Gundam: G no Reconguista – 19

After watching this week’s installment of Gundam, Zane came into the office with his hands in the air, as if to surrender. “There’s not even anything of note to make fun of here. At this point it’s just kind of sad,” he said, telling me if he wanted a review I’d have to do it myself.

So here I am, reluctantly closing the RABUJOI book on Gundam: G no Reconguista after nineteen straight episodes of lovely visuals, some clever sci-fi procedural action, and slice-of-life unfortunately combined with impenetrable storytelling and an abject lack of emotional connection on all fronts.

There’s a clear retro flavor to the way everyone talks and relates to each other, and I’m sure there’s an audience that enjoys that kind of thing, but to me, it just feels like a lot of the material was written for a bad radio serial fifty years ago, and is now being re-used with updated animation, and it’s just never felt right.

The show shows us all these lives, but never lets us into their heads, and even when they speak their thoughts out loud, the words feel hollow and inconsequential. The music attempts to create lightheartedness or drama that simply hasn’t been earned by the story, or even attempted to be earned.

Gundam G-Recon often feels like an animated documentary, which has cameras and mics in everyone’s faces, but nobody explaining what’s going on or why. We are neutral observers, and the stuff being observed is utterly incapable of truly moving us. It’s content to march along to the beat of its own drummer, and you either get in step or walk away.

That’s mostly because events and introductions often feel random and tacked on for no other reason to make the story and the character dynamics more complex, but no amount of complexity—or kooky group of mercenaries from the Venus Globe—can fix the show’s underlying flaws.

This is not a terrible show. It’s clearly created by people in love with this universe; its large-scale issues and smaller minutiae alike. It also makes some salient points about space travel, battle, maintenance, and national pride. Its visuals and character and mechanical design are top-notch; and its soundtrack is usually stellar.

But all those factors merely contribute to my respect for this work. They have yet to garner my love, and without love or any other kind of strong emotional investment (beyond that with the franchise itself based on previous, better works), the cons overshadow the pros. And if I don’t love it after nineteen episodes, I shouldn’t be reviewing it. It’s not RABUJOI way, nor is it fair to you the readers.

Farewell Gundam, until the next series.

Gundam: G no Reconguista – 18

This week: A bunch of people tell other people to look at the massive and magnificent Kashiba Mikoshi, which delivers Photon Batteries to Sankt Porto for Earth Distribution, or something. Did I mention it’s massive? Seriously, it’s mentioned enough without it actually DOING anything that it would make for a decent drinking game.

Yeah, GAVAN! Still, that is one tough phone. Is that the new SU-Cordist Galaxy 7? It’s supposed to be able to withstand a sustained Mack Knife beam attack!

The Kashiba Mikoshi was apparently a collaborative effort between H.R. Giger and Frank Gehry. AIDA IS NOT IMPRESSED. Her critique is actually pretty cogent, unlike so much about this show.

OMG IT’S A COGENCY SPREE!!!

Gaaaah…DON’T ALL TALK AT ONCE.

O Hai Manny! Manny’s aboard, with Noredo.Manny is towing Mask’s line about the Towasangans letting everyone go home safely if they just hand over the G-Self. That ain’t happening, since it belongs to the Rayhunton siblings, Bellri and Aida.

…CAT FIGHT!

Noredo and Manny may be high schoolers whose men are on opposite sides of…whatever this conflict is supposed to be, but it’s the older Mick Jack and BARARA who are acting like idiots.

Bell and Rara block Steer’s view of space with a dummy meteor, so an iPad with a external camera feed is set up so she can see where she’s going. But the dummy is also blocking weapons fire so I guess it’s okay. Still, not ideal piloting conditions.

I love how it’s kind of common knowledge in the Towasangan military that Rockpie has only risen as high as he has because he’s doinking Mashner. SU-NEPOTISM.

Bellri Zenam: He’s not a genius and he isn’t tough…but he is a raging xenophobe.

AWWWW, the Megafauna looks adorable nestled within the bosom of the Crescent Ship. Like a baby orca!

“The Grid. A digital frontier…”

That doesn’t mean it’s not a joke. Bellri Zenam: Still not a genius.

Still, he and Aida have a nice brother-sister moment here, in this strange engine room of a ship built by their forebears.

Bell also managed to get the Crescent Ship’s engines working normally…by dipping his medallion like an ATM card. And the Crescent Ship is probably the coolest-looking ship in the show thus far..nice shade of green, too. Here at RABUJOI, we call that shade “Fine Green.”

Gundam: G no Reconguista – 17

Don’t you hate it when you’re just trying to get some decent shuteye after a busy day of killing people, and the ladies run the damn vaccum?

Well, this is kind of like that, only the ladies are piloting mobile suits to try to collect as much soil and debris is possible from one of Cyarno-5’s ruptured agricultural modules. And Rara at least has Ringo to boss around.

“Um…no…but if you guys want privacy, maybe you should talk in some kind of, I don’t know…isolated space conference room?”

Manny: “Sooooo…why does Captain Mask always yell your name like that?”
BARARAAA: “Hrm……Tourette’s?”

…Meaning there’s still room in his life for someone he can use…like a woman?

Seriously, Manny, quit dicking around and just walk up to him, take the damn Mask off, and ask him what the fuck his problem is.

As everyone starts sending out mobile suits—Capital Army, Amenia, Dorrette—people start getting into a very tiresome hissyhit about who engineered and manufactured which particular mobile suite when. Lots of pride on the line, but not a lot of debris being cleaned up!

Ah, the sacred ship that delivers photon batteries to Cyrano-5 to be sent to earth, making electricity possible—as seen through Noredo’s slingshot.

On the Megafauna bridge, everyone seems to have a say in what their next move should be. Bell suggests that some parties may be trying to use this debris to-do as cover for an attack, and everyone heads to their mobile suits.

Rara yields G-Self to Bell and pilots a 1,000-year old Neodu, but accidentally flips the Nitrous lever. Her ship goes berserk, bumps into the experimental suit Bifram BARARAAAA is test-piloting…

And Bifram goes all General Grievous on Rara.

Geez…you’re asking me? I gave up trying to answer that question last season.

Noredo, meanwhile, feels the “empty nest” around her now that Rara has her facilities back. The other ship’s crew members give her stuff to do, but there’s still a bit of a “What is she doing here” kind of vibe to her presence on the ship now. Other than babysit Rara, she’s really just been there to provide company for Bell.

Of all the things a lack of electricity means, you choose that? You can heat the water with a wood or charcoal fire, for crying out loud!

Still, all the warring sides eventually put down their arms and pick up nets for a collaborative debris clean-up. Peace through space chores.

Keep saying stuff like that, highness, and it will certainly become true. If it isn’t already. In any case, you’re one cloudy mess of a character!

How I wish this Gundam series called itself a specialist.

Gundam: G no Reconguista – 16

Look at all that WEED.

“Heh-heh…I am so stoned right now!”

“WAAAAAH…I miss my boyfriend!”

(It’s never explained why Rara feels the need to laugh, then cry, in such an unnatural way. Though maybe I missed something.)

OH SNAP! Aida and Bellri are brother and sister? Well, no wonder their romance was going nowhere! Oh wait, that was because nothing was written for their romance.

This seems to piss Bell off, though I can’t imagine why, since he’s never mentioned anything about having feelings for Aida. Everything has been only vaguely implied, which is actually how all romantic relationships on Gundam G are like.

Aida practices her TechCrunch Disrupt talk.

“Oh, BARARAAAAAAA, I love it when you talk dirty.”

Take these two. We’re just supposed to take it on faith these two are an item, just because they nuzzle up sometimes?

I still don’t see what Manny sees in him. Certainly not his eyes. Those are hidden by his mask.

Here are two more touchy-feely-kissy vaguely-implied couples. The writers just couldn’t bother to come up with a reason for them to be together, except the fact they work together, I guess.

This is actually a pretty cool shot…reminds me a little of 2001, never a bad thing.

OH NO, NOT PONDS. If only it was lagoons…

You and me both, BZ.

Those two words kinda mean the same thing.

Another nice shot: this one with three different levels of scale in one shot: the mobile suits, the Garanden, and Cyrano-5, which we learned is named that because the meteor it’s built on resembles de Bergerac’s famous nose. Somebody read a book!…Or at least watched Wishbone.

More touchy-feeliness! Although in this case, Rara isn’t interested in being touched.

Already playing the Sister Card, eh? Wait, there’s no such thing as a Sister Card! I’d know; I have a sister. So what the heck is he talking about? How does having or not having a sister have any bearing on whether Bellri kills his attackers next time?

Captain Gavan has the Titular Line! 

No, but neither were any of the others.

GOODNIGHT!

Gundam: G no Reconguista – 15

I LOL’d. Most undignified space shower ever!

Hannah has seen fit to relinquish Gundam G to me alone (THE POWAH…) just when things seem to be picking up.

And by picking up I mean RARA’S A REAL PERSON NOW. Rara has been such a wasted comic relief mascot up to this point (and Noredo has been resigned to babysitter), it’s fantastic finally listening to her using proper grammar prattling on about proper noun-heavy random stuff just like everyone else.

Is that so? I’ll bet that mythical creature had a better haircut. If Towasanga has cheerleaders, I bet they accidentally grab his head all the time.

SUUUURRRGGE!

No, YOU don’t surge, Aida…you hang back and keep an eye on the Megafauna. Oh, and hey, make the boys some sandwiches while you’re at it! Seriously, all Aida ever does is hang back. I know she’s not a very good mobile suit pilot, but that begs the question, why is she piloting a mobile suit? Put Rara in one.

Happa equips the G-Self with the Assault Pack, which is designed to UNLEASH HELL and make Bell a much bigger target. Happa quips that even an idiot can use it. Well, that’s not really a quip. Bell is an idiot, he’s just an idiot whose biology happens to work really well with mobile suits. A kind of “flesh battery”, if you will; a necessary evil…though I bet Happa wishes he could just control G-Self by remote.

OMG YES. Not ‘Yes you can keep playing around’, but ‘Yes, Rara is piloting the captured mobile suit. Lest we forget, she was G-Self’s original pilot, and was capable enough that they sent her on a very important forward mission in it. She’s got skills (unlike Aida); she’s just probably rusty.

Aw screw it…FIRE EVERYTHING!!!

Bell is in full Destruction Mode, with a slight adjustment: he’s constantly asking his targets not to die once he fires at them. Mind you, they can’t hear him. He’s just saying this so he can sleep at night.

Then again, long-range targets he can’t see or hear and tries not to blow up entirely means no faces of those he’s killed when he closes his eyes! Oh, and the Alincato? Another piece of tech introduced just this week that turned out to be a dud against the G-Self. Even the suit models chosen over the experimental G-Self (which Rara says was really called the “YT-111”) have trouble with Bell. He’s a machine.

Rusty Rara takes it slow, since she’s still technically in developmental rehab, and aids the Megafauna’s defense. Still, even a little action is good to see, and I hope we see more of it.

The heck is that thing? Looks like a giant finger bone wrapped with lots of gold watches. And it’s gi-normous. The moon was apparently blocking it all this time, but I’m surprised it doesn’t exert tidal forces of its own.

Nah, it’s probably fine.

See? It was only a trap for those who entered through Port I, Klim and Mick!

The Megafauna enters through Port IV, and end up in Rara’s neighborhood, which is home to some kind of Towasanga resistance. I’m sure we’ll be pummeled with more info on that next week.

Gundam: G no Reconguista – 14

Would Gundam take the Christmas week off? Not a chance! Besides, in the SU-Cordist calendar, Christmas is called Schmistmas and it takes place on Flancember the 46th!

Still, I found it highly amusing that while showing off their new threads Noredo mentions how there are ‘no decent stores’ because this is…ahem…‘holy ground’…

…And the camera cuts to Aida’s new cocktail dress. First of all, Noredo was lying about there being no decent stores (unless Aida made that red number). Second: how is this appropriate dress on so-called holy ground? Maybe Holy Ground is the name of Sankt Porto’s hottest nightclub?

Ya hear that, Bell? You gotta do better than “You look nice” when a woman goes to the trouble of contorting herself into a garment of that caliber.

The juxtaposition of Noredo’s holy ground line with the dress makes me wonder if each character’s dialogue is written by a different writer, not knowing what lines the others are writing. If this is the case it’s a novel process, if a bit of a crapshoot.

I guess even Aida thought her dress was a bit risque for the diplomatic talks, so the next time we see her she’s dressed normally, even though Rara and Noredo are still rocking their new threads (or did the animator forget what Aida was supposed to be wearing?)

Never mind, though…the sight of the delegation from the Moon not only sparks Rara’s memories, but she starts talking in full sentences with proper syntax! This is an awesome development, because the non-talking Rara has become more of a shrug-inducing afterthought than Bellri’s compliments.

I liked how the quartet left in the middle of the meeting, because it was so damn boring. They even bump into Manny, if only for a moment, in which she tells them she’s a soldier now and she has to go! Hey, you went up to them!

Manny just wants to be close to Mask at all times, perhaps sensing he’s really her boyfriend Luin, or maybe just has a thing for masks. In any case, she gets a tender moment with him (about as tender as you can get when separated by glass), but then BARARAAA calls him over and the two have a little twirl and Manny is JELLY.

Yes, only then will you get to spend even more time with that ineffectual blowhard, whom you’ll have to take orders from even though you’d probably by a better pilot. Aim higher, Manny!

Manny has a point though…whether it’s Mask and BARARAAAA, Bell and Aida, or Klim and Mick here, all the couples seem to be mobile suit partners.

Mick has even started emulating Klim’s in-cockpit monologue style…

…though she’s a few decades too early to think about taking his throne in that arena.

Meanwhile, back in his G-Self, Bell is all about the murderin’ this week. He even counts off his kills: “One horrific death, ah-ah-ah! Two horrific deaths, ah-ah-ah!” It’s all good; he can’t see the pilots inside. No nightmares for him!

Although interestingly, one of the Towasanga pilots puts up his hands and drops his weapon, and Bell somehow manages to stop his killing blow in time to save him. That was close, as the pilot was out of his cockpit, and while Bell has no problem killing people, the sight of blood makes him woozy!

Can’t argue with that! But what’s with the slingshot? What is she, Denise the Menace?

Not sure what Bell was grabbing for there, but it’s seriously great news that as they approach her home on the moon, Rara is finally talking and identifying the others by name. It’s almost like she’s going to start being a character…instead of a vapid mascot!

Oh great…another ambiguous romance. And does the blondie let his five-year-old niece cut his hair, or what? No matter. This was not a bad episode, and we have the whole moon to look forward to next time.

It even ended with one of the more pointed, true-to-character, Gundam-y exchanges between Aida, Bellri and Noredo, which I’ll leave you with.

Well said, all of you! All that was missing was a hearty “Chuchumy!” from Rara, for old time’s sake.

Gundam: G no Reconguista – 13

She does? Well that’s good. What’s also good: I think I kinda understand the situation too! Representatives of Capital Tower and Ameria find themselves at Sankt Porto, faced with a common enemy from the Moon. The two entities that have been warring all this time are better off forming a united front against this enemy.

To that end, the grown-up have to talk it out and discuss the wherefores and particulars and whatnot…

Hey Bell, this is boring, right? How ’bout we head back out into space and kick some mobile ass!

RED RUM. RED RUM.

Rara may understand the situation, but it’s still tricky to understand her, or her sudden and cryptic reactions to things. And her vocabulary remains shockingly limited.

Well, yeah. What are you fogeys going to do…talk the enemy to death? Actually, that might work.

I like how Kerbes Yoh is the voice of reason in wondering why Bell is going into battle with two civilians stuffed into his cockpit. For their part, Neither Noredo nor Rara want to leave, and Bell is so used to being surrounded by girls in his cockpit that it would have never occured to him to drop them off somewhere safe.

A tender moment between Mask and BARARA. Of course, he’s telling her they’ll only go so far in their cooperation with the Amerians. If the opportunity arises to get the upper hand on them, they’ll take it. Bara likes how he’s thinking.

Bell and Aida board the Garanden under a flag of truce, and they’re surprised to find their old friend Manny there, she having followed Luin but lost track of him, probably because now he wears a mask, making all his other distinguishing features invisible to the eye (apparently).

It’s actually a pretty cool sight to see the Capital Mack Knifes in a joint formation with the G-Self and other various suits, then meeting up with Klim and his sidekick. As the moon fleet sends negotiators to Sankt, Klim decides to use a false white flag to get closer to them.

It doesn’t work at all, and I’m glad it doesn’t, because it means these Moonies are your typical idiotic tacticians. They launch a torrent of missles at the joint formation, but all are deflected or destroyed, and everyone retreats back to the port. The Moonies cease fire, not wanting to hit the port.

This leads to maybe one of the best moments in the show, when everyone who had been battling each other all this time, for various purposes (or due to outright misunderstandings) all end up in the same elevator together. The line above really says it all.

Alright…WHO FARTED? I’m lookin’ at you, Maskie.

From the elevator, everyone eventually files into a large audience chamber where Aida’s Dad, Bell’s Mom, and His Holiness are already talking things over with the Moonies, and again you get the feeling the youths would rather be somewhere else shooting or punching something. In fact, a fistfight does almost break out between Klim and one of the Moon pilots, but Bell comes between them.

Oh, Klim also is the first to say “reconguista” in the show, because of course he is.

Ultimately, Aida isn’t going to take the Moonies by their many many boring words. She wants to spring back into action, which means heading to the moon herself and seeing what she sees with eyes unclouded by the motives of other parties. So that’s where she and Bell and likely the rest of the gang are headed next week.

Entering it’s second half, Recon in G is finally starting to make some doggone sense! But the plot still didn’t interest me so much as all the lovely reluctant alliances and strange bedfellows created this week.

Gundam: G no Reconguista – 12

Raraiya Monday is upset about the G-Self being saddled with an Assault Pack, ostensibly because she doesn’t want the G used for battle…which begs the question, what should it be used for? Was was she up to in it? When will she remember? Maybe sooner than I think; maybe not.

In any case, hitting her with a slingshot-propelled sneeze bomb? I like how Noredo thinks! If only her character had a purpose beyond tagging along beside Bellri and Rara-sitting.

Meanwhile, Klim, who everyone calls “Genius Klim” this week despite the fact he is not a genius (maybe it’s an inside joke?), has an audacious plan to occupy the Sankt Porto, the highest nut of Capital Tower, holiest site of CU Cordism, and the distribution center for all photon batteries. His reason is, for once, pretty simple: he, and by extension America, wants a piece of the action.

No you won’t. They’re way, way ahead of you, strategically speaking. You’re just going to fight another pointless battle and retreat, like you always do, because you’re a dreadful disappointment of a nemesis, yes you are!

Klim is talking rather insensitively about Aida here, and while I can’t say he’s wrong, he could say the same of Mask. Klim himself is not particularly capable either, but at least he’s good and loud and cocky!

Ummm…not so sure about that, Bunny Lady: there is this thing called anti-aircraft warfare. I’m sure there is a SPACE version of it.

But you have let them, and continue to let them! And why are you spinning around like that? Are you remotely serious about anything? 

Okay. Now this was kind of out of left field. Sankt Porto is, I suppose, a holy religious site that many on Earth believe will curse you if you try to enter. But Bellri’s outrage seems so out of left field. I mean, didn’t he know there was going to be a battle around the very place where they were headed? There’s always a battle!

Even more confusing is AIda’s reaction to Bell’s reaction. She acts as if she forgot he was super-sensitive about fighting near Sankt Porto. But she didn’t forget, because that was never a thing. Bell is just making up character traits as he goes along! And what’s with the persistent lack of romantic development?

I like this guy. I’ll bet he has to refocus the captain’s attention all the time like this. The captain’s probably writing an anime blog or something. These guys are such amateurs!

Huh…who know Bellri was into mobile bondage?

Wait…does she know where she’s going?

A WARNING.

Oh wow look: another force of nincompoops! At least their fleet and gridlike moon development looks pretty cool. Here is the long-sought ‘threat from space’, which is really a threat from the moon. Maybe this is where Raraiya is from? Could they give her a pill or something so that she can be a cohesive person? Please?

WHOA. (Kerbes) Yoh. Sloh your rolhl, Broh. That ain’t cool.

I’m probably being overoptimistic; these are the bad guys, and it’s likely both Ameria and Capital will team up to fight them. And by ‘fight’ I mean more engage-and-retreats of dubious effect using newly-developed, oddly-named mobile suits and accessories that come out of nowhere. Looking forward to it!

Gundam: G no Reconguista – 11

I held out hope that space would be a kind of clarifying salve for Recon in G; a fitting venue to restore some measure of structure and cohesion to the story after going astray or running into dead ends down on the surface. Something that would encourage me to do more than simply snark-watch.

But that was only false hope, a fool’s hope; for all who watch this show are fools. But like Mask, I shall embrace my failures and continue to be handsomely rewarded for them!

This week, the G-Self applies SPACE LOTION to Megafauna. But because its pilot Bellri was Bred For Combat and not piddling manual labor, he struggles with even this relatively simple procedure and must be watched like a hawk lest he smash a hole in the ship.

None of this has anything to do with anything, Bell’s Mom. This is the credo of Recon in G.

Poor Deck Scruber Fifth Class Manny Ambassada. It’s clear from Mask/Luin’s interactions with Barara the Eureka Seven Reject that the two are sleeping together. Just look at that foot caress. I’ll bet she gives great mask.

Aida’s Dad (Is it Aida’s Dad? I can’t keep track of all the olds) makes one hell of an entrance, crashing a ship-launching ceremony, and proceeds to have a very public argument about how to proceed with the man at the lectern, whose name is President Zucchini and is apparently Klim’s Dad. The crap these two spew wouldn’t be out of place in that horrible senate babble scene in Star Wars Episode I.

Either this is an air show, or a very expensive music video is about to start. But no matter what anyone says, I think eleven members is just too many for a rock band!

Pray, would that be experience as a BODACIOUS Space Pirate, or just a Regular one? Ya know what, forget it. Just stay in the ship and don’t do anything, Princess.

That line was old in the sixties, man. Get new material.

DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM! Whoever you are.

Bellri is face-to-face with his nemesis for the first time, and this is his first observation. Never change, Bellri.

NOW you’ve done it; he’s never going to shut up! He’s quite proud of that mask. If only it actually helped him win a battle, which he still has yet to do. Probably should have stayed in his cockpit. Why exactly was EVA necessary here? Seemed like a ridiculously unwarranted risk.

I’m not the biggest fan of Mask’s weird Mack Knife mobile suit with its splaying legs. After getting kicked in the balls by G-Self, I’ll bet Mask isn’t either! How many times now has this state-of-the-art suit gotten its ass handed to it. Now it’ll have to sing “Mack the Knife” in soprano.

I know that’s the name of his fairy-like comrade, but from the way Mask belts it out it seems like BARARA! is also a curse word.

LOL YOU’RE JUST REALIZING THIS NOW? Go home you’re drunk Rara.

Gundam: G no Reconguista – 10

Turns out Lt. Yoh is on Bell and Aida’s side, and he’s not arresting them, he’s getting them out of the Capital in a hurry, so the Megafauna can escape into space. The Capital Army wants the Megafauna, G-Self, and Raraiya Monday to themselves. So off they go on those extremely uncomfortable-looking F-Rugs!

Meanwhile, some Tintin-villain-looking politcian dude is unveiling yet another new mobile suit; in the middle of a party night, no less! From what I’ve seen of Gundam, it has a strange habit of unveiling new equipment and weapons on both sides out of thin air, and at an impossibly quick pace. Why is it we’ve never heard so much as a whisper about Wuxias before? Or the G-Self’s new flight pack? Or Mask’s Elf Bull earlier?

She’s a princess, dude…she has to do that. And what’s with the actresses’ girlfriends being all up in the shot there on the right? GET THEM OUT OF THE SHOT!

In any case, the Caps have new suits and Bell has a new pack and they’ve got to skedaddle. Bell’s Mom and Aida’s Dad remain with the SU-Cordism Pope, with Director Zenam arranging for Surgan to return safely to Ameria. The Capital Army is at odds with the Guard, with the latter willing to help the ‘pirates’ out.

…Yes, as opposed to the World of Women, where you have three choices for employment: housewife, secretary, or cheerleader. This is The Future, after all: naturally gender roles will devolve to the 1950s, because that makes perfect sense!

Get some guys to yell and hold up their guns, and the ladies can’t help but break out the pom-poms, followed by white wine spritzers and a Tupperware party! Seriously…why are there no female Wuxia pilots? Or female Capital Guard cadets?

Oh KNOCK IT OFF already! Yes, Aida is an important person who ideally shouldn’t be on the front lines where she could get killed, and she’s shown she’s not the best in aerial combat, but she’s not some delicate flower to be coddled. I wish the show would stop undermining her agency.

In this case, Aida buys crucial time for the Megafauna by launching of her own volition, because Bell is delayed by G-Self’s new mods. What she did was stupid and reckless, but it was also necessary, and it would have been just as stupid and reckless if Bell had done what she did.

So, so that IS what this is about!

Speaking of reckless, Bell is sent out with the torque pack, which packs a punch (blowing past a sloth was a neat little moment) and proves loud, bright, and hard to control. But in a nifty bit of improv tactics, he removes the pack and uses it as a big loud decoy for the Wuxia holding Aida hostage, allowing him to sneak up from behind and lay a beatdown on him.

So Bellri ends up rescuing Aida once again, but at least it could be considered paying her back for sortieing and buying time for him to launch, not to mention stopping the Wuxias from blowing up the ‘Fauna’s bridge!

While Bell talks of love with regard to Aida and he takes another admiring look at her when the battle is over, it’s still unclear what makes these two a couple, besides their physical attractiveness and propensity to have each others’ backs. Maybe that’s enough, but it’s not that compelling.

What’s more interesting than that slow-burn romance is the fact that the ‘Fauna is finally in SPACE. Surely we’ll learn more about the ominous ‘threat’ that lurks up there. The Capital Army and Mask are in pursuit, and I’m sure a lot more all new and improved technology will be hastily rolled out before all’s said and done.

Gundam: G no Reconguista – 09

Hmm…the Megafauna doesn’t look half-bad from that angle. Not a bad-looking dock carved into the mountain, either.

For reasons that will become clearer later today, Hannah has asked I, Zane, to take over her Gundam review this week. “It’s practically a comedy at this point anyway,” she said to me. Well, then! I haven’t watched nearly as much Gundam as Han or Fran, I’ve been reading her reviews and know that not knowing precisely what’s going on or why is not necessarily a bad thing with this show.

Don’t make faces! If you don’t like the truth, then change! Actually, this was a far less chaotic episode than the last few, and provided a grand sense of adventure as the Megafauna leaves port and heads south to meet with the Capitals under a flag of truce guaranteed by Bell’s mom. After all, if there’s a threat in space, its better to deal with it from a united front.

That, and America and Capital haven’t really given us any satisfactory answer for why they’re even fighting all the time (other than ‘because’)…so why not quit it?

*BOP.* “Hee-hee! Whacking people in the back of the skull with a water ball is fun!”

I also kinda like how this huge, menacing pirate ship, the Megafauna, simply flies in under the radar into an enemy port, but only causes mild concern as it buzzes the rural locals (little kids freak out, but little kids freak out about EVERYTHING). Also, the face that they landed so Director Zenam could find a land line to call the Capital Guard to rendezvous with her. Sometimes old ways are the best ways…old phones don’t need electricity, for instance!

As for barf bags having to be brown paper…that’s just a silly anachronism! Curse this farce of a Gundam with its primative barf bags! But kudos to Aida’s dad, who is if nothing else a gentleman. Maybe these two can get married and then Bellri and Aida will be siblings!

Well…that would probably be pretty weird, as these two seem to have a sorta kinda thing going. Bell compliments Aida’s piloting prowess…

…Only for Aida to say she just plain sucks without Bell bailing her out when the Mask squad arrives to harry them. C’mon, girl, you sell yourself short!

So…you’re saying if you can’t see a person, you’re fine with horribly murdering the unseen pilot inside? Okay, got it.

I’m inclined to agree! WTF is Mask up to? The answer is, not much. He gets his ass kicked yet again and his squad withdraws yet again. I guess they wanted an aerial combat scene somewhere this week, but didn’t care whether it had anything to do with the other events of the episode. Moving on…

While the Capital Army harasses the Megafauna during its cruise, the Capital Guard is much nicer and more accomodating, as Instructor Kerbes Yoh makes the rendezvous as Director Zenam instructed and escorts them to a safe landing site. From there, the gang takes the very silly, needlessly bouncy F-Rugs into the city, where something akin to Mari Gras or Carnival is going on!

Aww, don’t be a stick-in-the-mud, Aida’s dad! I thought you were cool! The Capitals work hard and they party hard. I like the idea that there is no one on duty watching the radar or skies for enemy activity either form the North or from space. It’s Saturday, woot woot!

Even Colonel Cumpa has ditched his wedding cake-like duty uniform for a puffy frilly party shirt! Though, it seems like he’s so sick of all these drunk shorties at this point in the evening. DON’T FLAUNT YOUR YOUTH BEFORE ME.

Raraiya is sporting her midriff-bearing outfit this week.

We hear about “SU Cordism” a lot, which is kind of the church of the earth but also the monopolstic provider of photon batteries. The elder Zenam and Surgan beseech His High Cordist Holiness for council on that mysterious threat from space. At least here, through these tow, the rival sides are cordial and civil and working towards a mutually beneficial outcome.

“KIDS.”

Then Cumpa comes in, having changed into his uniform, along with Yoh and guards who take Bell away. Aida, Noredo and Rara tag along. Did they find out he killed Dellensen, and is he under arrest? Or do they just need him for something real fast. It’s not exactly clear, as so little is on this show. Still, I was pleased with the advancement of the plot, along with the fun journey home.

Gundam: G no Reconguista – 08

This was another nutty, random episode of Gundam, which I’m obliged to rate slightly higher than last week’s because it was slighty more cohesive (I guess?) and contained a few more funny moments. I can’t say it did much more than that, however. Just when I think I have the story figured out, the show whips out seventeen more proper nouns.

Whoa now, Cap’n Crunch; easy with the ten-dollar words. To my knowledge, you have yet to win a battle, but you have the temerity to call others impudent? How…er…effronterous.

Don’t you hate it when you’re tangled up with a giant flying battleship decoy balloon

As for the heated battle Mask and seemingly everyone else is involved in, Aida and Bellri land on an island for a halftime break, and get their suits outfitted with backpacks that let them fly independently. Aida also uses the opportunity to be reunited with and have a nice leisurely chat with the inspector general of the Amerian Army, and…Wait, wasn’t there a battle going on? Where’s the battle? 

Mask channels the audience.

Anyway, Bellri’s “Tricky Pack”, which is what it is actually called and not something I just made up, lets him change the color of his armor to a more adorable pink, and uses the pack’s many slick tricks to manhandle Mask.

What, is that not a proper place for an island? Sure, from your perspective it’s in an odd place, but that’s because you’re perpendicular to the horizon. Get it together, man. By ‘it’, I mean your attitude control.

Remember Bell’s mom, taking the emergency escape glider to go after her boy? Well, she somehow succeeds in gliding all the way to the location of Bellri’s battle. She also drinks from a bottle filled with water of indeterminate age. Man, I hate it when I do that; old glider water is nasty. But yeah, her casual remark above? Priceless.

For a second I thought Aida was going to do to Bell’s mom what Bell did to Dellensen: accidentally kill her. Fortunately Bell stops her. Aida seems to be cognizant of the weight of what nearly just happened. Then she makes that face on the right, because this show is awesome…sometimes.

Oh, and Mask is Luin Lee. Who? Oh yeah, the other guy in the group that included Bell, Noredo and Manny. This revelation would’ve been more…revelatory if I knew or cared about Luin to the slightest degree. But Manny, who cut her hair and became a reservist aboard a Capital carrier to search for her friends, can care about him for the both of us.

Gundam: G no Reconguista – 07

I’m loath to try to keep analyzing what went on in this episode, because…I’m not entirely sure what went on in this episode. I can tell you it was a very Gundam-y Gundam-loaf, and that I’ll do the best I can.

Mr. Mask, two weeks removed from his stunning defeat, gathers his men into a huddle, having been given another chance to retrieve the G-Self.

Any questions? …
Any questions NOT related to my mask?

Bellri’s mother continues to complain about the military buildup going on without her leave, but seems powerless to do anything about it. Then she laughs out loud for NO REASON (unless she was laughing at the hippo head trophy on the wall), boards a vintage space glider, and pretends to not know what she’s doing when she “accidentally” takes off. Turns out it was all an act so that she could looking for her son…I guess? Seems like a vintage glider with no spacesuit isn’t the best way to do that, but whatever.

Speaking of good ideas, Klim gets Rara into the cockpit of the G-Self, because she likes napping in its palm. Yes, by all means, let’s give the erratic, barely-lucid amnesiac with a fish fixation control over the rare, giant killbot!

When the Capital Army detects the Megafauna on grainy video — actually an inflatable decoy — Mask’s squadron nears, and Bellri has to pilot a different, less awesome mobile suit, the name of which escapes me because every other word in the dialogue of this show is a proper noun I don’t remember the significance of. “Deploy the Waldensteiners over the Genius outside of the Ceres Strip, before the Chiclids and Walleyes launch!”

Mr. Genius Klim gets into another fight with Mask, and again, proves he’s hardly a genius when it comes to mobile suit combat. He’s more of a “looks like that annoying kid from Last Exile” genius. Who says things like this:

If you would kindly be shot down!

Rara’s joyride in the G-Self is short-lived, as she quickly falls into the sea and is about to drown when Bellri snatches her up. I guess that’s better than the G-Self awakening Rara’s memories, having her go berserk and attack her own side.

Then Bellri goes after Mask and gets G-Self all busted up, and they both yell even though I don’t think there’s an open comms, so they’re really just yelling at themselves in their cramped cockpits, which you’d think would hurt your ears! The battle is broken up by a huge green mecha gunship thingy, leading Aida to deliver this gem of a conversation…with herself:

Father has even had things like that developed? But…It saved our lives.

I do not recommend watching this dubbed in English. Oh, and Bellri’s pretty much over killing his instructor, so Yay!

And now, your RABUJOI Moment of Zen: