Fruits Basket – 14 – A Selfish Wish

On the one-year anniversary of her mother’s death, Tooru announces her plans to visit her grave, but pointedly doesn’t ask anyone to join her, in another demonstration of her fanatical desire never to trouble anyone. Still, Yuki asks if he can come, while Kyon is more tentative…for some reason.

Naturally, Arisa and Saki will also be attending, as Tooru’s friends and effectively, her surrogate parents. Saki notes how Tooru can be so cheerful after losing her dear mother just a year ago, and can only chalk it up to very, very hard work for which Tooru should be praised.

As if Tooru didn’t have enough on her plate, a seemingly innocent question about which one of Momiji’s parents is German turns into a whole thing. Momiji’s mother is German, and he looks just like her, but she doesn’t remember him. When she gave birth to him (two months early, as is typical of zodiac births), both her body and mind rejected him (which can also happen).

The only way to save Momiji’s mother from suicide was to wipe all her memories of Momiji, something his father told him had to happen, and that he’d love him enough for the both of them. Rather than forget himself what happened to his mom, Momiji long ago decided to carry every memory, no matter how heavy. He would have preferred if his mom had “stuck with it” and tried to accept him, just as it seems Tooru had wished to be there when her mom died—but they both consider those “selfish wishes.”

The day of the grave visit arrives, and Uo is resplendent in the “Crimson Butterfly” bike gang coat she inherited from Kyouko. Yuki also learns why Tooru was so upset about him catching cold: Tooru the tragedy magnet’s dad died of complications from a cold. And yet despite losing both parents, rather than radiate despair, she’s always smiling and exuding cheerfulness. He just doesn’t get it, but he’s glad to be close to such a person.

As for Kyon, he acts super-shifty and suspicious throughout the grave visit. When he stalks off, Saki follows him, and he asks her if she can talk to ghosts (she can’t). She proceeds to explain the difference between waves (to which she’s attuned) and spiritual energy (of which she has none), and she can sense from his waves of “chaos” that he feels some kind of regret in this place.

Uo and Saki are glad Tooru is doing so well with Yuki and Kyon, but the two lads’ minds remain “ruled by dark troubled thoughts” which will, for the interim, prevent either of them from romantic thoughts (which is fine with Saki as she’s not yet ready to give Tooru away as a bride).

Kyon’s actions later that day seem to bear that out. As the wind blows the hat either Yuki or Kyon gave to Tooru off its perch, Kyon leans in close to Tooru’s face, not to kiss her, but to tell her he’s “sorry”. About what? Did he, perchance, have a part in Kyouko’s death? Is that why he had waves of regret at the cemetery, and why he feels the need to apologize?

As many mysteries still swirl around Yuki and Kyon’s past, present, and future with Honda Tooru, the one constant is that she’s not going to let anything keep her spirits down. Not losing both parents, and probably not learning someone close might’ve had something to do with one of those losses.

Steins;Gate 0 – 08 – Only a Dream

I got your picture hangin’ on the wall
It can’t see or come to me when I call your name
I realize it’s just a picture in a frame

The much-awaited Steins;Gate sequel started out somewhat languid and listless, owing no doubt in part to the vast grey pall of grief that hung over Okabe living in the Beta World Line. Then we got a new twist on the first season’s ambush and all of a sudden it looked like the old show’s energy was starting to return. Like all good things, it just took time.

Then Steins;Gate 0 went and stuck an electrode in our hippocampus all over again this week, giving us a tantalizing look at the Alpha World Line in which Kurisu lived, only for Okabe’s joy at that being essentially canceled out by his grief over the loss of Mayuri, and his guilt over his role in that loss.

I read your letters when you’re not near
But they don’t move me
And they don’t groove me like when I hear
Your sweet voice whispering in my ear

More than that, though, it’s just so good to see and hear Makise Kurisu in non-AI facsimile form. Ironically along with Hanazawa Kana, Imai Asami is one of my very favorite voice talents, and lends a depth, warmth, and subtlety to her performance as Kurisu that simply makes her feel more human. Miyano Mamoru also does fine work beside her.

It doesn’t take long at all for someone of Kurisu’s towering intellect to deduce that the Okabe before her is not the Okabe of her World Line. Almost in anticipation of such an Okabe arriving and not knowing whether to go or stay, she reconstructed the Phone Microwave, adding (Revised) to its name to indicate she may well have improved upon the original.

I play the game, a fantasy
I pretend I’m not in reality
I need the shelter of your arms to comfort me

It isn’t that Kurisu doesn’t have conflicting feelings about urging Okabe to go back where he belongs; her cold-shouldering belies a genuine affection for the big lug, and every one of their interactions in this World Line is informed by the unspoken love they feel for each other. Amadeus, as Okabe says, truly has nothing on the real thing.

Yet Kurisu doesn’t let emotions deter her. In fact, she’s willing to use emotions to help Okabe see the light—literally, as it turns out—when they take a train to the cemetery where Mayuri is buried.

Kurisu tells Okabe how much time the Okabe of that Line spent there, as if waiting to be taken to heaven. Okabe raises his hand to the sky, much like Mayuri used to do, and Kurisu hopes it means Okabe will wake up from this “dream” and return to his reality.

I got some memories to look back on
And though they help me when you phone
I’m well aware nothing can take the place of your being there

Kurisu gets everything ready, including a D-mail Okabe is to send to herself saying “Don’t come in.” Okabe sees this as sentencing the woman he loves to death all over again, but she urges him to “Do it, even if you can’t…That’s what I want.” Whether she’s putting Mayuri’s life ahead of her own, or simply trying to restore balance to the universe, Kurisu will let Okabe go through with it.

Before he does, she sees the face he’s making, and gives him a parting kiss before hitting “send” herself. From there, we’re transported to the time Okabe “killed” her the first time, but from her POV; running through the streets, about to come in just in time to stop him when she’s delayed just a few seconds from that D-mail: “Don’t come in.” 

She ignores it and rushes in to confess her love…but it’s too late, and now we’re transported to another world line with a divergence number we haven’t seen before:  1.097302…oh-so-close to the 1.048596 of the Steins Gate. Where-or-whenever it ends up being, one thing’s for sure: that infectious Steins;Gate energy is back.

Itsudatte Bokura no Koi wa 10 cm Datta. – 03

Miou and Haruki had started to grow just a little bit closer to one another, but the sudden revelation that Haruki’s brother died saving Miou throws their intercept course, as it were, way off, until Miou is suddenly sprinting in the opposite direction.

Even when Saku tells Miou Chiaki was always frail but nevertheless risked himself to save others. Miou living a good life for his sake is “how it should be”, and Miou shouldn’t feel any shame for being the one who was saved.

But she does. She blames herself for Chiaki’s death, and doesn’t see how she can even face Haruki, let alone talk to him, let alone close that 10cm distance.

So Miou suddenly disappears from the center Haruki’s life. She doesn’t get near him or talk to him, and flakes out on the painting competition.

Haruki wonders if there’s anything he did or said to cause Miou to change like this; and he can’t come up with anything, which only increases his frustration. That frustration makes it difficult to focus on editing the film.

When he finally catches her on the rooftop at lunchtime, Miou attempts to retreat wordlessly. Haruki bars her way, and tells her she has to tell him what’s wrong or he won’t understand.

Since there’s no way Miou can tell Haruki what’s really wrong, all she says is that “she’s no good”, and he shouldn’t talk to her anymore.

Haruki’s friends are worried about Haruki, and can immediately tell he’s distracted from the quality of his work. Haruki is mad, because he’s helpless to discern what’s wrong with Miou. Without revealing him the secret he and Miou share about Chiaki, Saku only tells Haruki that Chiaki would have “done what he believed was right.”

All well and good…Haruki doesn’t know what to do! That night Haruki reminisces about how kind and loving his big bro was, and how strong and brave he was, never letting Haruki see him so much as frown, despite his body continuing to deteriorate.

Honestly, I feel for Miou. I don’t know how you’d comfortably broach the topic to Haruki of who saved her from drowning and what happened to that person. I guess you simply don’t do it comfortably. It’s not a pleasant thing to do, but it’s the truth, and I’m of the mind that truth has to come to light if there’s going to be any future for Miou and Haruki.

Both Miou’s secret, how she handled it, and the sudden notice that Haruki has won the chance to study in America, conspired to make this episode feeling very somber, even fatalistic. Here’s hoping next week will bring a ray of light to cut through the gloom, if only a bit.

Itsudatte Bokura no Koi wa 10 cm Datta. – 02

“Summer, Fireworks, Color of Love” is this week’s title, and it pretty succinctly sums up what we get. If you’ve heard of these themes in romance anime before well…you’re not alone! But what this show lacks in original themes, it makes up for in solid execution and attention to detail, and variety.

We get looks not just into the budding romance of Miou and Haruki, but see how close Yuu and Natsuki are without officially dating, as well as Souta’s attentions towards Akari. The plot of making one last film together, starring a character who is an art student in love, is pretty hoaky, but super-charming if you can switch off the cynicism.

In her desire for her art (and not Akari’s) to be chosen by Haruki, Miou puts undue pressure on painting the perfect canvas, and ends up unable to paint anything at all. Haruki seems to get a bit jealous when he overhears that Miou will soon meet the man who saved her from drowning.

But they largely set aside those issue when the six friends gather for a fireworks festival. Natsuki sets things up so Miou and Haruki are alone, while Souta’s in the right position to catch a stumbling Akari, breaking the ice. All three couples have great chemistry and it’s fun to watch them interact.

Everything seems to be ruined when Miou faints and she and Haruki end up with an obstructed view of the fireworks, but they find a platform to get a better view. Haruki tells Miou he’s looking forward to seeing what art she comes up with (adding to the already high pressure of that project).

When he awkwardly offers to grab something for them to eat, Miou bravely, finally closes the 10cm distance by grasping his shirt. The two come this close to kissing, but are lamely interrupted by a couple of yappy dogs. LAME, I say. At least they can laugh about it.

Then the next day the thing I knew was coming came: Miou learns the man who saved her life is dead. Not only that, he’s Haruki’s big brother, Chiaki. She goes home, and rather than paint what love looks like for Haruki, she defaces the painting of her memory of being saved, ashamed that he lost his life, and Haruki lost his brother, all for her sake.

Shoujo Shuumatsu Ryokou – 08

Girls’ Last Tour starts with a somber tone, as Chito and Yuuri roll into what looks like a network of enormous filing cabinets that I immediately identified as graves. If they don’t contain remains, they do contain remnants of the lives of those whose names adorn them: a radio; a bit of cloth; a shell casing; a button.

Yuu brings these along thinking they might be able to use them for something, but Chi reprobates her: if these objects are removed, they lose the meaning they already carry: to remind people—in this case, Chi and Yuu—that they existed.

The only other witness to the memories contained within those endless graves is one of the tall, sidelong glancing stone idols Yuu likes so much (and believes somewhat resemble Chi). She takes photos of both the idol and Chi, in order to preserve both for posterity. Indeed, Yuu wouldn’t have remembered Kanazawa if he hadn’t given him the camera.

In the next segment, it’s finally time to ascend to a higher level. Thankfully, no rickety elevator is needed; there’s a spiral ramp they can ride the Kettenkrad up. The only problem is, the spiraling gets so repetitive, Chi gets dizzy, and Yuu has to snap her out of her trance before she drives the ‘krad right off the ledge.

They can bypass the sudden gap in the ramp by driving out to a metal ramp, but it’s a lot more rickety than the concrete surface inside, and the weight of the vehicle causes it to fail. Yuu has Chi hit the accelerator, and after a particularly harrowing few yards, they’re back inside, and the ramp they were just on plummets to the ground.

There’s no doubt it was a risky move, but the reward is that they are now on a higher level, just as night falls and a full moon rises. Yuuri, perhaps somewhat bewitched by said moon, picks up the nearest metal stick and starts trashing what looks like an abandoned office. That is, until in her excitement she whacks Chi on the head with that stick, and Chi tackles and disarms her.

Then the girls find several sealed bottles containing some kind of liquid. Chu reads the label as “Beeu”…or beer.

Yuu pops open a bottle, pours the “golden water” into a clear glass, and holds it up to the moon, thinking the moonlight is melting into it. She and Chi both take generous gulps of the stuff, and find that it agrees with them.

Before long, the stoic, dour, practical Chito dissolves into a fun-loving lush much more similar to her companion Yuu. She affectionately embraces Yuu, stretches her face, dances with her in the moonlight, and eats her hair.

The next morning, after celebrating in style (and violating laws that no longer exist since there’s no one around to enforce them), they begin exploring the new level. Chito has a nasty hangover, but Yuu unsurprisingly seems to be no worse for wear.

Sora no Method – 07

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As Nonoka, Yuzuki and Koharu near the gravesite of Nonoka’s mother, the day turns cold, cloudy, and grey. I just so happened to myself watching it on a cold, cloudy grey day. While it was just a coincidence for me, for Nonoka the weather reflects her mood; she hasn’t visited her mother’s grave in some time, because she’s been afraid.

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And not because her mother was a mean-spirited, fearful woman — precisely the opposite: she was as kind and loving a soul as one could ever hope to meet, and a wonderful mother to boot. But then she got sick, and didn’t get better, and they moved to Tokyo where she could get care, but she died anyway, leaving a massive hole in Nonoka’s heart.

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Nonoka patched that hole, which was causing so much grief and pain, by essentially letting go of her life before her mother died, and moving forward as if none of it ever happened. In the process, she forgot about a great many other things, like her promise to her friends; something Shione still hasn’t forgiven her for, though Koharu and Yuzuki surely have, and now probably feel a bit silly for ever being angry at Nonoka for moving, something she had to do suddenly for her mother’s sake.

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In the B-plot, Noel, who can’t accompany Nonoka because the cemetery is out of saucer range, sticks with Souta, who is again stuck minding Koharu’s family’s store. Noel breaks the monster photo board thingy, and breaks it again while trying to fix it. After some little-kid negotiations, Souta convinces Noel to assist him in fixing the monster. As with Nonoka’s psyche, the repairs are quick and imperfect, but unlike Nonoka, it doesn’t matter; just as the monster was originally built by Souta, Koharu and Yuzuki as a labor of love, repairing it was a similarly rewarding experience between Souta and Noel, and when Yuzuki and Koharu see their handiwork, they approve.

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As for Shione, she’s in an unenviable situation where she’s held Nonoka to task for so long over lying and breaking her promises that now, even if Nonoka or the others were to explain the very understandable circumstances surrounding what Nonoka did, Shione still seems too proud — or too scared, or both — to lose face by softening her stance or letting Nonoka back into her life. After all, intentional or not Nonoka hurt her deeply.

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It was Nonoka’s mother who allowed Nonoka to become friends with Shione in the first place, by reminding her to smile when meeting new people, especially shy ones like Shione. And yes, it was Nonoka’s mother who indirectly drove the two apart by being the reason Nonoka had to move away and abandon Shione. But when a snowflake melts in Shione’s hand at the cemetery, and when she arrives at places just before or just after Nonoka was there — they’re signs that Shione is ever-so-gradually warming to the idea of reconciliation. She just won’t be rushed.

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Akuma no Riddle – 11

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With all of the assassins defeated save Nio, the rhythm of the show changes this week. Instead of trying to figure out who’s going to target Haru and when, she and Tokaku are rewarded for their victory with a “true orientation” that reveals big, hard truths, most of which had been hinted at, but now brought into the light.

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Now theres no more doubt: Class Black wasn’t assembled to assassinate Haru, but to test her readiness to take the reins as the “Queen Bee” of the ultra-powerful clan that “controls every aspect of the world.” That last bit sounds kind of silly, but that doesn’t change the fact that it was a good test, and she passed it.

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Unfortunately, the power and potential she exhibited in the process aren’t going to entitle her to the normal life she wants so badly (and apparently had earlier in life), but condemn her to serve. A Queen Bee isn’t designed to live for herself, but to ensure the survival of the hive, even at the cost of her life. Nio drives the point home by taking Haru to a massive clan graveyard deep below the school, full of people who died for the clan’s survival.

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Nio continues to glare and bare her teeth from time to time, but her true motives are still a mystery. Could it be she too is a potential queen, who will kill Haru and ascend if Haru refuses to accept her fate? A few moments of apparent sincerity aren’t enough to make me forget about all the two-faces we’ve already encountered and trust her. She’s still dangerous. Otherwise, why would she have those awesome tattoos?

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Tokaku doesn’t take these new revelations well. She’s been lost all this time trying to figure out the toughest riddle of all; why she wanted to protect someone she was told to kill. She has no way of knowing whether her relationship with Haru was nought but an artifice built by Haru’s innate charisma. Whether she used it to manipulate Tokaku consciously or not is beside the point; it’s possible; likely even.

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It’s with that in mind, and with a great appreciation for the things Haru made her feel and think about for the first time, that she decides to turn on Haru after all. Kaiba tells her the riddles he’s sent have no right answers. Really, they were meant to spark independent thought. After a life of completing tasks and following orders to the letter, Tokaku’s time with Haru and the other assassins has taught her a great deal.

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This wasn’t just Haru’s initiation, then, but Tokaku’s as well. Haru’s purpose was already determined from the start, and Class Black was just a means of validating it. But for Tokaku, Class Black helped her define herself and her purpose. Haru never really needed Tokaku’s protection, but becoming allies facilitated Tokaku’s advancement to where she is now: in the ideal position to eliminate the target.

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