Bakuon!! – 05

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This week’s Bakoun is simple enough – the girls come to the northern end of Hokkaido and accidentally meet their recently-dumped sensei, who tries to commit suicide and, failing that, rape them. Later, the girls ride back to the ferry and lament their time on the island is over.

Along the way, Rin shows us that she is pure of heart and won’t run over the red foxes, even if they deserve it. Also, Frizzy-chan is remarkably insightful, even if her lines are corny.

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Then the girls put on bikinis and sexy-wash their bikes for the episode’s final five minutes in the most WTF pandering moment imaginable. Roll Credits…

If you can pretend the final scene didn’t happen, episode 5 has a lot of heart. Rin hanging back to balls-out test her max speed, only to be thwarted by the foxes in the road, only to be reminded of her humanity by Jesus’ holy cup, all had an honest feel to it. Almost a moral message, even.

But that final scene…what the heck? Watching Hane sploosh soap on her breasts so she can deep grind her bike clean, foam billowing up her crotch – and then having Rin do the same? Really??

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Sure, It was funny in a totally awkward way but man, following such a sweet, heartfelt story about girls on the road, the ending cheapens the whole thing. Roll in the totally weird attempted rape scene by their teacher halfway through and I don’t know what to think.

Yeesh Bakoun, you can be really funny without sexualizing your characters, you know? smh

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Hundred – 05

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What’s Kirishima Hayato’s secret for getting all these hot ladies falling at his feet? From what I can tell, it’s to be as nondescript and vapid a character as it is possible to be while still able to be called a “character.”

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They don’t just fall at his feet of their own accord, though: they forget they don’t have their bikini top tied on, or slip and fall on top of him. So it’s not just vapidity, but the fact that physics itself seem to favor the guy.

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Hundred does its darndest to not spend any more time than it needs to on silly matters like protecting civilization from a scourge of powerful monsters. Instead, it prefers having Hayato go on a date with Emilia after turning down Claire’s swimming challenge.

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Wait, but isn’t he supposed to be Sakura’s bodyguard, you ask? Apparently not full-time. Which is unfortunate, because Sakura disappears when he’s off the job. Thankfully, she used his GPD signal to track him down so she can take him somewhere special to her. Emilia gets ditched. Don’t hate the playa…

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I’m not sure Hayato signed up to have Sakura prattle on interminably about her increasingly dark and cruel past as they admire the islands’ version of the grand canyon (the geography of this place, and why its not overrun with savages, escapes me).

I think I fell asleep during some of the exposition, but from what I heard, Sakura had the same virus as Karen, was sold to a mad scientist and injected with Savage cells in an attempt to build a super-slayer. Not-fun times.

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Then Sakura proceeds to connect every significant part of her life to Hayato, from the one who set her on the path to idoldom, to the one who preserved the place where she apparently has good (rather than horrifying) memories, and the fact both of them are variants and thus “share the same fate.”

I imagine Sakura is going to be disappointed when she learns that Hayato does not and will not belong to just one woman. He belongs to them all. His blandness…it’s just so breathtaking.

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Oh HEY! It’s a savage! Those variant kids from last week, perhaps? They come pretty late in this episode. In fact, they come at the very end, before Hayato has any time to break out his Hundred and, you know, fight them.

Instead we spent what felt like an eternity watching Hayato jump from one girl to another, turning one Claire for Emilia, ditching Emilia for Sakura, and telling Sakura, who is pouring her heart out, to “calm down there.” Maybe the real monster in Hundred is Hayato.

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Macross Delta – 05

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Since Windermere’s bold declaration of war against the NUG and bloodless invasion of Vordor, there are no further advances this week. Everyone kind of takes a breather, coming to grips that whether or not Ragna feels any different, war is upon everyone, and while many are committed to fighting it, others must make the decision for themselves, including Freyja and Hayate.

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As it’s a “breather” episode, we dart from one side of the conflict to the other. Even among the higher-ranked Windermereans, there’s argument over whether bloodshed should be used should Prince Heinz’s voice or health fail before their invasion is complete. Hardliners and pragmatists squabble in gilded towers while ordinary townsfolk in villages like Freyja’s gawk at the Aerial Knights’ formations.

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The grizzled veterans of Delta feel a bit of nostalgia, since they’re now poised to fight the Windermereans like they did seven years ago. As for the Freyja, she is caught up in a maelstrom of media attention over whether she’s actually spy for the enemy.

Sensing her inability to wrangle this kind of media circus, Hayate helps her escape to the beach, where the two of them contemplate whether to join the fight, and lament the fact everyone can’t just get along.

Enter Mirage, whose human and Zentradi grandparents got along despite their peoples being at war, inspiring peace. Hayate thinks she brings this up to suggest a similar path for Freyja and him, and they descend into childish bickering (which Freyja laughs her creepy laugh at).

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The fate of the three becomes cemented with Walkure and Delta when Hayate “borrows” a Siegfried so he and Freyja can blow off some steam. As she sings, they dance in the moonlight…but there are volatile extant rumors about Freyja, and they’re in serious violation of regulations in a time of war, so when Messer threatens to shoot Hayate down for mutiny, he sounds serious.

After they land, Messer makes it clear that the time for messing around is over, and if Hayate doesn’t like it, he can leave. Obviously, he doesn’t leave. Instead, he resolves to fight in Delta Platoon, so that he can return the skies to the kind of place he can screw around without risking getting shot down.

It’s a bit selfish and petty, but it’s not the only reason, just his stated one. He also feels bad for getting Freyja and Mirage in trouble, and after Freyja commits to sticking with Walkure to “cheer the galaxy up”, he can’t very well leave her side. As for Mirage, things are still rough, but they’ll now be fighting on the same side in a war against Freyja’s people. A deepening of bonds all around is inevitable.

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