl’s uniform. One that, when he puts it on, actually fits pretty well. It would seem, then, that Koyomi’s theory about his other side in this world being Ougi was correct; for one thing, Ougi’s uniform is very baggy, as if it was meant for someone with a larger build—like Koyomi.

As he cross dresses without hesitation and rides his bike to school once more, Koyomi is extrmely cognizant of the fact that while he may have influenced a bit here and there in this world, it’s already starting to influence him, changing him into Ougi, which would mean Araragi Koyomi as we know him would cease to exist.

Meanwhile, after a fruitless visit to Shinobu’s, Ononoki finds Hanekawa hanging out with Mayoi and Kuchinawa…only it’s not Black Hanekawa, it’s Mini Hanekawa. Mayoi explains Hanekawa has many other sides, including her younger self. They’re all toasting the approaching end of this story, wherein this entire alternate world is revealed as nothing but the “product of a grand misunderstanding.”

That end is imminent because Koyomi is drawing closer and closer to noticing and facing his other side, Oshino Ougi. Strolling down the corridors of his old school, it doesn’t take him long to figure out, as Tooe thought he would, which part of that school meant the most to him – the classroom isolated from time and space.

It’s here where he finds Ougi, who has been waiting a very long time for him to show up. If that first episode of Owarimonogatari was the beginning of the end, and Koyomi saving Ougi at the end of Ougi Dark the end of the end, we’ve finally reached the beginning of the end of the epilogue, where no doubt Koyomi will suss out why this world exists, why he’s here, and how to return home—where he may be between titles, but at least the Karens are tall and the Surugas aren’t homicidal.

Fruits Basket – 06 – Not One to Ask for the Moon

After a particularly narratively and emotionally heavy episode that ends with Tooru back where she belongs, we get something much lighter, starting with the cultural festival at school, the great success of Tooru’s onigiri, and Yuki giving his upperclassmen the going-away present of cross-dressing for them.

We also meet a Souma relative somehow more annoying than Kagura (though mercifully less violent): Momiji, the pint-sized half-German who is brazen enough to hug Tooru in the middle of school and transform into his Zodiac form, the rabbit. Thankfully Yuki manages to distract the class with his charms.

We also meed Momiji’s minder, Souma Hatori, whose animal remains a mystery for now (my money’s on Ox), and who was the one who altered memories the last time Yuki’s secret was exposed to normies. Once he and Momiji are gone, Yuki laments to Tooru how unmanly it is to be called “cute”, and she can’t deny she thinks he’s cute-looking too.

Yuki throws her for a sudden dokidoki loop when he tells her he’s sure she’d look much cuter than him in his princess dress. While heading inside, Tooru is confronted by her BFFs Uotani and Hanajima, who are concerned she’s hiding something from them from the way she’s acting around the Soumas. When she says she’s living with them, she assures them there’s nothing to worry about.

Uotani and Hanajima decide to determine that for themselves, leading to an impromptu visit and sleepover at Shigure’s house. Tooru learns (and is duly #impressed) that Shigure is an author, of both “high” and “low” literature. While Tooru is grabbing some playing cards, Uotani and Hanajima wonder if they’re actually useful friends to her anymore, considering in her dire need they weren’t there to help.

Kyou and Yuki tell them she doesn’t sweat things like that, nor does she “ask the moon” of her friends. It’s more than enough for Uo and Hana to be by her side, like they were at her mom’s funeral, like they are at school, and like they are tonight at her new home. Tooru confirms this by telling them the story of her baseball cap, which a boy (that looked an awful lot like Yuki or Kyou in silhouette) gave her when she was feeling sad and lonely years ago.

After a good night’s sleep in Tooru’s awesome bed, Uo and Hana have some breakfast and give the Soumas their official approval. Not only are they kind gents (despite their spirited cat-and-rat rivalry), but they already know Tooru well, and appreciate her. Yuki and Kyou also agree that Uo and Hana can come back anytime…as long as the Souma family secret is maintained.

Speaking of which…Souma “Memory Modifier” Hatori is Tooru’s latest “Ominous End-of-Episode Phone Call,” basically ordering her to report to the main house on her next day off school to speak to him and possibly meet Akito, the family head—who admits in a scene with Shigure that he does ask the moon. Now what could they want with Tooru?

Sarazanmai – 02 – Let Slip the Cats of War

As a reward for defeating their first kappa zombie, Keppi bestows upon the boys a silver “Dish of Hope” they can use to wish for anything. Enta snatches it and accidentally wishes for a hatchback-sized cucumber roll, shattering the dish and leaving the three with no reward (unless they’re going to eat that roll…which is on the ground).

Kazuki is eager to earn another dish that he can use not to fulfill his own wish, but that of his little brother Haruka. We learn that he is the “Harukappa” to whom Kazuki is sending selfies of himself-as-Azuma Sara. Kazuki’s only wish is that Haruka is happy, and a dish can only help that cause.

Meanwhile, Kuji Toi is up to more criminal mischief on behalf of his older brother, while Enta receives a Kappazon package meant for Toi—containing a handgun of all things—strengthening Enta’s belief he’s Bad News

When Nyantaro, the fat, awesome neighborhood cat Haruka adores, sneaks into Toi’s weed-growing lab and steels a shipment hidden in cat treats, another ludicrous chase ensues. Kazuki (dressed as Sara again) stops Toi when he threatens Nyantaro with his metal ruler, and refuses to get out of his way or stop following him.

The chase leads them to a couples-only theme park, an employee of which dresses the two up in bee costumes and insists they hold hands the entire time they’re in the park. Kazuki and Toi hold hands and chase Nyantaro on ride after ride, but can’t manage to close the distance, since we’re talking about a neighborhood cat here: if he doesn’t want to be caught, it’s not happening.

We learn a little more about the two bishounen cops from the end of last week, who appear to do an elaborate song and dance of their own to extract desire and create a new cat-based kappa zombie boss.

It’s apparent these two and Keppi’s three young helpers are working at cross purposes, but the cops’ specific motivations, beyond their commitment to “wring out the desire”, remain mysterious.

Not soon after their “performance”, thousands of cats start to float up into the sky, including Nyantaro, and Enta and Keppi (disguised as his date) meet up with Kazuki and Toi to discuss the situation. Enta warns Kazuki to stay away from the kid he’s currently holding hands with, but in order to get his little brother’s favorite cat back, he needs Toi’s help.

Events from there follow a pattern now familiar after the first go-around last week (in what I like to call the Ikuhara Formula): Keppi turns the three lads into kappa, they attack the zombie boss (this time a giant cat), and when they determine its secret (he kidnapped cats and shaved them to give himself a coat of fur so his girlfriend would take him back! Of COURSE!!), they  break through and extract its shirikodama.

Once that’s done, the guys go through the titular sarazanmai, during which it’s revealed that Nyantaro was owned by another family before Kazuki stole it so Haruka could have a cat (even if it was only a neighborhood cat). He defends what he did because he did it for his brother’s sake; his happiness trumping all other considerations.

With the second boss defeated, the lads receive another silver dish of hope, and Kazuki and Toi immediately argue over it, with Toi even brandishing his gun. Since both have brothers they want to make happy, and Keppi informs them they’ll need five to grant a real wish, Toi cedes the dish to Kazuki, but he’s getting the next one.

That night, Kazuki finally completes his mission to take a Sara selfie with a cat (specifically the rescued Nyantaro), to Haruka’s delight. Exhausted from the day of activity, he passes out right there in the park, where he’s approached by none other than Enta…who promptly kisses him! Looks like he’s got a secret too—one that re-contextualizes why he was so concerned with Kazuki hanging around Toi.

The two cops also now realize somebody is out there working against them. It’s likely only a matter of time before the two opposing groups clash. In the meantime, on with the hope-dish collecting!

After two episodes, I now have a better grasp of the beats and rhythms of a show that definitely dances to the beat of its own drum. With less head-scratching to do I could concentrate better on all the little details that contribute to making Sarazanmai such a fun and exciting little show that’s unafraid to challenge contemporary “norms”of gender and sexuality.

Sarazanmai – 01 (First Impressions) – Secrets, Lies, and Butt Stuff

“The world is full of connections,” muses Yakaza Kazuki at the start of things. Yeah, no duh, Kierkegaard. That’s especially true in Tokyo (Asakasa specifically), where many people are connected both by technology and the relatively small amount of space they share. There’s one connection in particular Kazuki never wants to lose.

Turns out that connection is a ritual exchange of selfies with the local idol, Sarakappa, who is constantly keeping the folk appraised of the latest Asakusa news via the public video screens. While Sara herself is taking a selfie, she happens to catch someone breaking into a car. That someone is Kuji Toi, who chases after her.

Instead, Toi encounters Kazuki, notices he has the same phone strap as the girl, and lunges at him with his ruler-cum-slimjim. Kazuki happens to be grabbing at statue of the Prince of the Kappa Kingdom, and in the ensuing violence, the statue is destroyed, releasing a great gust of wind.

The next day at school the two lads hear a clear ringing bell no one else can, and start compulsively acting like kappas, dousing themselves with water, doing a sumo dance, or eating cucumbers. Neither knows what the heck is going on.

The ringing leads them back to the destroyed statue (now a crime scene), where they are introduced to the actual Prince of the Kappas, Keppi, whom they awoke with their roughhousing. Keppi seems level-headed enough…until Toi dares to call him a “frog.”

Keppi reaches into their anuses (yep) and extracts their shirikodama, an organ containing desire, then gobbles them up and transforms them into kappas themselves. When Kazuki’s best mate Enta arrives to see what’s up, he ends up calling Keppi a frog, so he’s transformed as well. It’s a very gross process!

The gross weirdness continues when Keppi assigns them their mission: extract the shirikodama from a “zombie kappa” in the “Field of Desires,” a realm between life and death where no humans can see them, but where the kappa and zombie kappa dwell.

This particular zombie is hoarding stolen “Kappamazon” packages, and his deep dark secret is his compulsion to empty the boxes and place them on his head while naked. The three kappa-lads work together to sing a musical number, blast through the zombie’s defenses, reach and enter his anus, and successfully extract his shirikodama. Again, quite gross!

After the extraction, before they pass the shirikodama to Keppi, the three undergo the titular “Sarazanmai”—a connection of mind and soul between the three. Within that state, Toi learns that Kazuki and the girl he saw were one and the same, and Enta learns his best friend cross-dresses as an idol, all to send selfies of himself as Sara religiously.

The other two learn Toi is a car thief, but Toi isn’t outwardly ashamed by that, but after the initial embarrassment has passed, neither is Kazuki. Even when Enta tells him he’s cool with his “quirk”, Kazuki insists he isn’t asking for understanding, only for his secret to remain his and his alone…which is fair.

Post-ED (a lush merging of live-action footage, augmented reality lightwork and animation with a very catchy peggies song) there’s another strange incident involving two very pale, stylish cops extracting something from their prisoner, but that will have to wait until next week.

Sarazanmai is nothing if not visually bold and doggedly inventive with its madcap brew of mythology, symbology, philosophy, and sociology you tend to get from the work of Ikuhara Kunihiko. Its narrative isn’t always the easiest to follow but you can be assured it’s going to look and sound cool and explore ideas few anime do (especially when it comes to contemporary social issues), which definitely helps.

Non-fans of kappas (or, incidently, Ikuhara) probably need not apply, nor should anyone who is uncomfortable with the occasional…stylized anal extraction. But there’s a lot to like here so far.

3D Kanojo: Real Girl – 14 – Festival of Conviviality

Hikari and Itou are alone in the classroom painting and sewing late at night, and falling behind, but Ishino arrives with a squadron of classmates to help out. They thought she was a ghoul at first, so unaccustomed to being assisted in things that were foisted upon them. Things have certainly changed for the better with these two.

The day of the festival arrives, and Itou goes all out for the class, cross-dressing and wearing a wig. To the surprise of male and female classmates alike, he’s stunning, and even Ayado can’t help but take a break from her own busy day to check in on Itou, and is similarly enchanted.

When Ishino asks Itou why he’s working so hard, Itou tells her: because someone helped him get the lay of the land maid cafe-wise, and it would be an insult to her not to give it his all. Ayado happens to hear this from the other side of the wall, and she’s both glad her advice went to good use and flattered it was taken to heart with such conviction.

As the preliminary beauty contest vote comes in, Takanashi tries to joke around with Ishino about not having a chance…until she starts legit crying. Knowing he went way too far, he course corrects by giving her his honest opinion, with no joking around: she is pretty, and was cute in the maid outfit, and for what it’s worth, she has his vote. Frankly, his vote is probably all she wanted anyway!

Iroha’s main rival tries to rattle her, and when it’s time to give a little speech on stage, that rival’s voice is suddenly an octave higher and much more playful. While Iroha played around with the idea of winning this thing, her own attempts to sound stupid and cute ultimately fail when she gives up in the middle and instead tells the assembled student body that she’s plenty satisfied that the friends she has love her for reasons other than her looks, and she doesn’t really give a crap about anyone else, especially if they don’t know her.

Her no-BS honesty probably ended up helping her cause, as all it would’ve taken is a vote from her boyfriend to win. But because she told him she wasn’t really all that interested in winning, Hikari votes for the other girl instead. Iroha predictably takes her defeat in stride, and is consoled by hearing some (but not all) of the many reasons Hikari likes her besides her looks.

That night, as the festival winds down, Iroha’s class rep serves her some soup from their cafe, knowing she probably didn’t have an opportunity to try it, while she insists he use the opportunity at the bonfire to talk to the girl he likes.

Itou finds Ayado still hard at work cleaning up, and when he tries to lend a hand, that hand ends up touching Ayado’s hand, spooking her. She runs off to collect/admonish herself, even giving herself a slap and calling herself stupid. She feels she has no right to have any feelings for someone she turned down.

But Itou, worried about her, heard every word, and doesn’t care; if holding his hand helps her to see him as someone she could love, then he wants her to hold it as much as possible. Iroha and Hikari almost intrude upon this tender moment, but thankfully don’t. So maybe it’s not as hopeless for Itou as he thought last week!

Grand Blue – 04 – Trying Hard in a Bad Way

There’s no diving in the ocean this week, but Chisa, Iori and Kohei all “dive into” a new experience: being on stage, in front of hundreds if not thousands of spectators. But first, they help man the Okonomiyaki stall at the Izu Spring Festival.

While on a break, Iori fails to clear up Asuza’s misunderstanding about him being bi, but only when Asuza tells him how nice it is to have someone else to talk to about it. This is how you know beneath all the drunken boorishness Iori has a good heart: while the truth is always better, it also hurts, and he doesn’t want to hurt a friend if he doesn’t have to.

However, he does want to talk about it with Chisa, so on the next break the two are left alone, and I love how they work the griddle like a single highly-polished unit, dazzling the customers—but they don’t notice how skilled they’re being! Unfortunately, not much comes of the talk; Chisa assumes Iori is nervous because Asuza is so pretty, not because Asuza thinks he’s bi.

Asuza and her sister also insist she wear something more appropriate than her regular street clothes for the 4PM women’s pageant. Iori knows Chisa well, and so knows when Chisa is nervous. She stiffens up, and her aura and responses initially come off as cold and curt. They want to help her, but he and dating-sim expert Kohei only have bad ideas that make things worse.

When they try to make her smiling by smiling at her, but their grins come off as creepy and off-putting. Ditto posing shirtless as a club and raising a banner professing their love for her.

Finally they agree to throw a bunch of bouncy balls on the stage that will flip her skirt up and show her bashful side. They get it, but it’s bashfulness cut with seething rage. Iori knows he went too far, and only went as far as he did because he thought everyone would do it.

While Iori is hiding from Chisa’s wrath with Kohei, the latter is pounced upon by another woman who was part of the pageant; one with makeup so thick they use the nickname “cakey” on her. She asks Kohei out; Kohei hesitates and she storms off.

They go to the drinking party hosted by the rugby club. Chisa initially forgave Iori for the upskirt incident, but when he mentions how he’ll buy her sexier underwear, he’s back on her shitlist, and she intends to make him suffer with two liters of shochu.

While getting some air, Iori and Kohei again encounter Cakey, whose real name is Yoshiwara Aina. She’s deep into her own cups, and proves a very…emotive drunk. But she also provides the lads with a clearer picture of her deal; she was accepted into the tennis club of beautiful people, but basically only so they could laugh at her, and when they got bored, they told her she could leave.

Iori and Kohei decide to use the pageant as a means to not only raise Aina’s spirits, but to give the cocky blue-haired tennis captain a dose of his own medicine. And yet by getting swept up in this new mission, they forget about Chisa.

Kohei sets a trap by confessing to Asuza on stage; the captain does the same, only for the lads to reveal “Asuza” was really Iori in disguise. In other words, they balance the distribution of laughter, disproving her belief it was eternally directed at her.

All’s well that ends well, as Iori and Kohei may well have made a new friend who is grateful for what they did for her…but the partying that follows leaves the lads horrendous wrecks, unable to protect the winner of the women’s pageant—Chisa—from another round of advances from guys, which she hates more than anything.

Up to this point, I had felt like Chisa was too often being defined through Iori, as Iori’s love interest. But Asuza makes clear to the other guys why exactly Chisa is upset: Iori and Kohei worked hard, but for the other girl, not her. In a rare instance of seeking/expecting protection from them, they let her down.

And so just as the tennis captain got his comeuppance, so must Iori. Upon receiving her award for winning the pageant, Chisa delcares to all assembled that she’s off the market: Iori is her boyfriend. Iori can’t protest, because he’s passed out.

In effect, Chisa has made delicious lemonade with the lemons she was dealt: Iori will repel other guys for her. He’ll be her shield. Considering how popular the pageant made Chisa with the guys, it won’t be an easy job; Iori may well prefer the tranquility of the ocean floor!

Aho Girl – 08

Yoshiko continues to methodically tear down the Gals’ rep by digging into their love lives…or lack thereof. Turns out the only one with a “boyfriend” has neither kissed, held hands, or even told him she likes him. Yoshiko is ruthless in her mockery of the surprisingly pure gal, but does get her to express her feelings to the guy.

Yoshiko then inserts herself in the middle of the little kids’ field trip snack-shopping mission, where she dissuades them from buying chips or chocolate lest they get crushed or melt. She also points out the high-priced deluxe Pocky that must not be purchased no matter what…only for Nozomi to not only buy it (with all her money) but is nice enough to share with everyone.

Fuuki Iinchou has to be taken to the roof by Sayaka to try to get her to stop acting so crazy around A-kun, but Fuuki, blinded by love, has no idea how erratically or insanely she’s behaving. When Sayaka tells her the truth, Fuuki is so devastated Sayaka has to take it all back as joking around. This is beyond Sayaka’s ability to deal with alone, if at all.

Lastly, Yoshiko and Dog meet Sayaka’s dog, Pomi the Pomeranian. At first Yoshiko thinks she’s ludicrously tiny and weak, until it’s Dog cowering in fear behind her skirt. Yoshiko misreads their romantic interactions for aggression, but Dog is ultimately too embarrassed and runs off, with Yoshiko riding him, of course.

Aho Girl – 07

Yoshiko’s idiocy envelops her 28-year-old love-starved sensei, her huge white dog, and the class gal and her two vice-gals. First up, sensei, who Yoshiko cheers up by disguising herself as a dude named “Yoshio” and throwing out all the cliched lines in the book at her. “Yoshio” is rather scarily good at seducing a woman (at least one as desperate as sensei), but for obvious reasons their “romance” can only go so far.

Next up, Dog…and A-kun’s continued frustration he doesn’t have a proper name. Yoshiko is clearly fine with “Dog”, but A-kun thinks it should be “George”, so they both try—far too hard—to gain the dog’s favor, and he runs off in exasperation. Once both of them decide to put the naming conflict aside for the good of the dog, Yoshiko pushes a bit too far…and receives a devastating uppercut for her trouble.

Finally, the class Gals. They tried to avoid Yoshiko, but when they said they were going to “play around” she thought in the playground sense, first with tag and then hide-and-seek. The Gals trick her by making her hide and then ditching her, but she stays hidden for three days and nights without food, or water. They finally go looking for her out of guilt, and find her in a drainage channel, filthy and hungry but immediately up for another game. This girl is otherworldly.

I liked the three longer segments followed by a super-short fourth (in which A-kun insults his sister again by giving her a book on how to survive without a degree and saying “it’s okay to give up,” convinced she’s let too much of Yoshiko rub off on her. This arrangement allowed the Yoshio and Gal segments to run a little longer, to their benefit.

Hundred – 04

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I’ve taken over Hundred from Hannah, but she didn’t say anything about reviewing it seriously, so I won’t be, and if you actually take this show seriously, do not read this.

One thing I think we can ALL agree on is that Hundred’s first three episodes were seriously deficient when it came to the presence of girls in love with Hayato in one form or another. Seriously, where’s the love for this guy?

That starts to change in a hurry, as sparring with Erica und Fritz earns him the adoration of random extras, and famous idol Kirishima Sakura, who is all pink, natch, has seen YouTube videos of his battles and wants him to be her bodyguard.

With three Savage modules believed shot down but still unaccounted for, it’s the perfect time to put 100,000 warm bodies in mortal danger. The show must go on!

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Baaaaw loogit Big Bro Hayato being a Good Big Bro, securing a ticket to the concert for Karen! Sure, she’ll be one of the people in danger if things go wrong, but family should stick together, especially in potential battle zones. Besides, the fresh air might do her some good…or kill her.

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Aww, sorry Emilia. I guess Hayato can’t keep everyone happy all the time; inevitably making some girls who like him happy means making other girls who like him (or in this case, girls disguised as guys who like him) unhappyor at least disappointed. But hey, at least we know Emi didn’t surrender her key to Hayato’s room.

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Sakura’s very very pink, sure: Pink hair, pink eyes, pink flowers, pink cheeks…she’s pink, capiche? Other than that, she’s your typical dime-a-dozen anime idol, without any particularly exceptional qualities…except perhaps the brazen audacity of holding a concert in an unsafe place, putting her fans in danger. But hey, she’s taking their money and the fine print’s right there on the back of the ticket: Kirishima Sakura LLC is not responsible for death or dismemberment by Savage, etc. etc.

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She’s also a total tease and Hayato takes the bait, embarrassing her in the process when he takes her up on her worryingly detailed plan to marry him.

She also leaves her clothes and underwear carefully strewn around the bathroom when she calls him in to hand her her PDA, because this is 1993 and PDAs are a thing and you do NOT just leave them on the countertop and leave the bathroom, no sir, you have to hand the PDA to the naked girl in person while stepping over her bear pantsu which are an “exception” to her usual pantsu, which are vintage PDA-themed.

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Because this is Macross Hundred, Sakura’s fight is on the stage, and her “weapons” are her voice and a sleek flight suit that is extremely skintight and very similar to her skin tone, making it appear like she’s wearing barely anything at all when she’s actually covered neck to toe.

Sakura’s ability is called “Fairy Tale Fairy”, and I don’t know why Hayato doesn’t just say fuck it and storm off after being subjected to such a terrible ability name. Instead, he watches Sakura fly around for approximately seventy hours.

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His duties for the first day thus complete (who needs a bodyguard when they’re ASLEEP?), Hayato returns to his dorm and is elated to find it deserted, hoping to take a bath by himself.

Early on, Karen read Hayato’s fortune in the cards and warned him to be careful with women and water. I’ll just say for the record that he does not follow her advice.

But Emile/ia is in there and invites him to join her, so they get in some nice nakedtime that’s actually quite subdued until she pounces on him, they end up in an awkward position, and she runs away calling him a pervert. But the scar she got in a tragic PDA accident years ago is healing up nicely because he’s around, so it’s all good!

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Well, not ALL good. Three human-looking baddies whom I assume are Savage (or half-Savage variants) are staking out Sakura’s stage, assuring us they’re on humanity’s side, but not coming off as very convincing. I mean, for a start, where are their PDAs?

But hey, I’ll take Hayato & Co. fighting human-ish Savages than slow, lame monster-ish Savages any day. But why wasn’t THIS in Karen’s card-reading?

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Hundred – 03

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Don’t get me wrong; I knew I was playing with fire by sticking with a show that was clearly billed as not only action sci-fi, but ecchi harem – not to mention watching this after Kabaneri. So if I had a bad time watching this very overtly tone-setting episode of Hundred, it’s my own fault.

The thing is, while this was often goofy and rambling and cliched and patently ridiculous, and I probably don’t need to watch anymore, rather than punch my screen I embraced the silliness for an episode, and mostly just had fun, as Zane did when I handed Recon in G to him. Maybe he’ll take this off my hands too?

I guess I’ll summarize the plot, such as it is: When a bigger Savage than expected shows up, Claire says no way to letting Hayato and Emile tag along, but a midget and a computer immediately convince her to let them tag along. Sortieing involves jumping out of a plane and activating their Hundreds, which made me think: what if for some reason your Hundred doesn’t turn on? I guess you’re dead.

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That aside, Claire, Liddy and Erica have no trouble with one of the small fry, but the larger Trenta-class Savage is too much, and the three are all taken out. I guess it was a good thing they brought two inexperienced rookies with them, or they’d be dead, right?

Hayato plucks Claire out of the air, and he and Emile have at the Trenta, but while Emile is protecting his would-be dueling partner Liddy, the Savage cuts open the front of his shirt, exposing her boobs. When Hayato sees the scar between them, it all comes back to him: this was the silver-haired girl he tried to save back in that flashback. Obviously.

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To defeat the Savage, Hayato suddenly transforms into Overdrive mode, donning full-body armor and almost going too far. He is saved from that by Emilia, who snaps him out of his berserk trance the way you usually snap people out of berserk trances: by french-kissing them.

With that, Hayato refocuses and cleaves the Savage in two with his mighty giant sword of many shapes and sizes. Thank goodness a man was here to save all these defenseless women who were brought down and nearly taken out so easily by a robotic beast thing whose design is so forgettable, I’d have forgotten they’d fought anything if I didn’t have screencaps of it.

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With that, Claire does her tsundere act with the pointing out that Emile has boobs and kissed Hayato and such, and everyone flies back to the Little Garden, safe and sound.

While in the air, Hayato notices a throng of Zwei Islanders holding up a huge sign that reads Thanks a lot with no punctuation, which I actually couldn’t stop laughing at because it read as sarcastic to me. I mean, he did blow up a lot of property in the battle, not to mention the side of a mountain. Those forest fires aren’t going to put themselves out.

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But more than that, the battle itself was very random and all over the place, as the foe took out the supposed veterans far too easily to ever take them seriously again, then the foe turned into a pushover when Hayato stepped in.

But the show was clearly worried I would still take it seriously after that battle with boob grabs and kisses, so the final scene puts the final nails in its coffin. Hayato and Emilia, you see, are “variants”, which is to say they have the Savage “virus” in them, but because they’re special they didn’t die, and instead are really good at killing Savages. It’s a lot like the half-Kabane Kanaberi, Ikoma and Mumei. Only far far worse.

There’s also the matter of how this show will continue to integrate french kissing in its milieu: the exchange of “non-activated” virus DNA with berserk virus DNA—i.e. the exchange of bodily fluids like saliva—are how Emilia is able to keep Hayato from losing himself. Sure, why not?

Just to cap things off, Claire barges into their room to make sure “Emile” has moved out, to find the two making out. Naturally, Hayato trips and falls onto Claire, grabbing her boobs and locking lips. Sigh. And with that, the spell is broken.

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Hundred – 02

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Due to RABUJOI’s informal commitment to keep the number of shows we review at a reasonable dozen or less, Hundred seemed like a no-brainer for a drop after an underwhelming opener. I’m still won’t go so far as to call its follow up good, but it was an improvement, and Hundred has the good fortune to air on Monday, classically a slow day for anime. …So here we are.

A big reason this episode was better than the last is that it actually has a good fight in the beginning…and at least the start of a second fight at the end, followed by the promise of our protagonist and his definitely not-a-boy roommate being pressed into action due to their abilities and the scarcity of slayers.

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Back to that first fight: it’s not earth-shatteringly awesome or anything, but it gets the job done (an article of praise one could use very often in Hundred). There’s a boob grab early on, Queen Claire makes Hayato pay, and intends to finish the duel quickly, but can’t.

Hayato’s better than she thought he’d be; he’s better than he thought he’d be, going into a kind of trance where his eyes turn to slits, he dons full-body armor, and backs the Invincible Queen into a corner.

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To its credit, Hundred doesn’t put the haughty chick in her place; instead, the duel is a tie, and by her own acknowledgement (she broke the rules she set for herself in order to win). As such, she recinds the expulsion orders we knew would be rescinded, but she’s not foot-stampingly angry about it.

In fact, she, like the rest of Little Garden, is impressed by Hayato, and takes an interest in him, to the chagrin of Emile, who, let’s not beat around the bush, IS A GIRL IN BOYS CLOTHES. She decides to use the fact Hayato still thinks she’s a guy to go on a date with him in the town center.

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The episode lags a bit here, but it becomes clear that Hayato is aware on some level that Emile is a girl, or at least s cute ano girly a boy that he can’t help but blush and be self-conscious about their interactions. Not that Emile is going to pull anything, but one reason I want to stick with Hundred is I want to see how her gender is finally revealed (even if that reveal turns out to be underwhelming).

Hayato becomes flanked on both sides when Karen invites herself out, after her tarot cards indicated he was with a woman. Boy or girl, Karen doesn’t quite trust Emile yet, and why should she? Emile really is concealing something pretty dang important to her roommate and colleague.

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Hayato, Karen and Emile’s lunch is interrupted by Claire and her entourage, but not out of any kind of malice: Claire wants to make Hayato a slayer as soon as possible. Indeed, she kinda has to, as there’s currently a slayer shortage (a welcome reminder this peaceful city-ship is the exception, not the rule, in this world).

Hayato’s duel with Claire, and Emile’s surprising impromptu duel with Claire’s veep Liddy, somewhat mitigate the fact we haven’t seen anyone in grave danger in the first two episodes (at least in the present day). Emile shows she can hold her own against Liddy, but an alert sortie ends it without a decision.

Instead, Charlotte shows up out of nowhere and tells Hayato and Emile they’ll be going with Claire to Warslarn HQ, where his trial-by-fire will continue. Frankly, I’d be worried about his inability to control or even remember his overdrive powers, but hey…they need slayers.

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Hundred – 01 (First Impressions)

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Hundred is the first Spring offering that left me pretty…meh. It’s another one of those shows that has trouble hiding all of the ways it’s derivative, simply calling to mind all of the shows it reminds me of without having anything unique to say, at least not yet.

The world of Hundred is apparently a dangerous one, but the only peril we’re shown is a very brief flashback in the cold open giving us the tiniest taste of the destructive power and dread-evoking qualities of the CGI “Savage.” Thanks to that, and the rest of the episode being so peaceful, the danger feels far away and in the past.

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Aside from Generic, Mildly-Kind MC Kisaragi Hayato’s bird’s-eye-view of his new home, the floating academy Little Garden, we don’t get much of a sense of the great ship’s grandeur, though I understand the need for it to be mobile (that itself is at least a hint that this world is a perilous one).

Kisaragi arrives not as a less-than-zero loser, but someone with the record-highest “Hundred Compatibility Score,” and thus already a minor celebrity among his fellow students. Two would-be groupies greet him with a banner, and another girl, Erica Candle, is also enthusiastic about meeting him.

The most notable encounter is with Emile Crossfode, who is a very friendly, very girly silver-haired boy, but someone whom from first glance I never once believed to be a boy. Something to do with the fact Emile looks just like the girl Hayato was with in the flashback. Note that I don’t consider myself a genius for making this connection.

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During a thoroughly pointless and interminable opening ceremony, Class President and “Queen” Claire Harvey (who of course sports blonde ringlets) expels three people, including Emile, for seemingly petty infractions.

Claire may seem a bit unfair and strict here, but this is a military school, and her job is to toughen these greenhorns into Savage-killing Slayers. Being late, speaking out of turn, and talking back is not acceptable behavior in the military.

She also shows a little flexibility (even after Emile disses her scores, which are lower than Hayato’s, by promising to reverse the expulsions if Hayato can defeat her in a duel. It saves face for her, and gives Hayato a chance to prove whether the gaudy numbers on paper mean anything.

Emile takes Hayato to the lab, where the top Hundred researcher Charlotte (who is, of course, a pint-sized, lollipop-sucking prodigy) gives him his Hundred (which is, of course, a katana). He and Emile then do a little sparring, and for a fleeting moment we see how this show could redeem itself with a little combat action. Maybe.

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After training, Hayato heads to the hospital to visit his little sister Karen, whose care will be paid for in exchange for Hayato’s services. Karen both wants him to kiss her on the lips to greet her and calls him a pervert for staring at the nurse’s ample bust. She was notably absent in Hayato’s flashback, with Emile in Karen’s place and me thinking (s)he was his little sister. Clearly Hayato doesn’t remember Emile.

Hayato walks in on Emile changing, it’s a good opportunity for him to learn Emile is not, in fact, a boy, but only posing as one, but…he doesn’t. Instead, the surprised Emile knocks him out. When he wakes up, she sows his badge back on, but cuts herself, and Hayato has the sudden compulsion to suck on Emile’s finger. Very vampire-like behavior, but he waves it off as being abundantly caring.

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The next day is the big duel with Queen Harvey. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see it, because Hundred preferred to dilly-dally around with other matters. I understand why it wanted to introduce Charlotte and Karen and give Hayato and Emile some time together, but I felt it a little problematic that this first episode is all setup and no climax.

Hundred isn’t embarrassingly bad or anything, just a bit underwhelming, and lacking distinctiveness. It’s not nearly as bold as My Hero Academia, as dark and edgy as Muv-Luv, or as lovably goofy and bonkers as, say, Chrome Shelled Regios. Everything’s very tame and neutral. I’m not optimistic.

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