Masou Gakuen – 01 (First Impression)

Screen Shot 2016-07-03 at 10.28.21 PM

The first frame os this episode tells you almost everything you need to know. Yes, it’s super soft-touch ecchi.

Yes, it’s a boy who’s only power in this mecha-fantasy world is to sexually excite ladies who have all the mecha-fantasy power to defeat CGI invaders that have destroyed the rest of earth!

Screen Shot 2016-07-03 at 10.43.43 PM

What’s good? Relative to the H-drivel it could be, Masou Gakuen is smart enough to make the ‘hero’ completely powerless in every way except to sexually excite the women who actually fight. Sure, it doesn’t get rid of the obvious harem-building but, at least, it means the WOMEN are powerful and he’s actually more like the female sexu objectu that fuel most standard anime.

What’s not so good? The animation is terrible, the cut I watched was censored, and even the uncensored version would be less exciting than the awkward sexual experiences most of us have in middle school. Honestly, watch ‘mermaids’ from last season, and you’ll get a face full of more boobs and etc than this cowardly lion sill shower you in.

Screen Shot 2016-07-03 at 10.34.06 PM

The verdict: there isn’t much reason to watch this anime. It’s badly drawn, laughably stupid, less sexy than any ‘adult’ show on Netflix, and there isn’t even a coherent plot setup in the first episode.

Seriously! You can find so much more, higher quality soft H/hard H anime online for free that this show doesn’t deserve your time. Even less so if you’re looking for a fun, or funny, anime to coast you through the season.

16rating_5

Advertisements

ReLIFE – 03

reli31

Kaizaki may be Yoake’s project, but Kaizaki has made Hishiro his, with entertaining results. Her manner of returning 1,000 yen to him is nothing short of inspired, while her attempts to smile at Kariu end up giving the redhead the mistaken impression that Hishiro is looking down on her (figuratively).

reli32

The growing disconnect between Hishiro’s intentions and Kariu’s interpretations ends up being the primary driving force for an episode that’s otherwise pretty light. It goes without saying that despite his youthful looks, Kaizaki’s body is still every bit 27 years old, and his lack of warming up for a ball throw results in a paltry one-meter toss and lots of shoulder pain.

We also meet the childhood friend trio of Tamarai (Kariu’s athletic rival, but also friend), Inukai, and Asaji.

reli33

When trying to be friendly with Kariu, Hishiro only manages to add fuel to the fire that she somehow has it out for Kariu, not remembering her name and failing to shake hands properly, along with that creepy smile that is the envy of anime villains everywhere.

Kaizaki actually gets off to a great start in the 50m dash, but trips and falls hard, prompting health rep Asaji to princess carry him to the nurse; a demoralizing new low for Kaizaki, but thankfully school isn’t all about sports!

reli34

Things look up when Kaizaki learns Hishiro shares his route to school. When they arrive together, Kariu spots Hishiro smiling naturally (because she’s not consciously trying to smile), confirming her belief Hishiro is the type of girl who is mean to other girls but nice to the guys.

All the while, Kaizaki seems resigned to the fact no one will remember him in a year, so it’s not like he’s trying to start a romance with anyone. At home during his log entry, Yoake is glad Kaizaki is making faster progress than “Sample 001” in his first month of his ReLIFE.

At the moment, Yoake is more concerned about the cumulative emotional damage being done to Kariu, for which Kaizaki is indirectly responsible via his suggesting Hishiro smile more. Judging from those dead eyes, it doesn’t look like Kariu’s going to put up with Hishiro’s faces much longer.

16rating_8

Tales of Zestiria the X – 00 (Prologue)

tz001

This is officially a prequel/prologue of the forthcoming ufotable fantasy epic based upon a game I’ve never played, so most of the faces we see we won’t see again, aside from Princess Alisha, who is part of the main party in the OP that follows the end credits.

This prologue chronicles Alisha, and humanity in general, just having a really crummy week. A dark and foreboding mist is growing in the sky, and she rides out to search for her subordinate and friend Clemm, whom she originally sent to determine if the cloud is the cause of any health problems among the people.

tz002

While on her journey, Alisha and her escorts are ambushed by ninja-like warriors who fight her to a draw before one of them reveals themself as, well, let’s say “not human.” The battle not only shows that Alisha can handle herself, but that the combat in the show is going to be very slick and pretty, a la Fate stay/night UBW.

tz003

Before long, swords, spears, armor and horses are of absolutely no avail, as mere moments after locating Clemm (while Professor Drake lurks far below the earth, inspecting “ley lines”, tendrils of smoke and ash emit from the dark mist and start rending the land. All Alisha & Co. can do is run like hell.

In the midst of all this chaos, another non-human being appears, eager to open the Gate of…well, Chaos. There were moments it seemed like this being, dressed for the club, was somehow protecting Alisha, but events don’t bear that out.

tz004

Indeed, once both the female being and the male being who ambushed Alisha before are done, the entire landscape has been consimed with smoke and fire, and Alisha is all alone, with Clemm and the others all swept up in the chaos, never to be seen again.

Alisha limps back to the ill-looking town to find it a smoking ruin, and even the one last child survivor gets swept up just when she arrives, to twist the proverbial knife. Finally, a gigantic flame dragon emerges from the clouds and seems to come at Alisha.

tz005

So there you have it: not a swell couple of days for Princess Alisha, presented as part in parcel of the introduction to a world that seems to be paying humanity back for the pride they’ve developed after forgetting that other beings coexist with them, though they do not see them, and that nature itself has been thrown out of balance.

Surely, the episodes to come will gather the members of a fellowship tasked with saving the world, or something to that effect. For now, the production values are above reproach; an elaborate but far more approachable style than, say, Berserk (at least to me). This prologue has definitely piqued my interest in ufotable’s latest effort.

16rating_8

Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu – 14

rez141

It stood to reason Subaru wouldn’t quickly or easily fix things with Emilia, or even figure out how to fix things with Emilia. As disheartening proof, Emilia doesn’t even appear this week; her absence creating a yawning void when combined with where she and Subaru left things. Still, I had no idea things would get so much worse so quickly. And yet they do: Re:Zero lets the shit fly free into a very big fan, and nobody comes out clean.

rez142

What’s devastating about what transpires centers on some intentionally harsh words from Felix that sort of echo what Julius had to say (and what he risked his career and chivalry to try to teach Subie, to no avail): Even if Subaru had a plan, even if he involved himself, even if he risked everything to try to do something to protect Emilia, it wouldn’t matter.

That’s how out of his element he is: those who would be his enemies (or at least the political rivals of Emilia) are doing their utmost to simply keep Subaru out of it, not because they’re worried he’d make things worse, but because he’d only end up dead, accomplishing nothing.

rez143

Subie being Subie, he respectfully dismisses stern warnings from both Crusch (who if nothing else was a decent host) and Felix (who had been healing his gate) and heads back “home” to Roswaal Mathers’ domain as soon as he hears of reports of suspicious movement near the mansion.

The one bright light in the yawning abyss this week was Rem, staying by Subaru’s side no matter how pathetic he gets (indeed, largely because he’s pathetic), not due to any contracts or obligations or honor, but because she wants to.

We know what that means even if Subaru isn’t particularly receptive to it: Rem cares about him, at least as much as he cares about Emilia, and she won’t leave his side. Her “save a tiny bit of that for me”, talking about his feelings for Emilia, might be the saddest line of the show.

rez144

But as far as she takes him, even Rem can’t find it in her to bear Subaru to whatever is going in the Mathers lands. Instead, she leaves for the mansion in the night, leaving a note pleading Subaru to heed her words. Stay behind; wait for her return; trust in her.

He can’t. He uses every means at his disposal to get closer and closer to the place no one wants him anywhere near for his own good. He takes Rem’s note as another endorsement of the “Subaru can’t do anything” narrative.

When he’s running in the dark and becomes suddenly surrounded by a circle of sinister-looking magicians who don’t even bother to kill him before racing off, it’s clear that Yup, he can’t do anything. Not about this.

rez145

In case he didn’t get the message there, he finally arrives at the village near the mansion, and it’s the site of a massacre of men, women, and children. Was this the result of the intense public prejudice against Emilia’s half-elf lineage, which she barely ever mentioned to Subaru? Was it those magicians? I don’t know, but I’ll admit the sight shocked me.

But the village was nothing compared to Subaru entering the Mathers Mansion, seeing a bloody mace, and then coming upon the lifeless, bloodied body of Rem, as she recites her letter to him. I can’t believe Rem is dead any more than Subaru wants to, and though I wouldn’t put it past Re:Zero to make these myriad tragedies stick, one can’t discount the fact Subaru can do something no one around him knows he can do: die, and by doing so, blow up everything that’s transpired to this point.

Will he do that? If he does Return by Death, where and when does he wake up, and what the hell can he do to prevent this? As for if he doesn’t RbD, well…I don’t particularly want to think about that.

16rating_9

Orange – 01 (First Impressions)

oran11

16-year-old Takamiya Naho gets a mysterious letter from her 26-year-old self in the future. The letter details everything that will happen in her second year of high school, and asks that she make different choices to avoid the regrets her future self harbors.

Most of those regrets involve transfer student Naruse Kakeru, who Naho promptly falls in love with. Reading the letter, Past Naho learns that ten years in the future, Kakeru has passed away.

oran12

I’ll admit, at first my cynical ass was a little put off by the sheer raw earnestness of Orange, particularly the exaggerated, almost grotesque expressions made by Azusa and little in the way of comedy, but I gradually got used to the character design and soft, gentle colors evoking a wistful look back to almost idealized better times.

oran13

I also like how Naho doesn’t immediately start doing what her future leter tells her to do, because it’s a lot to take in and she’s certainly a bit weirded out about the situation.

Of course, when she chooses not to keep Kakeru from hanging out, Kakeru ends up absent for two weeks, doing God knows what, so the next time a choice comes, Naho realizes the regret she’d feel if she didn’t pinch hit and her class lost the softball game.

oran14

The stakes here are still low, but a tiny kernel of regret can grow bigger and glom on to other little regrets until you have enough to compel you to write a letter to your past self, so Naho steps to the plate and belts one, too-small shoes and all, and wins it for her classmates.

Kakeru is there to treat her foot injury, in a tender and beautifully lit scene that establishes the romance that’s likely to come, not long after Kakeru makes it plain he doesn’t much care for Suwa, who also seems to like Naho.

oran15

And while I knew full well Kakeru wasn’t in future Naho’s life, just as Menma was a ghost in Jinta’s, when Past Maho reads that part and we see the letters on the page, I still got chills. It was a masterful dramatic blow right to the gut that earned the episode a 9. Kakeru, who Naho only just fell for, won’t be around if she doesn’t make different choices.

It’s probably more responsibility than a carefree high schooler should have to bear, but she seems a lot better off than her future self. Despite being a wife to Suwa and mother to a child, makes it plain that the joy and happiness her past self is currently experiencing will slip away if she loses Kakeru. Will “keeping a close eye” on him be enough?

In all, I was impressed with this first episode. It’s always great to have Hanazawa Kana in a meaty leading role, and as I said, the ending packed a punch, as did her winning homer. Definitely looking forward to this one…even if it might break my heart!

16rating_9